


The Many Woes of Prince Arthur and Merlin

by Kage Kitsune (Kage_Kitsune)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Drama, Gay, M/M, Romance, Slash, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 87,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24376687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kage_Kitsune/pseuds/Kage%20Kitsune
Summary: Merlin and Arthur are both about to lose their minds.Merlin's been forced by Uther to attend private servant lessons with his own personal servant Huon. He really thought Arthur was his friend, someone he could rely on, but that no longer seems to be the truth.Arthur can't understand why Merlin is suddenly pulling away and spending so much time in taverns. He doesn't understand why he's so frustrated about it either.They're going to have to make things work soon or they both might be jumping from the castle roof.
Relationships: Arthur/Merlin, Merlin/Arthur
Comments: 685
Kudos: 279





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic will vary from comical to angst and everything in between. I never intended to write a Merlin fanfic. I'm new to the series. I've seen maybe 6 episodes? So, I'm dubbing this Au, because the only knight I know is for sure that’s in this series is Lancelot. I could look up which ones are present in the show, but I don’t want to ruin anything. It's Au anyway, despite things being the same in certain areas.  
> I'm warning everyone right now. This story is being written for my own amusement. Something to have fun with when I get frustrated or just need a break from my Harry Potter fanfics.   
> So, between everything previously stated, my random run-ins with my health, work, etc. I make no promises on updates. They'll happen when they do.  
> Oh, and the biggest warning. This is a slash story. Arthur/Merlin. Eventually.  
> Warnings: SLASH Arthur/Merlin, Merlin/Arthur, gay, yaoi, whatever you dub it, that's what it is.  
> Warning: AU (Alternate Reality) Despite that it's taking place in Camelot during the same time period.  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 1

"Where's Merlin," Arthur asked as he stepped into Gaius's tower. He had a pair of boots in desperate need of polishing and quite frankly, it was the only excuse he could come up with to see Merlin that evening. Not that he needed an excuse, he was the prince after all. If he wanted to see Merlin at any time of the day, he could. That was his right and Merlin's duty. And getting another servant to fetch Merlin and send him to his room had seemed too tedious, so he'd come to the tower himself. Besides, when they were with Gaius, Merlin was more at ease and far more willing to act like he used to. He wasn't sure what had occurred within the last few weeks, but Merlin had actually begun to shut up and that was a sure sign that something was wrong, and he wanted to know what.

"At the tavern," Gaius said, his eyes flicking up from the herbs he'd been crushing inside a bowl with a pestle.

"Again?" It wasn't like Merlin couldn't go, but he'd told Arthur just that morning that he was tired and hoped Gaius wouldn't keep him busy for long so he could get some sleep. "He said he was coming straight back here to help you with something." Did Merlin feel the need to lie to him about going to the tavern? Was his drinking problem getting that out of hand? Was that why he'd suddenly become so distant?

"He did," Gaius said. "And then Sir Lancelot came and begged him to go with him to the tavern." He grabbed a nearby book and studied its page before nodding. "Is there something you needed him for my lord? I could go fetch him for you."

"No... it wasn't anything urgent." He left the physician's room, his chin in hand. It seemed like every time he came by lately; Merlin was at the tavern. And now he was in a tavern with Lancelot. Perhaps this was a problem. After all, his knights shouldn't be going to the tavern and sharing drinks with a servant. At least not _his_ servant.

Should he go track them down? He didn't want to make a scene and technically Lancelot wasn't of noble blood, but he was a knight. And he didn't actually care that they were at the same tavern, there were only three in all of Camelot. There was a considerable distance between them, and Arthur didn't believe for a second Merlin would step foot in the one in the lowest quarters. That one was more known for its "entertainment" than its drinks. The commoner's tavern was better, but chances were they were in the tavern in the upper quarters.

That meant people would recognize them. Alright, everyone recognized Merlin. But that was all the more reason the two of them shouldn't be drinking together. It wasn't like he wanted to go and ruin their fun, but his knights's reputation was important. He couldn't allow them to go drinking with servants, or rather, he couldn't let them go drinking with Merlin.

There was no other choice. He'd wait for them to return and tell Lancelot he couldn't do such things and order Merlin to stay put. If Lancelot wanted a drinking buddy, he'd have to get one of the other knights to go with him or take along some other servant. Some nobles did that, so the servant could watch their things and make sure they got home safe. He'd be more than happy to get Lancelot his own personal servant to go to taverns with, just not Merlin.

And so, he waited in the hall, pacing back and forth until he could take it no longer and went back to Gaius's chambers. Without waiting for an invitation, he sat down at the table drumming his fingers on its wooden surface, each passing second adding flames to his anger.

"It's almost midnight," he shouted when he could no longer bear it.

Gaius turned to Arthur and offered him a small shrug.

"I do apologize Prince Arthur, but it happens sometimes," he said. "I'm still willing to go fetch him if you'd like."

"No! ...No," he repeated clenching his hand into a fist and slowly relaxing it while letting out a small frustrated hiss. "I will deal with him and Lancelot tomorrow. You warn Merlin if he's late waking me up in the morning, he will be scrubbing the floors of the castle the rest of the week!"

"Understood my lord." Gaius bowed his head gently in his direction. Arthur was sure he could see amusement in Gaius's eyes.

_That humor had better be for Merlin's possible punishment._

With another frustrated sigh, Arthur got up and left. He stormed down the hall, his boots echoing throughout the tower with each step, the guards at the entrance stepping out of his way and bowing their heads as he raged by.

_So, help you if you're late Merlin!_

**(X)**

Merlin stepped into the room, his pants leg catching on his shoe. He flew forward clutching the tray of food he was holding as tight as he could, only holding onto the tray itself wasn't the problem, he and the food were.

 _No, I can't start the day like this_ , he mentally groaned.

He felt his magic rush through his body, his eyes no doubt flashing gold. The tray and he stopped, the food freezing in place a foot over Arthur's face. He quickly got his balance restored and pushed the food threatening to topple onto Arthur's face into the middle of the tray where it could do no harm.

"Oh good," he breathed out before letting out a quiet laugh in triumph as a reward for saving Arthur's breakfast as well as himself.

Arthur's eyes snapped open, his face contorting in confusion. "Merlin...what in the hell are you doing?"

Merlin yelped, the tray and all its contents falling on top of the prince. The tray dropped onto Arthur's right shoulder, the fruit beat Arthur's cheeks, the water drowned his hair. The cheese pieces rolled down Arthur's blanket landing by his waist and the bread hit the prince's arm before managing a marvelous spin in the air that landed with a perfect score of ten on the floor.

Merlin watched it all in complete horror and yet, worst of all, he could not stop laughing. He backed away from the prince, knowing this was the last thing he should be doing, but how could he not? He knew Arthur's shocked look was going to turn fast into rage and Merlin would be lucky if all he had to endure was a week in the town square getting rotten food thrown at him. Gaius had warned him over breakfast that Arthur was already mad at him for running off with Lancelot to the tavern and threatening to make him scrub the floors of the castle. That should have been enough to make him keep his mouth shut.

But that wide eye, mouth open look of utter disbelief was too funny and perhaps worth the three weeks in the dungeon Arthur would probably decide to discipline him with in the end.

He watched as a look of rage took hold over the prince's face, his hands clenching into fists.

"MERLIN!" His entire body jerked towards him, the tray clattering loudly onto the floor. Whatever food previously spared by landing on Arthur's blanket joined the bread, but not landing nearly as eloquently, on the floor.

 _Oh no!_ He tried so hard, but he just couldn't stop. Weeks of training with Uther's personal servants were fast going out the window.

"I'll get a towel," he managed between laughs, tears pouring down his cheeks. He bolted from the room to retrieve a towel, knowing his freedom and good cheer would end soon, but it was Arthur's fault. He had had the situation completely under control until Arthur had woken up and spoken to him. If he'd just waited until Merlin had gotten the tray onto the table, none of this would have happened.

"MERLIN!"

He cringed and laughed harder as Arthur's voice followed him down the stairway. The guard at the bottom gave him a curious look as he ran by. There would be hell to pay upon his return, but that face!

"What's so funny," Gwen asked, coming down the hall. She was holding a stack of clean laundry close to her chest.

 _What luck_. "I'm, or rather Prince Arthur is in desperate need of one of these," he explained snatching a towel from the top of Gwen's laundry pile. "You've probably spared me a few extra days in the stocks."

Gwen let out a gasp followed fast by laughter. "What did you do this time?"

"Fed prince Arthur in bed," he grinned.

"You didn't!" Her laughter brought fresh energy to his own, and he brought the towel up, hiding his face to muffle his laughs. "Merlin! Get back up there before he decides to have you executed!" Her warning ruined as her laughter intensified. "Now!"

"I'm going," he said, stopping after a single step. "You'll bring me food if I'm thrown in the dungeon, right?"

"Go!"

They continued to share a laugh, Merlin waving the towel in some weird goodbye before their paths separated. He took two steps at a time up the tower stairs, hoping Arthur wasn't waiting for him at the door with his sword ready to behead him.

 _Oh, he's going to let me have it._ He bit down on the towel, trying to stop his laughter before reentering the room. He removed the cloth so Arthur wouldn't know he'd had it in his mouth, took a few deep breaths to calm himself, and burst into more laughter.

The door flew open, Arthur standing before him with a look that promised him pain and so much worse if he didn't get inside the room and make everything right.

He knew his laughter was going to get him whipped at this point, not that Arthur had ever had any of his servants whipped, but Uther had, and Merlin was going to be Arthur's first if he didn't stop. But he'd been trying so hard to keep a wall between him and Arthur as instructed by his "teachers" and this moment they were sharing was too much.

"I'm so sorry, but the look on your face!" He held the towel up and Arthur jerked it out of his hands so hard and fast, he stumbled again into the room.

"This is not funny," Arthur screamed, his face bright red. He began drying his hair and face off. "I cannot believe you!" He slammed the door shut, the poor wooden slab vibrating in place. "What were you doing holding the tray over my face in the first place," he demanded.

"I stumbled into the room," he managed. He found the tray on the other side of Arthur's bed and picked it up. "I managed to catch myself, but then you spoke to me and, well," he grinned at the prince as he walked around the bed and began picking up the food from the floor.

"This is not my fault," Arthur screamed.

Merlin looked over his shoulder at the prince. "Of course, it wasn't." He let his smirk speak for itself and set the bread and pieces of cheese onto the tray.

Arthur let out a frustrated growl and stomped towards Merlin. He grabbed him by the shoulder, pulled him around, and up to his face in one swift and fluid movement, the tray and food clattering back to the floor.

Arthur's sudden strength amazed Merlin.

"Are you drunk," he asked in a hiss, his words dripping with venom.

"What? Why would you think that," Merlin asked, scrunching up his face. Of all the things to come out of Arthur's mouth, this he hadn't expected. "I've told you over and over I don't drink." Not that it was Arthur's job to remember everything he said unless it was important, as Uther's head personal servant Huon had told him.

Arthur threw him to the floor, Merlin landing on his bottom and lower back. He winced at the sharp pain that followed but kept his eyes fixed on Arthur. Perhaps his laughter had been too much because Arthur had never once thrown him like this or looked at him with as much anger, and disgust, as he did right now. This was exactly why Uther had forced him into servant training, to begin with. He kept screwing up and Uther, unknown to Arthur, was ready to have him sacked if he didn't shape up. He'd been sure Arthur would protect him anyway, but Uther had told him if he so much as hinted to Arthur about his intentions, he'd be exiled.

"Then why is it every time I come to see you, you're at the bloody tavern!?" He took a step towards Merlin, the warlock scrambling backward to keep the distance between them.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he blurted, his words falling over one another. "I was there last night—"

"Past midnight!"

Merlin made a face. "You waited until midnight for me?"

"That's not the point!"

Merlin flinched. No wonder Arthur was pissed. He'd waited all night for Merlin to return and as a result hadn't gotten a full night's sleep. And then Merlin, who'd unknowingly and unintentionally caused the sleep deprivation, had woken Arthur up by dropping his breakfast tray on him.

"Why didn't you just ask Gaius or one of the other servants to come get me," he asked using the wall to help him get back on his feet. Another sharp pain followed, but he'd deal with that later.

"It wasn't that important! The problem is you spend way too much time at the tavern! People are going to think my servant is a drunk!"

"I don't drink," Merlin said again. "I was there with Lancelot helping him make a gift for Gwen." He glared at Arthur, biting back the insult that Arthur drove all the servants to drink, not just him, but the situation was volatile enough. "It's Sweets day this Friday," he said trying to keep his voice even. Arthur seemed to have started to calm down, his chest no longer heaving, his eyes no longer narrowed. "Lancelot wanted to give Gwen something special, so he asked me to help him." He swallowed, fear setting in as Arthur watched his every move. It was the same way he watched his enemies on the battlefield. One wrong move or word and you're dead.

"What can you possibly help Lancelot with?"

"Gaius has books with pictures of herbs and flowers for his medicines. Lancelot picked one out he thought was pretty and...and we made a pendant in that shape for a necklace. Gwaine helped us last week to find a gemstone for the center of the flower. We've been working really hard on it."

Arthur studied him and finally nodded.

"Fine." He turned on Merlin and walked towards his closet. "I think I'll take my breakfast with the other nobles today," he said, still clearly annoyed. But not angry, Merlin noted. "Perhaps until further notice, after you've learned how to properly walk," he snapped, pulling out a dark red tunic.

"Okay," he said just loud enough for Arthur to hear. To his amazement, Arthur removed his nightshirt and pants without any help. A blush crept across Merlin's cheeks as he watched Arthur fight to pull up his pants, shirtless. This made the sore back worth it. His grin found its way back onto his face as Arthur finally managed to pull his pants up over his bum.

Arthur seemed to somehow sense Merlin's eyes because he turned around, catching Merlin in the act of enjoying his eye candy. "You think it's funny I can't trust my personal servant to dress me," Arthur demanded grabbing the tunic he'd set on the table. He slipped it on over his head.

"Of course not," he said, running to grab Arthur's socks. It was a shame Arthur hadn't waited to put his tunic on. He rather liked staring at his abs too. "I don't see why you don't trust me though. I did dress you up perfectly in food this morning."

Merlin heard a sharp intake of breath from behind.

"Merlin, do you have a death wish," he asked calmly.

Merlin turned, holding the socks. "You know, sometimes I wonder," he said, frowning.

"So, do I," Arthur said. He sat down on his bed and Merlin knelt, wincing yet again as he did so. It was going to be a long day. He took one of Arthur's feet and worked the sock on.

He knew he shouldn't have laughed so much at Arthur's food attack. It was his fault, and he had apologized, but he'd been laughing while doing so. Arthur and he insulted each other all the time, though. Merlin liked to think his relationship with Arthur was stronger, friendlier than it was with the other servants. That they could tease each other and be okay, but perhaps he'd been thinking too highly of himself. Maybe Arthur only continued to put up with him because he was stupid enough to drink poison for him whenever the situation arose. Basically, everything Huon had yelled at him about the other day.

_But we've been through a lot. I've saved him plenty of times! Not that he knows about most of them…._

He started with the other sock.

"Where was this silence when you needed it?"

Merlin looked up, their eyes meeting. He looked away, no longer sure that Arthur saw him the way he'd thought he had. Or maybe he had, and Merlin really had gone too far today. Or Huon had been right, and Arthur really did think he was a horrible servant and person, only tolerating him because his father had personally assigned Merlin to him.

"I don't know," he answered quietly. He finished with the second sock and grabbed Arthur's boots. That was easy at least and Merlin needed easy right now because his mind and emotions were a complete and utter mess and if anything he did required real attention, he feared he might set it on fire. Which he could not afford to do right now. Arthur wouldn't think twice to run him through with a sword if he found out about his magic with the chaotic morning he'd caused.

He stood up, refusing to acknowledge the pain. He'd make sure Arthur was with his father and the other nobles eating in the dining hall and then ask Gaius for something to help stop the ache.

"Okay... let's see." He grabbed Arthur's belt, the prince taking it from his hands. Merlin gave him credit. Arthur lodged a wonderful battle against it, grunts and groans included. When it was obvious, he wasn't going to win he stomped his foot and looked up at Merlin, his red face daring him to say something.

Merlin had no intention of saying anything. He enjoyed dressing Arthur and delighted in buckling his belt. Besides, he really did need to behave until the cranky prince calmed down. He wrapped the brown leather around Arthur's spectacular hips and fastened the buckle.

He took a step back to examine their work and nodded. "All good, my lord. Shall we go to the dining hall?"

"And risk you tripping so you can shove me down the stairs," Arthur asked with heavy sarcasm.

"That wasn’t my fault!” It had been Morgana’s, not that Arthur had believed him when he’d tried to explain.

"This room better be spotless before morning training." He turned on his heel like a real noble, his head held high, and strode out of the room.

"Spoiled prat," Merlin muttered after he'd counted to ten to make sure Arthur was far enough away not to hear. " You're lucky our destinies are intertwined and even luckier you have such a good-looking arse."

It took slightly longer than planned to tidy up Arthur's room. The water had not just drenched Arthur's hair; it had soaked his bed as well. He used a spell for drying clothes on the mattress and grabbed dry sheets for the bed. It worked out well enough in the end though. The weather would be turning cold soon, and Merlin would have had to get the thicker sheets and blankets within the next week anyway.

After putting on the winter sheets and thick duvet he went to work picking up the food. Arthur had managed to step on some of the cheese. A shame, everything had looked so good before its gymnastic act. He retrieved the goblet and set it on the table.

He frowned noting how chilly it was in the room. He didn't want Arthur getting sick, even if he was a prat. _I guess I don't have a choice._ The pain medicine would have to wait. He stepped into the middle of the room and held both hands out above his head, facing in opposite directions. " _Beþast gerúm_." A rush of warm air filled the room, making the temperature comfortable.

He was going to need to a cover story though….

His eyes fell on one of the many candles in the room. "Perfect." Grinning, he grabbed it and using the wax from the candle, made a seal around the wood that covered Arthur's window. A window sealed against the wind and cold outside made for a warm room, right?

Satisfied with his work, he grabbed the tray and nibbled on the bread as he went down the stairs. He knew the food wasn't that dirty, he scrubbed Arthur's bedroom floor all the time. He deposited the tray and its contents in the kitchen, making sure to say hello to everyone as he did.

Now he just had to get something to ease the pain in his back. He stepped out of the castle, his heart falling as he watched the knights gather in the training grounds.

This was not fair. All he needed was maybe four minutes to bother Gaius for some medicine. He walked over to the edge of the training grounds wishing the day to be over with already. Sighing, he folded his arms and placed them on top of the wooden fence, before resting his head on them, trying not to wince every time he shifted his weight.

Lancelot waved to him before putting his helmet on. Merlin waved back, regretting it immediately _. He must have thrown me harder than I thought._ That or he'd fallen the wrong way. It didn't take much to turn what should have been a minor injury into a serious one. Which seemed to be the case right now because no matter what position he tried to rest in, the pain wasn't letting up.

"Merlin! Shield," Arthur yelled to him.

He nodded and walked over to the stand full of shields, glad to be doing something. If he didn't keep busy and stop thinking about his back, he was going to go mad. Not that his other thoughts were any more pleasant. When his back wasn't complaining to him, Huon's voice was echoing through his head about all the stupid things he'd done and why Uther was going to remove him from Arthur's side.

**(X)**

"Merlin," Lancelot called to him, jogging over. "I believe we should finish today," he said grinning. "Meet me at the tavern after dinner?"

"Sure." He needed an escape from his current life, anyway. Tonight, once again, instead of Merlin the foolish servant, or Merlin the somehow greatest sorcerer of all time, or Merlin the failed servant student, he could simply be Merlin the jewelry maker, which he was surprisingly good at.

"Lancelot!" Arthur came walking towards, his expression not happy.

"Careful, I made him really mad this morning," Merlin whispered.

"No wonder he was working us so hard," Lancelot whispered back.

Arthur stopped in front of them, only addressing Lancelot. It seemed Merlin had forfeited his right to be acknowledged as a fellow human after his little mishap that morning. "I'll allow you to finish the gift, but after that, you need to stop taking my servant to taverns. It's unsightly for a knight to be drinking buddies with my servant, and I don't need the people of Camelot thinking he's a drunk."

"Excuse me," Merlin jumped in. Why had his life after work become such an issue with Arthur? "I'm not on duty as your servant when I go out with Lancelot! I'm not even Gaius's apprentice when we go out. We're just friends!"

"The knights of Camelot outrank you," Arthur snapped, fixing a glare on Merlin. "You are not friends."

Merlin felt his mouth drop.

"With all due respect my lord, we knights owe Merlin far too much to not consider him our friend. He's invaluable during our scouting sessions and missions and—"

"This is not up for discussion," Arthur said.

The other knights had at some point joined them, watching silently until Gareth stepped forward. "We are agreed upon this my lord," he said his green eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "Merlin is our friend."

"My word overrules all of you! Merlin is a servant, nothing more!"

"And when he takes over for Gaius as court physician," Gareth pressed.

"I will never allow such an idiot to be the physician for _my_ court!"

"THEN I'LL BE SOMEONE ELSE'S PHYSICIAN," Merlin screamed. He ran for Gaius's room, ignoring the shouts from the other knights. If the clanking of their armor was of any indication, they were either chasing him, or a fight had broken out. Either way, he didn't care. How could Arthur say such a thing?

 _No, how could I be so stupid to believe he thought any differently_ , he scolded himself.

"Watch where you're going!"

Merlin froze, mere seconds from running headfirst into Uther. Even though he hadn't done anything, the king's ominous look was worse than anything Arthur had ever thrown at him.

 _I would have been sent to the dungeon for sure_.

"S, Sorry King Uther. Gaius needs my help immediately to help with a medicine and—"

"Just get out of my sight," Uther grumbled, shoving Merlin to the side. "Should have just gotten Arthur a dog," he sighed as he walked past.

 _Please do! Then I won't have to deal with you or your ungrateful son!_ He started running again making sure to keep his head up, so he didn't almost crash into anyone this time. When he made it to Gaius's room, he slammed the door shut, tears running down his face.

"I hope there's a poisoned cup somewhere at dinner tonight and I am not drinking it for Arthur this time!"

Gaius stared at Merlin from the ladder he was standing on. He climbed down and walked towards the table just as Merlin collapsed into his usual chair and groaned. "What happened," he asked gently.

"I'm such a fool! I accidentally dropped Arthur's breakfast on him this morning and I laughed." Gaius raised an eyebrow at that. "I thought...I thought we were close enough for it not to be that big an issue, but I went too far." He wiped some tears away before giving up and dropping his head into his hands. "He's been angry with me all day and now he says I can't spend any time with the knights, because they outrank me!"

"Well, he's not wrong. They do outrank you," Gaius said.

"That's beside the point! Uther said he should have given Arthur a dog!"

"Well, a dog—"

"You're not helping! Where do I even stand on this ranking scale!?"

"Well," Gaius said sitting down. "First there's King Uther, then Prince Arthur. Then all the nobles in Uther's council, followed by all other nobles. Then there's the scholarly staff, Geoffrey, and myself. The commoners, the lepers, the dead, the other servants, and then there's you."

Merlin slowly turned his head, his face one of pure shock. "I have to die to obtain a higher rank!?"

"I'm afraid so." He patted Merlin on the arm. "There, there. It's not so bad."

"You don't have to catch an incurable disease to talk with Lancelot! What about the me that's part of the prophecy!?"

"I think that might actually lower your current ranking status considering we're in Camelot," Gaius said, frowning.

Merlin let out a frustrated growl and slumped back in his chair. "I mean it Gaius. I knew Arthur would never openly call me his friend, but…." He'd thought they were friends all the same. After everything, he'd done for that ungrateful jerk! After all they'd been through, he'd been so sure they were secretly friends, but Huon had been right. He was no more Arthur's friend than the trees outside of the castle were.

He gave his head a firm shake. "You know what? I'm not helping that prat right now, so I am a commoner, so ha! The jokes on him! I can go wherever I want."

"You were going to go anyway," Gaius said, smiling at him. "But first let's have some dinner."

"Can I have a pain killer first," he asked, giving Gaius his best pleading look.

"I'm afraid my medicine helps with physical pain, not emotional."

"Arthur threw me this morning, and I landed wrong. My back has been hurting since," he said, keeping his voice quiet. He doubted anyone would overhear them, but the knights had a knack for showing up just as Merlin was blurting out something he wanted no one else to know about.

Gaius looked somewhat alarmed. "Are you okay?"

"It was my own fault," he sighed. "My laughing got out of hand and…"

Thankfully, Gaius didn't push the issue. He went to his shelf of vials and began rummaging through them while Merlin got up to find the items they'd need to make dinner.

"Here," he handed Merlin a vial with brown liquid in it. "I'll make some more after dinner just in case. Just try to be more careful, Merlin."

"I will.” He removed the top and poured the contents of it into his mouth, wincing. "Ugh! This stuff is awful." He set the vial down and rushed to find some water.

They worked together after that, Merlin cutting the vegetables and Gaius cooking them. Merlin set the table, and they ate their dinner of bread and soup in silence. When they finished, they cleaned up so Gaius could get back to work.

"Oh, Merlin? The seamstress will be closed today before you can get there, try, and make it tomorrow. It's already getting chilly out and I don't want you catching phenomena when it starts to really get cold."

"Sure," he said, doing his best to look away before Gaius could look him in the eyes.

"Merlin…." He said, his voice full of suspicion.

A knock on the door spared Merlin a lengthy lecturing. Grinning, he ran and opened it. "Lancelot!"

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone for the wonderful comments and favorites, kudos, etc. I’m so glad everyone is enjoying the story so far as much as I am. It really is nice to just kind of go wild sometimes and write whatever you want.  
> Warning: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay. Arthur/Merlin Merlin/Arthur.  
> Minor Warning: I’m returning to work, so updates will probably be a little crazy.  
> Notes: (X) pov change and or time jump  
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Merlin series

"I'm so sorry about earlier. Had I known Prince Arthur was in such a mood, I would have never brought up the tavern in front of him." He looked crestfallen, which only made Merlin feel more guilty.

"It's not your fault. I tried to warn you I did something really stupid this morning," Merlin said. He couldn't let Lancelot take the blame for this. Arthur had been acting like an idiot and about half of the reasons for that was on Merlin, not Lancelot.

"Yes, but I didn't know it was that bad," he said, shaking his head.

"Way worse than whatever you're thinking," Merlin said. "But if I tell anyone, he'll kill me for sure. Besides, I wouldn't want to further tarnish his _majesty's_ reputation," he said, rolling his eyes. If Arthur didn't want to be friends, or even decent to each other, fine. He was more than capable of being a jerk right back.

"Ouch, you two are really on the outs," Lancelot said, grimacing.

"Watch after him Lancelot," Gaius called out to them from within the room.

Lancelot poked his head through the door and gave Gaius one of his prized full teeth smiles. "Don't worry, Gareth and Gwaine are already waiting for us."

"Good. This one is in rare form today," Gaius snorted. "Stay out of trouble, Merlin."

"I don't think I could possibly get into any more trouble than I already have today," he muttered and stepped back into the room. "But I make no promises," he added, grinning. Gaius rolled his eyes, returning Merlin's smile. "I'll see you later!" He ducked out the door and closed it before Gaius could add any other warnings or remarks. He enjoyed Gaius's and his banter and knew that Gaius cared for him. And even better, Gaius was the one person Arthur couldn't tell him to stop associating with, because Merlin was his apprentice. But if he started joking with Gaius now, they'd never get to the tavern or finish Gwen's necklace. "He drives me crazy," he shouted, walking with Lancelot down the steps. "So how bad was it," he whispered. "After I left." They passed the guard, Merlin waving. The guard nodded at him in return.

"He flipped Percival flat onto his back. Gareth was restrained by two guards while Prince Arthur held his sword to his throat. Gwaine has a black eye."

"Oh," Merlin said, his shoulders slumping. He knew it had to be bad, but he hadn't expected it to be war zone bad. "I'll apologize to everyone once we get to the tavern. And I'm sorry, Lancelot. He should calm down in a few days. I'll work extra hard tomorrow morning to make sure everything goes perfect. He won't have a single thing to get angry about!" Lancelot nodded, his eyes not meeting Merlin's. "What?" He didn't like it when Lancelot refused to look at him. It always meant something bad. "Lancelot."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I overheard Arthur tell another servant to wake him up tomorrow."

"Oh…. oh," he said, his face darkening as the words set in. "I've been replaced," he choked. One really bad screw up, okay he'd screwed up bad plenty of times, it's why Huon and he had become such "best friends" in the last three weeks, but never enough to make Arthur replace him! "I knew I screwed up, but I didn't think that badly!"

Why had he even bothered taking lessons from Huon?! Where had any of it gotten him? He'd lasted two years in Arthur's service without getting replaced before Huon had barged into his life. The man had driven him to sleepless nights, forced him to do impossible tasks that were clearly slavery, and had resulted in large blisters on both his knees and arms. He had belittled Merlin so much during the first week alone, that he'd started to question whether or not he was good enough to sweep the stables out. The only reason Merlin hadn't jumped from the castle roof was thanks to Gaius cornering him in the tower and dragging him down to the lowest parts of the dungeon where he was forced to listen to Kilgharrah on repeat talking about the prophecy. The words had haunted his dreams for days, but it had restored some of his self-confidence.

"Well, on the bright side, you can focus on being Gaius's apprentice now," Lancelot said. "That has to be more… helpful considering your expertise."

"Y, yeah, You're right. But that doesn't help with other things when it comes to Arthur or any of the knights." How was he supposed to stay close enough to Arthur to keep him safe if he wasn't his personal servant anymore? Arthur would be dead within the week without his protection.

"What does it change? Bringing a physician with us on trips makes just as much sense as bringing a servant, more actually." He grasped Merlin's shoulder and squeezed it. "But surely as long as Arthur didn't find _that_ out, he'll come around."

"You're right.” He knew Lancelot was just trying to make him feel better. But he'd caused enough problems today already for everyone. He did however need to find a way to keep Arthur safe inside the castle. The idiot got attacked more inside his own home than he did on missions outside the city gates. He'd just have to find a way, but he could do that later, after he finished helping Lancelot. "Let's go finish Gwen's gift."

"Are you sure you're up for it?"

"It'll be a good distraction." Which he was in desperate need of now.

The bright light from inside the tavern brought a smile to his face.

"MERLIN," everyone inside the tavern who noticed him enter cheered. At least the people of Camelot still liked him.

"Merlin!" A tall woman with brown hair rushed up to him, her eyes wide. It took him a second to recognize Maida since she wasn't wearing her servant's attire and she'd pulled her long brown hair up to the side. "What happened? Belden came rushing in right before we started making dinner going on about Prince Arthur choosing him as his personal servant for the week!"

"Well—" Merlin started.

"That can't possibly be true, is it? Not that Belden is a liar, but Prince Arthur's never…" She gave him an anxious look.

"Hush it, Maida," Tyne said. He was the servant in charge of the castle's private garden. "Belden's no liar and we all knew Merlin was going to get thrown out eventually, no offense, Merlin. You're a hell of a good apprentice to Gaius and you're a hard worker, but you're no servant," he laughed.

"Tyne," Maida scolded. "You're just mad Prince Arthur didn't replace him three months into the first year." She turned to Merlin and winked at him. "That was his bet for how long you'd last as the prince's personal servant."

Tyne scoffed at that, shaking his mug at Maida. "I had a full year and you know it."

"Belden looked so happy though," Hazel said, walking towards them. She oversaw drying the laundry for the nobles. "What did you do, Merlin? Do you think Belden might be taking over your position permanently?"

"Only if I'm lucky," he said, closing his eyes, counting to ten, and letting out a breath. Leave it to the other servants to know all the gossip. "If anyone sees Belden warn him that Prince Arthur hasn't had much sleep lately and even the smallest mistakes are making him mad."

"I'll let him know," Maida said. "He lives close to me."

"Good. I'd hate for him to get screamed at his first day." And Merlin meant that. He was mad and frustrated with Arthur, but what good would Belden getting yelled at do? He'd been replaced, but on Arthur's orders, not because Belden had gone behind Merlin's back or sabotaged him in some way. Belden was a good person, probably a better servant compared to Merlin, and young enough to listen to Arthur's every command without a second thought. Besides, he liked the boy and If there was a way Belden could avoid certain doom, Merlin was willing to help.

"Kid probably wouldn't mind," Tyne snorted. "That grin on his face earlier and the way he was talking? He thinks he's inherited a ton of gold."

"You shush, being Prince Arthur's personal servant is an honor," Hazel said. The three servants exchanged a look with Merlin, all four of them bursting into laughter.

"If he has any questions, have him stop by Gaius's tower before attempting the royal wake up call," Merlin grinned. The least he could do was offer Belden advice.

"Noted," Maida said, throwing her arms around Merlin's neck. "You're such a nice guy."

"No kidding. I wouldn't be offering any help to the kid trying to steal my job," Tyne said.

"I've offered all of you my job at least twice," Merlin said. "No one wanted it after they found out they had to drink poison."

They shared another laugh, even Lancelot joining in.

"Well, isn't this a wonderful sight? Maida, I believe I've warned you a few times not to touch Merlin?" Gareth stepped into view, smirking at Maida and Merlin, his eyes filled with dangerous amusement.

"I'm sure he prefers Maida to you," Lancelot said.

"That's not my problem." He peeled Maida's arms off Merlin with ease, despite her attempts at holding onto him tighter.

"One day I'll win him from yeah," she said, grinning. "You'll be getting married, eventually. Lady Elizabeth won't have it any other way." She dropped her left hand onto one hip and lifted her right hand in front of Gareth's nose and waggled her index finger at him.

"Lady Elizabeth has already granted me permission to keep Merlin as my mistress." He winked at her and wrapped his arm tightly around Merlin's waist.

Merlin knew that wasn't true but couldn't help laughing all the same. Lady Elizabeth would never allow Gareth to have a mistress, especially not Merlin.

"Alright! Keep him," she laughed. "Maybe next time Merlin."

"Maybe! Don't forget to warn Belden," Merlin called out to her as Gareth dragged him towards the back-corner table. Gwaine and Percival were already there, mugs in front of them. "Oh, that poor child," Merlin sighed.

"Oh, and what about me," Gareth asked, raising an eyebrow. "I ended up restrained and with a sword pointed at me for defending your honor."

"Lancelot told me. I'm so sorry." Gareth pulled a chair out and pushed Merlin into it before pushing the chair in so he couldn't run. "I'm sorry to all of you," Merlin said. "You should have just stayed out of it—"

"The knights of Camelot are no cowards," Gwaine said, eyeing Merlin.

"Most of us anyway," Percival grinned.

"That better not had been directed at me," Lancelot said. He sat down on Merlin's left side. "I did plenty after we took Prince Arthur to the ground."

Gareth slipped into the chair on Merlin's right. "Prince Arthur was acting foolishly."

"Agreed," Percival said.

"I know, but it was my fault," Merlin said.

"When isn't it your fault," Gwaine asked, grinning at him from across the table.

"Point taken," Merlin said, returning the smile. "I'm still sorry. It shouldn't happen again, Arthur's replaced me—"

"What," Gareth screamed.

"You're joking," Gwaine shouted.

"For the week," Lancelot added.

"That doesn't—" Gareth started.

"Wait, wait," Gwaine said, putting his mug down. Everyone at the table went silent and looked at him. "That means Merlin is free to be one of our personal servants!"

All four knights turned their gazes, full of hunger, on Merlin.

"No," Merlin breathed. "No!" He couldn't just go from being Arthur's servant to one of the other knights' servant. Sure, all of them would probably treat him better than Arthur ever had, but it was the principal of it. Besides, he'd never wanted to be a servant in the first place.

"We could each have him for a day," Gareth said, a dreamy look coming over him. "He can choose who he wants to stay with at the end of the week!"

"I'm not choosing between any of you!"

"We can just rotate him." Percival said.

"I don't need to be anyone's servant! I'm Gaius's apprentice. If Arthur wants to replace me, fine. Now, let's finish this necklace." Lancelot removed the velvet pouch from his pocket and handed it to Merlin. "Thank you." He could feel their eyes watching his every move now.

**(X)**

_Why did I do that,_ Arthur asked himself. He'd allowed his temper to flare horribly today and as a result, he'd screamed at everyone. Not that Merlin didn't deserve it after dropping his breakfast on him. He'd regretted the words, especially after noticing Merlin's constant hesitation around him. There was a fear in his servant's eyes now whenever he managed to catch his gaze, ever since he'd thrown him. The guilt he felt from that look cut him in a way a sword never could.

The odd thing was, Merlin had been joking with him until he'd left for breakfast, so what had happened between the time he'd left his chambers and when he'd joined them outside? It didn't make sense. Or had it been him? Merlin hadn't exactly been doing anything wrong, not that he ever did much right, while he'd led the training session. Arthur hadn't felt any anger towards him until…

Lancelot had come along suggesting another night at the tavern.

 _To work on a gift for Gwen_ , he reminded himself. And then Lancelot had called Merlin his friend and so had Gareth and Gwaine, and Percival. Why should they be able to call Merlin their friend in public when he could not? Or was that just something he thought? The word friend had passed their lips so easily that afternoon while Arthur still struggled to even think it.

Regardless, he needed to apologize to Merlin for throwing him because he wasn't just some servant; he was his servant and this entire scenario was driving him mad. He hadn't even realized how protective the knights were of Merlin until that afternoon when all four of the present knights had tackled him.

_Just knock on the door and tell him. We can put all of this behind us._

"Okay," he let out a breath and stared at the door. "Any moment." Somehow knocking on Gaius's door, a door in his own castle, was scarier than fighting the Griffin he'd known he couldn't harm without magic. "Right, just open the door." His arm would still not move.

But the door did.

"Prince Arthur, while I am aware this is your castle and you're free to do as you please, it's quite distracting having you talk to my door," Gaius said.

"Um, yes, I'm...Is Merlin in his room then?" His eyes immediately went to the door that so often hid his servant. He'd only been inside a handful of times, usually just long enough to drag Merlin out. It was small and had probably originally been meant to be a closet and yet Merlin not only didn't complain about the cramped space, he often defended it as cozy to Arthur. Perhaps that "coziness" would help them talk rationally.

"Merlin's at the tavern."

"Are you joking!? I—!" No, he hadn't forbidden, Merlin to go until after he'd finished helping Lancelot with Gwen's gift. He let out a controlled breath, his body slumping against the door frame.

"Prince Arthur, do you want my advice?"

He nodded dully. Gaius was often the one with the most knowledge and remained calm even when hell danced in their courtyard. He admired the doctor for that and tried to emulate him when he could, but it was much harder than it looked.

"Come inside and let me give you something for the pain. Then go straight to the tavern and join your knights," he said. "You can only rule so well with fear. Fear causes hatred, anger, anxiety. It's why we have so many sorcerers knocking on our kingdom's door." He went over to the small table pushed against the wall. Several vials were sitting on it. "Come on. I already have a fresh one made that'll do you some good."

"Thank you." It was just like Gaius to know he was feeling sore without him saying so. He made his way to the table and took the vial Gaius handed him. He gulped it, surprised that it only had a hint of an earthy taste rather than the full-on sense attack Gaius's medicines usually had.

"Sorry if it tastes strange my lord, it's the only way I can get Merlin to drink it without having to threaten him."

Arthur frowned and set the empty vial back on the table. _Gaius said this was freshly made._ "Is there a reason Merlin needs a pain elixir," he asked.

"Yes," Gaius said without going into any detail. "I won't make you leave, but I have to make some more now, so I won't be much of a conversationalist." He started pulling out herbs and other ingredients from small individual bowls.

"... Did Merlin tell you what happened?"

"He did."

"...and you still believe I should go to the tavern?"

"I do. It is up to you prince Arthur to decide who you want your friends to be. True friends who are loyal, who are willing to risk everything for you, those are rare to have."

"Yes…" He'd been so stupid. How could he have let his anger get the better of him like that? No one had deserved a fraction of what he'd said or done today.

"Arthur." He looked up, surprised that Gaius had called him without his title. It had been years since he'd done that. "Merlin is as miserable as you are not knowing where he stands. And if I may offer one more piece of advice." He turned away from his ingredients and looked at him. "You're the prince of Camelot. If someone has a problem with the friends you keep, have them thrown into the dungeon."

Somehow, despite all the tangled-up emotions he had at the moment, he felt his lips turn up into a smile.

Yes, he was the prince and to hell with everyone else. He may be the knights' prince and commander, Merlin might be his servant, but how could he trust any of them to remain those things or not turn on him if he didn't treat them well in return? A year ago, he'd run off to a cave by himself to find Merlin a cure for the poison that'd he'd drunk for Arthur. And each knight had proven themselves too many times to count. Even if they were below his status as his father put it, they were his friends. He knew that better than anyone. How could he have let his anger get so out of hand that he'd forgotten that?

"Thank you," he said again, scrambling to his feet. He would find Merlin in the tavern and somehow make things right. If his knights let him get near Merlin. The raw emotions of their attacks after Merlin had run off had been powerful and even worrisome.

He ran down the tower stairs, stepped out of the castle, and shivered. The white cloud that followed his exhale told him the colder seasons were just about here.

 _I'll have to tell Merlin to put the winter linens on my bed… if he doesn't kill himself trying,_ he thought, sighing. Merlin may be a good friend and the most loyal person he'd ever met, but he was not a good servant by any means.

"You'd think after the first year he'd have gotten the hang of it." He knew for a fact Merlin had mastered a long list of medicines and elixirs, not only what they treated, but the ingredients needed and how to make them. How could he memorize all of that, but fail to bring his breakfast in without dropping it onto him?

It was good luck the tavern wasn't far from the castle. He hadn't thought it'd be this cold already and hadn't brought a cloak with. Granted, he hadn't even known he'd be leaving the castle in the first place. He'd thought Merlin would be tucked away in his room in bed reading a book. Or in his room pouting. Just preferably in his room, so of course, he hadn't been.

The light inside the tavern flooded out into the street. He followed it in, squinting at the sudden assault of light and laughter. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust before he spotted Merlin in the back with all the knights sitting around him. All of them were smiling, Gwaine was laughing. Merlin's back was to him, so he couldn't see his expression, but he hoped his servant was having just as much fun.

 _You can do this._ He picked his way through the crowd, doing his best not to draw attention to himself. The last thing he wanted was to get stopped. If he didn't do this now, he might not have the courage to do it later.

Gwaine and Percival noticed him first, both giving him weary looks. Gwaine had a black eye from where Arthur had accidentally elbowed him after their surprise attack. Gareth turned, his face remaining impassive, but Arthur knew he was just as mad as the others, probably more so.

He held his hands up so no one could accuse him of trying to pull a sword out on them. "I came to apologize," he said. Lancelot turned, just seemingly now aware that their group was being invaded and Merlin actually jumped before he froze altogether. "The way I've been acting today is unforgivable, I know. I treated all of you unfairly. I wasn't acting as a prince should. I was out of hand. You are my brothers and closest friends. I'm not sure what caused it, but I'm truly sorry." He bowed his head to them.

The knights murmured to one another, shared some quick whispers, and then nods all around.

"Okay, you are forgiven my lord," Gwaine said.

Arthur let out a breath and raised his head. That was good. The one person he really wanted to hear from though hadn't said a word and who could blame him? He'd treated Merlin the worst, and he still wasn't completely sure why. He kept thinking it had something to do with statuses, reputations, and things of that nature, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that wasn't right. There was something else to it, but he couldn't figure out what.

"You forgive me as well, Merlin," he asked. He sounded pathetic, his voice shaking.

Merlin gave a small nod but didn't turn to him. Instead, he hunched further down over the table.

"Merlin, if you haven't I nee—"

"Finished," Merlin screamed, his voice full of delight. "Gwen is going to love this."

There was a round of awes from the knights.

"It's beautiful, Merlin. Not nearly as beautiful as your eyes, but I agree. Gwen will love it," Gareth said. He dropped his hand onto Merlin's.

"Gareth," Merlin said, laughing. "Lady Elizabeth will hang me if you keep flirting with me. I already had to promise her we weren't sneaking around her back."

"I'd hate to see what you two would be like if you weren't sneaking," Gwaine added.

It took Arthur a few heartbeats, his breathing almost coming to a complete stop, before realizing they were joking and to remember that Gareth was still in the same relationship he'd been in for the last three years and eventually would marry the woman.

_Why did my heart stop?_

"Are you okay, my lord," Percival asked. "You've gone quite pale."

"I'm fine," he said, shaking his head. "I think it was just a reaction to the medicine I received from Gaius." He grabbed a chair from a nearby table and pulled it over to sit next to Lancelot. "That is pretty," he muttered now that he could see the necklace. The gold metalwork had been shaped into the image of a flowe, a purple stone set in the very middle of it. "Is that a waterlily?"

"It is," Merlin said proudly. He handed the necklace to Lancelot, who slipped it into a velvet pouch.

Merlin looked so proud of the finished necklace and there was no doubt Gwen would go crazy for it on Sweets day.

Perhaps if he showed Merlin, he trusted him, their friendship could mend faster.

"Do you think you could make a necklace like that for Morgana for Sweets day?"

**(X)**

Had he heard Arthur, right? He wanted Merlin, the servant he didn't trust to dress him, the servant he'd just berated a few hours ago, who told him he had no friends and would he never take Merlin on as the court physician. He wanted _that_ Merlin to make Morgana a necklace?

"I suppose," Merlin said. "You'll need to pick out a different flower." Perhaps if he showed Arthur, he could do something right, they could remain on talking terms.

"An Orchid. It's her favorite."

 _Of course, he knows her favorite flower_ ; he thought, mentally sighing. Arthur acted like he didn't care much for Morgana, but they were likely to wed if King Uther had anything to say about it. Well, it didn't concern him. He was no longer Arthur's servant, at least for a week, possibly ever if Belden did well enough. He wouldn't have to see Morgana and Arthur marry. "... You'll have to let me work with Lancelot." He needed Lancelot's help working the gold into the designs he came up with.

"Sure."

Merlin looked at him, surprised. That had been much easier than he'd thought. "Gwaine, can you get more jewels?"

"Anything for you Merlin," the knight said, raising his mug to Merlin.

"We'll need more gold wire for the flower and the chain," Merlin said, looking at Lancelot.

"Consider it done."

"Alright then." That had gone well. They hadn't been entirely sure how long it'd take them to finish, but with some hard work, and of course a bit of magic, the necklace was done. "I didn't get much sleep last night, and it's been a rather tiring day, so I'll be going. We can start Morgana's necklace tomorrow." He pushed his chair out from under the table.

There was a round of boos and other dissatisfied noises, but Merlin couldn't help it. He needed sleep and time to think. He'd make Morgana the best necklace he could for Arthur's sake. He already had an idea, but it'd take a bit more gold wire and time than Gwen's. If Lancelot and he worked hard, and in private so Merlin could use his magic for most of it, they could get it done in time.

"Do you want me to walk you home," Gareth asked, smiling.

"No thanks, I can make it." He stood up and forced a smile as he went through the normal rounds of goodbyes and goodnights, which included not only the knights but just about everything sitting in the tavern as he tried to make it to the door. It was nice that, so many people enjoyed his company and missed him when he left. He wasn't entirely sure what to say to Arthur, so he just muttered a quick "goodbye my lord." Before leaving the table.

He stepped out the door, jumping at the sudden onslaught of cold.

"Merlin!"

Merlin sighed, recognizing the voice immediately as Arthur's. He'd never known until he'd met Arthur, that there were so many ways to say his name. Right now, he was saying it with slight annoyance, and hint of determination, which usually meant he wanted Merlin to stop everything and listen to him.

"Right here," he said, waving his hand. How the temperature had dropped so much within an hour or so he didn't know. He wrapped his arms around his body and without waiting to see if Arthur had somehow missed him or not, started walking towards the castle.

"Ugh, Merlin, I said I was sorry, stop walking away!" He jogged after Merlin to close the small distance between them.

"I'm not walking away from you. I'm walking away from the cold." He picked up his pace, wanting to get back inside the castle as soon as possible and hide in his bed. Maybe he could convince Gaius to light a fire. No, he was going to make his own fire in his room.

"When we separated this morning, I thought we were on good terms."

"Oh." It hadn't felt like good terms, not bad, but not good. He'd thought things might go back to normal, but than Arthur had lost his mind after training. "So why did you say all those things after practice?" Those words had hurt more than anything Arthur had said that morning. More than the slight pain in his back from when Arthur had thrown him down and he'd landed on his arse like a fool.

"I'm not sure," he said. "I just didn't think it was right for my servant to be going to the tavern with my knights." He frowned, shaking his head. "No…that's not quite right…It just bothered me." He let out a sigh and held his hand out. "Friends?" Merlin studied Arthur's hand before shaking his head and walking again towards the castle. "Why not!? I apologized, what else do you want from me," he demanded.

Merlin glanced back at him. "I'm not taking my hands out from beneath my arms until I'm in a castle. Why did it get so cold all of a sudden?" He wished now he'd gotten the winter clothes from the seamstress, but some things just weren't meant to be.

"Where are your winter clothes?"

"The seamstress." The truth was, he'd stopped on his way to pay the seamstress for the clothes Gaius and Gareth had picked out for him and found the town's baker's daughter, Kaelyn sitting by some food stalls with tears in her eyes. He'd asked what was wrong and she'd explained to him that her father was sick with a nasty cold and they'd spent all their money on medicine for him. Merlin had caved instantly. He'd given Kaelyn his pouch full of coins that he'd put to the side to pay for the winter clothes. It wasn't like he went out often or anything and he would have never forgiven himself if Kaelyn or anyone in her family starved to death.

"Well, make sure you pick them up tomorrow," Arthur said. "You're useless to me sick."

"I thought I was useless in general," he said, raising an eyebrow at Arthur.

"You know what I meant," Arthur snapped.

"Yes, and I know what I meant," Merlin said, smiling.

Arthur let out a growl as they ran down the street. They'd done it plenty of times before, but it always made Merlin happy. He was able to pretend that Arthur was chasing after him, really chasing after him. That Arthur cared for him and wanted to catch him so he could kiss him.

 _Stop it. Those are alone thoughts,_ he chided himself. He tried hard not to let thoughts like that run through his mind when Arthur was paying attention to him. When he was alone or Arthur focused on some other task, his mind was allowed to skip and sing, dance, leave Uther in the dungeon so he could kidnap Arthur and spend a weekend convincing the prince he was worth courting or any other flight of fancy.

A laugh burst from his mouth at that. Merlin wasn't fit to be courted by a bird, let alone Arthur. A fool's dream, but he could dream, and no one could stop that.

"What's so funny," Arthur asked, his tone full of warning.

"Dreams," Merlin answered, honestly.

"You had a funny dream?"

Merlin hadn't noticed he'd slowed down as they entered the castle. Relief filled him as the stone walls blocked out the wind. Arthur settled in beside him as they walked.

"An impossible dream," Merlin said. "So impossible, it's funny." Only it wasn't funny at all. It was something he wanted so badly but knew it would never happen. Even if the world lost its mind, and he ended up in an alternate dimension, Arthur would still be the prince and eventual king of Camelot. The future greatest king. Merlin would always be just another one of Arthur's shields. "Well, this is me," Merlin said motioning to the stairway. He started up them, his bed screaming for him.

**(TBC)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, definitely better than chapter 2 at least. Sorry if my stories aren’t that great lately, returning to work has brought on a lot of stress, even if I’m not doing much yet. It’s just a matter of getting a new flow going.  
> Warnings: This story is slash, gay, shounen-ai, whatever you want to call it. Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin.  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Okay, definitely better than chapter 2 at least. Sorry if my stories aren't that great lately, returning to work has brought on a lot of stress, even if I'm not doing much yet. It's just a matter of getting a new flow going.

Warnings: This story is slash, gay, shounen-ai, whatever you want to call it. Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin.

Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 3

"Merlin."

 _Don't do it…_ He repeated the sentence in his mind a few times, but despite all the madness, all the frustration that Arthur caused in his life, he wanted his praise. He wanted Arthur to acknowledge him, not just as his servant, but as his friend. Okay, what he really wanted was for Arthur to lose his mind and throw him against the wall declaring his undying love for him, while they made out. He wanted the prince to realize he'd saved his sorry arse more times than he could count on his own. That Merlin was his number one savior and deserved all his attention, to hell with Camelot, with Albion, to any other thing that could possibly get in the way and cause Arthur to regain his sanity and shove Merlin into the nearest fireplace.

The reality, he stopped and turned, hoping Arthur wasn't about to ask him to do some long and tedious task that would keep him up most of the night because if he didn't get some sleep soon and put this day behind him, he might accidentally burn the castle down trying to adjust Arthur's boot straps. "Yes?"

"Bring up the winter linens tomorrow morning."

"Oh, I did that this morning," he said, glad he'd thought ahead for once.

"You," Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow. "You remembered to do something _useful_ related to your _actual_ job?"

Merlin could have done without the complete disbelief. Besides, his _actual_ job was protecting Arthur and he was great at that. It wasn't his fault Arthur kept getting himself into the most insane situations that often took up all his time and energy and thus caused pitiful results in his other job. The prince should be grateful he even went beyond his main job of protecting him to do the basic duties of making sure his room stayed clean or that his food remained on trays. Most servants would have run off to find a guard at the first sign of trouble. And given what kind of trouble the dear Prince of Camelot always got into, by the time they got back, Arthur would be dead. Truly, it seemed like Arthur's life was on the line at least once a week, and always magic related. Merlin had begun to wonder if there was a "please kill me" sign following Arthur around and only visible with the proper spell. He'd yet to find either, but he often tried when the kingdom wasn't trying to fall down around them.

Not that Arthur knew any of this. Probably for the best.

"I did. I even sealed all the extra holes in the room so the cold would stay out," he said, pleased. _It's why I had to endure a day of back pain._ But at least Arthur wouldn't freeze to death in his chambers or get sick.

"I didn't know you had it in you!"

"Me either," Merlin muttered. "But I have the week off, best to go into a holiday with everything in order," Merlin said. He couldn't stop his eyes from slanting in amusement when Arthur paled. "You were ratted out, my lord. Everyone is talking about how lucky Belden is to be your servant for the week. So, remember, if you need more blankets, I'm afraid you'll have to ask your servant." He started back up the stairs fast. Yes, he hated that Belden would be taking his place for the week, but when was the last time he'd gotten a day off? He could only remember a single day and that was the day after he'd been poisoned.

"MERLIN!"

He could hear Arthur's boots slapping the stone stairs behind him and he laughed. He dashed into Gaius's tower, shut the door, and took a few steps back, the grin never leaving his face.

"Merlin, what are you—" Gaius started.

"Merlin!"

"Why did I ask," Gaius said, sighing deeply. "You're going to get us both hung one day." He grabbed a vial and handed it to Merlin. "Drink that."

"You already told Belden, my lord, surely you aren't so heartless you'd take his day to shine away!" He downed the vial in a single gulp, happy that Gaius had mixed in the honey, and set it onto the table. "Thanks Gaius."

"Why must you tease him," Gaius asked taking the empty bottle and placing it into the basket with the other dirty vials so they could wash them later.

"I have to get something out of this prophecy deal." He lowered his voice and added, "besides just getting to see his firm arse every day."

Gaius sighed again, but he was smiling as he grabbed a few leaves and began shredding them.

"I'm going to break this door down!"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Always the dramatics with you, my lord. Why can't you just open it like a _normal_ person? It's not locked."

A moment of silence fell before the door swung open. Arthur stood in the doorway frozen, his hand still out.

"See," Merlin said.

Arthur glared at him, his arm falling back to his side as he walked in. "Do you realize how tired I am, because of you? How stressed out I've been!?"

_Yes, because you don't cause me any stress at all._

"No one told you to wait for me last night. I still don't understand why you did." Merlin waited for an answer, but Arthur remained silent. Well, if Arthur wasn't going to answer, he wasn't going to stand around trying to read the prince's mind. "I for one am going to enjoy my sudden week off."

Arthur's head snapped towards Merlin; his eyes narrowed. "I didn't give you the week off!"

"Fine, I'll enjoy my one day off and for once, I'll get to sleep in."

"I didn't mention Belden because I still expected you to come," Arthur shouted, his face red.

"Why? So, I could watch someone do my job properly? If you're so dissatisfied with my work, get the dog."

The look of confusion that crossed Arthur's face was too much. Once again, against all common sense and warning, Merlin started laughing. He watched Arthur to make sure there was no repeat of this morning and made sure to keep the table in between them just in case.

"What dog," Arthur asked when he seemed to have calmed down.

"The one your father wished he'd gotten you instead of me." His face was beginning to hurt from all the smiling and laughing he'd done throughout the day. "Now I'm really going to bed. Goodnight Gaius. Stay warm, Arthur." He climbed the second set of stairs that led to his bedroom, another laugh escaping as the look on Arthur's face flashed in his mind. "Oh. I need to stop, or Gaius's warning will come true and I'll be hung." The words made him giggle.

He went to his wardrobe and pulled out his nightshirt. It looked horribly thin, and it really was getting cold outside. He glanced around the room, more out of habit than anything, and raised his hand. He said the words he'd repeated for over an hour in Arthur's room until the spell had taken hold. A rush of warm air filled the room.

_Much better._

The door opened.

"I wasn't done with—"

"HUH!?" Merlin turned too fast. His foot came down on one of the many books cluttering his floor and for the second time that day, he found himself on the floor, and on his bottom, his nightshirt clutched to his chest.

"It's really warm in here," Arthur said, sounding surprised and ignoring Merlin on the floor. He walked into the room and shut the door. "Is this how warm a room feels sealed up?"

Merlin nodded, his pride and feelings of victory over Arthur broken.

"I haven't been in here for a while. I see you haven't cleaned it since either. A miracle you get mine looking halfway decent." He made a slow tour around the room.

"I'm too tired to clean up my room after I spend all day cleaning yours," Merlin protested. _Not to mention thwarting all the plots against Camelot._ He sat up just enough so he could scoot back and lean against the nice warm wall. _So glad I used a warming spell._ The heat on his back was a blessing.

Arthur plopped down on his bed.

"Why is your mattress more comfortable than mine?" he asked, making a face. "What kind is this," he demanded.

"Just the normal sheep's wool and hay," he lied. With a spell that turned it into the most comfortable sleeping arrangement possible.

"Who did you buy it from?"

"I didn't. It was here when I arrived," Merlin said. Which was true.

"That's not fair. Why does the servant have a better mattress than the prince?" Arthur truly looked disturbed and saddened by this. Leave it to Arthur to get jealous over a mattress.

"You're just tired, so it feels more comfortable than usual. Really, it's a horrible thing to sleep on." He'd found the spell a few months back. Like the warming spell, it had fast become one of his favorites. He'd enchanted Gaius's mattress too.

"Maybe" Arthur yawned. He kicked his boots off and stretched out on the bed completely, Merlin watching. "No, this mattress is definitely better. A shame it's so small."

"Well, I wanted the bigger size, but it wouldn't fit through the door." He leaned over and grabbed the closet book, so he wasn't focused on Arthur lying in his bed and how much he wanted to be right beside him.

"I thought you were going to sleep," Arthur said.

Merlin stared at him. Sometimes Arthur's mental capabilities worried him. "There's a prat of a prince in my bed."

"Merlin?" His voice was quiet and if Merlin were right, as close to pleading as Arthur would ever get. It made him uneasy.

"Yeah?"

"We are okay, right?" He flipped onto his side so he could look at Merlin. "You aren't holding a grudge against me or anything?"

Merlin tilted his head slightly, surprised at what he was hearing, more surprised at what he was seeing. Arthur had dropped all his usual facial shields. _That isn't fair!_ How could he keep up his farce with Arthur looking so damn cute stretched out in his bed? Arthur deserved to be thrown in the dungeon for this.

"No. Are you?" He watched Arthur. How in the world had this happened? Prince's didn't stalk the servant they'd disowned a few hours prior and then steal their magically enhanced bed. But even if Arthur had stabbed him this morning, he wouldn't have been able to say no. Arthur may sometimes make him fearful, angry, ashamed of himself, but he also made Merlin feel alive and happy. Arthur gave his life purpose and enjoyment. "It was my fault and I shouldn't have laughed like I did, but it was just so funny." He set the book down, Arthur's beautiful blue eyes watching. "I am sorry I dropped a breakfast tray full of food on you. I'm not sure if you heard me apologize this morning in between my laughing fits."

"I overreacted. I don't know what came over me. I was so angry when I found out you were at the tavern last night and then I waited for you, but you never showed up. So, I went to bed angry." He sighed and flipped over onto his back. "And to be woken up like that. It doesn't excuse my behavior, but I never meant to hurt you."

"You didn't answer me, are you angry with me?" He needed to hear it from Arthur.

"I think we're even," Arthur muttered.

"Did you mean what you said earlier," Merlin asked, quietly.

"About what?"

"When you offered me your hand, you asked if we were friends."

"Oh...yeah. I guess I did."

"So... we're friends?"

"Mhmm…."

Merlin's heart leapt in his chest. Arthur had called him his friend! Not a servant or useless or any of the other fifty-plus insults they threw at each other every single day. He didn't need a warming spell to be warm right now. He'd never expected Arthur to ever claim their friendship verbally. Not that anyone could know they were friends, but he could tell Gaius. That meant everything Arthur had said earlier that day about the knights and him not being allowed to be their friends had just been him lashing out. "Good, because… " He could hear even breathing coming from the prince's mouth. "Of course, you'd fall asleep in my bed." He climbed to his feet and looked Arthur over grinning like the fool he was. He just looked so peaceful. Merlin always came to wake him up, but by the time he did, Arthur was coming out of his slumber. He leaned against the wall, watching him until he had every detail, every little movement down. He needed proper fodder for his daydreams and his nighttime dreams after all.

 _I do need to get to bed myself_ ; he sighed. Even if he did get to sleep in tomorrow morning, Lancelot and he had a new project to start and as Arthur's friend, he had to make sure that Morgana's necklace was breathtaking. They would make something so brilliant; it would stun Arthur and make him praise them.

 _In a moment._ After all, what if Arthur did something new that was so cute as he slept that Merlin would never forgive himself for missing it? He couldn't let that happen. But as another hour crept by, Merlin knew he needed to get some sleep. With one last longing look, he left his room.

"Merlin? I thought you were going to bed," Gaius said. He was sitting in a chair, his blanket wrapped around him. He set the book he'd been reading down. "And what did you do with Prince Arthur?"

"He stole my bed," Merlin pouted, as he came down the steps. "Fell asleep just as I was going to announce my undying love for him," he said, sighing dramatically and falling into a nearby chair. When he saw Gaius roll his eyes, he grinned at him. "What do you think of my Gareth impersonation?"

"I think you've been spending far too much time with that man and you'd be much better off if you didn't," Gaius scoffed.

"B, but Gareth promised to marry me," he sniffed.

"I will apologize to him later for making him a widower."

"Hey…! That's rather mean of you."

"Come on. Help me get one of the cots out."

"I'm probably the only servant who can claim that Arthur slept in my bed," he said with a smirk. He walked over to the left of the stairs to his room that they used for storage. Between the two of them, they managed to move an extra cot next to Gaius's bed.

"I wouldn't go around telling people that," Gaius warned him.

"I know," Merlin sighed. He sat down on the cot, and a flying blanket hit him in the face. "Hey!"

"Tomorrow make yourself useful and "seal up" the main room."

Merlin moved the blanket, his head poking out from beneath it. "Sure."

"And then go pick up your winter clothes before you freeze to death."

"Right." He lied down on the cot and wrapped himself up tightly in the blanket. It really was cold in here. "Maybe I can seal it tonight," he asked. "Or at least light a fire so we don't freeze to death?"

"With the prince this close?"

"He's fast asleep." And how he wished he were beside him on that bed, his head next to Arthur's, or even better, snuggled up to the prince as close as possible.

"Merlin, I know that look. You might as well stop," Gaius said. He was giving Merlin a look of pity that he didn't want.

"I know, but it's so hard!" He let out a happy sigh. "You wouldn't understand."

"I understand love Merlin, I'm not a statue. I just wish you'd direct that attention at someone you can have a relationship with."

Merlin made a face at that. He was going to be the greatest sorcerer, warlock, magic wielder to ever have existed. Surely that ranked his social status next to Arthur's. Of course, Arthur didn't know he was the strongest warlock ever to live and he couldn't know, because Uther would not only run a sword through him but burn him in the courtyard before he managed to bleed to death. And then there were the practical issues. He doubted Arthur, of all people, would even consider looking at another male as a courting partner, and being a noble, Uther would no doubt arrange a political marriage wherever the chance arose, and it would probably all happen long before Merlin acquired the title greatest sorcerer.

Yes, his feelings meant nothing where Arthur was concerned.

"Fine. While I'm free tomorrow morning, I will walk around the town and see if anyone catches my eye. Happy?"

"As long as it's not another noble. Keep it simple," Gaius said.

"So, my first question to anyone I meet shouldn't be their name, but what their social status is?"

"Couldn't hurt."

"You are impossible, Gaius," he said, snickering. "Goodnight." He pulled the blanket over his head.

"Goodnight Merlin."

**(X)**

For a second Arthur had no idea where he was. The room was too small, as was the bed. He was lucky he hadn't ended up on the floor. How could anyone sleep in such a small bed? It was comfortable, yes, but no one deserved such a small bed. It could hardly hold a child.

 _Right, I was talking to Merlin_ , he thought, yawning. He was still tired, but a tiny spark had ignited in him. He was in Merlin's bed. He was wrapped up in blankets that smelled of Merlin, had slept on his pillow, everything in the room seemed to be washed in Merlin's aura. Of which….

 _Where is Merlin?_ He slid off the bed, a quick look telling him that Merlin was not in the room, which was good, but disappointing. If Merlin had fallen asleep in the room, he could— _No! What am I thinking!?_

He walked to the door, trying to shake the images of lifting Merlin from the floor and laying him down in the bed from his mind. And then… _Stop it!_ His face burned, and he needed some water, or to take a walk, perhaps both. As quietly as he could, he opened the door and stepped out of the room.

Merlin was stretched out on a sleeping cot next to Gaius's bed. He was touched that Merlin had given up his bed for him, but also a little guilty. His servant had given up his extremely comfortable bed for one of the cots Gaius used for particularly sick patients just so he could remain asleep.

He stopped at the bottom of the steps; his eyes glued to Merlin's sleeping form. How could someone be so…

Well, Merlin was asleep already and if he opened the door that might wake Gaius or Merlin up which would be rather rude of him. There was no point in wasting a perfectly wonderful bed either. He practically ran back into Merlin's room, his mind made up. It was just lack of sleep, that's all. In the morning he'd be rested, and all these strange thoughts would be gone. With that in mind, he crawled beneath the covers.

**(X)**

"Ugh! The one day I could sleep in and I wake up earlier than usual," Merlin groaned. This had to be karma for dropping Arthur's breakfast yesterday. Now that it had been paid in full, maybe he could sleep until noon tomorrow. Maybe he could find a boyfriend while he was at it. He stared at the ceiling a moment, letting his mind calm down. He couldn't deny a part of him was excited at the thought of people watching. He would never find someone he cared about as much as he did Arthur and getting a boyfriend would only distract him from his real fulltime job of keeping the prince alive. But he needed someone in his life to direct his feelings on. If he continued to keep his emotions inside, he was going to go mad.

"Well, be glad. It's colder today than yesterday. You'll want to use this free time to go pick up your clothes," Gaius said.

"Yes, yes," Merlin yawned. He kept hoping Gaius would forget about the clothes because they were staying at the seamstress's shop and weren't going to be in the tower any time soon. He just hoped the weather would hold out until he could get the money. "Do you know if there's still a prat in my bed?" Not that either of them would have known if Arthur had left. Gaius's snoring could have allowed a dragon to stomp through the room and they'd have never heard it.

"I don't make it a habit to look in your room unless you're in there. The last time I was mildly curious I was almost mauled by a dog." He gave Merlin a look.

"Right," Merlin grinned. "No dogs today." He stretched and climbed off the cot.

"You might want to make sure. If Belden goes to the prince's room and sees him not only gone but no signs that he slept in his bed, he will alert the guards."

"Right," Merlin sighed. Things shouldn't be so difficult. "I wasn't supposed to have to even look at Arthur this morning," he grumbled, walking towards the stairs. And now Arthur was going to be even grumpier than yesterday because he was waking him up even earlier than usual. _Serves him right for stealing my bed._ _If he's still in my bed._ He stepped into his room, his face flushing. Arthur was most definitely still in his bed and he was hugging Merlin's pillow to his chest. Perhaps he would kick Arthur out and take his place in the bed. It hadn't occurred to him last night that his blankets and pillow were going to be covered in Arthur's scent.

 _I want to be that pillow!_ He took a calming breath _. Stop it. You can't, he's the prince. You're going to get him out of your bed and go find someone new to drool over before you get yourself in trouble._

"Arthur, wake up." He strode towards his bed, hoping he had an air of authority around him. Huon had tried to instill that in him last week, but it often resulted in the head servant laughing at him whenever he tried. "Come on. I wasn't even supposed to have to look at your ugly face today, let alone have to wake you up."

Arthur frowned, hugging the pillow closer, but nothing more.

"The entire castle is going to go into a state of panic if they don't find you in your own bed," Merlin said.

"Just tell them I wasn't feeling well and stayed here so Gaius could keep an eye on me," he groaned, turning over so his back was facing Merlin, the pillow still held tight in his arms.

He tried to think of some way to counter Arthur's excuse, but couldn't. Part of that may have been because he realized the longer Arthur remained in his bed, the longer the scent would remain. _There's probably a spell for that._ He might not be able to have the prince, but there was no law against trapping his scent into his bedding. Okay, there was. It was the law stating any use of magic would result in immediate execution, but he had to do something. If he didn't preserve his scent, it'd be washed away when they did laundry next.

"I've turned into a creep," he said in horror. No, Arthur needed to get out of his bed, and he needed to wash his bedding today. He couldn't keep living in his fantasy world where Arthur always chose him. Locking Arthur's scent into his blanket and pillow would not only make him a creep, it would just depress him in the long run. A constant reminder of what he could never have.

"What," Arthur asked, still half asleep.

"N, nothing. Just don't fall back asleep. I need to go." He stumbled towards his wardrobe and began digging out a clean tunic and pants.

"Go? Where could you possibly have to go this early?" Merlin heard him sit up. "Who's going to bring my breakfast?"

Merlin rolled his eyes before he turned around.

"Belden," Merlin said.

"Who?" Arthur looked utterly confused.

"The servant you replaced me with for the week?" Merlin raised an eyebrow, gave him an encouraging smile, but Arthur just seemed more confused.

"What? I did?"

"You are not a morning person at all," Merlin sighed.

"Well, I take it back," he said, lying back down and closing his eyes. "Just bring my breakfast here."

"You can't do that!"

"I'm the prince, I can do whatever I want," he mumbled into the pillow. "Think of this as payback for the rude awakening yesterday."

This wasn't fair. He didn't want Arthur eating in his room or in the room at all anymore. This whole situation was crazy. He needed Arthur out, back in his own room, so Merlin could air his out and scrub his blankets. If he didn't do it soon, he wouldn't have the strength to stop himself from finding and using a spell to lock Arthur's scent into his blankets forever. And if he did that, he'd have no choice but to accept that he was a hopelessly in love fool and a full-blown creep.

"You're going to hurt Belden's feelings," Merlin tried.

"Right now, I really don't care."

"Fine," Merlin said. "I'll bring your breakfast; it will be in the main room. I will let the castle staff know you aren't missing. Gaius gave you some medicine for what you believed was the start of a cold and it made you tired, so you stayed overnight. But you're feeling perfect now."

Arthur turned his head so he could look at Merlin. "You are too much of a morning person."

"Just go back to your room after you finish eating so Belden can get you dressed. Your father has audiences, and the council is meeting to decide on that border issue. So, make sure you wear something comfortable because you'll be sitting all day."

"Damnit Merlin, I don't want Belden to help me get ready or to spend all morning in the throne room listening to who knows who talk about useless things. This is all your fault," he whined and buried himself deeper into the blankets and pillow.

"Yes, well. Think of it as revenge for stealing my bed." Arthur lifted his head and they stared at each other, Merlin doing his best not to blush. Arthur was downright sulking, and it was adorable. "Fine," Merlin caved. It wasn't like he wanted Belden touching Arthur, anyway. Until Arthur was married off, touching him was exclusively reserved for him. Well, Morgana touched Arthur plenty, and Uther probably hugged him or something from time to time, but there was nothing he could do about that. He obviously cared for them, possibly Morgana more than Uther. He had asked Merlin and Lancelot to make her a necklace for Sweets day after all. And it would be a waste not to take advantage of his position while he could. _I so need to find a boyfriend,_ he mentally groaned.

"Good." The smile that broke onto Arthur's face held so much warmth and he looked so genuinely happy.

"You really should try out other servants from time to time," Merlin said, grabbing his clothes. He'd change in the main room where Arthur had no chance of seeing him. "You won't know who to choose to replace me after I become a full-fledged physician." He walked out of his room knowing full well even if Gaius ever granted him full physician status, he wouldn't, couldn't really thanks to the prophecy, leave Camelot. But there wasn't a need for two physicians, at least not in the castle. Maybe he could open his own practice in the town, but that could lead to issues with protecting Arthur. He didn't think he could bear to change Arthur's clothes once he got married though so remaining his servant forever was out of the question. He could always remain Gaius's assistant, that would at least keep him in the castle.

"I'm going to go get Arthur's food."

"I thought you had the week off," Gaius said, frowning. "Wasn't Belden in charge of him this morning?"

"My time off was resent," Merlin muttered. "He's refusing to let Belden anywhere near him."

"That boy," Gaius sighed.

Merlin changed fast and then left the tower. He made sure to tell every guard and staff member he saw that Arthur was with Gaius due to a cold, but that he felt great this morning. When he returned to the tower, Arthur was finally out of his bed and sitting at the table, his hair an absolute delightful mess. For some reason, he looked quite pale. Maybe he was coming down with a cold.

"My lord. One breakfast on the table," Merlin grinned, placing the tray in front of him. He moved to the other side of the table, so he was closer to Gaius. He wasn't about to catch Arthur's cold if he did have one. He also had no excuse not to wash his bedding now. He just had to keep himself away from the spell books until after his stuff was clean.

"Would you rather we wait to eat until after you're finished my lord," Gaius asked. Arthur looked up at the doctor like he had no idea what he'd just been asked. "My lord," Gaius asked, his voice full of worry.

"What?" Arthur blinked a few times, a frown finding its way to his face. "No... it's quite alright Gaius…" He looked back at his food and stared at it like he had no idea what it was or what to do with it.

"Are you okay," Merlin asked. When he'd left Arthur had still been half asleep, but he'd been holding a conversation. They'd even bantered a little. Now he just looked like someone had hit him in the head with a brick.

Arthur gave a small nod and grabbed his fork. He poked the fruit in front of him, the cheese, the thin slices of meat, but didn't try to pick any of it up.

"I draw the line at feeding you unless you're injured in battle," Merlin said. He took the bowl of warm soup that Gaius handed to him. "Thanks."

"Just finish so I can get to work," Gaius said. He placed his own bowl down on the table and took a seat in his chair.

"Says the man who just sat down to eat himself," Merlin said. He picked up his spoon and lifted some soup to his mouth, frowning when he saw Arthur looking at him. "What?"

"It's just…" He glanced at his own tray and back to Merlin.

"No way, this is my soup. Gaius cooks for me alone," he said, hiding the bowl under the table.

Gaius snorted and began laughing. "There's plenty left my lord, but I promise you, my cooking skills are nothing compared to Jillian's."

"Your cooking is amazing," Merlin said. He loved the food Gaius prepared.

"Only because you can't even put a salad together properly."

"One time," Merlin pouted. He took a spoonful of his soup and placed it in his mouth, warmth spreading throughout his body. Gaius was no gourmet, but he loved his food all the same. With all the knowledge Gaius had of herbs, he always made the most basic of foods taste wonderful. It had taken him by surprise when he first tried his cooking, considering how vile tasting some of his elixirs were.

He glanced at Arthur, frowning. He still hadn't touched his breakfast. "You'll be late for the audiences if you don't start eating. We still have to go to your room so you can change."

"... I'm not really hungry," Arthur said, his voice unsteady.

The smile on Gaius's face disappeared. "Are you possibly coming down with a cold?"

"...I... I don't think so…."

"Well, just in case." He got up from the table, went to his table of vials, and began sifting through them.

"You were fine when I left you," Merlin whispered. "What happened?" If Arthur fainted in the tower, there was no telling what kind of chaos would ensure. The end result would probably be Gaius treating Arthur and Uther throwing Merlin into the dungeon, because why not?

"It's nothing... when I stood up, I felt a bit dizzy. I guess it hasn't passed." He closed his eyes.

Merlin's stomach sank. "This is all my fault," he said getting up. "I'm so sorry." What if Arthur's cold turned into something much worse? Merlin tried to act like he could survive without Arthur, but he really couldn't.

"How is this your fault," Arthur asked, making one of his famous 'are you mad' faces.

"I dropped water on you! It wasn't that cold out then, but it wasn't exactly warm either. I'm such an idiot." He grabbed the extra bowl Gaius always had nearby and filled it with warm soup. How could he be so stupid? Enough was enough. If he was going to be Arthur's friend or even just his servant, he needed to shape up. He set the bowl in front of Arthur. "Wait, did you want this, or should I go ask Jillian to make you some soup," he asked, his words coming out in a rush.

"It's fine—"

"Jillian's soup will definitely taste better, but Gaius puts herbs in ours to help fight fatigue and help us not get sick."

"Is that why you always have so much energy," Arthur asked, a slight smile on his face.

 _He can't be too sick if he's willing to banter_ , Merlin thought, somewhat relieved.

"My lord, they're herbs, potent yes. but even if I cooked a whole basket of them, it wouldn't give anyone that much energy."

Arthur chuckled at that; the tenseness Merlin had been feeling easing up. He took the spoon Merlin had brought and placed some of the soup into his mouth.

"Mm." A look of surprise crossed his face. "This is good. No wonder you didn't want to share."

"You're too kind, my lord," Gaius said. He bowed his head and brought a vial of almost black liquid to Arthur. "I'm afraid you won't be saying the same for this."

Merlin watched anxiously, his fingers grabbing at his neckerchief as he shifted his weight from one leg to another.

Arthur looked at him. "What?"

"I want you to take your medicine, so you'll get better," he said.

Sighing, Arthur set the spoon down and drank the medicine. His eyes widened, tears streaming down his face.

"Best to swallow it fast," Gaius said.

Arthur nodded, his face turning red. When the medicine was down, he snatched the bowl with his soup, brought it to his lips, and drank.

"His appetite is back! You're amazing, Gaius!"

Gaius shook his head before returning to his breakfast.

**(TBC)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ….I keep trying to keep these chapters short, but then they keep growing…so I guess they’ll just be as long as they’re going to be, which I was trying to avoid. I have mixed feelings about parts of this chapter.  
> Warnings: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever you want to dub it. Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

They finished breakfast, mostly in silence because Merlin was much more concerned about Arthur's health and kept glancing at him, rather than attempting to hold a conversation. He had to make sure Arthur was eating after all. Colds were nothing to play around with. Even with an amazing physician like Gaius around, a lack of nutrition could easily make his condition worse and he couldn't let that happen. Arthur's lapse in health was his fault. How could he ever forgive himself if Arthur's health grew worse? Gaius and he could only do so much to save others from sickness. They could do plenty more than other physicians, but if they got caught….

Best to just stop any sicknesses immediately before it came to that.

His eyes flicked back up to Arthur again as the prince swallowed another spoonful of soup. Color had returned to his cheeks.

 _Thank goodness._ Arthur's eyes met his, and he looked back down, hoping the prince couldn't see the blush crossing his cheeks _. It won't matter if I find someone to date. I'll never feel this way about anyone else._ Arthur was special and that was it. He knew it, Gaius knew it, even his mother had noticed when she'd come to Camelot begging for help for Ealdor. Will had teased him about it the second they were alone. Thank goodness Arthur was oblivious to everything besides hunting and sword fights.

He smiled as he finished up his soup. It would be impossible to find anyone similar to Arthur. No, there was no one in Camelot, in all of Albion, that was so caring, stupid, brave, and hot all contained in a single vessel. It would take some work figuring out what other kinds of people he liked. _Troublemaker is a good start._ Arthur was a troublemaker and while he hadn't wanted to sleep with Will, his behavior and attitude had drawn Merlin to him immediately. _Another outcast_ , he realized. Someone who would understand what it was like to be, well, like Merlin. He didn't want a complete fool, but they couldn't be too smart either, or they might find out about his magic.

Gaius took Merlin's bowl and spoon, raising an eyebrow at him. Merlin offered him a slight smile, causing the doctor to sigh. "What's going through that strange head of yours now?"

"I was thinking about our conversation yesterday," Merlin said. He could feel his cheeks burning at the thought and Gaius suddenly looked interested. They both glanced at Arthur. This wasn't a conversation to have with the prince next to him. Even though Arthur didn't like him in that way, he still felt as if he were betraying him for trying to find someone to date. Not that Arthur would ever find out about his boyfriend. Best to keep that secret too. No need to worry Arthur about the possibility that Merlin might be late bringing his breakfast or something trivial like that because he'd spent the evening with his boyfriend. Granted, he'd brought Arthur's breakfast late plenty of times already and he was single right now. Having a boyfriend might make those instances happen a bit more frequently, especially if he spent the night with him.

Maybe Arthur should worry.

"Ah. Any... particulars," Gaius asked. He took Arthur's spoon and bowl and set them with the other dirty dishes.

Arthur looked between the two of them, the look on his face showing his growing distaste at being left out of the conversation.

"Not really. I think I have a good place to start though." The commoner's tavern for one. Possibly even the bottom quarter's tavern, but he really didn't want to go there. Even if that's probably where he'd find another outcast.

"Splendid. Now get out," Gaius said, eyeing Merlin. "And don't come back unless you've gotten your things."

"Got it," he said, grinning. Great. He'd have to sneak into his room after Gaius went to sleep now. Not exactly what he wanted. He'd already had to give his bed up for Arthur the night before and now he'd be waiting well into the evening before Gaius would get fed up waiting for him and go to sleep so he could get into his room without getting stopped. Who knew helping people out could get you into so much trouble? Okay, Merlin knew that quite well, he'd simply thought it pertained to helping people with magic, not coins.

Merlin picked up Arthur's tray of untouched food. _What a waste_.

"The two of you can have that," Arthur said. "A thank you for the medicine."

"Are you sure," Gaius asked.

"Yes."

"Thank you, my lord," Gaius said. He bowed his head and took the tray of food from Merlin. He set it to the side next to the dirty bowls. "I'll see you tonight Merlin."

"Yes," he said smiling. "See you tonight."

They stepped out of the room and into the hall, Arthur hissing as they did. "The difference in temperature is amazing," he said, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Maybe you should keep a coat with you until the weather warms up," Merlin suggested. Especially since Arthur seemed to have a slight cold. Just seeing him so pale earlier would have Merlin on edge the rest of the day.

"Probably," Arthur agreed. He looked at Merlin then and frowned. "How are you not cold? Why aren't you wearing your winter clothes?"

Why was everyone so bloody interested in his winter clothes?! He knew Gaius wanted him to get them so he wouldn't get sick. Gareth was interested because he and Lady Elizabeth had helped pick out the colors of cloth and the overall design for his garments. But Arthur? Besides the cursed Camelot servant attire, he'd never taken an interest in Merlin's clothes.

"It's not as cold as last night," he said, trying to play it off. It was only a few degrees warmer than the night before, but a good deal colder than in Gaius's tower and getting colder as they descended the stairs. "I've felt colder."

"Yes, but you have winter clothes now, so you should wear them," he said.

"Okay." What else could he say? He didn't want to lie, so he couldn't tell Arthur he didn't actually own any winter clothes, yet, and now that Arthur seemed concerned for some strange reason, he didn't want to stress him out about it. No matter how small a concern it was, and Merlin having warm clothes was definitely a minor concern, it could make his cold flare back up. No, best to keep anything bothering him far from Arthur. "I'll probably wait a little longer before I start wearing them. It's really not that cold yet."

Arthur glared at him as a white puff escaped his mouth.

"You've never cared about my clothes," Merlin protested.

"... Well... I should have," he said somewhat awkwardly. "I'm in charge of your health. If you get sick, it makes me look bad."

"Right," Merlin said, rolling his eyes. "Or we can agree that I'm perfectly capable of deciding what to dress myself in."

"Um, no. I cannot even half agree to that. Your sense of style is atrocious. You've been wearing the same garments since you've arrived for the last few years, and despite Camelot's cold winters, they're all summer clothes.

"Using big words won't change my mind," Merlin said, trying to deflect.

"I mean it, Merlin. If you get sick, I'll have you thrown into the dungeon." He sounded like he meant it too.

"Because throwing me into the dungeon will definitely help me get better." They glared at one another as they continued on.

"I'm ordering you to—"

"Feeling better, my lord," a guard asked when they stepped out of the tower.

"Yes, thank you," Arthur replied, returning his attention to Merlin immediately.

The guard dropped his head.

"To wear—"

"I hope you're feeling better, Prince Arthur," one of the servant women asked as they walked by. She was holding onto a basket filled with apples.

Arthur stared at her a moment as if he didn't understand her words and finally nodded. "Um, yes, I am," he said looking somewhat taken aback.

"Thank goodness," she said, resting one hand on her chest and sighing in relief. "It's far too early to be catching a cold. Stay well, my lord." She scurried off then towards the kitchen.

"Winter—"

"Better my lord," a guard stationed at the bottom of the steps leading to the prince's room asked.

"Fine, yes," Arthur said, a slight edge to his voice. When they were far enough up the stairs, he turned on Merlin, glaring. "Just how many people did you tell I was sick?!"

"Everyone I came across when I went to fetch your breakfast. I didn't want to risk someone starting a search and rescue," he explained. "My lord," he added.

Arthur gaped at him.

Merlin did his absolute best not to grin. _What luck_! Not only had telling everyone he could about Arthur's slight cold kept the kingdom at peace, but it had also resulted in everyone interrupting the prince and thus allowing Merlin to ignore his orders without feeling guilty. Broken sentences didn't count. Why, he wasn't even entirely sure what Arthur had been trying to order him to do.

"Just get in the room," Arthur groaned.

Merlin nodded and opened the door. He entered, amazed and grateful, not to mention a little prideful, at how comfortably warm it was inside. No amount of denial could change the actual temperature after all and he was cold. He moved further into the room, letting out a yelp when he saw movement. Was someone trying to attack Arthur already? Couldn't his enemies be a little more considerate and at least wait until after lunch to make any attempts on the prince's life?

"What!?" Arthur rushed in, shoving Merlin out of the way, his hand on his sword.

Merlin staggered towards the wall, placing his hands out in front of him so he wouldn't hit it. He turned, ready to fight, and saw Belden looking at the two of them curiously.

"S, sorry... I forgot Belden was going to be in here," Merlin said, leaning against the wall. Even if Arthur only saw him as a servant right now, the prince never ignored a chance at playing the hero. Thankfully, it hadn't been anyone dangerous. Merlin couldn't stop himself from grinning now that he knew everything was okay. Times like this he could pretend that Arthur cared for him and wanted to keep him safe. That he would risk his life for Merlin's own. Another pointless daydream. It was Arthur's job to kill people like him, not protect him.

"You forgot," Arthur asked, his voice full of disbelief.

So many things had happened already this morning. Arthur couldn't expect him to remember everything. Not when it was supposed to be his day off and Arthur had decided not to let him have it. Why was he being such a jerk and taking his free day away anyway? Now that he'd reminded himself of how much Arthur would hate the real him if he truly knew him, his day was ruined.

"Really, Merlin?" Arthur sighed, removing his hand from his sword.

"You didn't even remember you ordered him up here," Merlin countered. He knew he was pouting at this point. At least Arthur had dropped the issue of his winter clothes.

Arthur shot him another glare.

 _I'm supposed to be making this less stressful_ , he reminded himself. He wasn't quite sure that was even possible now with his gloomy feelings taking over.

"My lord, good morning," Belden said, dropping to a low bow. He glanced at Merlin for half a second before giving Arthur his full attention. "I was beginning to worry you weren't coming." He straightened up and motioned to the table. Spread out before them were four complete outfits, socks and belts included. "I wasn't sure what you would feel like wearing my lord," he said, his eyes never looking up past Arthur's chest. "So, I arranged a few, of course, if you'd rather wear something else—"

"No, this is good," Arthur said. "Thank you." His eyes flicked to Merlin, and he smirked. "You see this, Merlin? This is what a good servant does."

"I'll keep that in mind," he muttered. He'd heard those same words from Huon at least fifty times already, probably more, but Merlin had begun to tune the older servant out. He already knew he was a bad servant. If Arthur was lucky, he might watch and pick up a few tips. But really, who were they kidding? If Arthur wanted a good servant, he was much better off picking someone else for the job. Someone without magic.

Arthur examined each outfit, going as far as to run his hand over the fabric. "I like the way the black tunic and light gray pants look," Arthur said.

"My lord," Belden answered, bowing his head deeply. "If you're ready then?"

 _Hmph._ _Belden only set out four outfits. So, when I do this, I could set out ten_ , Merlin thought, watching the exchange. It seemed like everyone in the castle knew how to act and behave, but him. Not that he saw anyone else drinking poison for Arthur or risking their lives to save him from vengeful sorcerers. Surely if he explained where all his energy was going and what he was doing behind the scenes, people would leave him alone about his pitiful servant skills. _Yeah right._ There was so much to remember and it was just about impossible to guard Arthur and be a good servant. Being Arthur's servant made it easier for Merlin to protect him though. He could at least try to learn a few proper ways to act. _Okay, no eye contact, ever._ It didn't sound practical, but if that's how servants were expected to behave.

"What are you looking at," Arthur asked. He sounded curious. Half a moment passed. "Merlin!"

He jumped but kept his head down. "Y, yes!?" _How do the other servants know when they're being addressed when you can't look at who's addressing you?!_ This was much harder than he'd originally thought.

"I asked you what in the hell are you looking at." He sounded irritated, alright, downright angry, which is exactly what Merlin was trying to avoid. Irritation and anger could bring his cold back.

"The floor," he said.

"What did you miss a spot yesterday?" The anger had faded, replaced now with minor curiosity.

"No, I don't think so," Merlin muttered, scanning the floor. He hadn't been looking at it, rather he'd just been gazing in that general direction so his eyes wouldn't meet Arthur's. It looked clean as far as he could tell.

Arthur sighed.

"Will you stop screwing around and help?"

"I thought Belden was helping," he said.

"Just get over here!"

He could hear the anger returning in Arthur's voice and nodded. Head still down, he walked towards the prince.

Without warning, Merlin crashed into someone headfirst. His head snapped up just in time to see Arthur stagger forward and almost smash into Belden.

"What in the hell is wrong with you," Arthur screamed, turning.

 _How do the other servants manage this?!_ "I, um. I was—"

"Just get out, Merlin. I will deal with you later," he yelled.

"R, right." He noted where the door was, dropped his head back down, and started walking.

"With your head up so you can't kill anyone, yourself included," he screamed.

"Got it!" He looked up and bolted from the room. So much for not stressing him out. He stopped once he was standing in the hall. _Well, that went well,_ he mentally scolded himself.

**(X)**

Arthur's eyes wandered over to where Merlin, Gwen, and his father's servants stood on his right. His servant was and had been since he’d entered the room, staring intently at his shoes. He didn't know what had caused Merlin's sudden strange behavior, but he needed to figure out what and put a stop to it before someone, probably himself and Merlin, got hurt. He'd been trying to get Merlin's attention for the last twenty minutes, but all he'd managed so far was getting his goblet refilled with water by one of the other servants.

Gwen looked at him. She seemed to have finally noticed him looking in their direction and offered him an encouraging smile. Usually, Merlin was the one smiling at him like a fool or watching the audiences. Sometimes he was staring out the window, probably as bored as Arthur was. He would take any of those choices compared to what Merlin was doing now. He'd never seen anyone so obsessed with the castle floors.

_Is his face red?_

Frowning, he gave the smallest nod he could at Gwen. She smiled back, showing some of her teeth.

He gave a slightly more obvious nod, flicking his eyes towards Merlin.

Gwen brought her hand up to cover her mouth, laughing.

 _Of all the days for Gwen to lose her mind,_ he thought, irritated. He motioned with his whole head at Merlin.

She tilted her head questioningly.

_Oh, come on._

Giving up, he jerked his finger at Merlin. Her eyes widened as the light turned on in her head.

 _That shouldn't have taken so long. Do Morgana and her have a different communication system?_ He realized the room had gone quiet. _Shite…_

Uther cleared his throat, the small noise echoing throughout the room. "Is there something you'd like to share, Arthur," he asked, his voice cold. He could hear Morgana laughing quietly.

"MERLIN!" Gwen shouted. Gasps erupted throughout the room. Arthur turned just in time to see Merlin collapse onto the floor.

"Merlin!" He dashed out of his chair towards his fallen servant. "Where's Gaius!?" Usually, the physician joined them. Why had he chosen today not to?

"Go," he heard his father order. He could hear hurried footsteps and the doors to the throne room open behind him.

"Did you see what happened," he asked. Merlin wasn't moving, and he'd been right. His servant's face was dark red.

Gwen shook her head, tears pouring down her face. She had Merlin's head in her lap. "No," she sobbed. "I, I looked at him and noticed how red his face was." She lowered her voice. "I told him to look up, that you wanted his attention, but he refused. He kept shaking his head and then, this," she said. "He was perfectly fine before the audience started. He was joking around like always," she sniffed.

This couldn't be happening. "Where's Gaius!?" He looked towards the door, but there were no signs of Gaius or the knights. He knew there wouldn't be. It would take the guards at least five minutes to reach Gaius at a run, and then they had to come back.

He wasn't sure what he should do. He wasn't a physician or a physician's apprentice. Why hadn't he learned anything beyond the most basic first aid!? He should be doing something while they waited for Gaius! He put his hand on Merlin's forehead and pulled it back. It was hot.

"Where is he!?" Arthur stood up and moved as Gaius rushed over. He knelt where Arthur had been and put his hand under Merlin's nose. He moved his hand to his neck, then to his forehead.

"Is he okay," Arthur choked. What was he going to do if he wasn't? They'd just been talking a few hours ago! "Hi, his forehead is hot," Arthur stuttered.

"His breathing isn't right," Gaius said. Can someone help me get him back to my tower?"

 _No…!_ "He'll be okay, right!?"

"Help him, Ulrich," Uther yelled.

"My lord." The guard closest to the door nodded and grabbed Merlin's limp form. Gaius bolted from the room, the guard holding Merlin running, Merlin's arm swinging back and forth.

"I should—"

"Your place is here, Arthur. He's just a servant and in the best care possible with Gaius," Uther said.

Did no one else remember that Merlin wasn't just his servant, but Gaius's apprentice? Granted, he'd forgotten too, until Merlin had been so nice to remind him this morning. Most importantly, he was his friend.

"Gwen, go," Morgana said, offering Arthur a look of pity.

"My lady," Gwen bowed and ran from the room.

Arthur clenched his fists and stomped back to his seat, anger and hatred burning through him. Why weren't the knights forced to attend these meetings? He could have ordered one of them to go with. _He's with Gaius._ But that wouldn't change anything if Merlin died, and he wasn't by his side, because it was his duty to listen to some stupid dispute over three feet of land!

He leaned his head against his fist, elbow on the armrest, his fingers drumming impatiently on the other. If Merlin died, he'd never forgive his father. What if Merlin required something to get better? What if Arthur needed to find some out of the way herb days away from Camelot like last time? Merlin had almost died despite the remarkable time he'd managed because magic had made the poison worse.

His breath caught in his throat. _He could die…._ He stared at the closed doors, his heart pounding _. He can't…._

"I really should have gotten you a dog," Uther sighed. "Will you stop drumming your fingers and listen," he asked, his annoyance clear.

Arthur turned to his father, not sure of the expression on his face, but it must have been noteworthy because Uther actually moved back.

"If he dies," he left it at that, his eyes going back to the door. _If he dies…_ He closed his eyes. Merlin couldn't die. He never died. Despite all odds, he always survived.

"Calm yourself, Gaius will do whatever is necessary to help him. You cannot worry yourself about servants, Arthur."

"What if it was Gaius," he asked quietly.

Uther blinked at that. Gaius was Uther's friend, the court physician, and sometimes his father's adviser. His words seemed to sink in. His father's face paled as he rested his chin in his hand, his eyes distant.

"Gaius is your friend," he said, daring his father to deny it. "Merlin is mine."

"Go," Uther screamed, motioning to the door angrily.

Arthur nodded and ran out of the room.

**(X)**

Merlin blinked, his vision dancing before him. He realized he was in the tower, but hadn't he just been in the throne room? He'd been trying so hard to keep his eyes on the floor during the audiences. And it had been no big deal, at first. After the first fifteen minutes, he could feel the blood rushing to his head. He'd felt a little dizzy, but nothing major. But as the second hour started, and then the third…

 _How stupid can you get?_ He sat up in the bed and regretted it instantly as the world spun. He fell back onto the cot and closed his eyes. Not that it did much to help.

"Gaius! He's awake!"

Merlin winced. Why did Gwen have to yell? Gaius wasn't hard of hearing and as long as he was inside the tower, there was no way he couldn't hear her if she spoke normally.

"Merlin! What happened," Gaius demanded rushing over to him.

"It's nothing," he mumbled. Gaius would scream at him if he found out why he'd passed out. He brought his hand up to his eyes and covered them.

"You fainted," Gaius said, his voice rising. "Your heart was barely beating." He placed his hand on his forehead. "And you've still a fever." He removed his hand. "How is that nothing!?"

Gwen grabbed his hand. "Merlin, if you're overworked or sick, just say something. It happens to all of us, but we need to know so you can rest!"

"No, really, I'm fine," he said looking from Gwen to Gaius. There was no he could admit he fainted because he'd been looking down at his feet for too long.

Gwen bit her lip.

"Gwen, could you maybe excuse us a moment?" Gaius asked. "I'm beginning to think this might be a personal sickness."

"O, oh! Of course," she stuttered, getting to her feet and wiping her tears away. "I hope you are alright," she said, her cheeks bright red. "I'll come back after Lady Morgana's lunch."

"Thank you, Guinevere."

They watched her leave and waited for her to close the door. Gaius didn't wait and hit Merlin on top of the head.

"You idiot!"

"Ow!" He put his hands over his head to defend it. "What was that for!? And is that what you tell people when I've run into a magic issue? That it's a personal sickness!? What does that even mean!?"

"What else am I supposed to tell them!?" He stood up and rubbed his eyes. "What happened?"

"I'm an idiot," Merlin sighed.

"We all know that you need to be more specific."

Merlin glared at him, then stopped. What was the point?

"You know Uther expects me to be a better servant. Arthur kept saying how good Belden was so, I started copying him."

"And he fainted," Gaius asked, arching an eyebrow dangerously high.

"Of course not." He said. Even he wasn't stupid. "He was avoiding eye contact with Arthur."

"Are you kidding me," Gaius asked, his voice neutral. "You fainted from looking down at the floor in some stupid attempt to impress the prince!?" His voice rose as he went on and he whacked Merlin's head again, harder this time.

"OW!"

**(X)**

"I should have left you on the floor!"

"You're so mean to me! I'm going to quit being your apprentice and go back home!"

"Good! It'll save what's left of my hair!"

"Your hair was completely white before I got here!"

Arthur couldn't believe how relieved he was to hear Gaius and Merlin fighting. Surely Merlin's life was in no danger if the two of them were bickering. He stepped into the room without knocking, smiling when he saw Merlin sitting up.

"My lord," Gaius said, bowing his head.

"It looks like you fixed him," he said. He pulled the closet chair over to the cot Merlin was resting in and sat down. Merlin looked down at his hands. Arthur never knew how annoying it was not to be able to meet Merlin's eyes. He placed his hand under Merlin's chin and pushed his head up. Merlin stared at him, his eyes wide. "Stop looking down _!" ... What in the hell am I doing!?_ He pulled his hand away. "I, I'm sorry," he blurted. "Is he going to be okay?" He asked, his eyes never leaving Merlin's face.

"I'm afraid I have no cure for stupidity," Gaius snorted. "Your worry for him is wasted, my lord."

"I heard you say something about his breathing," Arthur said, looking at Gaius now. Merlin had fainted. Something had to be wrong.

"Yes, but he's fine. I'm terribly sorry he worried you."

That didn't seem right. Servants didn't just faint. He touched Merlin's forehead, frowning. "He's really warm."

"Still?" Gaius placed his entire hand onto Merlin's forehead and frowned. "His temperature should have gone back to normal now that he's… Merlin, how much sleep have you gotten in the last week?"

**(X)**

"How much…?" That was a good question. Not enough, surely, but he couldn't put together an actual number. He'd felt okay enough to make it through his days. "I don't know," he admitted. "I know I've slept. Usually, after I finish with Arthur, I come back here and help you. I've been helping Lancelot with the necklace, but…" He glanced at Arthur. Uther had made it clear he was not to tell Arthur about his lessons with Huon.

"Right," Gaius sighed. "So, you've basically been working nonstop for the last three weeks. I should have stepped in," he said, shaking his head. He walked over to his table full of vials.

"You couldn't have. No one…"

"Merlin's always worked for me and then you," Arthur said. "I can't imagine the necklace would put that much of a strain on him. If it's that much work, forget about Morgana's gift." He didn't even have to give Morgana anything, he'd just thought he should given the holiday. Merlin was far more important though.

"No," Merlin said, his head snapping up. "It has nothing to do with the necklace." Making Morgana's necklace was one of the few ways he could prove to Arthur he wasn't such a screwup. That he was capable of doing something right.

"What aren't you telling me," Arthur asked. As far as he knew, Merlin had never been overworked before. Not enough to make him faint anyway.

"I can't…"

"You can," Arthur said, his eyes narrowing. "As the prince of Camelot, I'm ordering you to explain."

"I'm afraid the one who ordered his silence outranks you, my lord," Gaius said. He placed a small bowl into Merlin's hands.

"You can't be serious…" If he wasn't sick now, he was going to be after drinking whatever was in the bowl. It looked like Gaius had shoved some herbs into some mud, stirred it together, and poured some, well something yellow and liquidity on top.

"Drink it," Gaius ordered him.

Merlin sniffled and raised the bowl to his lips. The smell alone almost had him puking.

"Wait, so my father ordered him not to talk," Arthur asked. "What about you?"

Gaius smiled. "I'm under no orders where this matter is concerned."

"You're going to get me kicked out of the kingdom," Merlin muttered. He sipped from the bowl. It was just as disgusting as it looked. He shoved the bowl at Arthur before he could think, all his energy focused on coughing.

"Kicked out…," Arthur echoed. "What's going on?"

"Well, there's no denying it, Merlin's a horrible servant."

"Yes," Arthur agreed.

"Your father ordered Merlin to start taking lessons from Huon."

Arthur frowned at that. "But Huon…"

"Exactly," Gaius said. "Merlin's been attending lessons for the last three weeks, three times a week. He works Merlin into the ground and berates him for everything. I've had my hands full just keeping him sane."

Arthur looked at Merlin in shock. "Why didn't… right, you were ordered not to tell anyone."

"Your father said if I told you, he'd have me replaced and sent back home without a thought," Merlin whispered.

**(X)**

_Sent back home…?_ His father couldn't send Merlin back home! Merlin was his servant and bad as he may be, he didn't want anyone else. He trusted Merlin. Anyone could bring him breakfast or help him get dressed, but when someone else did it, it might as well be… he wasn't even sure how to describe it. With Merlin, there was always the chance of something going horribly wrong and that made everything exciting and fun. Besides, who was he kidding? He'd felt so awkward that morning when Belden had tried to put his socks on, he'd grabbed them from him and done it himself. He'd even managed to buckle his own belt. Without the fury from the previous day assaulting him, it had gone quite smooth.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I forbid it." He'd almost lost Merlin twice to his home, and he was not taking a chance with a third. He'd risked everything, leaving the castle at night to follow Merlin when he'd left to help his village. And afterward, Merlin had almost refused to go back with him to Camelot. They'd actually gotten half an hour out of the village when Merlin decided to walk back to Ealdor without telling him. He'd forced Morgana and Gwen to turn around with him when he'd noticed Merlin's horse was no longer carrying his servant. Merlin had been so surprised he'd returned to fetch him, again. The following day Arthur had tied Merlin's horse's reigns to his own so he couldn't run off again.

"This won't happen again," Arthur said. "I promise."

"But—" Merlin's eyes were wide, and he looked like he was about to cry.

"Stay in bed today," Arthur said. "I can fend for myself for a short while." He looked to Gaius. "How long do you think he needs to recover?"

"At least three days," Gaius said.

"Three days," Merlin shouted.

Arthur nodded, trying to hold back a wince. Three days. If it meant Merlin recovering, he would do it. "Alright. Three days," he agreed.

"But I can—"

"Do you think your health is a joke," Arthur demanded, his temper rising. How could Merlin be so stupid? "You were just running around this morning in a panic over my health, and yet you've completely neglected your own! I told you, you'd be useless to me if you got sick and here, we are!" He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. "Merlin I…" He hated apologizing, and it seemed like he was doing it a lot lately where Merlin was concerned. Everything he did seemed to get under his skin now. Not just his screwups, but everything. He couldn't go ten minutes without his mind drifting to something Merlin related. "Just get better," he muttered. His cheeks were beginning to burn, probably because this whole situation was so embarrassing.

"O, okay…" Merlin looked so scared, his voice quiet.

"Damnit Merlin," Arthur growled. "You know I didn't mean it that way!"

Merlin looked at him, frowning.

 _That look…_ It was like Merlin had no idea what he was supposed to do anymore, and Arthur hated himself for causing it. "Please, get better," he said, forcing his voice to remain calm.

Merlin nodded.

"Good… I… I will come and check on you, so you better be resting," he warned him.

"You don't need to," Merlin said. "I—"

"Merlin, do us all a favor."

"Yeah?" He was relieved to see the fear giving way to curiosity.

"Whatever Huon told you, forget it."

"But—"

"All of it. If I wanted things done differently, if I wanted someone else, I would have replaced you already. Whatever he told you or anyone else for that matter, you are to forget it, understood?" He hesitated and offered Merlin a small smile. "I would prefer not to be woken up by having my breakfast dropped on me though."

Merlin looked stunned and when Arthur saw his cheeks turning red, he could feel his own doing the same.

"If that's what you want."

"You have no idea how boring being tended to by someone like Belden is. Besides, someone like him will never offer their honest opinion about anything. They'll simply agree with whatever they think I want to hear, but…" He let out a breath while he built up his courage. "I'm not always right."

"No kidding," Merlin muttered.

Arthur smiled at that. This was what he needed to hear. Not the stupid repeats of "yes lord" or "no lord" or anything else lord. He needed Merlin to just be Merlin. "Thank you." He turned to Gaius. "Make sure this fool gets better."

"Of course," Gaius said.

"Oh, and Merlin."

"Yeah?"

"I conquered my belt by myself today," he said. He probably always could have but putting his belt on was one of the few things Merlin was good at, so he'd always let him do it.

"Yeah?"

"My socks too," he said, not sure why he was telling him. Perhaps he just wanted Merlin to know he could dress himself. "So, Belden didn't touch…" He froze, his mouth snapping shut. Merlin was looking at him with that wide-eyed expression again and he was sure he was going to die now if he didn't leave. "I'll check on you later," he blurted out, power walking to the door. _Why did those words just leave my mouth!?_

**TBC**

Enjoy. Sorry, these updates are so weird lately. Work has been a nightmare straightening out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My eyes are bleeding after this chapter. So many rewrites…  
> Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay. Merlin/Arthur and Arthur/Merlin Sometimes I worry about Gareth, but he’s assured me the only true love he has is Lady Elizabeth. I think he just enjoys screwing with Arthur and Merlin.  
> Notes: (X) pov change and or time jump

Chapter 5

They watched the door close, a minute ticking by in silence until they were sure Arthur was out of earshot. Gaius lifted his hand, smacking Merlin once again on the back of the head.

"OW! STOP HITTING ME!" Merlin screamed, covering his head. Getting hit was not restful, at least not for him.

"You corrupted the prince of Camelot," Gaius shouted, his look one of disbelief and anger. "You're lucky I don't throw you from the tower's window!" Merlin hadn't seen him this angry in some time. A blessing because an angry Gaius was worse than an angry Arthur. He could walk away from Arthur. He had to live with Gaius.

"I did what!? I'm not—" He stopped. He technically was Arthur's magic, everyone's magic, but magic didn't corrupt anyone more than a royal title did. _Wait…_ "I didn't corrupt him!"

"You are so blind Merlin, it's amazing you even know where you are sometimes." He grabbed the bowl of the foulest medicine Merlin had tasted so far during his short life and shoved it back into his hands. "Now finish this!"

"I did not corrupt him," Merlin repeated, pouting as he took the bowl.

"Really? Prince Arthur comes all the way up here to check on you. Then he makes sure you know that Belden hasn’t touched him?" He fixed Merlin with a questioning glare.

The warlock brought the horrible potion to his lips, so he didn't have to answer. He'd found Arthur's parting words strange as well, in a good way, but still strange. But he'd thought he'd twisted the words in his mind to make them sound that way. He did it so often that it was hard to remember sometimes what the reality of the situation was. He preferred his fake reality where Arthur adored him and spent most of his time in it. Why wouldn't he? Reality was when Arthur and he were nothing more than master and servant.

He gagged as the liquid touched his tongue. Why did all potions have to taste as horrible as they were strong? "If this is your idea of bedrest, you need your license revoked!" When he saw that Gaius was still looking at him, he took a small gulp of the potion, his vision spinning once again. "I can't," he gasped and placed the bowl onto the chair Arthur had been sitting on. Gaius kept his gaze firmly locked on Merlin until he threw his arms up into the air. "What do you want me to say? I've been trying to keep my distance from him! It's not my fault he noticed this time!"

"Not your fault," Gaius asked with a loud, curt laugh. "What am I supposed to tell the king when he storms in here demanding to know why my apprentice has corrupted his son?"

"It's not corruption," Merlin shouted back. "I told you I'd go look for someone—"

"I mean it Merlin. Find someone and fast, before Arthur puts two and two together."

"Is he even capable of that," Merlin asked, dropping back down, his head hitting the pillow. "It's not like I've done anything to show I'm interested. I always admire his arse secretly when his back is turned."

Gaius let out a long sigh, Merlin grinning at him. "You know I just don't want you hurt," he said, his voice suddenly calm. "Right?"

"Yes," Merlin said. He knew all too well the impossibilities of him having a relationship with a prince. "I bet I could have any druid I want," he said. "Even if he was a prince."

"You could probably get the king, if they had one." Gaius moved the half-drunk potion and set it on the table before taking a seat. "But prince Arthur is not a druid or even a commoner, he's the prince of Camelot. You can't stand in the way of him finding a wife."

"I know," he sighed. "I don't even want to be around after Arthur gets married. No…" He frowned. "I don't want to be around when he falls in love." It would be too hard to watch Arthur drift away. Merlin didn't have enough friends to allow even one to leave him. It had taken him months of grieving to come to terms with William's death and that had only been thanks to Arthur. He knew it would happen though. Arthur would find some princess attractive or Uther would set up a political marriage. Arthur would spend more and more time with the girl until all Merlin did was wake him up and help him with his clothes and any servant could do that.

"I know. When that time comes, just excuse yourself from being his servant. Explain to him your duties as my apprentice must come first now. I mean, I am getting up in age," he said winking at Merlin.

"You're not going anywhere. I won't allow it." Gaius was his father, not by birth, he was his uncle in that case and his real birth father had showed up just to die on him, which was another emotional issue all together. But Gaius had taken him in in his time of desperate need. He'd accepted Merlin knowing exactly what he was and instead of having him burned alive had immediately began training him. He grabbed Gaius's hand and squeezed it. He couldn't lose Arthur and Gaius. Surely his fate couldn't be that horrible. His eyes grew heavy, his thoughts dissolving. Gaius must have put something in the horrible potion to make him tired. "Got it?"

"The only place I'm going is to my worktable," he snorted. "Some of us have jobs to do." He squeezed Merlin's hand back. "Now get some rest." He smiled at him.

Merlin nodded, just a hint, darkness washing over him.

**(X)**

Arthur hummed as he made his way up the stairs to Gaius's tower, two oranges from one of the merchants that had recently returned, in his hand. Arthur hadn't believed the man at first, claiming the oranges he'd procured were sweet, but one taste had proven his words. The merchant had also mentioned that the city he'd gotten them from claimed the sweet oranges were good for someone's health and could help with depression. Arthur wasn't sure if that was true, but the one he'd eaten had been delicious and it had made him happy. And if it made him happy, it would thrill Merlin because he loved fruit.

He knocked once, just loud enough for Gaius to hear in case Merlin was sleeping. He had mixed feelings about what to hope for. If Merlin were sleeping, he could leave the oranges in peace and not have to worry about Merlin bringing up his awkward exit from that afternoon. He could also swear Gaius to secrecy and best of all, he could watch Merlin sleep. If Merlin were awake, he could talk to him and give him the oranges in person, watch his eyes light up when the taste of the orange hit his tongue. Enjoy the pride he'd surely feel when Merlin thanked him.

 _Stop that!_ He'd thought he'd dealt with this already! Why was Merlin invading his every thought? Why couldn't they at least be normal thoughts? They always started off fine, but a minute or so in his emotions would flare up and he had no idea why or how to deal with it.

 _Maybe I shouldn't go in there._ He turned to the stairs just as the door swung open.

"Prince Arthur," Gwen laughed, taking a step back. "Why didn't you just come in?"

"I was…." His eyes fell on Morgana sitting in a chair next to Merlin's cot and he couldn't get the rest of the words out. Why was Morgana here?

"Arthur," Morgana said, looking towards the door and smiling at him. "You actually came. I was beginning to think you'd been lying at dinner."

Her eyes danced with an amusement Arthur didn't understand. How was any of this funny?

"I just…." His eyes drifted to the table next to Merlin where a small bowl of apples sat. Someone had beat him at giving Merlin a get well present.

"Gwen told me she was going to visit," she said, her smile becoming a full teasing grin. "I thought I would go with since Merlin's my friend too."

Arthur felt his face flushing. Morgana annoyed him at times, but this? He'd seen that teasing smile somewhere else. He couldn't quite place it, but it made his heartbeat speed up, and he needed it to stop.

Merlin sat up in the bed and looked at him. For a second Arthur almost dropped the oranges. Was it just him or did the two of them look similar?

 _Is that it,_ he asked himself, his eyes widening. He cared for Morgana and since Merlin looked similar to her and he was so stubborn in refusing to acknowledge his feelings for her; he was transferring his emotions for her onto Merlin? How screwed up could a person's emotional state be? He knew he had issues expressing himself, but this was ridiculous.

"Is he okay," Merlin whispered.

"My lord?" Gaius took a step towards him.

"I think he's jealous," Morgana whispered back, nudging Merlin's arm. "Move over and I'll sit next to you on the bed."

Merlin's face turned red.

"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING," Arthur screamed, his own face burning.

Morgana burst into a fit of laughter and got to her feet. "It seems my presence isn't wanted here." She bent towards Merlin and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, her eyes never leaving Arthur's face. "I'll see you tomorrow morning Merlin," she said and winked at him.

Arthur's entire body was shaking with rage. Did Morgana like Merlin? It would be just his luck to realize he cared for her only to find out that she liked Merlin. When had she even begun to have feelings for his servant? He knew they spoke from time to time, but that was it. In fact, why did it seem like everyone nowadays had feelings for his servant?

"Really Arthur. You needn't yell." She stopped in front of him. "Just claim what's yours already so no one can take it." She headed towards the door. "Let's go, Gwen."

"Of course, my lady. Merlin, see you tomorrow."

Arthur heard the door close. Gaius let out a large sigh. "Those two." He came into view just as Arthur could feel his body again. He half stomped, half staggered towards Merlin and shoved the two oranges in front of the bowl of apples.

"Even in bed, you can't stay out of trouble!"

"How am I in trouble!?"

"I came here to check on you and give you oranges and I find you flirting with Morgana!"

Merlin's eyes widened. "I was not flirting with her!"

"Really?" Why couldn't people just stay away from Merlin? He felt like everyone wanted Merlin instead of him. He was just a servant! There was not a single thing that made Merlin special. Why would Morgana choose Merlin over him?

He collapsed into the chair and stared at Merlin, his servant staring back at him. Merlin was still scrawny. Morgana would have to wield a sword to protect him if they ever ran into bandits. Though Morgana might actually prefer that. It wasn't like Merlin was good looking either. The similarities he shared with Morgana were, which he realized now, were quite a few. But overall, he wasn't hot; he was cute. Like a puppy or something. Merlin had no money, no status, he hardly had a brain. He wasn't even nice all the time! The one redeeming quality Merlin had, extreme loyalty, amounted to nothing because for some reason his presence alone made everyone around him unloyal.

"Arthur," Merlin asked hesitantly.

"I don't understand," Arthur said weakly.

"What's to understand," Merlin asked.

"Everyone likes you!"

Merlin made a face at that. "Well, I try to be nice and help everyone I can," he said. "Believe or not my lord, people like it when you're nice."

"No, I mean…" What did he mean? The harder he tried to put his thoughts into words, the less he could understand them.

"Whatever you think I'm doing, you're wrong," Merlin said. "Morgana and I are friends. She even said she was trying to make you jealous." He frowned at that. "Though I fail to see how anyone could get jealous over me." He shrugged as if it didn't matter, but the words bothered Arthur. Yet another emotion he couldn't understand. "Thank you for the oranges. I'll pretend to be asleep from now on when Morgana comes by."

Arthur nodded, relief flooding through him. He hated himself for it. "You know it's nothing against you, right," he blurted. "That this is just about Morgana?"

Merlin nodded. "Of course. You asked Lancelot and me to make a necklace for her for Sweets day."

"Exactly. I don't want you thinking I'm going back on my word. It's just Morgana is…."

"Special," Merlin offered, his voice quiet, distant almost.

_Funny, when Merlin says it, it sounds wrong._

"I guess," he mumbled.

"Everyone has someone.”

Arthur's heart stopped. Everyone has someone? Did that mean…?

"Even you," Arthur asked. Suddenly Merlin's personal life was the most important thing in the world. Who would ever want to be with Merlin? It sounded impossible that anyone would actually care for his foolish servant. Surely, he was lying. He _had_ to be lying. But then he remembered the knights and their reactions when he'd told them to stay away from Merlin.

"I wonder…" he folded his hands behind his head.

"Prince Arthur, the potion I gave Merlin is working. Why not let him sleep? You can continue your conversation in the morning," Gaius suggested. For some reason he looked anxious.

That was the last thing Arthur wanted though, but when he turned back to Merlin, his servant was fast asleep.

No, Merlin couldn't just go to sleep now without answering him. If he could just get Gaius out of the room, he could shake him awake and demand an answer. He turned back to the physician, desperate. How could he fall asleep without knowing who was stupid enough to think of Merlin as someone special? "Is he seeing someone Gaius?"

"He doesn't tell me everything, my lord. Though I have often wondered. Despite his claims of going to the tavern, he's never once come back drunk." Gaius looked thoughtful.

Arthur felt his stomach begin to knot. _So, he could be..._ Maybe the knights knew.

"I'll come back tomorrow." He stood up and awkwardly made his way to the door because his body no longer seemed capable of fluid movements. Every muscle in his body felt stiff.

"Good night, my lord."

"Goodnight…" He left the tower and stood at the top of the stairs blinking. Why had Merlin's words struck such fear in him? He'd promised he wasn't interested in Morgana and Arthur believed him but hearing Merlin talk about everyone having someone special. His breathing sped up just remembering it and he went down the stairs at a run. He wanted to wake up every knight and demand they tell him everything they knew, but if Gaius didn't know, they wouldn't.

_I'll be up all night!_

**(X)**

Merlin let out a sigh, his breath visible, and hugged himself tighter. Gaius had tried to convince him to stay in the tower, but he didn't have that luxury. Tomorrow was Sweets Day, and they had to finish that necklace tonight. Tomorrow morning his routine would go back to normal. He'd wake up early, rouse Arthur, do his best not to drop his breakfast on his head, and stalk the prince the rest of the day until Arthur yelled at him to go away.

He gave a quick look around, smiling when he saw no one that would pay any attention to him. In his mind, Merlin woke Arthur up. The prince looked annoyed as always, but instead of calling Merlin names, he pulled Merlin into his bed and wrapped him into a tight embrace. 'You can't do this,' Merlin laughed. Arthur rested his chin on Merlin's head. 'Watch me.'. The two of them drifted off together in peace.

Merlin snorted _. Yeah, right._ He'd never have Arthur. But, if the necklace won Morgana, Arthur would be thrilled with him and that was something he _really_ wanted.

"I really need a boyfriend," he groaned. An arm wrapped around his waist causing him to jump.

"Yes, you do," Gareth said. "I was working on one, but my plan hit a snag," he said, scowling. "Why must you tempt fate? You're going to freeze to death. What would Prince Arthur do then? Do you even realize how lost he’s been without you as his servant?"

Merlin shook his head. There was no way Arthur was lost. If anything, he was probably better off with Merlin stuck in the tower. As long as nothing magical invaded the kingdom or tried to jump Arthur, there really was no need for him. "You've gone mad," Merlin said.

"Have you ever seen the prince try to belt his own armor?"

Merlin scrunched his face up. "You can't do that."

"Well, no one told him. He refused to let Belden help and nearly killed himself," Gareth snorted. "For all the complaints he has against you, he will not let Belden anywhere near him."

"He's just being stubborn.” Gaius and he had agreed they would keep Arthur's weird slip from two days ago between themselves. It would make all their lives easier. Besides, Merlin wasn't stupid. He knew Arthur was just trying to be nice in his own weird way. By refusing Belden's help, it showed everyone else that he would only allow Merlin to be his personal servant.

They entered the tavern, everyone shouting out greetings. The words made Merlin feel warm inside. He hadn't even become a regular until Lancelot and he had started making Gwen's necklace, but it was delightful to know people had realized he was missing. It'd taken Arthur an hour to notice he wasn't on his horse and had gone back to Ealdor alone a few years back and his awareness of Merlin had not improved. In fact, Arthur was so absent minded about his presence that whenever they went somewhere now, he kept a rope tied from his horse's reigns to Merlin's horse's. Not that that had stopped Merlin from slipping away. He just had to be more careful whenever he did it.

"How far did you get," Lancelot asked when he sat down at their usual table. He moved his mug out of the way and Merlin set the decorative box Arthur had left with Gaius earlier that morning on the table. He lifted the top open, showing Lancelot the necklace.

"I'd say we have about three more hours of work."

"Let's finish up then. The prince won't be happy if he doesn't have a gift for tomorrow," Lancelot said.

**(X)**

"Almost…. hold it still Lancelot... Done!" Merlin let out a much well-deserved sigh and slumped into his chair laughing.

"I can't believe we made something so beautiful," Lancelot said in awe.

"I can't believe we finished it on time," Merlin said.

"We still have six hours until it's officially sweets day," Lancelot said. "You said Prince Arthur would meet us here?"

"It's beautiful," Gareth said.

"Let me see." Gwaine grabbed the box and whistled.

"He didn't trust me to bring it to him and not ruin the surprise for Morgana," Merlin said. Which was fine. He was sick of seeing the inside of the castle, especially the tower, and Gaius had had it with him and all his visitors. Despite just being exhausted, all the knights and Gwen had come to visit each day. Morgana had practically moved in because she was absolutely certain if Arthur walked in on them again, he would throw her out and take Merlin right there on the cot. Merlin wasn't sure where she'd gotten the idea, but she'd been his roommate until the end of the second day when Gaius had begged her to leave. Arthur had never come back to check on him, anyway. The closest he'd come was dropping off the box the necklace now sat in, but even then, he'd only spoken with Gaius.

"I just realized…." Lancelot frowned. "If Gwen is with me and the prince is with Morgana and Gareth is spending his day with Elizabeth. Percival, Gwaine, Luca?"

"We've got dates," Gwaine grunted over his drink.

"Merlin, who are you spending your day with tomorrow," Lancelot asked.

"I'll be with Gaius, of course. Who else would I be with?" He blinked at the other knights in turn as they let out a collective sigh. "What?"

"I feel guilty now," Gwaine said.

"Not nearly as much as I do," Gareth said, throwing his arms around Merlin. "If Elizabeth hadn't threatened me…"

"Come on, there's no need for anyone to feel bad. Sweets day isn't some big holiday and even if it was, I'd still be spending it with Gaius." Holidays were meant to be spent with loved ones and Gaius was basically his father so what was the problem?

"I don't think I could be as selfless as you," Lancelot said. "You helped make a breathtaking necklace for your rival."

"Guys, she's not my rival," Merlin laughed. And you had to have a chance at winning for someone to be your rival. Even if Morgana refused Arthur, it wasn't like Merlin was his second choice. He probably wasn't even a choice on any of Arthur's lists unless he needed someone to get rotting fruit thrown at.

 _Even if she keeps shoving him at you_ , he thought, holding back a sigh. Morgana had joked with him since he'd arrived at how cute a couple they would make. He'd tried to play it off, but the woman was getting aggressive in her tactics lately. Her last attempt, days before Merlin had collapsed, had been waiting for Arthur to start up the stairs to his room. Merlin had been talking to her at the top of the tower steps without the slightest idea about her plan. When Arthur had come into sight, she'd shoved Merlin down the steps. Arthur and Merlin had ended up bruised, by sheer luck not dead, and Arthur had gotten so mad at Merlin for landing on him, he'd had Merlin thrown in the stocks for a day. If that didn't prove a lack of romantic feeling for someone, he wasn't sure what did.

"He's in denial," Gareth whispered, pulling Merlin closer. "My poor beloved. If only there was some way, I could take you both." He placed his lips on top of Merlin's head.

Merlin hated when the knights got like this. He was fine with the joking and Gareth's horrible acting, but he hated it when they started giving him the looks of pity. He had more than enough pity for himself; he didn't need theirs too.

"Do I even want to know what you guys are doing," Arthur asked.

Merlin dropped his head back where it rested on Gareth's shoulder so he could look at Arthur since Gareth seemed incapable of letting him go. The prince had stopped a few steps away from the table, his arms crossed at his chest, a ghost of a scowl on his lips.

"No, I'm not sure I want to know." He managed to lift the small decorative box with his free arm. "But we did finish."

Arthur took the box and opened it, his mouth falling open. "How did the two of you make this?"

"Carefully," Merlin said.

"Very carefully," Lancelot added.

"So, Merlin didn't help with this one?"

"I did," Merlin huffed. "I had to twist all those small parts to make the leaves and the flower petals!" He was proud of the necklace. Unlike Gwen's, the entire front half of the necklace was a large Orchid with beautiful wrapping leaves. The metal that made the leaves doubled as the actual chain, and the flower, in full bloom, was covered in precious blue gems. Lancelot had snuck the wiring into the tower yesterday evening when Gaius had gone to deliver some medicine and Merlin had stayed up most of the night, bending and tweaking each small piece until everything was perfect.

"I hope your evening goes well, my lord," Lancelot said.

"Everyone will have a good evening tomorrow," Merlin said.

"Except you," Gwaine laughed.

Arthur looked like he was going to force Lancelot to move. He seemed to think better of it and sat down across from Merlin in an empty seat. "No luck finding a date Merlin?"

 _Am I going crazy or does he look happy about that_? He didn't know if he should throw something at Arthur or if the prince had read the situation wrong and was trying to join the knights in what he believed to be a joke about Merlin being single. "Who exactly was I supposed to ask while Gaius held me hostage?"

"Well, I can't get you a date, but." Arthur pulled out two small bags and handed one to Merlin and the other to Lancelot. He shoved a larger one to Gwaine. "For your services. If that doesn't cover the gems and more, let me know," he said to Gwaine.

"You don't have—" Merlin started. Gareth clamped his hand over Merlin's mouth.

"He's grateful, my lord," Gareth said cheerfully. He lowered his mouth to Merlin's ear, his voice low and full of warning. "You can pay the seamstress off now." Merlin's face flushed, and he nodded. "Good." He removed his hand, the smile back on his face.

Merlin noticed Arthur was watching Gareth and him, a bit too close for his liking. No one else seemed to notice. Maybe he was seeing things.

"So, what do you and Gaius do on holidays like Sweets day," Gwaine asked.

A barmaid came by and placed a mug in front of Arthur before rushing off to another table.

"We'll probably go collect herbs. We need to try to gather what we can before the first snowfall."

"That's it," Percival asked.

"You have to do something," Gwaine groaned. "Do you understand how much guilt that adds onto us if you don't?"

Merlin stared at them. "That is something."

"No, something fun," Luca said.

"I enjoy gathering herbs," Merlin said. He liked leaving the walls of Camelot and enjoying the fields and forests around them.

"I believe they meant you're supposed to do something with special someone," Gareth said. He'd pulled Merlin almost into his lap and began running his hands through his hair.

Merlin began relaxed against Gareth. The knight had a knack of making anyone unwind when he got his hands into their hair. "And where am I finding this person?"

"You know who they mean," Gareth said.

"I do not…" Everyone at the table, but Arthur, was snickering and grinning. How could the knights even suggest such a thing? They couldn't possibly be suggesting that he try to do something with Arthur.

"You have someone special," Arthur choked.

"Of course, he does my lord," Gareth said. He released Merlin making sure to run his hand through his hair one last time. "My dear, I believe you've been out and about long enough. Would you like me to walk you home?"

"You're leaving already," Merlin asked. He looked at the others at the table. Luca and Percival would no doubt leave soon, and Gwaine would be too drunk to notice in another three mugs or so. Arthur once again looked sick. _I should have Gaius make him some more medicine tonight._

"I need my sleep for tomorrow," Gareth said, smirking. "I suggest everyone else do the same." His eyes fell on Merlin. "Especially misbehaved servants who don't obey the doctor's orders."

"Shut up," Merlin sighed. "Thank you, my lord." He placed the bag of coins into his pocket. At least some good fortune had finally happened. Now he could pay the seamstress off and bring his winter clothes home. He'd started to worry if he'd get them before he froze to death. "I suppose this once I'll allow you to walk me to the tower entrance," Merlin said. "I'll see you in the morning, my lord." He managed a perfectly fluid head bow Gaius had been teaching him.

Arthur stared at him, his face turning two shades paler. "Are you mocking me, Merlin," Arthur asked. Merlin could see his knuckles turning white around his mug.

"What? No."

Arthur stood up, his chair scraping against the floor. "I thought we cleared all of _that_ up."

"What? That?" The words finally clicked. "We did," Merlin said immediately. "It's just, we're in public and…" He'd never thought he'd end up getting yelled at by Arthur for treating him like the royalty he was. "Am I supposed to insult you in public," he asked.

They stared at each other because Arthur seemed to have gone into shock and didn't know how to answer his question and Merlin wasn't sure what to do next.

"None of that," Gareth said, throwing his arms once again around Merlin. "Come along," he laughed, inching Merlin away from Arthur. "Perhaps we can celebrate Sweets today together tonight?"

"Gaius said you weren't allowed in my room anymore and I have to agree with him," Merlin said, deadpan.

"How was I possibly supposed to keep my hands off you last night? You were absolutely adorable wrapped up in that blanket," Gareth said. "Come on, the lot of you agree with me, right?" Gareth looked at each of the knights, all of them nodding their heads. "See! You can deny my feelings all you want Merlin, there are four other knights here to take my place."

Laughing, they both left the tavern. The cold hit Merlin immediately and he started to shake. "Why is it so cold!?" It seemed like every time he left a building the weather dropped four degrees.

"Because it's winter," Gareth suggested.

"It could never be that," Merlin said, grinning. "Thank you for saving me in there."

"I shouldn't have to. All of this is so frustrating," Gareth sighed. "If people knew the truth, you could have any person in Camelot."

Merlin laughed. "More like they'd chase me out of town with pitchforks and torches."

"You're not an ogre."

"Probably better if I was."

"No, it wouldn't," he said. "You're far too smart." He hugged him closer. Merlin was glad for the warmth and leaned into the embrace. "Are you sure Gaius won't let me into your room?"

"He was quite clear about that."

"You could sneak me in," he suggested.

"Or you could stop manhandling my servant and go home before I throw you in the dungeon for perverted behavior." Arthur grabbed Merlin's arm and pulled him away from Gareth. "I will make sure he gets home safe," Arthur growled.

Gareth flashed Merlin a smile. "Sure, my lord. I'll see you tomorrow, Merlin. Remember to rest up tonight."

Arthur watched Gareth go, his eyes narrowed. Merlin suspected he was wearing the same sullen look as Arthur. How could Gareth just ditch him like that? Now he was cold and stuck with Arthur, the one person he didn't want to be with right now. Or he did, but not like this. _This is getting too complicated and we're not even dating._

"You know you don't have to listen to him, right," Arthur said turning towards Merlin.

"Gareth was just joking around. Besides, he was my walking blanket until you drove him off," Merlin said, pouting. Now he was going to freeze, and it would be Arthur's fault. What did Arthur care if Gareth and he joked around? He was in love with Morgana, not Gareth.

Arthur released his arm and touched his cheek, quickly pulling his hand away. "Do you know how cold you are? Why aren't you wearing winter clothes yet?"

Of course, he knew how cold he was, that's why he'd allowed Gareth to be his blanket.

"No one wants to see you sick again," Arthur scolded him. "Tomorrow you will pick up your clothes, do you understand?"

"I will," Merlin promised.

"Good."

They walked together in silence, Merlin rubbing his hands over his arms. If not for Arthur he could have used his magic to keep himself a little warm. Instead he had to freeze little by little as they made their way towards the castle and for what? Because Arthur had suddenly become worried about his chastity? None of it made any sense.

He noticed the tower not far now and sighed in relief. He'd survived another winter evening. "Well, thanks for being a paranoid prat."

"You think I'm leaving you before you're in the tower?" Judging by the look on his face, he wasn't going to.

"Why wouldn't you?"

Arthur didn't answer. Instead, he shoved Merlin up the steps. Sighing, Merlin kept walking. He was beginning to worry that Arthur was possessed or possibly cursed. There had to be some explanation as to why the prince was incapable of using his brain anymore. And why he wanted Merlin isolated from the rest of the world all of a sudden. "You realize I'm not a toy, right?"

"Tell that to Gareth," Arthur snapped. He shoved the door to the tower open.

Gaius looked up from his worktable. "Prince Arthur?"

"Keep your apprentice safe," Arthur shouted. He grabbed Merlin and pulled him into the room.

"What did you do Merlin," Gaius asked sighing.

"I didn't do anything! Gareth, tried to walk me home."

"And he did nothing to stop Gareth from hanging all over him!"

"Gareth was keeping me warm!"

They glared at each other.

Gaius raised an eyebrow at the two looking back and forth at them.

"I'm not a child," Merlin protested. "If someone wants to hang all over me, and if I'm okay with it, there shouldn't be a problem!"

"Why would you possibly be okay with it," Arthur asked with a look of complete disbelief.

"Because we're friends and it's cold out and he wanted to keep me warm." _Because no one else is going to hold me!_

"So, get your winter clothes already," Arthur yelled.

"I will, but I still don't understand why you don't want Gareth and me to be friends!"

"Friends don't do that!"

"Your friends don't do that," Merlin corrected him. "I have no problem with Gareth pretending I'm the most important person in the world sometimes. Not everyone gets to experience that," he snapped at Arthur.

Arthur looked shocked.

Merlin turned his back on him and ran up the steps into his room.

**(TBC)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I love the chapters, other times I wonder what I’m doing. I’m sure everyone else feels the same. Also, everyone who’s been reviewing, favoriting, kudos, and following, thank you so much! I truly appreciate all the love that’s been given to this fanfic.  
> Notes: (X) pov change and or time jump  
> Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, etc. Merlin/Arthur and Arthur/Merlin

A quick knock was the only warning Gaius got before the door to the tower opened. Uther rushed into the room, alone, which meant whatever they were going to talk about was meant to be kept between the two of them. It was early, even for Uther. Usually if something was bothering the king, he waited until after breakfast to locate him. That he'd woken up and dressed before most of the servants had even begun their day worried him. Uther looked around, his gaze falling onto Gaius. The physician hoped Merlin was still asleep just in case this conversation proved to be of a higher confidential matter.

"My lord, is everything all right?" He set the medicine he was working on down. "Did you need me to make something?"

"I think I've been patient and fair, Gaius." He motioned to the table and sank down into one of the chairs.

 _Well, this can't be good_. "About?" He sat down across from Uther, praying Merlin hadn't done something stupid like having his magic found out. It was more likely that Arthur had requested Merlin replaced as his servant after last night, though. The second Merlin's door had such, he'd noticed an icy rage in the prince's eyes. He'd never seen such a look on Arthur before.

"Please tell me your apprentice will be tending to Arthur today." His voice shook as he spoke, and he fixed Gaius with a begging look.

That was unexpected. "My lord?" He frowned. Uther did not beg. "Yes. He'll be up in probably another ten minutes or so."

A smile crossed Uther's face, and he dropped his head into his hands and sighed. "Thank God."

That definitely didn't sound good. "Not to pry my lord, but why is it so important that Merlin wake the prince up today?"

"I ordered no one to speak of it, only because I trust your judgment Gaius." He lifted his head, looking younger than he had when he'd walked in. "You said he needed three days and so I made sure he received those three days." He let out another shaky sigh. "But another day and I fear the castle, possibly Camelot itself, would no longer be standing."

Gaius arched an eyebrow high, not sure how to answer. Just what had Arthur done last night?

"Arthur's been nothing short of furious these past few days, cruel even. I thought it would pass, but it hasn't. It started when your apprentice fainted."

"And prince Arthur has said nothing as to why he's been acting out?"

"I tried asking, do you know how he answered me?" Gaius shook his head. "He told me if I ever threatened to exile his servant again, he would go with him."

"Well, then…"

"You should have seen the look he gave me after his servant fainted. That apprentice of yours keeps him calm. I don't know how, nor do I care, but I do know when your apprentice is missing from his side, he is impossible to deal with. I think in Arthur's mind, he believes that servant is his responsibility, dare I say, he thinks of him as a friend."

"At the risk of speaking out of line. You have called me your friend."

"Of course."

"So, wouldn't it stand to reason that prince Arthur believes it alright to consider my apprentice his friend?" It wasn't one of his best arguments, but Uther seemed stressed out enough. Telling him his only heir seemed to have fallen for Merlin would only send him further over the edge and earn Merlin a trip into exile or worse. "And Merlin has gone as far as to drink poison for him."

"I suppose so. Arthur said the same thing to me when your apprentice collapsed the other day."

"I promise, Merlin will be there to wake prince Arthur up and any worries he may have about Merlin's health will be laid to rest."

Uther nodded, his gaze going to Merlin's door. "Gaius… why on earth did you take on such a stupid apprentice?"

Gaius grimaced. "Believe it or not my lord, he's rather skilled when it comes to medicine."

"Interesting…. By any chance do you have a strong stress reducing elixir available?"

"My lord, I've had to share my room with Merlin for the last three days. Of course, I have some made." Gaius stood up and retrieved one of the elixirs. He offered the bottle to Uther, who took it and swallowed it in a single gulp, a look of surprise on his face. "Forgive me if that was too sweet, my lord. I believe that was one I made for Merlin."

"That was honey?"

"Yes, Merlin believes people are sick enough already when they need medicine, why should the taste of their medicine make it worse?"

"Huh…" He set the vial onto the table. "I suppose he is capable of using his brain. Thank you, Gaius."

Gaius watched Uther leave. For some reason it seemed to be taking the king hours instead of minutes to make it to the door. When Gaius was sure he couldn't hear, he ran for Merlin's bedroom. "Merlin, get up." He rapped on the door. "Merlin! You're going to be late waking up prince Arthur!"

**(X)**

Merlin let out a groan. "I don't like Arthur anymore! Belden can wake him up from now on!" He pulled his pillow over his head. How could Gaius expect him to wake Arthur up after last night? He'd been so sure they'd fixed the issue of Merlin spending time with the knights, and then last night had happened. Gareth and Merlin could do whatever they want, they didn't need Arthur's permission. He wasn't five. He technically wasn't even a lowly servant. He was the court physician's apprentice, the strongest warlock to ever live, and the second half a particularly important prophecy. No one knew it yet, but Arthur was his equal and equals didn't get to order each other around!

"Merlin!"

"Ugh!" He sat up in bed and glared at the door. "Belden has managed to wake him up the last three days! One more won't kill him!" He pulled his pillow into his arms and hugged it, wishing it still smelled of Arthur. He'd promised himself not to be a creep though and had washed all his beddings that same day. Not that he hadn't crawled into the bed and enjoyed himself for a few minutes before he'd scrubbed them clean.

The door opened, Gaius poking his head in. "Belden isn't your replacement. He's another victim of yours and prince Arthur's fight!"

"We're not fighting! I just don't want to deal with him anymore!"

"That's the same thing, Merlin." He gave the room a quick look over before stepping into it. "King Uther just left. He wanted to make sure it would be you dealing with prince Arthur today."

Uther had wanted to make sure _he_ woke Arthur up? That _he_ was Arthur's primary servant for the day? "Why would Uther of all people want to make sure _I_ woke up Arthur? He doesn't like me." And that was an understatement. If Uther thought he could get away with sending Merlin off without Arthur getting upset, he would. He'd tried it once. Luckily Arthur had questioned where Merlin was going, and the king had no choice but to drop his plan.

"Because you put him in a foul mood last night."

"Are you joking!? He was being unreasonable!"

Gaius glared at him. "Merlin. Do everyone in this castle a favor. Go wake up prince Arthur! Make everything right with him so he can have a perfect evening with lady Morgana."

Muttering, Merlin climbed out of bed. Gaius looked satisfied and left him to change into some clean clothes. He pulled on a long-sleeved shirt and then a short-sleeved one, followed by his usual jacket. It wasn't perfect, but it helped fight the cold. When he finished, he left his room, grabbed an apple from the bowl the knights had given him during his downtime and left the tower, refusing to say anything to Gaius. How could his uncle take Arthur's side?

Belden would be getting Arthur's breakfast and if last time were of any indication, he'd already have his clothes set out too. There was no reason Arthur needed him in his room now or ever again. Why couldn't he just tell Arthur he needed to become Gaius's full-time apprentice? And what was the real reason Uther had decided Merlin needed to be Arthur's servant? Maybe Arthur would still be angry with him from the night before and order him to leave.

"You're back," Maida said. "Thank the heavens. Quick, I've only a moment." She waved Merlin over and gave him a tight hug once he was close enough.

"I was just a bit overworked," he laughed. "I'm fine."

"Yes, I'm sure _you_ are." She fixed him with a look Merlin couldn't identify. "I'll see you later." She hurried off down the hall before he could ask what she meant by that.

He waved at a few of the other servants that passed him since his mouth was full of apple bits. He wasn't sure if he was crazy or if everyone he saw was genuinely relieved to see him.

"Merlin," Durward, the guard that watched Arthur's staircase during the day, said. He grinned from one ear to the other. "Welcome back."

Merlin had to do a double take. Durward had never been openly hostile to him, but he hardly ever spoke, and Merlin couldn't remember the last time he'd seen him smile. "I was only gone for three days."

"...And the castle staff thanks you for coming back." He glanced up the stairs to make sure no one could hear him and lowered his voice. "Please, things aren't the same without you."

"For the love of…" What had Arthur done after he'd left the tower last night? "I'll calm him down, but what is everyone going to do when Gaius pulls me to be his apprentice full time?" Most of the people inside the castle had known Arthur a lot longer than Merlin did. Surely, one of them knew how to handle him when he was in a mood.

A look of fear appeared on Durward's face. "I think I speak for everyone when I say, we hope you'll decline the apprentice position."

"Unbelievable. He's a prat, not a demon." He knew all too well the kind of person Arthur could be when he was angry or frustrated, though _. It can be Morgana's problem after today._ He doubted she would have any problems making Arthur behave. It would be nice not to have to worry about Arthur all the time. Maybe.

 _Ugh, who am I kidding?_ He would always want to protect Arthur. He wanted to be the only one able to calm Arthur down. The second he lost that position he'd be angry and depressed.

He started up the stairs wondering if this had been a one-day rampage or a three-day extravaganza, which was possible, but unexpected. Arthur had been pleasant when he'd left the first evening and hadn't come back afterwards. There was nothing Merlin could have done to set him off for a three-day rampage. The servants seemed too nervous for it to have been just one night though. And hadn't Gareth told him last night that Arthur had been acting out the day before? He'd thought it had simply been an issue of Arthur refusing Belden's help. Now he was beginning to think Gareth had left out some particularly destructive behaviors Arthur had been partaking in.

Would Morgana and Arthur get together after tonight? That's what Gaius was hoping for. He dropped his head against Arthur's door. Morgana would never agree to date Arthur, but eventually someone would. And he didn't want to be around when it happened, but he didn't want to leave either. He couldn't. Arthur was too much a part of his life

Merlin heard a soft click _. Maybe someone is going to shoot me with a crossbow and put me out of my misery._ He waited patiently for the arrow to sink into his back _. At least I know why Uther wanted me up here so badly._ Another click. _Today, please. If you can't shoot a standing target point blank in the back, maybe you shouldn't be an assassin._ More soft noises and then Merlin's balance gave. He screamed and fell forward, tensing his body for the impact. He heard another scream in front of him. _Arthur!_ He tried to get up, but couldn't catch his breath _. Move!_ _It's one thing to kill me, but Arthur has to live!_

"Ugh…." Merlin felt pressure on his back. "Why can't you ever wake me up like a normal person?"

Merlin's eyes snapped open and locked with Arthur's, his face burning so badly, he might as well be on fire. Arthur was under him, his arms wrapped tightly around him, their faces only centimeters apart. "Oh! I, I um!" _This is so unfair! I'd have rather been shot._ He groaned and dropped his head down on Arthur's chest.

"M, Merlin!? Are you okay!? I told Gaius, you needed more time! People don't just faint and recover that quickly!" Arthur seemed unsure if he should actually get up or not, half moving before lying back down again when Merlin groaned.

 _If I don't get up, I never will_. "N, no. I'm fine. I was thinking and... Why did you open the door," he asked, lifting his head back up.

"Why were you hitting your head against my door?!"

"Was I?" He must have been doing it without realizing it.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Now let me up."

Arthur laughed and started to move.

"Ahhh!"

CRASH!

Merlin and Arthur jumped. Merlin threw his arms around Arthur's neck and buried his face into his chest while Arthur's grip tightened around him again.

"I'm sorry, my lord! I didn't know!"

"Belden," Merlin and Arthur asked in union. They looked at the younger servant. He was on the floor, his back against the wall and a look of confused terror on his face. Arthur's breakfast covered the floor, grapes rolling towards them, the tray upside down next to Belden's feet.

"Well, I'm not sure what I expected," Arthur sighed. "I never have a normal morning when you're around," he said, glaring at Merlin.

"I'm so sorry, my lord," Belden said. "I'll go get another tray and I'll clean this up!" He scrambled to his feet and bolted down the steps without looking back.

"Well, great job Merlin. You managed to ruin my breakfast, wake me in a new, but still chaotic way, and traumatize poor Belden all within ten minutes. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"That you shouldn't open your door until you're sure you can handle what's on the other side," Merlin said grinning.

"You aren't blaming this on me!" He glared at Merlin. "Why aren't you getting up?"

"You're still holding me down."

The glare vanished, replaced by a look of utmost embarrassment. _This can't be happening._ Hesitantly, Arthur removed his arms.

"Merlin?"

"Yeah?"

"You have to get up before I can."

"R, right!" He climbed off Arthur and onto his feet, wishing he could have enjoyed himself longer. _Happy Sweets day to me,_ he thought, beaming. It was better this way, though. If they remained on top of each other any longer, Merlin might have conveniently forgotten about ranks or prophecies. Not that it said anywhere in the prophecy that they couldn't fall in love with each other. It was probably in there the prophet just hadn’t thought it necessary to mention it. How wrong that Prophet had been.

Arthur got to his feet and staggered towards his bed.

Merlin watched him go, his grin fading as the reality of the prince's room hit him. The room looked like Arthur had tried to hold a dueling tournament in it. Clothes were tossed everywhere, on the table, on the bed, under the bed. One of Arthur's helmets was wedged into the drawer as far as it could go, which wasn't far. One wrong move and the drawer would hit the floor. The few books Arthur actually read were in different corners of the room. A pillow with a hole and feathers protruding out of it sat next to one book. A set of bedsheets hung from Arthur's dressing screen and for some reason, there was a plate of half-eaten fruit on the windowsill, the window cracked open. _Is he feeding stray fairies?_ It was the only explanation he could think of despite how crazy that would be.

"What happened!?" The more he looked the worse it seemed to get. Wine stains covered parts of the curtains. Judging by the trajectory, Arthur had thrown his goblet at the window. Another stain covered the floor by the table. He noticed scratch marks on the floor where the chair had been jerked out. And somehow, somehow Arthur had put a hole in the shape of a perfect circle into the stone wall by his closet.

"It's been a long week," Arthur mumbled. He was sitting on the side of his bed and staring at the blank wall in front of him.

_Wasn't there a tapestry hanging there when I left!?_

"Why does it look like you went to war in here and lost!?"

"It's not that bad."

"Did you go blind while I was gone too? If this got any worse, we'd need the royal hunting dogs to find you in here!"

"I wasn't sure you'd come…."

"So, you thought it would be okay to, I don't even what to call this!" He took a few cautious steps forward. "Just what have you been doing?" Even with his imagination he couldn't come up with proper explanations for all the damage the poor room had withstood.

"I haven't done anything!"

"Arthur, you ran your sword through your closet door all the way to the hilt!"

Arthur looked towards his closet, a look of surprise on his face. "I don't remember doing that."

"That doesn't make it any better! Did you get drunk last night?"

Arthur fixed a glare at him. "If I did, it's because you drove me to it!"

Merlin stared as Arthur's words slowly processed in his head. "I have people who betted on me not lasting a week as your servant, who let me know all the time how _horrible_ I am at my job. Those people are _thanking_ me for coming back. If one of us should have been driven to drinking it should be me!"

"There were people betting on how long you'd last," Arthur asked. He did not look pleased.

"I betted I'd last over two years and won quite a bit of money," he said proudly. "But you're missing the point."

Arthur shook his head. "You should have told me. I would have stopped them."

Merlin thought he might have seen a blush on Arthur's cheeks. "It was all in good fun. I bought a bunch of books with that money." Books he'd enjoyed a great deal. "So out with it, what's this about?"

"Nothing. I'm no different than usual."

Merlin snorted. "Yes, of course. Your room always looks like a battle broke out in it."

"If you're only here to insult me, get out!"

"Don't tempt me." He blinked a few times when he saw all the outfits Belden had laid out. There were at least thirteen of them. No one needed thirteen options. He turned back to Arthur and sat down next to him on the bed. "Arthur look at me." The prince did so, and Merlin could see how troubled he appeared. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know," Arthur muttered. "I've been so frustrated about everything lately… I think part of me was worried you weren't coming back..."

"Why would you think that?" Even if the idea had passed through his mind quite often lately, he knew he'd never go through with it. You couldn't just ditch the person your entire destiny circled around protecting. Especially when every other person on the planet wanted to take a chance at killing the one you were in charge of protecting.

"Ever since you started training under Huon things have been strained between us. We've been friends for over two years now and yet, I feel we were closer when we first met then we are now." He let out a long sigh. "And when I tried to close that distance this past week, I realized just how hard that was. It's like you've become the center of everyone's world, and I can't even get close to you anymore."

 _He's a lot more observant than we give him credit for sometimes_. "Arthur, it doesn't matter if we're close or not, I'll always be by your side making sure you're safe."

"It matters to me," he shouted and stood up. "And you expect me to believe you'll be by my side when Gaius pulls you to be his apprentice full time? Because we both know he will and probably sooner than later!"

Merlin scrunched up his face. "You're mad because I'm Gaius's apprentice?"

"What!? No!" He frowned. "Maybe."

Belden knocked on the door and entered with the tray, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. He set the food on the table and backed away quickly. "I'm going to go clean up the first tray," he said, running out of the room.

"Well," he said, trying to hide his own blushing face now. "Just eat your breakfast, my lord. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"I'm holding you to that promise. I had enough problems tracking you down during your flight of fancy back to Ealdor."

"You can hardly blame me for that."

"I very well can blame you. We had to backtrack a full hour after finding out you were gone!"

"You mean when you realized I was gone. Morgana caught me leaving. I had to tell her." He smiled at him.

Arthur picked up a grape and chucked it at him.

"Hey!" He stood up and threw the grape back at Arthur. It hit him on the top of his head and then fell onto the table. "Well, I suppose I'd best get to it. This room won't clean itself." Though if he could get Belden and Arthur out of the room, he could clean it much faster with magic. At the least, he could fix the holes and remove the wine stains. "I still can't believe you managed this in three days."

"Watch it, Merlin. I'd be more than happy to make it worse."

"Drop one more thing onto this floor and you'll be cleaning the room," he warned him. He turned back to Arthur, the prince smirking at him and holding an apple a few centimeters from the floor.

"Are you threatening me, Merlin? You shouldn't threaten the prince of Camelot."

"You're a prat before you're a prince," Merlin said. "The sooner you realize that the better off you'll be my lord."

Arthur's mouth twitched, and he put the apple back down on the tray. He put a rolled-up piece of ham into his mouth and got up. "Alright, where should I start?"

"Can I trust you to clean?"

"I made this mess it would be wrong to make you two clean it up alone."

"The sword and helmet," Merlin said at once. "And don't drop the drawer onto your foot.

Belden entered the room with the fallen food, his eyes widening when he saw Arthur pulling the sword out of the closet door.

"My lord! Merlin and I are more than capable! Please eat your breakfast." He set the tray on the table and tried to grab the sword. Arthur easily held it out of reach.

"Calm down, Belden. I'm perfectly capable of handling my weapon." Laughing, he dropped the sword onto his bed and carefully removed the helmet from his drawer. When it was safely out, he closed it. "See?"

"But you're the prince," he protested.

"According to Merlin, I'm a prat." He put the helmet down next to the sword and started putting the randomly thrown clothes into a pile.

"You are a prat. But you're working your way to prince again. Pick out your clothes for the day so we can get the rest put back into the closet."

"I need two sets. One for training and one for when I go see Morgana. What color do I look best in?"

Merlin almost said bare flesh and thought better of it. "I believe Morgana likes you in red."

"I didn't ask you what Morgana likes."

"You're going on a date with Morgana."

"I'm spending the day with you."

"Wearing armor," Merlin said, rolling his eyes.

"Merlin," he whined and when Merlin looked, saw he was giving him puppy eyes.

"Blue. It brings out your eyes," Merlin muttered. "You're scaring Belden." The poor servant had sat down at the table and was holding his head in his hands.

"Belden." The servant slowly looked up. "You're a hard worker and you take everything into consideration ahead of time. You've woken me up like a normal person every day. You never dropped my food on top of me. I…" He took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm sorry I've been acting like an arse."

"My lord, no! There's nothing to apologize about! I'm just a servant!"

"All the more reason I should apologize. Your job is to help make my life easier and yet all I did was make everything harder for you. I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry."

With the three of them working together, they got the room cleaned quick enough. Arthur changed his clothes in record time, into a blue tunic, and by himself even. Merlin and Belden grabbed all three trays, and they descended the stairs.

"My lord," Durward said.

"Morning Durward," Arthur said, giving the guard a quick look before moving on. Merlin swore the guard looked like he was going to cry tears of joy.

Arthur walked ahead of them, humming, and returning any greeting given to him.

"It's like he's a different person," Belden whispered in awe.

"I found out what was really bothering him." To think Arthur had worried about him leaving his side. He smiled as Arthur stopped to speak with Gwen. "I'll take the other tray, Belden. You can go outside with Arthur. I'll meet…" he trailed off as Belden's face grew darker.

"No." He pulled the other two trays from Merlin's hands roughly and put them on top of the one he was holding. "If I've learned anything this week, Arthur has one servant. You."

"Belden—"

"Merlin, the prince Arthur you bring out," he nodded towards the prince. He and Gwen were laughing so hard, tears were running down Gwen's face. "That's because of you, maybe for you. But one thing's for sure, he's your problem." He threw his nose into the air and started towards the kitchen.

"Well, that's not fair." Smiling, he joined Arthur and Gwen.

"A miracle I didn't hit my head."

"No kidding!" She saw Merlin and hit his arm. "Your first day back and you've already put prince Arthur's life in danger!"

"You know me. I like to keep things interesting." He'd thought Arthur would keep their little crash to himself, but he seemed genuinely amused by it. "My lord, the knights will probably be here soon."

"Right. I guess we shouldn't keep them waiting."

"Arthur wasn't a prat to you, was he Gwen?"

"Of course not. I like Gwen."

A small blush tinted Gwen's cheeks. "My lord," she said, bowing her head. "Thank you for worrying Merlin, but prince Arthur's been nothing but nice to me."

"Good."

"Come on Merlin," Arthur said, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the nearest exit. "The knights are probably waiting now."

Merlin gaped at him. "You're the one who had to re account your entire morning!"

**(X)**

Merlin watched the knights from the sidelines as usual, walking the perimeter because it was to cold to remain in one spot. Every exhaled breath brought a cloud of smoke from his mouth and made him think of his winter clothes trapped at the seamstress until he released them. He honestly didn't know why he had to stay, anyway. Belden was doing a splendid job of handing Arthur his weapons, and Arthur was behaving now. Had he really just been worried Merlin wouldn't come back? Besides running back to Ealdor that one time, he'd always stayed by Arthur's side. Perhaps Arthur just had abandonment issues.

"Belden!" The teen flinched.

Gareth stepped forward and when he saw Merlin, he brought his hand to his lips and blew him a kiss. "This win is for you," he shouted to him.

"For the love of." Merlin grinned at him. "What do I get out of it," he shouted back.

Gareth was silent a moment. "A new blanket since I ruined your other one?"

"Deal!"

Belden nearly went over the fence as Arthur jerked the shield from his hands. He stormed towards Gareth cursing the knight as he went. _Oh, come on._ Merlin sighed, jogging over to the teen. "Are you okay?"

"Stop flirting with Sir Gareth," Belden shouted as he cradled his arm.

"Gareth and I are friends. He's engaged to Lady Elizabeth." He looked over Belden's arm. "It's not broken."

"You don't see it, do you!?" He looked shocked.

"See what?"

"You've been flirting with Gareth all week, haven't you?"

"We're just joking around."

Scowling, Belden grabbed Merlin and forced him to look at the duel. Gareth and Arthur's swords connected. Arthur's movements were erratic, and he didn't seem to be following any of his usual strategies, more like he was running on raw emotion.

"What? Gareth, must have said something to send him into a rage."

Belden stared at him for a second. "He's mad at what _you_ said! How can you not see that!?"

"You're mad. He has a date tonight with Morgana. I'm Arthur's servant, not his boyfriend."

"I... I'm done," Belden said.

Merlin grabbed Belden's shoulder. He couldn't let him run off until he understood. "Belden, whatever you're thinking, _it doesn't matter_. I'm Arthur's _servant_ ," he said, stressing each word he thought important.

"He cares about you." Belden sounded just like the knights did when they spoke of this situation. Just what he needed, more pity.

"Even if by chance he did, it changes nothing."

"Even so… can't you give him a break and not joke as you call it in front of him?"

"Gareth and I are just friends."

"What are you two doing," Arthur snapped from behind them. Both servants jumped and Belden pulled away from Merlin quickly. "It looks like the two of you are confessing your love over here," he growled.

 _For the, why couldn't Uther just have hired an assassin for this morning?_ "I'm explaining to Belden why Gareth owes me a blanket," Merlin said. He would show Belden he was being foolish. "Not proclaiming any feelings of love. I hardly know him."

"Why does he owe you a blanket," Arthur asked. His worry over a possible love confession seemed to have died with Merlin's words. That suited Merlin just fine. He didn't need Arthur accusing him of dating yet another person that he wasn't dating.

"He accidentally set mine on fire the other night."

Belden and Arthur looked at him.

"Did you get burned," Arthur finally asked.

"No. He brought my blanket out of my room and the edge of it went into one of the braziers Gaius had burning." He grinned, remembering the event. "He didn't even notice! Lancelot was screaming at him and trying to get around the table to help. Gwaine tackled him to the floor to get the blanket out of his hands right before it burned him. Gaius had to dump a bunch of elixirs on the flames because he ran out of water. Luca started stomping on it." He kept the part where in the end he'd had no choice but to use his magic to stop it to himself. He could still hear Gaius screaming at him to stop being a worthless lump and to put the fire out.

"There's never a dull moment around you, is there," Arthur asked.

"Would you rather I die of boredom?"

"Might do you some good."

"Maybe, but if these past few days proved anything it's that it wouldn't do _you_ any good."

Arthur tore his helmet off, his eyes boring into Merlin's own. How he'd missed that fire in Arthur's eyes. Arthur moved right up to the fence. Belden took another step back, dropping his eyes while Merlin watched. Arthur stopped and lowered his face inches from Merlin's own.

"I swear, one day you're going to say the wrong thing and I'll be forced to throw you in the dungeon," he said, smirking.

Merlin tilted his head, looking at him questioningly. "I think we both know I've spent more than enough time in the dungeon to know it's not correcting my behavior." He loved it when they could joke like this. "You'll just have to face it, my lord. Give up or have me pressed already."

"Merlin," Arthur said. He dropped his helmet to the ground and hopped the wooden fence with ease. "I'd never let anyone kill you. Not by chance and never by order."

"Right…" _Except you would if you knew the truth._

"So, don't joke like that." He looked far more serious about this than he should. "Are you sure you're alright?" He closed the distance between them and examined Merlin, top to bottom. "If you need more rest, go back to the tower. Belden can finish up here." He grabbed Merlin's wrist, gently.

Merlin managed a small nod. "It's fine. There's only an hour left."

"You're sure?" He nodded again. "You aren't lying or following some stupid advice from Huon, right?"

"You told me not to," Merlin said.

"And I meant it," Arthur said. "I warned my father the other night to stop the nonsense, or I'd leave Camelot with you..."

Merlin's head snapped up. "What!?"

"I told you earlier, Merlin. I won't lose you." He gave Merlin a full smile that lit his entire face up and released his wrist before he jumped back over the fence. Merlin watched him go, admiring his backside when he bent over to grab his helmet and then as he jogged towards the other knights.

"You're not going to tell me that wasn't a confession!"

Merlin sighed and gave Belden a firm look. "You aren't listening to me. Arthur could ask me to marry him, it wouldn't matter, because I'm his servant. Uther would never hear of it. He's the only heir to the throne." He ticked off the list Gaius often reminded him of. "I'd be executed on the spot by Uther's orders and Arthur can't, nor would he, disobey his father. If all goes well tonight, Arthur and Morgana will end up courting and I can finally be Gaius's apprentice full time."

Belden gasped. "You just told him you wouldn't!"

"I told him I wouldn't leave him, not that I would stop studying medicine." He leaned against the fence and stared at Belden. "Do you understand now? I can't be Arthur's servant after he falls for someone. It'll hurt too much."

Belden nodded. He looked frustrated; his hands gripped into fists. "The knights know, don't they?" He leaned onto the fence next to Merlin. "Gareth's internationally provoking him."

"Gareth likes to provoke everyone."

"I'd rather not have gotten dragged into this," he muttered.

"Me too." Merlin didn't have the heart to tell Belden he would probably be his replacement when the time came. Best to let him think he was spared for now.

**(TBC)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was quite fun.  
> Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, etc. Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

This chapter was quite fun.

Warnings: It's shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, etc. Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin

Notes: **(X)** is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 7

"Ugh. Today was brutal," Merlin groaned, walking into the tower. He hadn't thought he'd be so happy to see the inside of the tower again so soon after being stuck inside of it for three days, but Arthur's constant, unintentional tugging at his heart had not been easy to handle. "I thought Arthur had been a behaved little prince while I was here," he sighed. "Instead, I find out he's been acting like a complete arse while I was recovering. Belden was one step away from hysterics all day and don't even get me started on what his room looked like. How does someone put a perfect circular hole into their wall with a chair?! And he opened his door without warning, so I fell on top of him. Belden realized what's going on. Really, I just want to have dinner and climb into bed. Maybe run back to Ealdor and never look back."

"Do _not_ sit," Gaius warned him as he walked towards Merlin.

Merlin was half squatted over the chair and looked at Gaius. "Why not?" He found it strange that Gaius wasn't working and even stranger that he had his winter cloak on this early in the day.

"I will not be held responsible for you getting sick again!” He grabbed the back of Merlin's coat and straightened him up into a full standing position. "We're going to go get your winter clothes."

"Why can't we eat first? You just heard about the awful day I had. I had to pretend to use clay to fix the hole. I had to get the wine stains out of his curtains by scrubbing them!" He tried to give Gaius puppy eyes and failed. He had too many thoughts of Arthur holding him running through his head to hold the look.

"Because the kingdom as a whole cannot afford for you to get sick again!"

"Did you know he's been acting like a spoiled prat?" He wasn't sure if he should be grateful if Gaius did and kept it from him or, no. He was grateful.

"No, I was informed this morning by king Uther."

"That is bad." He grinned despite it all. It was such a delightful feeling to know that Arthur went on pointless rampages when he wasn't around. Even better, the rampages scared Uther. "Arthur did mention something about telling Uther if I was exiled that he'd go with me. And you should have seen how tight he was holding me earlier."

Gaius eyed him. "Merlin, that's not a good thing."

Merlin snorted. "For Uther and Camelot, maybe. It was perfectly good for me. Besides, I was owed that hug. Do you know how many people were practically dancing when they saw that I'd come back?"

He looked at Merlin hard and let out a sigh. "Maybe I shouldn't bother…."

"With what?" There were so many things Gaius could bother with. Just when he thought his uncle was going to explain, Gaius grabbed his ear.

"Come on."

"Ow, ow, stop! I need that!"

"Then you'll keep up, won't you?"

**(X)**

Arthur glanced down at the decorative box in his hand that Merlin had given him the night before as he paced back and forth. He was the bravest person in Camelot, so why was this so hard?

 _I should have gotten Merlin to deliver it_. But there were so many reasons why he couldn't trust Merlin to give Morgana the necklace. He might break it, lose it, accidentally give it to the wrong girl, get lost and end up at a tavern and never deliver it. And those were just the worries off the top of his head.

Besides, if he was being honest with himself, he was angry with Merlin. He wasn't quite sure why, but watching Gareth blow Merlin a kiss and then Merlin putting his arm around Belden. It was all too much. Belden was too young for him, and Merlin knew Gareth was toying with him! So why did he keep allowing physical contact from everyone…!?

 _And why everyone but me!?_ The thought confused him even more.

"DAMNIT!" He slammed his fist into the wall, his body shaking. Why was he so upset about everything!? They had agreed. After hours, Merlin was free to do as he pleased, not as his servant, but as Merlin or as Gaius's apprentice when need be. He couldn't be this angry because Merlin had flirted during his servant shift. Technically, he'd done his job, but somehow that didn't make it any better _. I'm still the prince. I can still tell them both to stop…._

But Merlin would hate him for weeks afterwards if he ordered them to stop. He'd found that out the hard way last night. _I can't…_ He'd never admit it out loud, but he'd been sure he'd pushed Merlin too far last night and that had terrified him. If Merlin hadn't shown up this morning. If he'd left for good…. He leaned against the wall, trying to get his emotions under control.

"Arthur?" Morgana was standing next to him with a clear look of concern on her face and no wonder. He hadn't even heard her open the door and step out of her room. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes," he said. How could he explain himself when he wasn't even sure what was going on? "I…" He shoved the box into her hands. "Happy Sweet's day," he blurted.

"Oh, you actually remembered," she smirked. Her expression fast became a look of awe as she opened the box. "I've never seen such a beautiful necklace in my life," she breathed. "Where did you get it?"

"Believe it or not, Merlin, Lancelot, and Gwaine are talented craftsmen."

"It's simply amazing…. And that's an Orchid… you remembered." She ran her fingers over the delicate pieces of twisted metal. "I um, I let Gwen go early, her and Lancelot have a date," she said, her eyes flickering up to him. "Could you help me try it on?" Morgana had a shy, but hopeful look on her face that looked oddly familiar, but not on her, meaning he'd also seen it on Merlin. "Arthur?" He jumped and moved behind her. "Are you sure you're, all right? Did something happen?"

"I don't know," he admitted. He moved her hair, finding both clasps, and frowned. How in the world did you connect the two pieces? He began to fumble with them, yelling from outside eroding his concentration.

"Is there a fight going on?"

"Someone is definitely yelling," Arthur said. Somehow, he got the two pieces to connect. "Got it," he said, full of pride at the small accomplishment. He'd have to let Merlin know he'd beat his riddle contraption. At least he'd done something right today.

Morgana rushed to the nearest window and let out a laugh. "It's Gaius," she said.

"Gaius? He usually isn't yelling unless…" _Merlin._ He went to the other side of the window and looked down.

Gaius was walking towards the gate that led into town, practically dragging Merlin by the ear, Merlin trying to keep up.

"Of all the stupid things you've done! What would you have done if not for Prince Arthur!? Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Because I knew you'd be angry," Merlin yelled back. "OW!"

"Poor Gaius. What did you save Merlin from today?"

"The floor." He didn't think Gaius would be dragging Merlin out of the castle over that, though. Neither of them had cracked their skulls or broken any other bones. "We had training and Merlin thought it would be funny to hang on Belden and have Gareth blow kisses at him." He couldn't stop the anger creeping into his voice. Everyone but him got to hang all over Merlin. _That's not completely true,_ he thought, remembering that morning. Merlin's stupid head knocking, the two of them falling. He'd held Merlin, actually held him, and he'd immediately understood why everyone else wanted to do the same. Hugging Merlin was different than hugging anyone else. He was warm and relaxing. Holding him just somehow felt right. The way he'd tensed up when Belden had dropped the tray had been almost cute. Okay, it had been cute. Arthur had been ready to lie his life down to protect him had it been an actual threat, but given the lack of screams or sword clashing, he'd been pretty sure everything was okay and he'd been right. And he'd been able to use Belden's sudden scream as an excuse to hug Merlin tighter.

_Stop i!._

"And I wasn't invited?"

Arthur glared at her. It'd taken all his self-control not to go crazy when he'd seen Merlin's arm around Belden. Belden was in the same social ranking as Merlin. No one would think twice or tell them they couldn't be together _. No, Belden is younger than Merlin by plenty of years,_ he tried to convince himself. Only Belden was fifteen and Merlin was…

He could feel the blood draining from his face. There was only five days before Merlin's birthday. Merlin was still only nineteen, and he had no idea if Belden had turned fifteen this year or would be turning sixteen.

"Did you want to go check on him?" The concern was back into Morgana's voice.

Arthur turned away from the window just as Gaius and Merlin vanished through the gate.

"You don't mind?" It would be rude for him to run off, but he needed to make sure Merlin was okay. He also needed to find a suitable gift for him since his idiot servant had forgotten to mention his birthday was coming up. No, not a suitable gift, one of the best gifts he could find. A gift that would put everyone else's to shame.

 _I'm the bloody prince of Camelot. Why do I have to compete for my servant's affection!?_ He shoved the thought so fast into the deepest part of his mind he wasn't even sure he'd really thought it.

"Considering the gift, you just gave me, I hardly have room to protest. Besides, I want to know what kind of trouble Merlin got himself into this time." She smiled at him.

"Technically, he's been dismissed for the day, he's Gaius's problem until tomorrow morning, so I don't have to go." He really wanted to though.

"I was under the impression you helped your people when they were in need of it."

"I doubt I could give Merlin the help he needs even if I was the king," Arthur sighed.

"We both know your mind won't be here until you find out what's going on with Merlin."

She was right, and he was grateful that she understood. "I'll be back after I'm sure Gaius isn't taking him into the woods and leaving him there."

"Take all the time you need, but I'm sure he'd find his way back."

"I'm not."

He tried to think of everything that had happened that morning and afternoon that would have caused Gaius to get angry. Merlin had been rested and questioned his every move. He'd scolded him for being the arse he'd been lately to everyone, forced him to apologize to Belden, and then threatened to ruin all his swords if he ever let his room get into such a horrible state again. And he'd had fun. He'd relished every insult, threat, and just being in Merlin's presence in general.

 _Do I….?_ But that was impossible. He couldn't like Merlin. Not like that. Could he?

"Arthur, go get him," Morgana said.

Arthur nodded and ran down the hall.

**(X)**

"Are you happy," Merlin demanded. He now had five boxes he was going to have to carry back to the castle, and his ear really hurt. Why couldn't he have a servant or an apprentice? He was going to be the strongest magic wielder of all time. That had to count for something! Someone could have at least let him have a donkey to haul packages around.

"No," Gaius said, his voice even. He folded his arms across his chest and glared at Merlin.

"What now!?" He'd paid for the clothes and apologized to Pierson for making him wait so long for his payment. He'd even given him extra for holding them so long after the original pickup date.

"Pick one of those tunics out and put them on before you freeze to death walking back!" His look promised Merlin a proper beating with one of the boxes if he refused.

"Right," Merlin sighed. He grabbed one of the boxes and stepped behind a changing screen. "If it gets ruined before we get back—"

"Merlin it's you. I'll be happy if they aren't ruined by the time you walk back over here."

"You really should be nicer to me," he said. He slipped his thinner summer shirt off and pulled the new dark blue one on. It was shocking at not only how thick and warm the clothes were, but also at how comfortable.

"Are you okay back there? Do you need some help," Gaius called to him.

"Do I look like the prince?" If there was one thing Merlin had mastered over the years, it was changing clothes.

"Be nice, Merlin. If it wasn't for Prince Arthur paying you for that necklace, you would have been an ice statue before you got your clothes."

"I know," Merlin muttered. He lifted the pair of black pants out of the box and pulled them on after removing his airier summer pair. "You know, these seem far too nice to wear."

"Well, unfortunately Camelot requires you to wear clothes, especially inside the castle."

"You know what I meant!" He dropped his summer clothes into the box, picked it up, and stepped out from behind the changing screen. "Well," he asked, doing a small spin. "Am I warm enough now?"

"No."

Before Merlin could protest, two thick, dark brown gloves hit his face. "Right," he muttered, removing them from his face and slipping them onto his hands. "How about—" Gaius dropped two black boots, just a few inches taller than his summer ones, at his feet. "You'd think I have a date out or something," Merlin grumbled, fighting with the boots now.

"You do have a date out," Gaius said.

"I do," Merlin asked, looking up, his expression brightening. "I thought we were staying home."

"Now that you won't freeze to death, I thought I'd treat you to some dinner at the new tavern. The one that specializes in food instead of drink?"

Merlin grinned, climbing back to his feet. The new tavern had only opened a week ago, and he hadn't had a chance to stop in. The owner had supposedly worked for a nobleman up north and was a wonderful chef. He'd heard some of the other servants going on about it.

"Now put on your coat and we can go."

Nodding, Merlin opened the third box. He pulled out the dark brown coat and slipped it on. It fit perfectly like all the other items but was longer than he was used to. It stopped only a few inches from his ankles.

"It's huge!"

"You'll get used to it," Gaius said. "You're outside a lot between the training, helping me gather ingredients, hunting trips. You have to stay warm."

He remembered getting measured for a coat, but he never imagined it'd be this big. "I'm going to sweat to death in this," he said.

"It's lined with wool," Gaius explained.

"This really seems like too much."

"You've been here two years and haven't bought a single piece of clothing. You were long overdue."

"I guess. Should servants really be dressed up this nicely?"

"As the prince's personal servant, yes. Have you not noticed how Huon dresses?"

"I try not to," he admitted. Huon had brought up the way he dressed constantly. He'd told the older servant he couldn't afford better clothes. Huon had accepted his explanation but hadn't stopped harassing him about it. He and Uther's other servants had reminded him every private lesson he'd endured before Arthur had saved him.

A smile found its way onto his face. Arthur had saved him and gone as far as threatening Uther for his sake. If he hadn't already been in love with Arthur, he would be now.

_I guess as magic incarnate, I should be dressing better. I'm practically the prince, maybe even the king of magic._

"Merlin…" Gaius was looking at him with suspicion. "I know that look all too well. Whatever is going through your head, stop it."

"No, it's a good thought!" He took the other tunic set and placed it into the first box. After some careful organizing, he managed to get everything condensed into three boxes instead of five. He gave the two empty boxes back to the seamster.

"Thank you, Pierson," Gaius called out. "Now I don't have to be ashamed of being seen with him." He opened the door.

"You're welcome, Gaius," Pierson laughed. He waved to them. "Don't ruin those clothes too fast, Merlin. Corliss will be livid if you do. She worked hard on those pants."

"I promise," he said to Pierson, then turned to Gaius and glared at him. "You said I had to buy these for my health!"

Gaius smiled at him. "You needed clothes Merlin."

"I know." He stepped out into the cold, surprised that he barely felt its bite. The last few days leaving any room or building had been like getting punched. "Wow. You know, I could use a blanket made with this," he laughed. "It's quite comfortable."

"We can look into that later. Let's go eat."

"Sure." They started down the street.

"Merlin!"

"Huh?" Merlin stopped Lancelot jogging towards him. "Why aren't you with Gwen? The necklace didn't burst into flames, did it?" He hadn't enchanted it or anything, but accidents happened. Especially with the mental states he'd been in lately.

"What? No," he laughed. "I just stopped by to give you this, as a thank you for helping me with the necklace." He looked at Merlin who was holding the three long boxes to Gaius and gave the box to the physician. "It's an apple pie," he said. "I need to get back to my date. Happy Sweet's day Merlin, Gaius."

"Thanks," Merlin called out. "It's been awhile since we've had pie."

"What a wonderful gesture," Gaius said. "Lancelot is such a considerate man."

"Yes, Lancelot is one of the good people in Camelot," Merlin agreed. It would be nice if he could find someone who was nice like Lancelot. No, the outcast would be better. He'd hate having to lie to someone so nice. What kind of relationship could he even have with all the lies he'd have to tell?

"Gaius?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I could find a druid boyfriend?" There would be no lies if he were with someone who knew the legend and everything else that made him, him.

Gaius frowned. "Merlin, I think—"

"Merlin! Gaius!"

The two of them looked in the direction of the voice.

"Gareth," Merlin laughed. "Lady Elizabeth," he added when he saw her.

"What brings you two out here," Gaius asked.

"A gift," Gareth said. He set the box down on top of Lancelot's box. "It's a cake. Fresh from the bakery. I just couldn't imagine not getting you something to make up for not spending the evening with you." He patted Merlin on the back. "We'll do something tomorrow," he said, winking. He paused then, his eyes trailing across Merlin, a grin breaking onto his face. "You look delectable."

"Gareth," Merlin said, his face burning

"Tomorrow," Gareth repeated.

"See you tomorrow," Merlin said. "Bye lady Elizabeth!"

"Thank you for letting me have my fiancé tonight." She waved at them as Gareth went back to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. They disappeared down the road.

"Well, I guess we have no choice, but to take our packages back and then go to the tavern," Gaius chuckled.

"Yeah, I don't think the tavern would appreciate us bringing our own food."

They started towards the castle.

"Meeerlin," Gwaine called out. He grinned as they approached.

Merlin noticed the box he was holding and frowned. "Not you too, Gwaine."

"Me and Luca," Gwaine laughed. "A couple of meat pies," he said proudly. He set his gift on the other two boxes.

"Apples," Percival said, setting the bag down on the boxes Merlin was holding.

"Really," Merlin demanded. "THIS ISN'T CHRISTMAS!" He sighed as the two knights ran off laughing. "I feel like I'm at the end of some joke."

"They all care for you Merlin. You've helped out each and every one of them. They're merely showing their thanks." He took a step back and to the right as the boxes of food began to shift.

**(X)**

Arthur lunged forward and caught the top two boxes seconds before they slipped. Grinning, he turned and showed Merlin, flashing him a triumphant grin. "Caught them."

Merlin rolled his eyes, a smile forming. "I never would have guessed."

 _I do…_ Of course, he did. It was the only thing that made sense. Somewhere along the line he'd fallen for his idiot servant. No, that wasn't true. Merlin had intrigued him from day one. It just hadn't sunk in. Not until he'd realized just how much competition he had. He'd just taken it for granted that Merlin would always be his and by his side, and so he hadn't even bothered to acknowledge his feelings.

"If not for me, your items would be ruined," he said proudly. He didn't know what was in the boxes, but he'd kept them safe. That had to account for something. If nothing else, it had gotten Merlin to smile.

"It would be a shame for everyone's gifts to get ruined."

Arthur could feel his smile slipping away, his left eye twitching. "Gifts?"

"Yes, you know what gifts are, my lord. You get them all the time. Or are you surprised I received a few?"

"Who would give you a gift," he asked scrunching up his face. He knew there were plenty of people who would want to give Merlin gifts, but none of them mattered. If the gifts weren't from him Merlin should have turned them down or dropped them in the nearest rubbish bin. _Am I that jealous_ , he asked himself.

"The knights," he said. "I feel like they're teasing me."

 _I should have let the boxes hit the ground and accidentally stepped on them._ "They wouldn't do that." Because he would see to their personal tortures if they were teasing his servant. Actually, why wait to see if they were? Gareth could use a few weeks in the dungeon, anyway.

"You know the knights gave you those gifts out of the goodness of their hearts," Gaius said.

Arthur nodded, not because he agreed with Gaius, even if he was probably right, but because he wanted Merlin to remain happy.

"They do seem to enjoy your company," he offered, holding back a scowl. To think he'd have to pretend to hold the knights in high esteem to keep Merlin happy. Merlin shouldn't even be concerned about them; he wanted his servant's eyes on him only. The fact was though, he'd asked Merlin to make Morgana a necklace and had forgotten to get Merlin anything. Not that he'd been exactly aware of his feelings then, and Merlin hadn't gotten him anything. It hadn't even occurred to him that just because he liked Merlin it didn't mean that Merlin liked him back. He was at a complete disadvantage too because he was the bloody prince of Camelot. Merlin was his servant. As far as everyone around them was concerned, their relationship would be impossible. Merlin probably hadn't even given a thought about a possible relationship between them.

 _I still have a chance,_ he told himself. He could show Merlin he was the best choice. He would make the knights regret even thinking about taking Merlin away from him.

"I should hope so," Merlin said, blinking. "We are friends."

"Right," Arthur laughed while wondering if he could justifiably get all the knights locked up for the next month so he could win Merlin's love. Hell, he might not even need that long. A week at most. All he had to do was get Merlin away from everyone else, and he was positive Merlin would choose him. Who wouldn't? He was the prince, he was good looking, he was strong. He'd saved Merlin's sorry arse a few times, though Merlin had undoubtedly saved him more. The knights had done extraordinarily little in that aspect. How many times had Arthur had to lie to keep Merlin safe? Okay, the knights had done that too, but mostly they'd lied to him in sad attempts at keeping Merlin safe. Like he'd ever hurt Merlin. Okay, he'd hurt Merlin the other day, though it had been completely unintentional.

 _What if I'm not good enough?_ He stared at Merlin, his eyes wide. What if Merlin thought he was some crazy, abusive, and overly arrogant jerk and not worth giving his affection to?

"My lord?"

"Prince Arthur, I'm sorry to have troubled you. I'll take the boxes back so you can return to your date with Morgana."

 _Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Gaius?_ "I'm perfectly capable of holding whatever pathetic gifts lay within these boxes," he laughed.

Merlin and Gaius exchanged a look.

"Right… Just put them on top of my mine. I'm used to balancing boxes thanks to your random shopping sprees," Merlin said.

"Which is exactly why you should let me help today."

"No, that's exactly why you should give me the boxes and go back to Morgana," Merlin said. His servant was getting that stubborn look in his eye. Well, two could play at that game. He started towards the tower, Merlin protesting behind him. "Fine! Just don't drop anything!"

 _You'll be lucky if I only drop them,_ he thought, snorting. If he had a way to set them on fire, he would. A shame the nearest well was too far away to justify accidentally dropping the gifts into it.

He noticed Merlin was trailing behind him and slowed his pace until they were side by side. It annoyed him that Merlin wasn't talking. "So, are these Sweet's day gifts or birthday gifts?"

"Sweet's days," Merlin said, looking surprised.

 _Ha!_ "The knights don't even know your birthday is in a few days, do they," he asked smugly.

"I'm surprised _you_ know that," Merlin said. "But no, it's never come up and I have no intention of letting them know."

"Why not?"

"Look at how they reacted to Sweet's day. I don't even want to think about what they'd attempt for my birthday. Besides, I'm a commoner, no one cares what day I was born," he laughed.

"I care," he said.

Merlin looked at him, his cheeks slightly pink. "Thank you…."

 _That wasn't enough time._ They'd already arrived at the tower entrance and Merlin wasn't hanging onto him yet. He didn't want to leave Merlin or go back to Morgana. And he needed more time with Merlin to figure out what the baseline gift was so he could demolish any chance the knights had at wowing Merlin.

"What'd they get you, anyway?" That was indirect enough.

"Gareth brought a cake. Lancelot brought an apple pie. Percival gave us some apples, because we didn't have enough already, and Gwaine and Luca dropped off some meat pies."

Arthur smirked. That wouldn't be hard to top. It wasn't like Merlin and Gaius were starving or anything. He could get Merlin anything and it would be better than their gifts. And since he was the only one who knew Merlin's birthday was coming up, his gift alone would shine, unrivaled. Merlin would be begging him for a date after he presented him with his gift. "They could have gotten you something worthwhile."

Merlin glanced at him as they walked up the stairs. "But I like apples and food made from apples."

"Yes, but it's hardly an acceptable gift for Sweet's day."

"I'm not dating any of them," Merlin said, making a face.

He chuckled at that. No, they weren't, and they never would be because he was going to swoop in and take Merlin for himself.

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head this morning? You're acting weird."

"So, me being in a good mood is weird?"

"If this is what you consider a good mood, yes." They entered the tower. Merlin placed the bag of apples on the table. Arthur did the same with the two boxes he was holding. "Thank you for the help, my lord."

"You're welcome."

"I'll see you tomorrow. I need to put these boxes in my room. Tell Morgana I said hi." He started up the stairs to his room, Arthur watching his every move. Somehow that winter coat he was wearing hugged him in all the right places.

A loud cough had Arthur turning, his face burning. Gaius had caught him staring at Merlin. "Could you be any more obvious, my lord?" Gaius set the box he'd been holding down beside the other gifts.

"I…." He didn't need to explain himself. "It's my choice," he decided.

"So it is."

"Be honest with me Gaius, do I even stand a chance? He's not courting Belden or any of the other servants, is he?"

Gaius gave him a look before his face became unreadable. "No, he's not courting Belden, or anyone else for that matter. Whether you have a chance with him is completely up to you. I doubt he'd refuse your advances, but—"

"But he's a fool, and if I don't say it right out, he won't have a clue, will he?"

Gaius stared at him. Before he could say anything else, Merlin came running back down the stairs, his pace slowing as his eyes fell onto Arthur. "Why are you still here?"

Arthur twitched again and forced a smile. "Because I'm the prince, and while this is Gaius's tower, it's still a part of my castle?"

Merlin rolled his eyes again. "What are you waiting for this month's rent, my lord? Surely you can afford to have your servants bring Morgana a pleasant dinner without bleeding us of any coin we have left."

Merlin looked so serious, he couldn't help laughing. "Neither of you even pay rent," he said, shaking his head. "I wanted to ask you if you had any requests for your birthday."

"Requests? No. I don't need anything."

"Surely there's something you want. It can be anything."

"I don't need anything," he repeated. "It's just another day."

"I'm getting you something whether you ask for it or not, so you might as well tell me."

"Why are you so interested in everything all of a sudden? You didn't care that I was freezing last year, or that I had a birthday, or that the knights were hanging on top of me—"

"They've been hanging on you that long," Arthur demanded. He'd thought this had been a new development.

"Lancelot slept here the first week he was in Camelot," Merlin said. "Actually, the only one who didn't stay with us when they first arrived was Gareth."

Why hadn't anyone informed him of this? There were inns and empty rooms inside the castle. They had a perfectly good roof. The knights could have slept in the alleyways for all he cared. Why had they all ended up in Gaius's tower, so close to Merlin? He let out a breath. It would be okay. "Whenever a new knight shows up from now on, send them to an empty room."

"… That's what you're worried about," Merlin asked.

"Keeping strangers in here isn't safe. Now." He folded his arms across his chest. "What do you want for your birthday?"

Merlin looked like he was struggling internally with his question. Did he really need that many things? "It could be more than one. Price isn't an issue."

"Are you trying to buy me off," Merlin demanded, his face turning red. "I'm not letting you off the hook for being a complete arse the last few days."

It was Arthur's turn to blink. "What?"

**(X)**

This was bad. Merlin didn't know if Arthur really had cracked his skull against the floor that morning or what, but something must have happened, because Arthur didn't act this way. Arthur didn't care about his birthday or anything else about him unless it directly impacted him. Maybe this wasn't the real Arthur? That would explain a lot, but he was in trouble if that was the case. It meant he'd misplaced the real Arthur about two weeks ago and had no idea if he were still alive or who was impersonating this one.

"Arthur, what's the druid boy's name that we saved?"

"What?"

"Just answer me!"

"Mordred," he said, frowning. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head?"

 _Arthur said the druids had promised to never speak of him, sparing Mordred._ That meant this was the real Arthur, didn't it? He looked at Gaius, hoping his eyes conveyed the confusion and desperation he was currently feeling. None of this made any sense. Had he gone too far that morning? Was Arthur going to use his birthday as an illusion for a going away party? They'd all celebrate, the knights would get drunk, and Merlin would wake up in a box somewhere far from Camelot? How could he protect Arthur from a box?

"If I did something to offend you this morning, you deserved it," he said, Arthur glaring at him. Gaius sighed. "But you can't just, I mean. I'm Gaius's apprentice."

"What are you talking about," Arthur asked.

"Even I'm confused," Gaius said.

He bit his lip, looking between the two. How did Gaius not see it? He was supposed to be the smart one! But yelling out that Arthur have been replaced or was trying to send him away would only make things worse.

"Anything at all," he asked, his mind racing.

"If we're talking about your birthday gift, yes," Arthur said. He sounded annoyed.

"I want to stay in Camelot."

"...Have you gone mad," Arthur asked, his face showing his confusion and anger. "Why would you even need to ask for that, you live here!"

"But Uther's always threatening to—"

Rage flashed across Arthur's eyes, and Merlin took a step back. "No one is sending you away."

"For goodness' sake, Merlin. Just tell the prince what you want for your birthday so we can go eat!"

"But I don't know what I want," he admitted. The real Arthur back for starters if he'd been impersonated. Some shield he was if the real Arthur had been replaced and he hadn't noticed. "No one has ever asked me."

"Are you kidding me," Arthur asked, dropping his head into his hand.

"No. I mean, my mother would ask me if I wanted a particular dinner sometimes, but that's it. Commoners don't celebrate birthdays like royalty do unless they're married, and even that's usually limited. We don't have the time or the money to throw away on things like that."

"I bet you can tell me every knight's birthday and what gift you gave them," Arthur said, coldly.

"Well, yes," he admitted. He made it a habit of gathering information like that. Even so, any sort of gift he'd given had been nothing more than minor trinkets. Most of the time he gave them handmade gifts.

"So, you prefer the knights over me? It's okay to exchange gifts with them, but not me?"

"What? No," he said, his face burning. Like he could even afford to buy Arthur anything he'd want, let alone attempt to make him something that he wouldn't laugh at and throw away. "I'm your servant, we're not supposed to exchange gifts."

"Says who?"

"The laws? I don't know," Merlin muttered. "I don't need anything. I have my winter clothes, plenty of food. Gaius. What else could I possibly need?"

"Fine," Arthur said, narrowing his eyes. He closed the distance between them. "I'll show you exactly what you need and then you'll never understand how you lived without it!" He turned on his heel, making one of his 'I'm the almighty prince of Camelot,' departures.

"What just happened!?" He looked at Gaius.

"Just consider your days of freedom numbered. Now let's go eat."

"What did I do?!" And why was his freedom at risk?

"I warned you, Merlin, and I was right. You corrupted the prince, now come on. Before they run out of food."

"But…" He hadn't corrupted Arthur. All he'd done is set him straight that morning. If anything, he'd uncorrupted him! "Gaius!" He ran after his uncle.

**(TBC)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 kind of veered from the original writing. So, I have to tweak things up a bit. I’ll still get to use the other scenes; they’ll just be for something else. The last chapter was supposed to be completely in Merlin’s pov and Arthur wasn’t supposed to get a backbone where his feelings were concerned. But I applaud Arthur for taking over so I can’t complain. Though I do feel like I've lost my mind writing some of this.  
> Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin, yadda. So on. I’m so tired.  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 8

"Where is he?" He couldn't believe Merlin had had the nerve to not show up. Merlin was his servant. It was his job to be there whenever and wherever Arthur needed him, not when it was just convenient for him! But he couldn't deny that Merlin had been acting strange lately. Everything had been strange lately if he thought about it. He didn't have time to worry about that, though. He'd be sure to give his servant a piece of his mind later, after he found him, and once they'd finished training.

He knocked on Gaius's door once and entered. Usually he waited for him to answer first, but this was important. Merlin was avoiding his duties and Arthur couldn't have that.

Gaius looked up from a book he was examining on his worktable. "My lord?"

"Did Merlin forget he has a job," Arthur asked. He started up the stairs to Merlin's room.

"Prince Arthur."

"I'm in a good mood, I won't throw him from the tower window or anything," he promised. He opened the door and froze. The room contained medicinal herbs, vials, books, but no Merlin. In fact, Merlin's bed wasn't even there anymore. He ran down the stairs, Gaius waiting for him at the bottom, a worried look on his face. "Where is he," he demanded.

"Sire, you know Merlin is no longer with us."

No, Arthur did not know this. "When?!"

Gaius frowned. "Are you feeling all right, my lord?"

"Gaius, where's Merlin," he asked very slowly.

"I'm not sure. The last letter he sent said—"

Arthur had heard enough. He stormed out of the physician's tower and ran for the throne room. What had his father done while he'd been asleep? Servants parted as he made his way down the hall. He entered the throne room, his entire body pulsating with rage. How dare he? He'd warned his father, too. If Merlin left, he would too.

"Arthur! Good morning," Uther said more cheerfully than Arthur could ever remember. He hesitated. "It's such a beautiful morning, isn't it?"

His anger returned tenfold as his shock gave way. "You're that happy that Merlin's gone?!"

"So bright and sunny. Why you hardly feel the chill in the air today."

He grabbed a sword from the closest guard by the door and charged at his father.

**(X)**

"Prince Arthur!" Arthur opened his eyes just in time to see the panicked look on Belden's face. "I'm so sorry, you weren't waking up, and I thought, maybe if I yelled like Merlin does, you'd get up," he blurted out as he backed away. His back hit the wall, his arms held close to his sides, and as fearful as Arthur had seen him when he’d lost his temper and thrown the chair at the wall next to his closet.

The reaction seemed quite uncalled for. Arthur might not have been the most behaved person in the last few days, but it wasn't like he'd ever tried to kill Belden or anything.

He frowned as he took his room in. "Where's Merlin?" He looked around again in case he'd just happened to miss Merlin, but saw no sign of his servant. Merlin promised he wasn't going anywhere. Had he unconsciously not believed Merlin, and thus the nightmares had continued? He sighed and closed his eyes again. It was getting worse. At least Belden had woken him up before he'd found out Merlin was dead.

"I, I believe, still in bed, sire."

That was not what Arthur wanted to hear. "Go get him then," he said through gritted teeth _. Because if I do and he's not there…_ Which was unlikely. Merlin was probably just tired after running around the night before. If his dumb knights wouldn't have stressed Merlin out by giving him so many worthless gifts, he'd probably be awake and in Arthur's room right now.

"Of course! Your breakfast is on the table, clothing choices for the day already set out." He bowed his head. "I'll be right back with Merlin." He ran from the room, seeming all too happy to leave.

"What is going on," he groaned. He knew he could trust Belden to do his job, but a part of him worried that Belden wasn't enough to get Merlin of all people, up. He climbed out of bed and grabbed one of the pairs of pants that Belden had laid out. The rest of the items seemed like a waste of time right now. He had a nightshirt on, and he could finish getting dressed after Merlin was present to do his job, like he was supposed to be. Still, it was cold out. He pulled his socks and boots on.

"My lord?" Durward was looking at him with alarm as he staggered down the steps onto the main floor. If Merlin hadn't been such an arse and had just told him what he wanted for his birthday, he could have gotten some sleep, he was sure of it. But when had Merlin ever made anything easy? _Besides falling for him._ His face went red, and he mentally cursed himself for the thought out of habit. He didn't push it away this time though, instead letting it run its course inside his mind. Yes, falling for Merlin had been one of the simplest things he'd ever done. His attitude, his smile, his… everything. Merlin had his faults, but no matter what they were, Arthur didn't care. He needed to be with him, and hopefully it wouldn't be too hard to convince Merlin of the same. "… My… lord?"

Arthur blinked, looking up at Durward. The guard looked worried, and he couldn't blame him. He probably looked like he was drunk, standing at the bottom of the steps half asleep and wondering just how strong his feelings for Merlin were. "I'm just going to retrieve my stupid servant," he said.

"Of course."

"Have you seen Merlin at all this morning?" The guard shook his head. "Jerk." He started off for Gaius's tower, muttering curses at how cold it was. If he got sick, it would be all Merlin's fault. He couldn't help being worried for his stupid servant, especially after having that dream again, so he couldn't be responsible for rushing out of his room in nothing but a nightshirt, a pair of pants, and his boots.

He yawned as a servant he passed dropped the laundry basket she'd been holding. That could be Merlin's fault, too.

**(X)**

"I don't care what excuse he has. Prince Arthur doesn't function without him!"

Merlin pulled the pillow he had over his head tighter. Who was fighting with Gaius this early in the morning? Who was crazy enough to be up this early in the first place? The only ones awake should be the cooks. The sun hadn't even risen yet. It didn't sound like Uther, at least.

_SLAM!_

Merlin jumped and felt two hands wrap around his ankles. A hard tug and he was flying out of his bed. Lucky for him, he held onto his pillow because his head would have connected with the floor if he hadn't. He glared up at his would-be attacker, surprise overcoming his anger when he saw who it was.

"Belden?" What in the hell was going on? Why was Belden dragging him out of his bed by his ankles?

"You're going to drive Prince Arthur into an early grave and King Uther only has one heir!" He started pulling him towards the door. "That would make you responsible for ending the royal bloodline!"

"W-wait!" He tried grabbing at the bed, but Belden had already pulled him too far from the feet. "Belden!" Why was the younger teen so worked up? Had Arthur been up all night destroying the castle again? That was hardly his fault! He'd done everything asked of him the day before, and where had it gotten him? No sleep, a promise of a birthday gift, and Gaius's telling him his days of freedom were going to end soon.

"You saw how he was yesterday! Why would you not show up today," he demanded.

"What are you talking about? I still have twenty minutes before I have to even get up and eat!"

"I woke Prince Arthur up ten minutes ago, by myself," he screamed and gave another hard tug.

Merlin lifted his head just in time to spare the back of his skull from hitting the steps. _I must have fallen asleep._ Of all the times for him to drift off. He'd been awake all night trying to figure out what Arthur had been talking about, only to finally fall asleep minutes before he had to get up. "W-wait, you can't drag me to Arthur's chambers like this!"

"Watch me," Belden growled.

Merlin knew he would do it, but he couldn't. "Let me get dressed first," he pleaded. They'd just made it to the doorway leaving the tower when Belden finally looked at him. His face turned bright red. Merlin was only wearing sleep pants and nothing else.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?!"

"My room is warm!"

Merlin heard someone sigh. "Why am I not surprised?"

The two servants froze before turning their heads slowly towards the voice.

"Are you drunk," Merlin asked, making a face. Arthur's hair was a mess, he had no coat on, he was wearing normal pants, but a sleeping shirt, and the longer he stood there looking down at Merlin, the redder his face got. _Does he have a drinking problem?_ Everything would make complete sense if Arthur were actually a drunk. His random mood swings, all the strange things he was doing all of a sudden, why he couldn't remember running his sword through his closet. The destruction of his entire bedroom.

Belden dropped Merlin's ankles and dropped to one knee. "My lord, I am so sorry!"

"I'm not drunk," he said, finally looking away. The movement seemed difficult for him.

"Are you sure?" He sat up just as Arthur had started glance at him again.

He forced himself to turn his entire body away, so he was facing the steps. "Go put some clothes on," he shouted.

"I was trying to!" He climbed to his feet, suddenly aware of how cold it was in the hallway. "You're hardly one to talk!"

"I would be properly dressed if my idiot servant had come to wake me up like he was supposed to!"

"Your servant did wake you up," Merlin snapped, motioning to Belden, not that Arthur could see it. His back was to Merlin and from the looks of it, he wasn't turning around anytime soon. "It's your fault I didn't sleep last night," he muttered, walking back into the tower.

Arthur however did turn at Merlin's words. "My fault!?"

"Yes, your fault," Merlin snapped as Arthur caught up to him.

Gaius didn't seem surprised to see the others in the tower. "Would you like some porridge, my lord, Belden?"

"Don't feed him," Merlin screamed. "He'll keep coming back, like a stray!"

"Merlin, you feed all the strays in Camelot," Gaius pointed out.

"Not that one!" He ran into his room and slammed the door shut, his heart beating uncontrollably. He couldn't take these random intrusions anymore. He was getting a lock for his door. One that would eat people if they tried to force their way in.

He went over to his wardrobe, pulling out the dark blue tunic, the gray pants and the sapphire blue neckerchief and pulled them on. He wanted to remain angry, but Arthur's disheveled look had been so damn adorable. _I'm so pathetic._ Arthur was definitely his biggest weakness.

Finished, he came out of his room trying to hold back a smile and for the most part, failing. Arthur and Belden were sitting at the table with bowls in front of them. "Why haven't you gone back to your room to eat your gourmet breakfast?" He sat down in the empty chair across from Arthur at the table.

"Be nice, Merlin," Gaius said. He placed a bowl in front of Merlin. "And don't get any porridge on your new clothes."

"Because _you_ made me lose sleep last night," Arthur said before placing a spoon of porridge into his mouth.

"You're the one who…! Forget it," he sighed. He was too tired to bicker with Arthur about it. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I was trying to think of what to get you since you weren't nice enough to tell me. You?" Merlin had no idea why, but he could see that Arthur was pouting yet again. Since when did Arthur pout so much? Had he figured out that Merlin was weak to his sad faces? That wasn't good. He would have to try harder to not give in. If Arthur knew the power he held over him, the world might end. Maybe he had corrupted Arthur.

"… I was sure you were trying to think of a way to get me thrown into the dungeon for life," he said, doing his best to keep his voice neutral.

Arthur looked at him. "What made you think I was going to throw you into the dungeon?"

"You were acting so weird yesterday… I had no idea what you were thinking."

"Merlin, Prince Arthur. Please shut up," Belden said.

Gaius chuckled as he walked back to his medicine table.

"See the influence you're having on Belden," Arthur started off sounding formidable only for him to yawn halfway through his sentence.

"… Can we maybe call a truce and just go back to sleep for another hour? We can just make a run for it to the training grounds from there…"

Belden dropped his spoon. "Absolutely not!" He glared at both of them in turn. "Prince Arthur isn't even dressed and there's no way this porridge alone is going to fill him up! He's the prince, he needs fruits and vegetables! Meat!"

"That does sound like a good idea," Arthur agreed. He didn't seem to have heard anything Belden had said. For some reason Merlin found that amusing.

"Why am I the adult here," Belden demanded.

"Just give them a few more days," Gaius said. "This will work itself out."

Merlin nudged Arthur, the prince looking at him with mild curiosity. Merlin raised a finger to his lips and silently slipped under the table. A moment later, Arthur joined him, eyebrow raised. Merlin pointed to the stairs and started crouch walking towards them.

"I thought that was completely off limits. That's what Merlin said yesterday."

"Well, I'm afraid Merlin didn't take into account Prince Arthur's feelings."

Belden snorted.

It was so nice of Belden and Gaius to speak of him like he wasn't even in the room, but he couldn't complain too much. With those two talking, he and Arthur managed to get to the stairs and back to his room without so much as a surprised look. He pushed the door open quietly and jumped to his feet once inside. Arthur rushed in after him.

"What are we doing?"

"Getting our precious hour of sleep," Merlin said. He shut the door. "Now help me move the bed."

Arthur stared at him and shrugged. Together, the two of them pushed Merlin's bed against the door. A loud scream from outside the room told them that Belden had finally realized they'd bolted.

"Were you really up all night worried about the birthday gift I don't want or need?" He pulled his winter coat out from his wardrobe and dropped it onto the floor. It wasn't nearly as comfortable as his bed, but it beat sleeping on the floor.

"… Sort of." Arthur sat down on Merlin's bed. "Where's your blanket?"

"I told you, Gareth accidentally set it on fire."

Arthur made a face at that. "I thought you were joking."

"No. I haven't had the time to pick up a new one."

"Merlin, there's an entire closet full of blankets downstairs. You got my winter bedding out of it."

"That bedding is for the castle itself. Gaius and I purchase our own things," he said, yawning. "You gave me more than enough money for that necklace. I'll buy one when we finish training this afternoon."

"Or you could have just asked for a blanket for your birthday," Arthur snapped.

Merlin shrugged, stretching out on his coat. "It's no big deal, really. Why were you really up all night?"

"I've been having nightmares," Arthur admitted.

"Huh?" He flipped over so he was looking up at Arthur. "What kind of Nightmares?" If someone was attacking Arthur's sleep or driving him to act strange, they were succeeding, and Merlin needed to put a stop to it before Arthur did something stupid.

"That you're gone and not coming back. I thought once you'd recovered, they'd stop, but after I went to sleep last night, I kept dreaming you were gone. No one would tell me where you went and the few times I do find you in my dreams you're… no longer alive." He choked on the words 'no longer alive.'

Merlin frowned at that. That was a strange nightmare to have. "You should have said something. Gaius has medicine for nightmares."

"I tried that."

"Oh." He thought for a moment, which wasn't much given how tired he was. "Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"Just lie down and give me whatever hand is closest." For once Arthur didn't protest. He lied down on his stomach and held his left hand out. Merlin took it in his own, lacing their fingers together.

"Merlin—" He looked alarm but didn't try to pull his hand away.

"Now you know I'm here, even while you're sleeping"

"R, right."

"See in an hour." He closed his eyes.

"Good night, Merlin…"

"Good night, Arthur."

**(X)**

Merlin gave the training grounds and the knights a look over before letting his gaze drift off. He needed sleep, bad. Gaius had refused to tell him what he and Arthur had spoken about while he'd been putting his clothes away, and the uneasiness of it all had kept him up all night. The only hint his uncle would give him was that his life would be very different soon and before that, that Merlin's days of freedom were ending. Which made him believe Arthur had found out about his magic or something and planned to make him live in the dungeon for the rest of his life. Maybe they'd handcuff him next to Kilgharrah. Not that he could actually stay locked up. And then there had been Arthur's sudden declaration of finding Merlin the perfect birthday gift. How was he supposed to find him the perfect gift when Merlin himself didn't know what he wanted? All of it was just too much. He dropped his head against the wooden fence and groaned.

 _Stop it._ His thoughts always got dark when he was sleep deprived. There was no way any of that would happen. Arthur had needed Merlin to hold his hand, to fall asleep because of nightmares a few hours ago. The last thing he was going to do was throw him into a dungeon. Belden might, though.

 _We're monsters when we work together_ , he thought, snickering. He'd thought Arthur would stop him from sneaking off, but then, when had Arthur ever turned down a chance to sleep longer in the morning?

He looked at the knights again, his eyes picking out Arthur with ease despite the fact they were all wearing the same armor and had helmets covering their faces. He'd have to wash his bedding again. Maybe not. He'd regretted it so much after he'd washed them after Arthur's first sleepover, and it was just his sheets and pillow this time.

At least he had the rest of the answer to Arthur's sudden strange behavior.

 _Arthur seemed rather happy this morning_. The look on Arthur's face when Belden had woken them up an hour later had been nothing short of beautiful. His eyes had fluttered opened, and a smile had spread over his face when he saw Merlin on the floor, gazing back at him.

 _Why is this coat so hot?!_ He wanted to take his winter coat off, but Arthur liked the coat on him, so he didn't want to take it off either. _Ugh_. Maybe if he just let himself fall over; he could get another day off. He'd even considered not joining Belden in waking Arthur up that morning before he'd actually fallen asleep and went through with it.

"Did you and Gaius have a good Sweets day," Belden asked, resting on the fence beside Merlin. It was the first words Belden had said to him all morning after he'd woken Arthur up for a second time.

At least that had gone well. Arthur had gotten up without a single protest and seemed rather cheerful as he got ready for his day. That had never happened before. Arthur was, by default, a pain to wake up and grouchy until after he was dressed. Always. Except for today after his nap with Merlin.

 _This is not fair._ He'd been so out of it from lack of sleep and so had Arthur. If he'd just had a little more brain power, he probably could have made out with him and later told Arthur he'd dreamed the whole thing. Not that he wanted to take advantage of the prince, but when would he get another chance like that? Arthur had willingly held his hand. That wasn't going to happen again.

"… I'm not sure. It started off well enough. We picked up my winter clothes and then we were going to head straight to the new tavern, but the knights thought it would be funny to give me, us gifts." All the food was in still the numerous boxes set to the side.

Belden looked at him without moving his head. "Us or you?"

"Well, they said they were for me, but it was all food, so I'm pretty sure it was for both of us. There's no way I can possibly eat all of it by myself." Even if it were just for him, he'd still end up sharing with Gaius and the knights knew that.

"My mum said Lord Gareth had gotten a cake yesterday." He sighed.

Merlin didn't know why Belden was sighing. Gaius and he were the ones stuck with a ton of food that they couldn't possibly consume before it all went bad. "Did you want some?"

"That's something I can get on my own, easily."

"True." He wasn't sure if he should tell Belden about the rest of his evening or not. What he needed was to talk with Gareth. Gareth was superb at reading others and he needed that insight, fast, in case he needed to be packing his bags and going into hiding. No one had said anything this morning, though. The guards hadn't looked at him like he was some sort of meal. In fact, Durward looked like he might hug Merlin when the three of them walked by headed for Arthur's room.

Arthur moved to the side, arms folded across his chest, and watched Percival lung at Luca. He nodded when Luca stepped back and to the left, just enough for Percival to rush past him off balance. Merlin could imagine Arthur's expressions change as he watched the two knights.

 _He's so…._ He sighed, resting his head on his arms, and smiled. Sometimes it was normal moments like this that made his heart flutter. Why was his freedom at stake? Had something happened and Gaius was going to pull him to be his full-time apprentice? Had Arthur decided to keep Belden as his servant so all of his wake-up calls would be normal and he no longer had to fear his breakfast getting dropped?

"No, like this," Arthur said, stopping them. He raised his sword and held it at an angle.

"Out with it. What happened after he ran off last night," Morgana asked, dropping her arms onto the fence next to Merlin.

Belden looked like he was going to have a heart attack. "Lady Morgana," he said, bowing his head.

Merlin turned and noticed the necklace he'd made her adorning her neck. "Morgana, I see you liked your gift."

"It's absolutely stunning," she said, smiling. "Which is one of the reasons I'm here. I just had to give you and the knights my thanks for making it."

"Arthur asked us to," Merlin said.

"Sure, now don't leave me in the dark, what happened last night?" Her eyes were dancing. She obviously thought something amazing had happened the night before.

"Nothing at all," Merlin said, blushing. "I mean… we talked."

"Something must have happened. I practically told him to go court you and he ran to catch you," she said through gritted teeth and clenched her fists. "I knew I should have just come out and said it."

"You what!?"

"Y, you think they should be together too," Belden asked.

Morgana's eyes flickered towards Belden. "Of course, doesn't everyone? I think Merlin's the only one who doesn't."

"Someone in my position can't just… tell the prince of Camelot that I'm in love with him," he said. Morgana made it sound so easy, but Arthur hardly outranked her, since Uther had taken her in as his ward and it helped that she was a female. He was quite happy with his male body, however, and had no intentions of changing his gender for Arthur's affections. Either he loved Merlin as is or didn't. _And he'll never be able to love me as is because I can't tell him everything._

"You're alone with him all the time! Just pick a moment and tell him!"

"And where would it get me," he demanded. "Arthur would disown me for sure!"

"Do you want to see what Lancelot wants," Gwen asked Belden. He nodded and the two of them fast walked to the other side of the fence.

"Merlin, he showed up at my chambers looking like he wanted to jump from the window. Actually, I was a little surprised he didn't when he saw Gaius dragging you by the ear." Her smile returned. "What did you do, anyway?"

"I didn't tell Gaius until last night that I'd given the money I'd saved up for my winter clothes to someone for food. Arthur paid us for the necklace though, so I was able to get them."

She glared at him. "Why didn't you say something? I'd have given you a loan!"

"Because your idea of a loan would be telling Arthur so _he_ would give me the money."

"Well, I'm running out of ideas! I was positive him saving you from certain death from falling down the stairs would be enough to make him realize his feelings!"

"He realized he couldn't stand me and threw me in the stocks!"

"I convinced him to let you out," she said.

Merlin hardly thought that was the issue here. If landing on top of Arthur resulted in time spent in the stocks, that meant he didn't care for the person who landed on him. Granted, Arthur hadn't sent him to the stocks after yesterday morning, yet. "He's planning something. Gaius told me to enjoy my last few days of freedom and I'm worried."

Any humor Morgana had had faded. "What?"

"The last twelve hours of my life have been strange. Arthur wasn't acting normal last night. He's determined to find me a birthday gift all of a sudden. Afterwards Gaius mentioned my freedom was going to end soon. This morning I overslept. Belden and Arthur came to get me. I asked him if he was planning to keep me in the dungeons for the rest of my life. He said no, but…"

"Arthur would never—"

"If Uther ordered it, he would."

Morgana frowned at that. They both knew Arthur listened to Uther above all. He might question his father, but he hardly ever stood against him. The fact that Arthur had told Uther to leave Merlin alone the other day was shocking. Perhaps since Arthur had told his father he'd leave if he exiled Merlin, Uther had decided to lock Merlin up in the dungeon for the rest of his life instead.

He closed his eyes, groaning again. "I'm not suited for the dungeon life."

"You're not suited for servitude either," Morgana pointed out. "Uh-oh, he's coming over here."

Merlin opened his eyes just in time to see the normal grumpy looking prince coming towards them. "Right, I'm not supposed to be talking to you."

"Why not," she demanded.

"Because you're special to him."

Morgana opened her mouth to protest, but Arthur was already within hearing. She shut her mouth instead and glared at Arthur.

"You shouldn't be out here Morgana. You could get hurt."

"Since when? I've watched you and your knights train plenty of times."

"I'm not in the mood for any games. What are you doing out here?"

"I'm having a pleasant conversation with Merlin about how his night went yesterday. Seeing as how you never returned, I had assumed you'd been with him all night. But it seems you abandoned both of us."

Arthur's face began turning red. "I did no such thing! You told me I could leave!"

"To speak with Merlin, not whoever you ran off with," she scoffed.

_They're going to be at this for a while._

After a good ten minutes of bickering, possibly more Merlin walked away. He knew Morgana wouldn't get any answers from Arthur. He still had a few hours of serving Arthur before he could meet with Gareth. Maybe they could talk while Merlin went looking for a new blanket.

"There you are."

"Hmm?" Merlin turned, his cheeks burning, eyes widening with delight. "Lucien, when did you get back?" He hadn't seen Lucien in months. Not since his father had sent him to go look for more inventory for the bookshop.

"Unfortunately, this morning. I tried to make it back last night, but with all the books I had, it was impossible." He shook his head.

"That means you have new books for sale," Merlin said, unable to hide the happiness in his voice. Even when everyone else was too busy for him or mad with him, books were always there. And that usually meant Lucien was too.

"Yes. And a small token for my best customer," he said, his eyes smiling brightly, his mouth only lifting an inch on each side. He pulled out a wrapped gift that was obviously a book.

"I can't accept this," Merlin said.

"No," Lucien asked, his smile growing. "I don't have anyone else to give it to though. I guess it'll just have to sit and collect dust until Christmas." He sighed as if that was the worst thing in the world.

"W, well, when you say it like that…" Merlin mumbled. He couldn't just let a book sit and wait for its owner for that long.

"So, you'll take it," he asked, his smile growing.

"Fine," Merlin said, grabbing the book. "What is it anyway?"

"A book," Lucien said. He raised a fisted hand to his lower lip and chuckled.

"You know what I meant," he said laughing, himself.

"I suppose you'll just have to open it to find out."

"Okay. But first, it's too warm for this jacket right now." He undid the buttons and pulled the long jacket off, placing it on the wooden fence. He let out a happy sigh as his body temperature began to regulate. "Okay."

**(X)**

"Who is that," Arthur demanded.

Morgana paused in mid-sentence and followed Arthur's gaze.

"Ah, Lucien's back," she said, smiling. "He's bookshop's owner's son."

"I take it Merlin and he know each other?" Arthur asked in a growl. He'd never met this Lucien before, but the look on Merlin's face told him that he was someone special to him. He didn't know how special, but the look in Merlin's eyes were far brighter, happier, than he'd ever seen them, even when he was 'joking' with Gareth.

"Merlin spends half his free time at the bookshop," Morgana explained. "Reading is one of his favorite pastimes."

Arthur knew that, but he didn't care what Merlin enjoyed right now. He was supposed to be on duty as his servant. "What in the world!?" He began walking towards Merlin. Why was his servant removing his coat!?

"You found it," Merlin shouted, a look of utmost delight on his face. "Where?"

"Two villages over."

"I can finally read the ending," he laughed, hugging the book to his chest. "Thank you so much, Lucien. I owe you."

"Perhaps you could stop by and see what else I found when you finish with your day job?" He raised an eyebrow, his smile growing.

"I don't think we have anything going on tonight. I need to buy a blanket, but besides that, I'm free."

"No, you're not," Arthur snapped. Merlin jumped and turned to him. "Huh? I'm not?"

"You're busy tonight," Arthur yelled. "And why aren't you doing your job right now?"

Merlin scrunched up his face in confusion. "I am. I can hear you guys if you call for me, and both Gwen and Belden are right there." He pointed to the two of them who were talking with the knights.

"Put the book away or I'm taking it away!"

Merlin blinked and shrugged, putting the book into his jacket pocket.

"Tomorrow then," Lucien smiled. He turned to Arthur, bowing his head deeply. "My lord."

"I need you to focus, Merlin! And... what are you wearing…?" His face grew warm as he took Merlin's outfit in. He was wearing a dark blue tunic with gray pants and a sapphire blue neckerchief.

"Clothes….?"

"Yes, but…." He frowned. Merlin actually looked good. Better than good. Someone had measured him, and color coordinated his entire outfit. His clothes looked good enough for a minor noble to wear.

"I tried to tell Gaius this didn't look right on me," he sighed. "But he insisted. Said as your servant I was expected to dress at a certain quality. I can move in them well enough, but I don't know. They're just not me."

"You…. you look good…. I like them." Those words had not just left his mouth. _Yes, they did._ He was so used to pushing his feelings for Merlin away, but that needed to stop. If he'd simply been honest with himself, he'd have realized how much he wanted to be with Merlin a long time ago. All he thought about was him.

"Yeah," he asked.

"You do," he said, both surprised and what? His eyes widened slightly as he placed the look Morgana had worn the night before when she'd first seen the necklace. "I mean, you're finally dressing appropriately!"

"They are soft," Merlin said, blushing, his eyes on the ground. "And warm."

"G, good. That's the important thing right now. Just...pay attention or I'll have no choice, but to, to something!" He looked genuinely confused as to what he was going to do with Merlin.

"What am I doing after training, anyway?"

"You're… Um, you'll see," he said, glaring at him. "Why all the questions? You're my servant. If I tell you, you have something to do, you do it."

"I didn't say I wouldn't do it, I just asked what I was doing," he protested.

"You'll find out soon enough!" He turned and froze when he felt Merlin grab his arm. "W, what?"

"Just promise me you aren't going to get rid of me…"

Frowning, Arthur looked at him. He was trying to keep Merlin as close to him as possible, not get rid of him. "Why do you keep thinking that?"

Merlin looked at his feet. "You fear right now I might be going away, but I've always feared I'd be forced to leave."

"Merlin, I promise you, no one is going to separate us. We're in this mess of a life together." Merlin nodded, but he still refused to meet his eyes. "Merlin!" Said servant looked up. "I promise."

"O, okay."

"So, don't get any weird ideas about leaving me."

"I won't."

"Good."

Merlin hesitantly released Arthur's arm. He instantly felt uncomfortable. "You know what, maybe just come with me," he mumbled.

"Huh?"

"You can just stand beside while I watch the knights spar."

"But…"

"You are so frustrating." He grabbed Merlin's hand and dragged him onto the field. Merlin wasn't leaving his sight. It seemed even people he thought were complete strangers were a threat when it came to Merlin's feelings. He couldn't risk it. It was just a few more days until Merlin's birthday. He'd just have to keep Merlin with him at all times until then. Somehow.

**(TBC)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m pointing this out in all my current stories. I’m not trying to avoid anything; my life has just been kind of thrown into chaos at the moment. All the plans I had set were kind of put on hold because none of them worked out. So please bear with me as updates run late. I'm also sorry at how much this sucks. Maybe it doesn't, but after nine rewrites you begin to wonder.  
> Warnings: This is yaoi, slash, shounen-ai, gay. Arthur and Merlin are in love. If you don’t like this sort of thing, this is your warning.  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

I'm pointing this out in all my current stories. I'm not trying to avoid anything; my life has just been kind of thrown into chaos at the moment. All the plans I had set were kind of put on hold because none of them worked out. So please bear with me as updates run late.

Warnings: This is yaoi, slash, shounen-ai, gay. Arthur and Merlin are in love. If you don't like this sort of thing, this is your warning.

Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter, 9

"No, like this."

Merlin watched as Arthur placed his hand over Lancelot's on the sword hilt. He didn't like it, but there was nothing he could do. Besides, Arthur really needed to hold someone else's hand for a moment, so their own hand holding didn't look so condemning. Every time Arthur grabbed his hand, and he was doing just that every time he finished helping one of the knights, he was sure Uther was going to come running out from somewhere, sword held high, and cut Merlin's arm off.

He shuddered and looked away, glaring when his eyes met Belden's, the younger teen smirking at him. If only he could sneak away and leave Belden in his spot. Or anyone. Would Arthur realize he'd left if he used a scarecrow as a decoy? Probably, but if Belden would just help him out for ten minutes. That's all he needed. Ten minutes and he could make it out of the city and into the woods. It would take Arthur at least an hour to realize he wasn't hiding somewhere in the castle, and by then, he'd have a plan to counteract whatever it was that was going on.

"Merlin!" Said warlock jumped and turned. "Pay attention!"

 _I don't want to watch you touch other people!_ "Why? You told me I wasn't allowed to use a sword because I'd probably kill myself trying to swing it." Gareth and Lancelot had secretly been teaching him how to hold a sword properly and even how to use it, sort of. He could swing it now without worry of chopping his own foot or fingers off, but he didn't think telling Arthur that right now would make him happy. In fact, he didn't know what to do to make Arthur happy or calm him down. Everything he did seemed to do the exact opposite of that.

"That's not…!" Arthur growled, his eyes closing. He let out a long and controlled breath before giving his attention back to Lancelot. "Let's try it this way."

Gareth dropped his hands onto each of Merlin's shoulders from behind and brought his mouth to Merlin's ear. "You can only look at the prince or he's going to get jealous," he whispered. He broke into laughter as he stepped away. Probably smart, because Arthur had caught them and was now wearing one of his 'how can I kill this person and get away with it' looks. If Arthur remembered he was the prince of Camelot, Gareth was going to be dead before dinner. Could this afternoon possibly get any worse?

"I'm going to lock you up in the tower!" He closed the three steps between them and grabbed Merlin's hand yet again, pulling him with towards Lancelot.

Merlin went along, knowing a direct escape was impossible. If Arthur caught him doing anything that resembled running off, he'd probably hunt him down and Merlin would end up handcuffed to the prince. Actually… _Focus!_ He screamed at himself.

"I didn't do anything!" At least not that he was aware of. Sleep deprived Arthur was a dangerous creature. He seemed to think Merlin, and he were dating and had something against books, and everyone. None of it made any sense. It'd been amusing at first, but as the reality sunk in of just how risky it was to allow this to continue, the more awake Merlin had grown. Now he was standing next to Arthur, wondering what he could possibly do to remedy this. Once Arthur had rested, he wouldn't be acting like this. He might even avoid Merlin a bit after he regained some of his common sense. Until then, however, Merlin's life was in jeopardy.

Movement to his left caught his attention. "Gaius!" He was saved! Spared from Arthur's newest, strange behavior of dragging him around the field like a toy. Not that he hadn't dreamed about something like this for years, but survival trumped dreams.

"Gaius!" He started waving his free hand back and forth.

Gaius froze when he spotted Merlin and raised an eyebrow. He looked like a frightened deer and seemed unsure of whether or not he wanted to get involved. Well too bad, he was getting involved and saving Merlin because if anyone saw this, Uther would murder all of them. And there was no telling who might walk by and report them to Uther, and he wouldn't think twice about making sure Merlin had an 'accident.' No, this was the unsafest situation he'd been in in quite some time and it needed to be dealt with immediately.

"Arthur, let me go speak with Gaius for a moment." He turned and took a step back. Arthur looked like he'd just asked him to strip naked and run through the streets of Camelot screaming he was the weakest person in the city. "It's medicine related."

Scowling, Arthur released his hand. "I expect you back over here as soon as you finish."

"Got it." He ran towards Gaius, hoping the physician had a solution. If only Arthur wasn't the prince, then they could hold hands for the rest of their lives. He made it through the gate. "Gaius," he whispered, his tone desperate. "You have to get me out of here," he hissed, grabbing his shoulders. "The lack of sleep has made Arthur lose his mind!"

"And risk King Uther's and Prince Arthur's ire? I don't think so." He motioned to Arthur with his eyes.

Merlin looked, Arthur was glaring at them from across the field, arms folded across his chest. He turned back to Gaius. "He'll listen to you!"

Gaius snorted at that. "Perhaps you should have worried about this before sneaking off to your room with him!"

"All we did was hold hands!" Did Gaius actually believe they'd done something more than that?! He'd been too tired to take advantage of Arthur.

"MERLIN," Arthur shouted.

He cursed and leaned in closer to Gaius. "He keeps having nightmares that I've left or died."

"Gee, I wonder where he could have possibly gotten that idea." He gave Merlin a questioning look.

"I was away from his side for maybe, _maybe_ , a few hours and that includes before I even step foot in Ealdor! Besides that was years ago!"

"Merlin, Arthur grew up without a mother, with a father who hardly acknowledged him as a human let alone as a son. He's had plenty of servants and knights come and go, but no one he could ever possibly consider a friend. Lady Morgana and I are probably the only people who treat him normally that he's consistently had in his life until you showed up." He glanced towards the fence, threw his arm around Merlin's shoulder to pull him closer, and lowered his voice. "King Uther's attempt to remove you from his side has made him uneasy. Now he fears he may lose you and will do anything to make sure that won't happen."

"Oh. So, he does have abandonment issues." That was beside the point, though. "If Uther catches him holding my hand like this, he'll have me executed."

"Merlin, I think King Uther has long dropped any—"

"What are you two talking about?"

They both looked at Arthur, at each other, back to Arthur. Merlin knew they both had to look guilty because Arthur's anger seemed to be growing with each glance. Gaius removed his arm from Merlin's shoulder, the two of them straightening up.

"We um," Merlin started. He didn't think Arthur would take too kindly to them talking about his abandonment issues.

"Medicine," Gaius said. He started going through his pockets and pulled out a small piece of parchment. "Here it is." He handed it to Merlin. "That should be everything we need."

"Got it." He scanned the list. There were at least twenty different herbs on it. "This will take a while to gather. I won't be home until late. Arthur has something for me to do after practice."

"No."

"No," Merlin repeated, looking at Arthur. "You told Lucien I was busy tonight."

"You are," Arthur said, his voice smug. "Too busy for him. I'm not going to interfere with Gaius's request. I'll go with to make sure he doesn't avoid his duties."

Was it him, or did Arthur sound absolutely delighted?

"I couldn't ask you to do that, sire."

"I'm indebted to you far more than you'll ever know, Gaius. Let me do this."

"Well, if you insist."

_NO!_

"I'm afraid I must be going." He leaned close to Merlin again. "The sooner his fears are put to rest, the sooner the nightmares and odd behaviors will stop," he whispered. "I'll make sure King Uther understands."

 _Of course._ Why hadn't he realized that? If the root of Arthur's fear was that he was going away, all he had to do was prove to Arthur he wasn't. That wouldn't be too hard. They practically shared every waking moment together. All he had to do was follow Arthur around the few hours they normally didn't spend together. In a few days, Arthur would be ordering him to stay away. His life would return to normal and Uther wouldn't be worried his only heir had gone mad. Arthur would no longer be a mental mess. Everyone won.

"I'll wait for you so we can have dinner together," Gaius said.

"All right. I'll see you later, Gaius." He watched Gaius head into the castle, glad for his uncle's insight and help. When he could no longer see him, he turned to Arthur and grabbed his hand, Arthur's eyes widening. "What?"

"Nothing," he muttered. He gave a quick look at their hands and then started back onto the field.

**(X)**

"Is this one," Arthur asked. He was holding up what looked to be a long, orange piece of grass.

"Yes," Merlin said, surprised. He shouldn't be. He knew Arthur was good at foraging, and yet he'd thought the prince would be at a complete loss when it came to locating herbs. Lucky for him, Arthur had proven him wrong.

Arthur looked rather pleased with himself and placed the herb into the basket they were using. "What's next on the list?"

"This," Merlin said, holding up a bunch of white flowers. "Gaius needs twelve of these."

"Got it."

Merlin looked down, smiling. They'd been at this for at least an hour, and Arthur hadn't complained once. He seemed to be enjoying himself, and for once, so was Merlin. Outside the walls of Camelot, it was almost like the laws didn't exist. He could be himself out in the woods, regardless of what that entailed. And with both of them covered in dirt, looking through the dying grass for the proper ingredients, Merlin could pretend for just a moment that they were equals. Out here they could be real friends.

"I found two," Arthur shouted, holding them both up and grinning. "I think I make a better apprentice than you do, Merlin."

"You wouldn't even know what to look for if not for me," Merlin countered. It was nice to be bickering again like this. As always, it seemed like Gaius had been right. All he had to do was push himself on Arthur, and the prince's weird behavior had immediately stopped. He'd let go of Merlin and allowed him to watch from the fence when he realized he was getting nowhere with the training that afternoon. He'd started to joke with the knights, and when he'd caught Belden and Merlin laughing, he hadn't charged them or gone crazy. He'd smiled and waited for them to finish their conversation before joining Merlin in gathering herbs.

"That's what pictures are for," Arthur said.

"Gaius doesn't have time to draw you pictures every time he needs something."

"He'd still get his ingredients faster."

"Arrogant as ever, I see my lord," Merlin said, rolling his eyes. He didn't have the heart to tell Arthur there was a patch of the white flowers just on his other side. Nor did he want to one up the Prince right now. The flowers were probably the easiest herb to locate on the list as they flourished during the autumn weather. Best to let Arthur have his fun though. He needed some joy in his life, too.

"Well, when one deserves it," he smirked before returning to his search.

Merlin laughed and started his hunt for the next item. He found the thorny vines a few feet from where they'd left the basket and carefully began breaking pieces of it off. When he had enough, he carried them over to the basket and dropped them in.

"Really Merlin, you're blind," Arthur said. He motioned to the patch of flowers Merlin had been next to minutes before. "What would you do without me?"

"Spend the night out here," Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It wouldn't surprise me. What was Gaius thinking giving you such a long list of things to find anyway?"

 _Because he was going to buy all these things until we needed a cover story_. But this was okay. Between the two of them they were making good time and now that Arthur wasn't acting so weird, he was happy to be with him again.

"Winter's coming. We need to gather enough to last us until spring."

"Makes sense."

"I'm glad you approve." He scanned the list, surprised they only needed one more item. "We need shooting stars," he said. Arthur gave him a blank look and Merlin sighed. "Purple flowers with yellow centers," he explained. "They're usually around small red berries."

"I think there were some back here."

Merlin grabbed the basket and followed Arthur. Even if he was wrong, best to play along. He noticed some of the flowers to his right but said nothing as Arthur walked right past them. He had to stop himself from laughing when they passed a second flower. _We'll be out here forever if this keeps up._ "I need to sit for a minute," Merlin said, walking towards the flower. He sat down pretending to look tired, which wasn't hard. Even with the nap, he could use another ten hours of sleep.

"You're not getting sick again, are you," Arthur asked. He picked his way carefully back towards Merlin and sat down next to him. "I don't need you collapsing again."

"I'll be fine," he tried to assure him. "We've just been on our feet all day and," he froze when Arthur bent over him, his chest on his legs. A second later he straightened up, grinning once more, and holding up a shooting star. "You really are blind," he said, placing the flower into the basket.

"Maybe I am tired," he said.

Arthur nodded. "The nap only helped a little."

"Yeah." But it had still been nice. He didn't even need to close his eyes to remember Arthur's sleeping face, or their fingers laced together. The warmth he'd felt from Arthur's hand and the thrill when the two of them had escaped from Belden's clutches. _What a strange day._

"Merlin?"

"Hmm?"

"If I asked you to do something for me, would you?"

It surprised him that Arthur had used the word asked instead of ordered. "It would depend on what you wanted me to do."

"... Have you been considering dating Lucien?"

"I'm not sure," Merlin admitted. This was awkward. Arthur was the last person he wanted to discuss his love life with, but if he didn't, Arthur would think he was trying to put a wall between them again. "We're friends. I'm always in there getting books for Gaius and myself. He's one of the few people outside of the castle who can read, so he's the only person close to my age that I can talk to books about." he shrugged. "We've gotten along quite well since we first met. I never imagined he actually liked me."

"… Could you not?"

Merlin frowned at that. Arthur wasn't looking at him, but ahead at the trees in front of them. "What do you have against Lucien?"

"I just… don't think he's right for you."

"I know."

Arthur looked at him. "You do?"

He nodded. The thought of dating Lucien at first had excited him, but the idea of lying to him made Merlin uneasy. Granted, Lucien may be open to him being a warlock. The knights were, but they were a strange bunch and there was no telling how Lucien would take it. "There are things… that I can't tell him," he said, choosing his words cautiously. "And I don't think it would be fair for us to date if I had to keep secrets from him."

"You know you can tell me anything, right," Arthur asked, quickly. "And I mean _anything_."

 _Right, because you were absolutely okay with William 'being a sorcerer' even though he saved your life in the end,_ he thought bitterly. "I know."

"I mean it, Merlin."

"I know," he repeated. He wasn't sure what else he could say. Even if Arthur might be okay with him having magic, which he doubted, it wouldn't be right to further the wedge between Arthur and his father, which is exactly what would happen if he mentioned it. "There are very few people I can trust. And while I might not always tell you everything, I do trust you, Arthur."

Arthur snorted.

"There are just some things that shouldn't be said out loud. Not right now, anyway."

Arthur dropped his hand on top of Merlin's, the warlock blushing. "So, you plan to tell me at a later date?"

Did he? He wanted to, badly. He was selfish, wanting Arthur to know everything and for him to accept Merlin. "I do. When admitting it won't cause so much chaos, I'll tell you." He doubted a time like that would ever exist, but perhaps one day…. "But it's not because I don't trust you. It's because I don't want to add any more stress to your life."

Arthur snickered. "What's one more thing to stress me out about?"

"This is different. If I told you, you would have to choose between your father and me. I don't want to have to make you choose. That's not fair. Not when staying quiet means, you don't have to."

"I never thought about it that way," he said, squeezing Merlin's hand. "But I will stand up to him where you 're concerned."

"Yes, you've shown me that." He'd never imagined Arthur would tell his father to back down when he found out about his extra "lessons" and it had made him love Arthur even more once he'd found out.

"Let's get the rest of the flowers before we run out of light." He stood up and pulled Merlin up with him.

(X)

"He followed me to the baths afterwards!"

Gaius raised an eyebrow at that. "Did he join you?"

"Of course not," Merlin shouted, his face burning. What kind of stupid question was that? "The nobles have their own baths! But once I finished, he walked me to the tower door, told me I wasn't allowed to go anywhere until tomorrow morning, and stormed away," Merlin said. He placed the two meat pies that Luca had purchased for them the night before onto the table. With a quick look towards the door to make sure no one was threatening to enter, he waved his hand at the two pies. "Bríwe béodwyste." He could feel the magic rush through his body, knew that his eyes were turning gold. Steam began to rise from the two meat pies. He grinned, satisfied that he'd managed to warm the food up this time instead of turning it into burnt husks. "The food's ready."

Gaius shook his head but didn't exactly look displeased to see the food warm and ready to consume. He sat down, motioning for Merlin to do the same, he did, and handed Merlin a fork and knife. "It would seem your plan to ease Prince Arthur's fears has worked."

Merlin looked up from his meat pie, fork in hand. "You think so?"

"I do." He poked a few holes into his pie, the steam rising faster. Merlin swore he saw Gaius smile, but it vanished just as fast. He set his fork down next to the pie and focused all his attention on Merlin. "You're in love with Prince Arthur, yes?"

"You're joking." Gaius knew he was completely in love with the git. He'd do anything, everything for Arthur, unless it caused him harm. All right, so he ignored Arthur's orders all the time, but usually it was for the prince's own good. Sometimes it was for Merlin's own good. "Of course, I am." He failed to see what that had to do with any of this though.

"Prince Arthur wants you to stay with him the rest of his life."

"That's what I'm doing, isn't it?" Which would be ideal if it didn't also include whoever Arthur ended up marrying. "Sometimes I wonder if I should have ever come here."

"Prince Arthur would be dead if you hadn't."

"He managed to survive until I arrived," Merlin pointed out.

"Well, a certain someone was far more capable than he is now," Gaius said, glaring at Merlin. "Don't even think about running."

Merlin shrugged and took a bite of his food. It wasn't that he wanted to run, not exactly. Arthur's sudden change in behavior worried him, and he feared it wasn't just due to nightmares, abandonment issues, or lack of sleep. Gaius's advice seemed to be spot on, though. When he'd offered to join Arthur in the bath earlier, the prince had screamed at him no, shoved him into the servant's bath, and shut the door, which was good. He didn't think his heart could take sharing a bath with Arthur.

**(X)**

Arthur let out a frustrated growl, sat up in bed, and threw his pillow across the room. It crashed into the wall, feathers erupting from it. He watched the feathers drift to the floor, his breath ragged, sweat dripping down his neck, forehead and back. He closed his eyes, an image of Merlin's outstretched, unmoving body reappearing. His eyes snapped back open, and he threw another pillow. It slammed into the same spot and slid to the floor next to the first one. "He's okay," he told himself. He knew he was being stupid. If he went to the tower, Merlin would be there, but then, that's what he told himself in the nightmares and Merlin was always gone. Gone and never coming back _. Or he might have run off to see Lucien._ Even though he'd specifically told Merlin he was not to leave the tower until tomorrow morning and Merlin had told him that Lucien wasn't a good fit for him as far as dating was concerned.

Scowling, he climbed out from under the covers, roughly shoving them away _. I'll just go. If I'm dreaming, I'll wake up after I check his room._ And if Merlin had left? He'd track him down and make him pay.

The cold air hit him as soon as he opened the door. Frowning, he grabbed the thick duvet from off his bed and wrapped it around himself before stepping out. How had he not known about Lucien? To think that a stranger he'd never met could be more of a threat than Gareth or Morgana. Had Gaius known Merlin was constantly running off to the bookshop? He didn't think Merlin would lie to Gaius, but why had Gaius lied to him about it?

He rushed down the stairs, shivering. He knew he should go back to his room and grab his boots, but every second he wasn't absolutely sure Merlin was sleeping in his bed was a second that threatened his sanity.

"Prince Arthur," the night guard asked, clearly shocked. "W-what are you doing?"

"I'm…." He frowned, wondering what to tell him. "I'm going to go see Gaius. I need something to help with...stomach issues."

"My lord. I could go fetch a servant to get Gaius—"

"I need to walk!"

The guard jumped. "But—"

"Don't question me. I... might be there awhile, so don't worry if I don't come back." The guard looked like he wanted to say more, but Arthur didn't care. He started again on his journey to Gaius's tower while trying to come up with an explanation for his middle of the night drop in. _I can do this…_ He walked faster, knowing if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to do it. He'd just left the tower a few hours ago, acting like the most arrogant person in Camelot. Most of it had been an act. He'd made sure to keep Merlin busy so he wouldn't have a chance to sneak off and meet Lucien. Hell, he'd walked past at least ten of the flowers Merlin had asked him to locate just to buy time. After they'd returned to the tower, he'd made Merlin explain everything about the herbs they'd just gathered and what they did, how they were stored. Gaius probably thought he was interested in medicine now and wanted to study beside Merlin.

_Maybe I should just tell Merlin..._

"My—"

"Going to see Gaius," he mumbled without looking at the guard. But the thought of telling Gaius he was there to admit his feelings was embarrassing. And then there was the issue of whether Merlin would return his feelings. He didn't think he could take a rejection from Merlin. If he could even convince himself to admit his feelings in the first place. Maybe he could convince Merlin to give him a chance if he were unsure? He could prove how perfect a relationship between them would be.

A hiss escaped his lips as he stepped outside, and he ran to the entrance of the tower. His feet felt like they were on fire as they hit the freezing stone. "Going to see Gaius," he shouted, running past the guard.

"My lord!"

Arthur ignored him, wincing as he started up the stone steps. Merlin had better be grateful! Who else would leave their warm bed to check on a servant because of a bad dream? _Probably all my knights_ , he thought, scowling. _And that… Lucien!_

He slowed as he arrived at the door, opened it carefully, and poked his head in. The only source of light came from the fireplace. From it, he could see Gaius lying in bed with a book spread out in his lap.

_Why isn't he asleep?_

While Gaius had every right to be up and relaxing in his own room, he needed him to go asleep so he could make it Merlin's room.

This left Arthur with three choices. He could leave and hate himself for it and not get any sleep the rest of the night, again. He could just go straight into Merlin's room and ignore Gaius's protests, or. Or… He dropped down into a squat and took a step into the room.

"Prince Arthur."

Arthur froze. Shite. "Y, yes?" He scrambled to a standing position just as Gaius looked up from the book. "I thought… why are you wrapped up in your blanket? Tell me you have clothes on underneath."

"Of course, I do," he shouted, his face burning. Just what exactly did Gaius think he was there to do? "I, I forgot to tell Merlin something." He moved into the room and shut the door behind him, warmth rushing across him. If nothing else, Arthur could always count on Merlin keeping rooms warm. He tried to flex his toes and winced.

"Are you all right my lord?" Gaius stood up and set the book down. "Where are your boots sire?"

"I rushed over here. I know I should have but…" Gaius took him by the arm and led him towards the fire. "Let your feet warm up here. I'm going to get some water to warm up. We don't need your toes to fall off."

Arthur nodded, pulling the duvet tighter. "Merlin's here, right?"

"Did you have another nightmare?" Arthur nodded. He heard Gaius sigh. "Merlin!"

Arthur heard a loud thump, followed by footsteps. The door to Merlin's room opened, his servant's head sticking out. "What?"

"Prince Arthur came to see you."

"Huh?" He turned to Arthur, frowning when he saw him. "I thought you were going to sleep…where are your boots!?" He stepped out of the room and came down the steps. "You can't just run through the castle grounds without shoes on!" He knelt beside Arthur's feet and touched the left one gently. Arthur closed his eyes, pain running through his foot.

**(X)**

Of all the stupid things Arthur had decided to do this week. He sighed looking up at Arthur. His eyes were still closed. He knew he shouldn't but… "This might hurt." Before Arthur could ask what he was doing, he began to massage his feet. Arthur let out a hiss and Merlin worked the first foot over. " _beþiebeþiġe,"_ he whispered making sure to keep his eyes down. Arthur's feet warmed up immediately.

Arthur let out a sigh. "What in the world did you do?"

"I rubbed them," Merlin offered. He waited half a minute before daring to look at Arthur. "It makes the blood circulate faster." He continued to rub Arthur's feet to keep the ruse going. "What was so important you had to run over here without your boots on and risk frost bite?"

He swallowed hard, "I just—"

Gaius came over, shot Merlin a glare, and then handed Arthur a cup. "Some tea my lord."

"Thank you, Gaius." He took the cup and drank.

Merlin couldn't find any other spots that seemed even relatively cold on either foot. He stood up and stretched, wondering why Arthur had been so stupid. Worse, they couldn't send him back to his room and risk his feet getting frozen again. It must be freezing outside if a five-minute walk, max had frozen his feet so fast.

"I'm glad you brought a blanket with you," Merlin said.

Arthur looked up. "Why?"

"Because I haven't bought one yet. You can take my bed. I'll sleep in one of the cots out here." Why it did seem like he was always giving his bed up to Arthur now? Didn't he know he had his own bedroom? "I'll move the books." He started back into his room, Arthur following him.

"You don't have to."

"There's no way you can go back to your room without boots." He ran his hand over the duvet Arthur had wrapped himself up in. Sure, enough it felt like it had been hit with a mist, and given the temperatures outside, it had probably been a freezing mist. "And you accused me of not being able to dress myself."

"I can't sleep, okay?"

Merlin frowned. He'd thought after all the attention he'd given Arthur that evening that they had laid all his fears to rest. "Still? Maybe you should ask Gaius for something stronger."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because everyone keeps trying to take you away from me."

"I thought you were over this. I'm not going anywhere. No one is trying to take me away. Uther was the only one trying to run me off, and you made sure he stopped." He began removing the pile of books he had on the bed and his winter coat that he'd been using as a temporary blanket.

Arthur grabbed his arm. "Merlin. I don't want you to court Lucien."

"I told you I wouldn't."

"I mean it." he tightened his grip. "I need you."

Merlin's cheeks burned. "Right." Even if Arthur didn't mean it the way Merlin wished he did, it was nice to hear. Actually, all of this was rather nice. All he needed now was for Arthur to push him down onto his bed and kiss him.

"Every time I close my eyes, you're gone. And the few times I do find you…." he shook his head.

He wished there were some other way he could ease Arthur's fear. He'd need to look into spells that stopped nightmares. "I'm not sure what I can do to help." He set the books down on the bedside table. "But you need to figure something out. People are going to spread rumors if you keep coming in here every night."

"I told Durward and everyone else that I was having stomach problems."

"So, I'm a stomach problem now," Merlin asked, grinning.

"You do make my stomach upset at times," he said, returning the smile.

"The feeling is mutual, I promise." Though his stomach problems were butterflies and longing. The stress and frustration that one day he would have to give Arthur up to some stranger. "You can't just think the second I'm out of sight that I'm gone. Do you think I'm planning an escape or something?"

"Of course not. It's just…"

"Because if I wanted to leave, I could just walk out of Camelot and not come back. I don't need a plan."

Arthur glared at him. "Why do you think I'm worried?!"

Merlin blinked at that. "Arthur, I've never once left Camelot without telling you, unless I'm gathering ingredients like tonight. You can't just waste your whole life following me."

For a second, he swore Arthur was going to cry, but he managed to shove it away, instead looking angry.

"I'm not trying to be mean, but no one will marry you if your idea of a date is to stalk me."

"Your favorite color is blue, you love apples, especially if you've just picked them. You prefer spring to summer, but winter to autumn. Your birthday is October 23. Whenever you're stressed out about something, you sink into yourself and you hardly let anyone get near you. You don't mind the stocks much, because you _like_ how much fun the children have throwing food at you. You don't really care much for medicine, but you love going into the woods to gather the ingredients for it, and if it's a warm day, you take a nap. I know you better than anyone!" He finished, his eyes locking with Merlin's.

"I... I guess you do," Merlin said at a loss. He'd never thought for even a second that Arthur paid that much attention to him. He also wasn't sure why Arthur was telling him all of this. Knowing Merlin's likes and dislikes had nothing to do with his nightmares.

"I can't lose you," he whispered. "The very thought of you no longer being by my side terrifies me." He leaned closer to Merlin, their bodies touching.

 _Does he?_ No, he couldn't think about that. There was no way Arthur of all people cared for him. He was just desperate to keep his friends close. "I won't go anywhere, Arthur. I promise." And he'd promise as many times as needed to put him at ease.

"Merlin, I…." He grabbed Merlin's hand.

Merlin's heart was going to explode if Arthur didn't take a few steps back. "I don't know if you remember, but I told you a long time ago, I will always be your shield Arthur."

"I do."

"What good is a shield if it's nowhere near the person its protecting?"

Arthur seemed to think about that. "Then I will always be your sword."

Merlin swallowed at that. Maybe Arthur was drunk. Just yesterday he'd had a date with Morgana. He'd told Merlin himself that Morgana was special to him. Something here was not adding up. "O, okay."

Arthur brought his hand up to Merlin's face, his lips claiming Merlin's.

**(TBC)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Merlin, you’re such a spaz sometimes….
> 
> Warnings: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash. Merlin/Arthur and Arthur/Merlin
> 
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump
> 
> Notes 2: Being posted from phone and may have minor changes done later after put through a grammar check.

Oh Merlin, you're such a spaz sometimes….

Warnings: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash. Merlin/Arthur and Arthur/Merlin

Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter, 10

Without thinking, Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's back and leaned into the kiss. Arthur's eyes held a mixture of relief and happiness, and as much as Merlin loved looking into those eyes, he allowed his own to close so he could lose himself in the emotions of the moment.

Arthur tightened his hold, his hands traveling to Merlin's hips as he stepped back, bringing them closer to Merlin's bed.

_Just a little closer…_

And common sense broke through.

 _We can't do this!_ His body tensed, Arthur pulling back immediately. This wasn't happening. It wasn't allowed to happen. Who did Arthur think he was, walking into his room and kissing him? Even if that's what he'd been hoping for a few minutes ago, fate was not supposed to suddenly shrug its shoulders and turn around so it could pretend like it had no idea what was going on and let anything at all happen! That's how world's ended!

"Merlin I—"

"You can't do this!"

"Why not," Arthur demanded, his fear fast turning to anger.

 _What do you mean, why?!_ How dense could Arthur be? Even he had to be aware of his status. No one was that stupid! Merlin heard him yell the words 'I'm the prince' so much, there was no way that Arthur wasn't aware of why he couldn't be partaking in this particular behavior with his servant. However, since it seemed that Arthur had lost his bloody mind, he'd be nice and explain the situation as a proper servant should. "You're the Prince of Camelot!"

"So!?"

"So!? You've got to be the responsible one!" Not exactly true. If anyone was going to be responsible, it would be Gaius. Arthur couldn't do this to him, though. Merlin was always the one stuck trying to keep an appropriate distance between them, and that was hard enough, only working because Arthur kept his own distance. How could Arthur expect him to remain strong after kissing him!? And not just a small kiss, but a— _DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!_

"You enjoyed that kiss as much as I did," Arthur protested, taking a step forward. He dared to put one hand on Merlin's lower back.

His back felt warm immediately, his blush deepening. "Of course, I enjoyed it! That doesn't make it okay!"

Arthur scrunched up his face, a mix of disbelief and confusion clearly showing. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"It's common sense! It doesn't have to!"

"That's the complete opposite of common sense!"

"Uther will kill me!"

"I won't let him!"

"You have no control—"

"Will the two of you be quiet," Gaius yelled as he entered the room. Arthur and Merlin jumped, looking at the physician and grabbing each other's hand at the same second. "What are you two fighting about now!?" He was standing in the doorway and seemed ready to beat them both if they didn't give him a proper answer. So, Merlin gave him one.

"He kissed me," Merlin shouted, pointing at Arthur with his free hand like this was a spat between four-year-old's over a toy.

"He didn't try to stop me," Arthur shouted. "In fact, he kissed me back!" It seemed Arthur was also a four-year-old right now.

Gaius stared at them, no doubt digesting the information slowly. Merlin couldn't blame him. Just a few hours ago they'd been talking about Lucien and whether a relationship with him would work all things considered and now this. Merlin had been so close to avoiding this situation. If Arthur could have just waited one more day!

"For the love of! Get over it, both of you! Merlin, if Prince Arthur is crazy enough to like you, then so be it!" He looked at Arthur. "And you. If you're stupid enough to want to be with this idiot—"

"HEY!—"

Gaius's expression softened; his voice gentle now. "Make sure you're aware of what that entails."

Arthur's grip on Merlin's hand tightened. "I've already thought this through. He gave Merlin a quick look. "I _need_ him."

Gaius gave a small nod and smiled. "If you're willing to protect Merlin from your father, then you have my blessing."

 _GAIUS! You're not supposed to give your blessing!_ Merlin felt like someone had hit him with a rock. Gaius was supposed to be helping him keep the peace, not add to the chaos! Gaius should be telling Arthur all the reasons why a relationship wouldn't work. Why the two of them could never be together, minus the information about the prophecy. How misguided Arthur was at the moment, that the feelings would pass. That he'd just…just…!

 _The two most important people in my life have gone mad!_ How was he supposed to fix this without Gaius?!

"If you cannot, I ask that you please go back to your room sire and we will all pretend that this night never happened."

 _Good idea!_ Only Gaius would be the only one capable of forgetting. The damage had been done. Merlin would never be able to forget Arthur's lips on his own, or the embrace, or anything that had transpired in the last four minutes. Worse, he wanted more than ever now to join fate is turning a blind eye and stay with Arthur, even if for a single night. Where was a loophole when you needed one?

Arthur looked so serious; his mouth fixed in a firm line as he nodded to Gaius. "No one will touch him."

_He sounds like he's making a vow…_

"I'll take my leave then," Gaius said, bowing his head slightly. "Now stop fighting! It's late!" He turned to leave and slammed the door shut once he was out.

_I guess I don't get a say in this._

"Merlin?"

Merlin studied him, his stomach knotting at Arthur's look of desperation. Could they get away with this? The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. He loved Arthur. He loved how downright stunning he looked, his awkward displays of emotions, his sad attempts at trying not to get frustrated during council meetings. The way he went on a rampage in the dumbest ways, like throwing fruit and dragging Merlin around by the hand. He loved every second they were together, his smile… He wanted to be with him. "To hell with Uther. You're my only king," he growled. He pushed Arthur back before he could change his mind, both of them landing on the bed, and kissed him. If Arthur was drunk, he could play it off as a dream, or nightmare depending on how the prince took it in the morning.

Arthur's hand slid down to Merlin's side as he kissed him again, harder. He reached out to the bedside table, Merlin briefly wondering what he was doing. He decided he didn't care until he saw his book from Lucien go flying across the room and hit the floor.

He broke their kiss and sat up. "HEY! Why did you throw my book!?" He glared at Arthur, but the prince was smiling, and suddenly it didn't really matter. _You're such a prat._ He returned Arthur's smile with his own, claiming Arthur's lips once again.

**(X)**

Merlin yawned, a large smile stretching across his face. That had to be the best dream he'd ever had. Perfect down to the last detail. Dreams like that were exactly why he had to gather fantasy fodder while he was awake. A giggle escaped just thinking about it again. Arthur had denied his father and decided he was far more important than, well, everything. _If only._ Perhaps he'd torment Arthur more than usual today. It was up to him to get Arthur's nightmares to stop after all, which meant assuring Arthur he would 'never' leave his side.

Snickering he stretched, frowning when he couldn't move his right hand. He opened his eyes, and it took every ounce of self-control he had not to scream.

 _Why is Arthur in my bed!?_ Arthur looked peaceful, their fingers laced together, and holding their hands against his chest. The last hour before he fell asleep came rushing back in an emotional frenzy. The kissing, the touching. _Oh, no. No!_ He closed his eyes and brought his free hand to them. This couldn't be happening. How was he going to explain this!? What had they done?! He was going to be thrown out of Camelot and murdered once Uther was sure Arthur would never find out about it. How could he have been so stupid?

He opened his eyes again, taking in Arthur's sleeping form. Forget stupid. Who had the willpower to deny this?

"Stop moving," Arthur muttered.

"My lord, you need to go back to your room, now!"

Arthur's eyes opened, and he frowned. "Huh? Why?"

Why!? Did Arthur not remember what'd happened last night? Had he been drunk? Could he cover his tracks by claiming Arthur's nightmares had transformed into something far stranger? That was the easiest solution by far. Besides, it wasn't like they'd slept together, they'd just made out… a lot _. It'll be okay. Arthur doesn't remember a thing. Even if he did, he's a pro when it comes to memory repression._ The strength Arthur could call forth in refusing to acknowledge something was amazing, and right now Merlin's only hope. "Belden is going to be worried," he said, trying to keep his voice even.

Arthur yawned, his eyes closing again. "The night guard will tell him where I'm at."

"R, right." He bit his lip. "I'll go retrieve your breakfast then? If you'd just let go of my hand…" He realized he should have climbed out of the bed first before mentioning the obvious issue, but it was too late. Arthur's eyes opened again, and he sat up looking rather annoyed, still keeping Merlin's hand in his own.

"Are you trying to kick me out?"

"Yes," he said, mentally cursing, as a blank look took over Arthur's face. "No. I mean… I don't know!"

"Then let me sleep until you do," he said, scowling.

Merlin let out a long sigh. "Uther will never allow this." If he couldn't reason around the issue at hand, he had no choice, he'd have to mention it directly. Just one more thing Arthur would have to figure out how to repress because Merlin would be dealing with the more pressing issue of erasing everyone's minds so no one could even suspect they knew each other.

"My father will get over it." He pulled Merlin into his lap, the warlock letting out a small yelp as Arthur wrapped his arms around him. "Don't even think of trying to get out of this. And that's an order, Merlin. You will not take this from me. I need you." He nuzzled the side of Merlin's face with his own. "You obviously feel the same way."

 _If we start making out now, we'll never leave my room!_ Why did Arthur have to make things so difficult now? Before Merlin could laugh something off or flat out ignore things, and Arthur wouldn't question any of it. Accidental touches. Merlin's hand, caressing Arthur's. Once Arthur had woken up while Merlin had been stroking his hair. Not once after any of those incidents or one of many other slip-ups from Merlin had Arthur even acknowledged the actions. "But—"

"If you care about me at all, you'll accept my feelings."

Merlin groaned. He couldn't possibly deny that. There was no good way to handle any of this either. Staying with Arthur was a problem. Not staying with him was a problem. He wasn't sure which one resulted in worse problems, but given Arthur's previous behavior in just the last week alone, it would probably be the later one.

"Fine! But whatever happens after this is _your_ fault." He'd spent far too long trying to keep this from happening to take the blame for it. Besides, Arthur had kissed him first.

"Me? This is _your_ fault. If you'd have just stayed in Ealdor, I would have never met you, and I certainly wouldn't have been dumb enough to fall for you."

"Well, I'm afraid I can't go back in time and change that." _Believe me, I would if I could!_ At the very least he'd attempt a do over, pretending to be just like all the other servants in Camelot. Then Arthur wouldn't give him a second look. He'd be just another person working at the castle and secretly saving Arthur's arse every few hours.

Arthur looked surprised. "No?"

Merlin stared at him. "No."

"Good." He leaned forward and kissed him.

Merlin closed his eyes, a rush of warmth consuming him. A small part of him, probably what was left of his sanity, wished he could use magic to reverse all of this. Would things be easier for them if they hadn't met? If Arthur had let Merlin return to Ealdor without going after him when the bandits had shown up? He'd been in love with Arthur long before then, but the feelings hadn't been mutual, not consciously anyway. "What do we do now?"

"We don't have to do anything. As long as you stop letting people hang all over you, I won't have to make an official announcement."

 _Official..!?_ Merlin's breath caught. "You can't do that!"

"I'm not going to live in fear or hide our relationship, and I'm definitely not going to let others hang all over you either. And If someone has an issue with it, they can talk to me. I'll happily remove their head and hand it back to them."

"Oh." This version of Arthur was scarier than he'd thought. Even under the love spell the Sidhe had used, Arthur hadn't been so… _What if he is under a spell?_ Would it be wrong to take advantage of him while he worked to break it? _Of course, it would!_ It would explain so much of Arthur's strange behavior, too. There was such a slight chance that Arthur actually cared about him, but It was much more likely a sorcerer had cast a love spell. What better way to end the Pendragon bloodline and to keep Merlin distracted then by having Arthur fall in love with him? Bonus points to the sorcerer for getting Uther to kill him so they wouldn't have to. The sorcerer would be able to walk into Camelot unopposed once Merlin was gone.

 _Only in Camelot,_ he sighed and closed his eyes. Anywhere else he wouldn't have to worry about such things. But this was the reality he lived in. _Okay, one step at a time. I've dealt with love enchanted Arthur plenty of times. I can do it again._ And probably twenty or more times from now until Arthur finally fell in genuine love so a love spell wouldn't be able to take hold, and he got married. _I'll be at this for years!_ He mentally sobbed at the thought.

"So, what will it be?" The smug look on Arthur's face told Merlin he already knew he'd won.

"What about Gaius and my mother?"

That seemed to throw the prince off. He frowned slightly. "What about them?"

"Well Gaius is my uncle and I can't just not hug my mother when I go see her." Not that he'd gotten to see her since the bandit issue, but he'd been trying to. It just so happened every sorcerer in the world seemed to know when he was thinking of leaving Camelot and decided that was the perfect time to go after Arthur or send in magical creatures to destroy the city. Anything really to make Merlin put his traveling plans to the side.

"I don't care if your family hangs on you," Arthur muttered. "Do I…?" He looked away, his face red. "I guess after yesterday I do seem overbearing, but it wasn't because of Gaius! I was wound up because of Lucien."

 _Good, the love spell isn't too strong_. No doubt the caster's attempt at hiding it. That would make removing it much easier. "Alright. I will tell Gareth he can't hang on me anymore."

"Y, you will?"

"That's what you want, isn't it?"

"I didn't think you'd actually agree to it…"

 _Did I actually have a choice?_ "What do we do about Uther?"

"I won't let him harm you."

Arthur would have to spend every second of the rest of Uther's life guarding Merlin then. If Uther suspected Arthur wasn't paying attention at any given moment, he'd personally impale Merlin with a sword. "You realize why he'll be angry, right?"

"Because he doesn't like you?"

"Well yes, but I'm your servant, not to mention male and you're the only heir to the throne. How will you continue the Pendragon bloodline?"

"We've been together for what, six hours? I don't think that's something to worry about just yet." He kissed Merlin on the neck, the warlock shivering. "I'll think of something."

 _We need to break this spell now before I lose my mind._ He did have to act the part though, or the spell would send Arthur into a possible frenzy. Grinning, he turned and kissed Arthur on the lips _. I'll just jump off the castle roof once we clear all this up._ There was no way he'd be able to live with himself after Arthur's feelings for him disappeared. _Maybe I can find a way to wipe both our memories._ "You really do need to let me go so we can get the day started."

"It doesn't really need to start…"

Merlin sighed. "Yes, it does and one of the first things I have to do is go get your boots so you can go back to your room."

Arthur nodded. "Last night was not one of my brightest ideas. I was just so worried you had snuck off to meet Lucien after I'd left. I think we should sleep in my room from now on. The bed is bigger."

Merlin could feel his blood draining. That was not what he'd been implying. "I can't just—!" _The spell!_ Right. Taking a breath, he started over, forcing a grin before the spell kicked in and sent Arthur on a rampage. "You're right and you do have a blanket."

"I will be purchasing you one, today. I still can't believe Gareth didn't replace it already," he said, scowling.

"I... I told him I could wait and…" _And what?!_ "You brought up wanting to get me a birthday gift... I thought that's what you were getting me, so I didn't rush out to get one…"

"I, I could do that… better than the gift I'd come up with, anyway," he muttered.

"What were you going to get me?"

"Me."

Merlin blinked. "You?"

"What better gift could you get than myself?"

He looked so sure of himself Merlin couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "R, right…" The spell definitely did not stop his arrogance. He shook his head and climbed out of the bed, daring to look at his dresser and deciding he would not be changing until Arthur was safely locked away in his own bedroom.

"We weren't together at the time! I thought maybe if I could show you what it would be like to be with me, that way you'd say yes when I asked you out." His face was grower a darker shade of red as he spoke.

 _Wow, he's really been trying_ … For some reason Arthur's words impressed him. He'd known Arthur was a hard worker and full of determination. That Arthur would direct that energy in trying to woo him. _It's the spell_ , he reminded himself, his fragile fantasy cracking into a million pieces along with his spirit. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For putting in so much effort to win my affection." He grinned; his face warming up. No one had ever tried to impress him before. It made him feel special. _Spell…_ He closed his eyes and released a long breath as a hiss _. I really am going to need to wipe my memory after this._ "Let's go eat."

Arthur crawled off the bed. "Merlin? What's wrong?"

"Arthur, I'm not sure how this will turn out. I can't imagine this working. I want it to." He threw his arms around Arthur's neck. "I thought you were such an arse when I first met you, but you were a good-looking arse. I realized I had feelings for you. When you went out of your way to get the antidote for me, I couldn't imagine wanting to be with anyone else."

"I almost kissed you right before you woke up," he admitted.

"You did?"

"I only stopped because you sat up."

_The spell is rewriting his memories._

"I should really go get your breakfast." He removed his arms and started for the door.

"I'll come with you."

"You don't have to," Merlin blurted. "I mean, you love staying in bed until the last second. I could come get you once your breakfast is here."

"… honestly, I don't think I could relax if I wanted to. I'd probably just stare at the ceiling, missing you."

Merlin's heart about gave out at that. _Why is he so susceptible to love spells?!_ And it seemed once Arthur got over his initial worries of embarrassment about sharing his feelings, he had a full arsenal of sappy sentences to use. _I might not make it through the day._ He needed to speak with Gaius, _now_. They needed to make the strongest love spell antidote possible to shove down Arthur's throat.

It was strange though, no one new had entered Camelot or gotten close to Arthur. He was positive of that since Arthur had been stalking him. That meant the love spell had to be from a potion, which meant Gaius could mix an antidote using herbs to remove it. "I'd miss you too." He held his hand out. Arthur grabbed it and hand in hand, they walked down the steps into the main tower.

"Good morning you two," Gaius said, cheerfully. Three bowls of porridge sat on the table, steam rising from them.

Merlin ignored the food, walking straight towards Gaius. "All we did was kiss," he screamed.

The other two looked at him. Merlin felt like crawling under the table now and not coming out, but Gaius had to know he'd had some self-restraint.

"Whatever you did, it's none of my business," Gaius said, after he'd regained his composure.

Arthur sat down at the table. Now that they'd left the bed, he looked tired.

"Gaius, we have some of that herb mixture to help with energy, right," Merlin asked, his voice sounding far to cheerful, even to him. He walked past the table and over to Gaius's things. He knew his uncle would get annoyed if he started going through his herbs and sure enough, Gaius took the bait.

"Merlin!" He went to shove Merlin, the younger warlock grabbing Gaius's hand. Gaius raised an eyebrow and Merlin motioned to Arthur. The prince was already asleep, his head on the table. "What's this about?"

"I think he's under a love spell," Merlin said, quickly.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, Gaius, what's the best way to end a bloodline?"

Gaius frowned. He seemed to be putting the same plot together in his mind that Merlin had. "I don't know…"

"He's never shown any interest in me until a few weeks ago."

"There haven't been any outsiders in Camelot."

"So, someone put something in his drink."

"Even if they did, they'd have to continue putting it in his drink. We both know no one working at the castle would do such a thing."

"Gaius please. We know he's been acting strange lately. This might be why."

"…All right," Gaius sighed. "Fine. It's not like an antidote will cause him any harm, one way or another. What are you going to do once you find out he's not?"

"But he is!"

"Merlin, you and Prince Arthur have both spent most of your time together in complete denial. The prince was watching your behind the second you stepped into Camelot, just as much as you were his. I should know. I could see him from my window sitting behind you while you were in the stocks for an hour before he decided to approach you."

"W, well maybe someone started putting it in his drink right before I arrived and just recently increased the dose!" Someone who knew about the prophecy, a druid or a sorcerer he'd angered when he was a child or something.

"Why are you so scared that he cares about you? You've wanted him to acknowledge your feelings for years."

"… It's no different than dating Lucien. Even if we care about each other, I still have to lie and hide so much from him."

"Don't throw your happiness away over that." He grabbed a variety of herbs and started crushing them inside a bowl. "But to ease your fears, we'll make sure Prince Arthur isn't being charmed."

"Thank you…"

"Why am I not surprised?" Merlin and Gaius froze. When they dared to look and saw Belden walking towards the table, a breakfast tray in his hands. "He didn't sleep at the table all night, did he?"

"Of course not! He stole my bed again," Merlin muttered. No need to add that he'd joined Arthur in that same bed.

"You might as well give him your room at this rate," Belden sighed. He placed the tray onto the table in front of Arthur. "My Lord, your breakfast is here."

Arthur shook his head, his face hidden beneath his arms.

"Good morning Gareth, here to steal Merlin for the day?" Arthur shot up; his eyes narrowed at the door. Belden took the opportunity to shove the tray directly in front of the prince. "Eat your breakfast."

Merlin gaped at them. Belden was a fast learner.

"Don't lie about stuff like that." Arthur took a fork from the tray and stabbed a piece of quince.

"If you'd just get up and eat your breakfast like a normal person, I wouldn't have to," Belden sighed.

Merlin stood at the right spot to block their view of Gaius and listened to their banter. He was glad Belden had learned to handle Arthur, though definitely a tad jealous. Before Arthur had only tolerated his insults and jabs and no one else's. _Stop it._

"Here's some tea, my lord," Gaius said. "It has the same herbs as the soup to help wake you up."

Arthur grabbed the cup without complaint and downed half of it in a single swig and grimaced. "This taste's familiar, but it's not what was in the soup."

"O, of course it is." Merlin took his own cup of tea, sipping at it nervously. He waited for something, anything, to happen. Arthur to turn a strange color, to gag, fall over maybe, or perhaps realize he'd been charmed, pick the cup up and throw it at Merlin's head. None of that seemed to be happening, though.

"Did you do it right," Merlin hissed.

"I'm practically an expert at this antidote because of him."

He sat down at the table; his eyes fixated on Arthur's. The last time the spell had broken, Arthur's eyes had flashed red.

"Is this a love spell antidote," Arthur asked.

 _How would he even know that!?_ "W, why would you know what a love spell antidote tastes like?" This was bad.

He took another drink from the cup. "This is definitely a love potion antidote." Something seemed to click in his brain, because he looked to Merlin, glaring. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything! We're doctors, not sorcerers!"

"And doctors mix antidotes to cure spells," Arthur growled. "Did you actually think my feelings for you were because of a love spell?"

"Did you two actually?" Belden glanced from Arthur to Merlin. "You told me it was against the law to court the prince!"

"It is not!"

"It practically is! Unless Uther approves, and you know he won't, he's going to have me executed!" O _r something far worse that I can't even imagine at the moment._

"Merlin, just trust me."

"I do trust you. It's Uther I don't trust."

"No, you don't." He motioned to the cup of tea on the table. "Or you wouldn't be tricking me into drinking this concoction. I will deal with my father."

"Okay…" In the meantime, he'd been looking through every book Gaius and he owned, visiting Lucien's bookshop, Gregory's library, every place he could think of, to find a memory wiping spell. It might come down to wiping everyone's memory, or if he was lucky, just Uther's.

He shook his head and laughed. "I can't believe you actually thought… I might not have realized what I was feeling, but I've had these feelings for years! You're lucky I didn't have William arrested just to get him away from you!" He set the fork down and stood up. Merlin backed away slowly, Arthur following him. "If I had heard one more time about how I didn't really know you and wouldn't accept you if I did, I was going to flip out!"

"But—"

"Guess what!" Merlin's back touched the wall, and Arthur dropped his arm down next to his head. "I don't care if you're a tree pretending to be human, you're my boyfriend, I've wanted to court you for years, and I'm going to court you! Maybe even marry you! If that's a problem, start figuring out how _you're_ going to deal with it." He looked away, grabbed a piece of rolled up meat and started for the door. "Come on, Belden."

Belden glanced at Merlin before chasing after the prince.

Merlin merely stared, watching the two go. "What just happened?"

Gaius sighed.

**(X)**

_I hate audiences…_ Arthur glanced at Merlin, his servant, no, his boyfriend, was staring out the window, a dazed look on his face. The sight brought a smile to his own lips. Merlin and he were actually dating. No more worrying about Merlin being stolen away, or someone else courting him, or the possibility of Merlin just walking out of Camelot and never returning. _He's so adorable._ He brought a hand up to his face to cover his mouth, his cheeks flushing.

There was the issue of Merlin believing his feelings were fabricated. _A love spell antidote._ He snorted. The last love spell thrown at him had barely taken hold. He'd felt a fondness for the target, but nothing more. Every time the sorcerer had attempted to recast the spell, images of Merlin would rush through his mind. The more he thought about Merlin, the less strength the spell had had on him. He'd thought it odd at the time, but it made perfect sense now.

He'd played along with the spell anyway, watching Merlin scramble to hold him back and drinking so much tea he'd avoided anything but water for the two weeks after the ordeal had ended.

Hopefully, his drinking the antidote would ease Merlin's fears. His feelings were just as strong as they had been before he'd taken the antidote.

"The last audience is with two men from the northernmost point of Camelot, from the port city of Glencier," one of the pages announced.

"Send them in," Uther sighed. "Then we can have lunch."

"Lunch would be good," Arthur agreed. Lunch meant alone time with Merlin. By now his fool had to see that he was not under a spell and that his feelings for him were real.

Two men entered the room, Arthur barely giving them a look. _Probably another border dispute._

"King Uther," one of the men said. "We are truly indebted that you're hearing us out when we've only arrived this morning." He bowed his head, his companion doing the same. "I am Linwood, and this is North. I will get straight to the point. The city of Glencier is gone."

Arthur turned from Merlin, looking at the two men. Both were covered in wounds, their armor dented, cloaks torn, and both had a look of defeat and desperation in their eyes. Arthur knew that look.

_What in the world?_

"Was the city invaded," Uther demanded.

"Not by men," Linwood said. "These are dark creatures."

"There's a necromancer nearby," North said, quietly.

A rush of murmurs filled the room.

"Quiet," Uther screamed, the council's whispers stopping. "A necromancer? Are you sure?"

"I've seen it," North said. "The creatures walking through the rubble of our city aren't men. Not anymore."

Uther narrowed his eyes. "Ulrich! Go fetch Gaius!"

"My lord!" Ulrich bowed quickly and ran out of the throne room.

"How many creatures attacked the city," Arthur asked.

"There were hundreds," Linwood said. "And something…" He shuddered, his eyes dropping to the floor.

"It's a creature I've never seen before," North said. "So large it could take down walls with a single ram." He brought his hand to his eyes. "The only survivors are those we managed to evacuate to ships. They had to sail off. When we left, hardly anything was left standing."

**(TBC)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to stress I don’t drag out updates for the fun of it. I usually work on three different chapters at a time, every evening, or during the day depending on what shifts I work at my job and I also do tiny bits of writing on future fanfics. And original stuff. Plus, somewhere in there I have to read and sleep. Sometimes I include food into this scenario. Long story short, I apologize for how long updates take.  
> Warnings: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever. Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

I just want to stress I don't drag out updates for the fun of it. I usually work on three different chapters at a time, every evening, or during the day depending on what shifts I work at my job and I also do tiny bits of writing on future fanfics. And original stuff. Plus, somewhere in there I have to read and sleep. Sometimes I include food into this scenario. Long story short, I apologize for how long updates take.

Warnings: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever. Merlin/Arthur Arthur/Merlin

Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 11

"Necromancer," Merlin breathed as all the blood drained from his face. _This is my punishment for kissing Arthur!_ Gaius would kill him once he joined them in the throne room, knowing this catastrophe had been a direct result of their, sort of, agreed upon relationship. Fate had turned its back and been horrified when it turned around and saw what had transpired. It had then decided to punish them by killing the people of Glencier with a necromancer. This was completely unfair, because if fate had done its job and kept watching, surely Arthur would have fainted, or Merlin, or both, or maybe the tower would have collapsed putting Merlin into a coma until Arthur married someone else. Fate could have done anything it wanted to stop this relationship from being established. Not that Merlin had actually agreed to a relationship, but Arthur had asked, and he was the prince and who was he to deny the prince? Okay, he ignored Arthur's orders most of the time, but as his servant he had to follow some of them every now and then. It might as well be this one, right?

 _Not that he actually ordered me to date him._ But Arthur was already talking marriage, because why not? He had no idea Arthur moved so fast in relationships. Yes, Arthur tended to do so when under a love spell, but he wasn't this time, which made this mess all the more terrifying. Merlin couldn't just knock the spell caster aside the head with a rock or get Arthur to come to his senses with an antidote, because it seemed for once that Arthur's feelings for someone were genuine. That someone just happened to be him for the first time ever. _Maybe I should hit Arthur with a rock._ That could fix everything. He could act like Arthur had never admitted his feelings, and maybe he'd be too scared to admit them again.

"This is horrible," Gwen whispered. "Do you think the necromancer will come here?"

Merlin dragged his attention outward. _Right, necromancer._ "...Eventually, if it's not stopped. I can't imagine it would only attack one city unless it's carrying out a revenge of some sort." Okay, suddenly being Arthur's boyfriend was bad for the country anyway, but the necromancer was worse. Best to deal with the far more pressing matter of undead first. They weren't the easiest things to deal with when they were alone, so of course this one had brought an army with it and some unknown creature, probably also undead. _Maybe if I throw myself from the tower fate will stop having a nervous breakdown and the necromancer will vanish._ Right, and so would the army and all the other magic users attempting to kill Arthur thanks to Uther's stupidity. Arthur's dream woman would then appear, begging him to protect her, and Merlin could drag himself off into the sunset, back to Ealdor. Or a forest and spend the rest of his days with the Druids.

"Why would someone risk summoning a necromancer for revenge," Belden asked, frowning. "That's reckless."

"Some people don't care if others get hurt.” He stopped, seeing the look of horror on Belden's face, though he couldn't exactly blame him. Revenge by necromancer didn't happen often. Even before Uther had brought a lid down on magic, a spell caster summoning a necromancer had been rare. The few attacks had been recorded, thankfully and plenty of different types of necromancers were classified in books. Hopefully, whatever they had to deal with was in one of those books next to a paragraph on exact instructions on how to kill the thing. Rekill? Unanimate?

"What are we going to do," Gwen asked. She looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"Gaius will know what to do," Merlin said, smiling at her. He raised his hand to pat her arm, when the distinct feeling of someone glaring at him from behind, daring him to carry out his action, rushed him. He shoved both hands into his pockets.

"Y, yes, that's right! Gaius knows how to handle these sorts of things and with the knights, we'll be perfectly safe!" She forced a smile that didn't fit her or convey any feelings of happiness.

"Right," Merlin said, knowing full well this wasn't going to be a knight problem, but a Merlin and Gaius one. Luca and Percival, who were currently the only two knights in the room, seemed to realize that was the case too, because they were looking at him with very grim faces. There was nothing he could do about that, though. Undead creatures were considered magic and had to be defeated by magical means. Unless they got lucky and this was one of those weak ones that went up in flames with the smallest of sparks. Of course, that might burn down the city of Glencier, but one problem at a time.

"Gaius is on his way," Ulrich gasped, leaning against the doorframe, and trying to catch his breath.

"Good," Uther said, turning to the others present. "Servants are dismissed for the time being. Stay in the dining hall and don't speak a word of this yet," he warned them. "Should someone decide to ignore my order, they'll find themselves in the dungeon, if they're lucky."

_I can't leave!_

Gaius walked in quickly, his eyes falling on Merlin before he looked to Uther. "I'm afraid I will be invoking Merlin's status as my apprentice, my Lord."

"Yes, yes, whatever you need," Uther said, with a quick wave of his hand.

If the situation wasn't so bad, he'd throw his arms around Gaius. Instead, he smiled at the other two servants. "What am I supposed to do?" He walked over to Gaius, who was standing next to the two men from Glencier.

"We need to find out exactly what we're dealing with," Gaius said, turning to Merlin. "I need you to go fetch the books we have on dark creatures from our room."

"Right!" He caught Arthur looking at him, worry clearly etched on his face, and offered him a small smile. It wasn't much, but he couldn't let Arthur spiral out of control while they tried to put together a plan.

"We'll have them help us figure out what kind of necromancer is in Glencier. Once we know that, we'll be able to decide on the proper course of action."

Merlin nodded and mouthed the words, 'It's fine.' to Arthur. Only to see the prince stealthily moving from his seat towards him.

"Oswin, I need you to bring me some paper and ink," Gaius said. The page nodded and rushed out of the room. "Now Merlin!"

"I'm going!" The council itself had begun talking amongst themselves, while the servants started exiting the room. Merlin followed the servants out, hoping Arthur wouldn't be able to find him in the crowd.

"Merlin," Belden said, grabbing the warlock's arm. "Gaius can stop this, right?" He was trying to sound matter of fact, but his body was shaking. Merlin gave a quick look around, didn't see Arthur, and hugged the younger servant. It was easy to forget he was only fifteen, and just barely. Belden's birthday had been only a few weeks ago. "Gaius knows exactly what to do. Everything will be fine." He released him and grinned. "This isn't the first time he's had to deal with stuff like this." _And I've dealt with a few myself._ They hadn't been necromancers, but any experience against an undead creature would be helpful in this situation.

Belden nodded, looking slightly calmer. "Okay."

A hand suddenly clamped down on Belden's shoulder from behind, both him and Merlin jumping. "We have this under control, Belden. Go ahead and see if your little sister needs help in the kitchen. Just don't mention any of this yet." Arthur gave one of his winning smiles, but Merlin could feel the murderous intent billowing from him.

Belden did not seem to notice. "My lord… thank you." He dropped into a low bow and took off down the hall.

"That was nice of you," Merlin said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm a nice person." He grabbed Merlin's hand.

Merlin's eyes instantly went to their hands. "Shouldn't you be in the throne room?"

"My father will get over it." Silence. "… Are you just going to stare at our hands or are we getting the books?"

"R, right." Blushing, he forced himself to look forward and started towards the tower. He _really_ wanted and needed to address this, but necromancer first. Besides, he was enjoying this.

"I don't like this."

"I should hope not."

"I meant I don't like this getting thrown on you and Gaius."

"Oh, well, it won't just be us. The knights will end up involved too." Knowing what he did about undead creatures, he'd be charming a lot of swords in the near future. _Will Uther send Arthur?_ Sometimes Uther seemed more than willing to throw Arthur into any situation that might end his life with the excuse that Arthur was the prince and the people of Camelot needed to know they could rely on him. Other times he was fine with locking Arthur in his room and actually doing something about a bad situation himself. Those times were rare.

"Are you scared," Arthur laughed.

"… I am," he said, Arthur's laughter dying. His fear had nothing to do with himself, however. He held Arthur's hand tighter, praying nothing would happen to him.

"You're not going to Glencier alone," Arthur pointed out. "I'll be there, and you know I won't let anything happen to you."

Merlin wished he could be that confident. It would probably be better if he did go alone or just him and Gaius. If only he could tell Arthur about his magic. Instead, he made a face. "Of course, I'm not going alone. I don't have a death wish. What could I possibly do against undead—"

"I mean it Merlin! Promise me you won't run off alone!" He stopped, making Merlin do so as well, his eyes narrowed.

"I promise," he said, shaking his head. He wasn't running headfirst into an army of the undead. And he'd definitely have someone next to him for moral support while he tried to cast whatever complicated spell he was going to have to use to save all their arses. Preferably someone with knowledge of swordplay and good eyesight. He had every intention of surviving this ordeal and living a very long and peaceful life and he could too, if fate would stop getting in the way or at least do its job during important life events!

"Good." He started walking again, pulling Merlin with him.

Merlin smiled, watching Arthur's back. Somehow it made him feel safe. He squeezed Arthur's hand again. If he did die though, at least he could go happy.

Arthur smiled. "Are you done accusing me of being under a love spell?"

Merlin shrugged. "You can't blame me for being worried, but even if you are, I'm taking advantage of it right now while we deal with the necromancer. I deserve something in return for helping Glencier out, don't I?"

"I know I do." He pulled Merlin into the entrance of Gaius's tower and kissed him.

A gasp had them both looking to their left. Payton, one of the guards, was staring at them, his eyes wide, grinning.

_Oh no._

Arthur returned Payton's smile and pulled Merlin up the stairs.

"Arthur!"

"I told you I'm not hiding."

"At least wait until we've dealt with the necromancer and whatever else it brought with before triggering Uther's hell storm!" He couldn't save the country if he was in the dungeon or if he was dead and no one else was going to be able to get rid of it. Then he'd go down in history, if there was anyone left to write the history of Camelot down, as an idiot servant instead of the grand warlock he actually was.

"No." He smirked and released Merlin's hand as he entered the tower. "Where are these books?"

 _Jerk._ Blushing, Merlin followed. "I'll get them." He went to their public bookcase and started scanning the titles. Gaius and he would go through their more private collection later on in the evening, after Arthur was asleep. "This one…" He pulled out one book, then wished Uther wasn't so stupid and he could pull the other books out, they'd be a lot more helpful, and they would be able to settle this issue sooner, but what could he do?

"What about this one," Arthur asked. He was holding up a book on mythical creatures.

"Maybe. The creature stampeding through the city might be in there." Arthur looked pleased, Merlin having to hold back an eye roll. Sometimes the simplest things made Arthur happy. "This should be all of them."

Arthur grabbed two of the five books Merlin was holding and started for the door. "Come on."

"He, hey!" He jogged after him. "You're going to get me in trouble!"

He glanced at Merlin. "When aren't you in trouble?"

"Just let me carry the books."

"No."

"Arthur!"

Payton looked absolutely thrilled to see them pass by and bickering. Scowling, Merlin picked up his pace. "I've carried a lot of stuff and most of it is far heavier than a stack of books!"

"As your boyfriend, it's my job—"

"I don't care what I am, I'm perfectly capable of doing my job!"

Arthur stopped, looking him over. "You're right," he sighed. He leaned forward and dropped the books he had onto the three Merlin was holding. "But not today," he added, snatching all six from Merlin's hands in one fluid movement. Smirking, he took off down the hall, Merlin staring at his departing form as his brain slowly began to put together what had just happened.

"But…" Arthur was going to make it to the throne room long before he did, holding the books he was supposed to be holding. "DAMNIT ARTHUR!" He ran down the hall after him. With the way Arthur was flaunting their new relationship, Merlin would be in the dungeon before sundown. His stupid boyfriend could at least wait until _after_ they'd left for Glencier for Uther to find out about them! Not that it matter he realized. He was going to be in the dungeon anyway if Uther pretended not to realize they were dating and instead believed that he was making Arthur do his job. _Ugh! I should have stayed in Ealdor!_

He ran down the first hall, turning left when he made it to the end. There wasn't a single sign that Arthur had come this way, but there wasn't another way for him to go from the entrance they'd used. He dashed down the next hall, and the next. Four halls later, he sagged against the wall, taking in gulps of air. He knew Arthur was in good shape, but this was ridiculous. If he didn't know any better, he'd think Arthur had had a horse waiting for him two halls down from the door and had ridden it the rest of the way to the throne room.

 _No sense in hurrying now._ He began walking, wondering how much trouble he was going to get in for this one. Gaius would get mad because Uther would be mad and well, maybe spending a few days in the dungeon wouldn't be such a bad thing. As long as the door remained locked, neither one of them could harm Merlin. At least not enough to kill him. And maybe Arthur would run into a beautiful noblewoman he would have to save in Glencier while Merlin was locked up in Camelot. Arthur would come to his senses and choose the fair damsel in distress over the idiot prisoner. The relationship would work, because all the fairytales claim once a prince saves someone they live happily ever after. Merlin would eventually be released, and Camelot would eventually get its heir!

_Wait, I'm the only one who can stop a necromancer._

"Could you go any slower?"

Merlin looked up. Arthur was standing in front of the throne room, glaring at him, books still in hand.

"I didn't see the point in killing myself to get thrown into the dungeon."

"Just get over here," Arthur sighed. Merlin did so, and Arthur dropped the six books into his arms. He opened the door to the throne room and stepped inside, Merlin staggering in behind him.

"What took you so long, Merlin," Gaius demanded. He crossed the room, snatching the top two books from him. As he did, he glared at Merlin. "What were you two doing," he hissed quietly.

"I didn't do anything! He's lost his mind," Merlin whispered back.

"Prince Arthur is yours to handle, so do your job!"

"I was trying to do my job! He's trying to get me thrown into the dungeon before we even make it out of Camelot!"

"Is something wrong, Gaius," Uther asked.

"Nothing, my Lord," Gaius said cheerfully while still glaring at Merlin. "Just making sure Merlin grabbed the right books."

Arthur sat back down on his throne, his eyes dancing with amusement. It took all of Merlin's willpower not to throw one of the books he was holding at him.

Gaius allowed his glare to linger half a minute longer before turning back to the two men from Glencier. "Whatever you saw should be in one of these books." He approached them, Merlin trailing behind.

He snuck a glare at Arthur when Gaius wasn't looking, who again smirked at him, before turning his attention back to Gaius and the two men. _Arrogant jerk._ He would get Arthur back for this. He would… _he's trying to sabotage me!_ Merlin would be at Arthur's mercy for everything if Uther threw him into the dungeon, and that could _not_ happen!

"Not that one," North said.

Gaius flipped through a few more pages. "What about this one?"

"No, it was very pale, and the skin was practically stuck to its bones," Linwood explained.

"Gaius—!"

Gaius brought his elbow up without looking and launched it into Merlin's stomach.

"UGH!" Merlin doubled over, hugging his stomach. Why was everyone being so mean to him today!?

"What about this one," Gaius asked as if he just hadn't assaulted his apprentice.

"No… almost…" North frowned. "The skin wasn't rotting."

 _It's a Lich,_ Merlin mentally screamed. He knew it was; he was pretty sure Gaius knew it was, but for some reason Gaius didn't want him saying it aloud. It wasn't like the legend was illegal! Dangerous if someone took it the wrong way and reported you to Uther, but not illegal.

Percival came over to Merlin and took his arm, moving him away from Gaius. "What did you say," he asked, quietly.

"I didn't get to say anything," Merlin muttered. "But I know what it is."

Luca raised an eyebrow at that. "Do you know how to defeat it?"

"We're going to need all the inner circle knights," Merlin said.

Percival and Luca both sighed.

The inner circle knights was the nickname Merlin had given to the knights who knew about his magic. Meaning, all the knights that had just endured Arthur's horrible jealous behavior were going to have to follow his lead in stopping a lich of all things.

_I don't want to, but…_

"Listen, Arthur won't lash out at any of you anymore, okay?"

Percival snorted. "He's not worried about us. It's Gareth's head he's after."

Merlin nodded. Now that he thought about it, Gareth was the one who irked Arthur most of the time.

"What was the breaking point," Luca asked.

"Lucien." Which was strange because if someone had to choose between the bookshop keeper's son or the highly illegal warlock, most people would grab the bookshop keeper's son and run. Fast. And then there were the more practical reasons for choosing Lucien, such as a better paycheck, better job security. He was definitely better looking than Merlin.

 _But Arthur doesn't like to read._ Knowing Arthur, that was probably the deciding factor.

"I knew he'd come around eventually," Percival said, sighing. "Just didn't think it'd take this long." He looked at Arthur and shook his head. "So, what do you need from us?"

"I need everyone to make sure they have iron weapons. Anything silver will help too."

"Understood."

Luca gave a quick look around. No one was looking at them. "I'll go warn the others." He gave another check around and slipped out the door.

 _This is going to be a nightmare…_ He shook his head. _That's way too literal._ How were they supposed to deal with this? The necromancer was probably a lich, one of the more dangerous types because, once summoned, had its own free will. The summoner could control the creature if they wanted to, but often the magic wielder would leave after summoning the lich and allow it to run rampant all on its own. The chaos a lich could create was usually far greater than anything a human could come up with.

Frowning, he looked to Arthur, who was impatiently tapping his fingers on his armrest. _Arthur can't get involved with this._ Arthur raised an eyebrow in his direction and he quickly looked away.

"What's wrong," Percival asked.

"Listen…" He moved Percival further away from the others. "If Uther orders Arthur into this mess, we're going to have to distract him. We can't let him try and fight a lich. He won't win."

"A lich?" Percival's face paled. "You think it's a lich?"

He nodded. And with the knights doing their best to keep Arthur preoccupied, Merlin could, completely disobeying what Arthur had just made him promise moments ago, slip away alone, and destroy the creature. It wasn't ideal, but even if he enchanted every knights' weapon and armor, it would only do so much good. Gaius might have a better idea, but for now, he would start lying the groundwork so he could sneak off when the appropriate time came, just in case.

"Are you sure it was a necromancer," Gaius asked.

"It was undead, without a doubt," North said.

"That doesn't necessarily mean it's a necromancer," Gaius said. "Perhaps you could draw it for us?"

"I could try," North said.

"I'm not much of an artist," Linwood muttered.

Gaius didn't seem to care. He pointed towards the nearest table where he laid two pieces of parchment down and handed them quills. "Draw."

The two men looked at each other, shrugged, and began their task.

"Are you sure it's a lich," Percival asked.

"Gaius doesn't want everyone in the court to know for some reason." Though Merlin could guess that it was so the people of Camelot didn't go into a panic. Or maybe he just didn't want Uther throwing one of his infamous fits that put Arthur's own to shame. _Why is the royal family here so violent?_

"Gaius and you know how to stop it, right?"

"I'm sure Gaius has something written down somewhere." Gaius seemed to have an inexhaustible amount of instructions written down in their private collections inside the tower. If not for Uther's stupid laws, they could have pulled them out already and maybe be packing for their trip to Glencier already. "We'll save Glencier. Or what's left of it…"

"What a rotten time for a necromancer to show up though, now that you and Arthur—" Merlin slapped his hand over Percival's mouth, his glare daring the knight to even continue his thought. "Shut. Up," he hissed. Percival nodded, his eyes wide. "Good." Merlin removed his hand. "Go tell the inner circle to meet in the tower after dinner."

"Alright… Merlin?"

"What?"

"Be careful." He left the room without bothering to see if he was being watched, everyone's attention focused on the drawings the two men were attempting.

 _Careful isn't going to be enough,_ he thought bitterly. He rejoined Gaius, who was looking more and more angry as the men tried to draw the necromancer they'd seen. Even with their terrible skills, Merlin could make out the signs that it was indeed a lich. The way the skin was pulled against the bones, no rotting flesh. Linwood had given the creature a weapon which narrowed the necromancer down to three types, a lich being one of them. "We have a plan, right," Merlin asked, quietly.

"If you can call it that, yes," Gaius whispered.

"… Do I need to ditch everyone before going after it?"

Gaius looked away from the drawings, frowning. "I don't want to say yes, but…"

"But no one else is going to stand a chance."

Gaius nodded before turning back to the two men. "Give me that," he snapped, grabbing the two drawings. The men looked alarmed but said nothing as Gaius studied the two drawings. "These drawings aren't going to do us much good." He turned to Uther. "Sire, if I start now, I might be able to find what is destroying their city, but judging by these drawings, it does not seem to be a necromancer. If it is, this is something we've never seen before."

Merlin stared at Gaius.

"We'll reconvene first thing tomorrow morning," Uther said. "The rest of you are under strict orders not to tell anyone about any of this or what we fear might have happened to Glencier, not until we have a proper answer, am I clear?" The people inside the room nodded. Merlin knew everyone in Camelot would know by the time dinner was served. "Good. Dismissed."

"Thank you, King Uther." Gaius bowed deeply, straightened himself, grabbed Merlin's arm, and dragged him out of the throne room before anyone around them could say a word. "Of all the things," Gaius muttered.

"Do you think if I tell Arthur no, it'll just disappear?"

"What do you mean tell him no?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"If you told Prince Arthur no, Camelot will be burning to the ground tonight, long before this thing arrives at the gate!" He jerked Merlin's arm hard.

"Ow!" He started walking faster. "Do you have a better idea? Because I'm willing to leave tonight and do what needs to be done, but I can't have Arthur following me."

Gaius stopped. "Call for a meeting tonight."

"I already did."

"Good. Have Prince Arthur join us."

"Wh, what?!" Arthur couldn't join them! That completely defeated the purpose of having a meeting with the inner circle!

"Trust me, Merlin. I have an idea."

"If you say so…"

"I'll go over the details with you now, before the others arrive."

**(X)**

Merlin placed the cake down on the table next to the apple pie. The table was covered in the other foods the knights had thrown at him for Sweet's day, all of them still fresh curtsey of yet another useful spell he'd located in the same book with the mattress spell and warming spell. With all the inner circle joining them and the rather dark subject they'd be discussing, food seemed like a necessity.

A quick knock followed by two short ones told them one of the knights had arrived. The door swung open and Gwaine and Percival entered.

"I brought alcohol," Gwaine said.

"Of course, you did," Gaius sighed. "No one get drunk until after we've fully discussed everything."

"I brought some bread," Percival said. He dropped the loaf down onto the table.

"No one needed to bring any food," Merlin muttered. It seemed they had the same idea as Merlin, though. If they were going to be talking about bad things, they might as well enjoy good food while doing so. At least they helped them without drawing any suspicion.

"I have roasted chicken," Gareth cried, entering the room. "Elizabeth's personal cook made it and I promise you won't be disappointed!" He set the platter down with a dramatic flourish. "Prince Arthur isn't here yet? How did you manage that?” He spotted Merlin, grinned, and threw his arms around him tightly. "I told you he was madly in love with you!"

"He's not—!" Merlin started, his face burning. "He's just confused!"

Gareth snorted. "No one is that confused."

"I… I promised Arthur I would tell you to stop hanging all over me so…" Though it seemed pointless now. What good would telling Gareth to stop do him?

"I knew it would have to end between us sometime," Gareth sighed. He hugged Merlin all the tighter and released him. "If he ever grows tired of you, just let me know. I'll take you back, no questions asked." He winked at him.

"I'd rather die," Arthur said, the others jumping. "I brought some apple cider." He dropped the small barrel onto the table and walked over to Merlin. "Thank you."

"F, for what?"

"For telling Gareth to stop." He gave Merlin a quick kiss on the cheek. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

Merlin nodded, his brain turning off.

"Gwen insisted I bring vegetables." Lancelot said and set the bowl down next to the other food. He seemed to notice Arthur standing there because he stopped and blinked a few times. "My Lord."

"Lancelot."

The door opened, Luca walking in. "I have dried fruit."

"How often do you all do this," Arthur asked.

"My lord, we have gatherings like this at least every two weeks to keep Merlin's sanity intact," Gareth said. He dropped a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Now that you're a part of the keep Merlin sane organization, you're free to join us."

Merlin sighed. He hated when Gareth called the inner circle that.

"So, all of you have been watching over Merlin and what?"

"My lord, you don't seem to understand just how much Merlin likes you. Every time you were entertaining a noble woman, he—"

"He doesn't need to know about any of that," Merlin shouted. He had more than enough memories to scrub from Arthur's brain, if that was even possible, without Gareth giving Arthur a rundown of Merlin's life and feelings. _If I find that spell, I'm wiping Gareth's memories too._ Actually, he'd have to wipe everyone's memories, but Gaius's if he found such a spell. Just the thought of that had him sitting down at the table. Maybe it would be a potion, though he doubted it, and he could just add it to the water supply. _What am I even worried about? That was an issue to worry about this morning, not now._

"Merlin?" Arthur sat next to him.

"I'm fine… I just can't believe this is happening."

"We'll take care of the necromancer in Glencier. It can't be that difficult, right?"

"My lord… we're actually dealing with a lich," Gaius said. "Merlin and I knew from the start, but we didn't want to alarm anyone, in case we were wrong."

Arthur frowned. "How do we kill a lich?"

"With iron and silver weapons," Merlin said, fast. They would be charmed weapons, but the less Arthur knew, the better. "The problem is finding its weak point. There's a good chance that whoever summoned the lich is the one with its anchor."

"How do we find the sorcerer," Arthur asked.

"That's the problem, we have no idea where the sorcerer is or how to find them. They probably summoned the lich and ran."

"We can't just ignore a lich running through Camelot!"

"We're not," Gaius said. "The lich will need to be dismembered, and the parts kept separated until we can locate the sorcerer."

"We can do that, right?" Arthur looked at one knight to the other. They nodded, probably more for Merlin's sake than Arthur's. "How far apart do the pieces need to be kept?"

"It would probably be best to bury them in separate cities," Merlin said.

"If we each take a piece, it will take some time, but we can do that," Arthur said.

"That's assuming your father allows you to take part in this," Lancelot said. "The last time an undead creature was involved, he refused to let you battle it."

"But he had no problem sending Arthur to his death to kill a creature that was impossible to kill without magic," Gwaine snorted.

"Who else would he possibly send? Someone has to lead the knights," Arthur protested.

"There have been a few times King Uther has ordered me to fulfill missions without you, my lord," Gareth said.

Those missions were often ones Gaius assured Uther that Gareth and a few knights were more than enough and sending Arthur would be an insult to his position, while in reality Merlin had been sneaking out with the group and helping destroy whatever creature or sorcerer was causing problems. Most of them were thankfully within a few hours riding distance from Camelot, and so Merlin was "in the tavern" as Gaius so nicely put it when Arthur came looking for him. Merlin didn't think they could get away with that excuse this time.

"I'm not abandoning the people of Glencier," Arthur said. "None of us are."

"No, we aren't," Gareth agreed.

 _We're just abandoning you,_ Merlin thought wearily. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

**(TBC)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the holidays in general, but I hate how busy it makes my job. I also understand but hate how holidays and more hoarding bring about so many issues. u.u time to go back into hiding in the stories. Ugh. How can my job expect me to write (okay they don’t give a ---- ) when they have my scheduled to work eight days straight? I mean come on…  
> Update: I was sent home due to a high fever and sick symptoms. Surprise, surprise. I’m not really sure what they expected.  
> It also doesn’t help that I became the emergency owner of two fish, a neon tetra and a neon danio. And well, I didn’t have a fish tank set up beforehand. Needless to say, things have been rather hectic trying to get everything together and keep these fish alive. If no one is aware, it takes about a month to establish a tank and I had like… 2 hours.  
> Warnings: This is shounen-ai, slash, gay, whatever. Arthur/Merlin Merlin/Arthur  
> Notes: (X) Is pov change and or time jump  
> Notes 2: I apologize if this has typos and weird dialog or anything. I’ll do a more thorough check later, probably when I do edits for multiple chapters.  
> Notes 3: It's nearly Thanksgiving so I wanted to express how thankful I am to everyone who takes the time to read and or review this story. It's always a delight when I see a review in my inbox. So thank you so much for the continued happiness you all bring me by continuing to read this crazy story.

I love the holidays in general, but I hate how busy it makes my job. I also understand but hate how holidays and more hoarding bring about so many issues. u.u time to go back into hiding in the stories. Ugh. How can my job expect me to write (okay they don't give a - ) when they have my scheduled to work eight days straight? I mean come on…

Update: I was sent home due to a high fever and sick symptoms. Surprise, surprise. I'm not really sure what they expected.

It also doesn't help that I became the emergency owner of two fish, a neon tetra and a neon danio. And well, I didn't have a fish tank set up beforehand. Needless to say, things have been rather hectic trying to get everything together and keep these fish alive. If no one is aware, it takes about a month to establish a tank and I had like… 2 hours.

Warnings: This is shounen-ai, slash, gay, whatever. Arthur/Merlin Merlin/Arthur

Notes: (X) Is pov change and or time jump

Notes 2: I apologize if this has typos and weird dialog or anything. I'll do a more thorough check later, probably when I do edits for multiple chapters.

Notes 3: And because it's so close to Thanksgiving I want to once again thank everyone who's taking the time out to read this story and also when you review. I love it when I get a review, no matter how short, but seeing how popular the story is with traffic views is great too. So thank you everyone, I really appreciate you sticking around for this crazy story.

Chapter, 12

"Good." Arthur looked more determined than ever, and it killed Merlin that he would never get to use that determination to save Glencier. It was one thing to let Arthur think they had a real chance at a relationship until Merlin could wipe his memory or pawn him off on some lucky woman, another to send him into a brawl with a necromancer that couldn't die without meeting certain conditions. And you couldn't just send the once and future king, whatever that meant, because Merlin had yet to figure that out, into a fight with an undead creature or the sorcerer that'd summoned it and expect him to come out just fine. Not when this entire mess could be a trap to lure Arthur out of the city of Camelot, so said sorcerer or undead creature could kill him.

He'd hoped to spend a little more of his time with Arthur before having to wipe his memories, though. It wasn't fair that Arthur had just declared his love for him, and he already had to ditch him, but the alternative wasn't acceptable. Now Gaius would have to take charge of possibly having to wipe Arthur's memories because the more Merlin thought about the insane plan they were trying to pull off, the more he was almost positive he wasn't coming back. At least not completely. He shuddered just thinking about it.

An arm wrapped around his waist, and he looked up.

"We will destroy the necromancer. We'll cut the thing into a million pieces if need be," Arthur said, confidently.

Merlin nodded, trying to give his most convincing relieved look. Not the easiest feat, not when he knew he was going to be the one chasing after a lich, by himself, praying the summoner was nearby, which he doubted. _I wonder how long I'll be gone._ Would Gaius be able to keep everyone away while he attempted not to die? Gaius was good at misdirecting everyone for a few days, a week at most. Merlin would get a head start, but anyone following him would catch up soon enough, long before he could find the sorcerer and destroy the necromancer. Worse, whoever chased after him would know exactly where to find him, because it wasn't like Gaius could lie and tell Arthur to check all the taverns in Camelot first to give him some extra time.

"So, what's the plan," Gareth asked.

"We gather all the equipment and anything else we're going to need tonight and leave first thing in the morning," Arthur said in his leader voice.

"Gaius and I will make a list," Merlin said.

"You mentioned silver and iron weapons," Percival said.

"Yes, and it wouldn't hurt to have some blessed salt. Gaius, do we still have dill," Merlin asked.

"Plenty."

"Guess we'll start there." He tried to move out of Arthur's grip when the prince pulled him onto his lap. "Arthur!"

"I told you I'm not hiding our relationship."

That was hardly the problem. Well, it was, but not while he was in the tower surrounded by the people he trusted most. _Which secret will get me killed faster? Dating Arthur or being a warlock? FOCUS!_ He took a breath. Okay. Now was not the time to panic. He would have plenty of time for that when he walked into Glencier alone and saw the army of undead ransacking whatever was left of the city. _Ugh._ He dropped his head onto Arthur's shoulder _. I'm going to have my skin ripped off and get eaten and you'll never even be able to find my body!_

Arthur jumped at the sudden addition of Merlin's head on his shoulder, his grip tightening around him.

The gathered knights looked from one another, each one frowning. Merlin didn't care if they approved of the show of affection or not. He was only getting one day. One day! One stupid single day to be with the person he'd been pining over for the last two years. It was more than what plenty of others got, but he still felt cheated. He deserved one final happy day before he walked off to his death, and Gaius had no choice but to remove all of Arthur's memories about him.

"My Lord," Gareth started. "Do you really think it wise to be so open? It's fine around us, but should King Uther find out…"

Merlin would have hugged Gareth if he wasn't being held hostage by Arthur, not that he was trying to escape. At least _someone_ understood that the only heir to the throne should not be screaming his feelings across the world, not when that person was another male. Not until Uther had moved on to the world of the dead and to be truly safe. They should probably wait a few years after that.

Not that Uther had to worry too much. If he wasn't so against magic, Merlin would have accused the king of setting this whole thing up just to make sure Merlin died without Arthur being able to blame him. He knew the truth, though. Fate had done this because it had to clean up its mess before anyone noticed what it had allowed to happen.

 _Well, if I'm going to die, anyway._ He wrapped his arms around Arthur.

"M, Merlin!?" Arthur didn't seem to know how to react to his sudden attack.

"I'm just enjoying myself for a moment," he muttered.

"F, fine…"

"My lord, think of Merlin's safety," Gwaine said, his voice weak.

"I will not live in fear."

"This has nothing to do with fear," Gwaine said.

"We are knights of Camelot, which includes protecting Merlin," Gareth went on. "Letting your father know you're in love with him will result in Merlin's arrest, minimal."

_Getting arrested now might keep me alive a few extra days._

"Let him try," Arthur said, his voice growing dark. Everyone in the room, but Arthur shivered. "My father does not get the final say in who I marry."

Luca started hitting his chest, choking on a piece of cake, the other knights staring again.

"You've been together for less than twenty-four hours and you're already considering marriage," Gwaine shouted.

"See what I've been dealing with," Merlin said.

The amusement always hiding in Gareth's eyes vanished. "Prince Arthur, King Uther will have Merlin executed if he finds out."

"I will—"

"You cannot watch Merlin every second of the day! If that were possible, Merlin would never have gotten into any of the situations he's previously gotten into because we would have been able to keep him safe!"

"Merlin is not just my boyfriend, he's also my servant. I can keep him with me at all times—"

"You lose him on a regular basis just like the rest of us," Gareth growled.

Merlin snickered at the choice of words. The knights and Arthur did not lose him, okay, maybe once or twice during walks through the market, but most of the time he was purposely ditching them. It was always for a good reason, though. To stop a raging lunatic sorcerer or to send a magical creature somewhere it would be safe and not cause harm. To speak with a druid. ... Okay, _sometimes_ he ditched everyone so he could be alone, but that was just as important as saving Arthur's sorry arse.

"This is hardly the time for this conversation! We need to help the people of Glencier first," Arthur shouted. "We can worry about my father and losing Merlin after that!"

"Fine, until then—"

"I am the prince," Arthur said, the warning in his voice clear. "You do not give me orders… and If people don't know that I've taken Merlin as my partner, the rest of Camelot, you included, will try and take him from me!"

Gareth looked shocked. "Merlin's like a little brother to all of us, or a pet," he yelled back. "No one wants to sleep with him, we just think he's cute and needs protection!"

 _I could have lived happily without hearing that._ Though he'd known that was how the knights and plenty of others felt about him, anyway. It was one of the reasons it'd been so hard to look for someone else to redirect his feelings onto. Not that he was really capable of having a completely honest relationship with anyone besides the knights here or the druids _. I should just have just told Arthur no._ What difference did it make when they were going to have to wipe his memories in the end anyway so he didn't go into a state of shock that eventually led to into a frenzy thus getting Camelot leveled because the necromancer ate him? If they could find the proper spell. But really, what were the chances there wasn't one? The real question was, would Gaius find it quickly enough and more importantly, could his uncle carry out the spell properly?

Merlin tried to shove such an idea away, but it was too late. He really was selfish and wanted to remain Arthur's boyfriend despite the risks.

"If you think I'm stupid enough to believe that, you deserve a night in the dungeon," Arthur snapped. Merlin felt himself blushing as Arthur held him closer. "Merlin will be with _me_ when we leave for Glencier. My father won't be able to get anywhere near him." He seemed to consider something and looked to Gaius. "… maybe help us think of a way to break it to him easily…"

"I'm not sure telling your father his only heir is in love with another man can be explained gently, my Lord. Especially when that other male is Merlin."

Arthur sighed. "I'll think of something."

"… We will stand beside you to keep Merlin safe," Gareth conceded. "But putting him in unnecessary danger," he shook his head. "Merlin will keep his word. He will not cheat on you."

"I'm not worried about Merlin. I'm worried about the rest of the world."

 _Probably a good idea._ Considering how many people would try to kill him if his secret ever got out. Explaining that to Arthur would only result in a quicker death though, and he really couldn't die now until he dealt with the lich.

Gareth nodded. "Okay then… Merlin, what should we do first?"

"Eat before any of the food goes bad. Gaius and I can start putting the herbs we need in some sacks."

"You need to eat too," Arthur said.

"I had some cake," Merlin said, motioning to the dessert. He'd taken a piece before everyone else had arrived.

"Real food, Merlin."

"I had dinner with Gaius," he protested.

Arthur looked to Gaius, who nodded. "Fine." He released Merlin, the warlock removing himself from Arthur's lap before he changed his mind.

While the knights ate, Merlin and Gaius set to work gathering the herbs and blessed salt.

"What time should we leave," Luca asked.

"Sunrise," Arthur said, immediately. "I'd honestly prefer we leave sooner, but it would be foolish to run in unprepared. Everyone has winter clothing?"

"Merlin was the last one to hold out," Gareth said. Merlin looked up from the worktable and glared at him, the knight smirking.

"Glencier is as far north as we can go. They'll have had snow already. Everyone should pack accordingly for that," Arthur said.

"Extra blankets, dry firewood," Percival said.

"Something to block the wind so the fire won't go out," Lancelot added.

"I will ask how bad the weather was when the two men left. We may have to leave the horses in Lamate," Arthur muttered.

Merlin looked up from the small sacks Gaius and he was filling. "It's going to be that cold?" He'd known Glencier was at the most Northern part of Camelot, but snow already? It couldn't wait for the winter season to actually hit before it started dumping white fluff onto everything? Snow before the Winter solstice was against the rules! Now he not only needed to track down a lich and the sorcerer who'd summoned it, he had to do it in the snow. When would the injustices in his life end?

"I'll keep you warm, Merlin," Arthur said, his eyes dancing.

Merlin sighed. Not any time soon, it seemed.

"It's getting late," Luca said. "I'll go gather some firewood."

"We'll need shovels," Percival said, standing up.

"I'll go pack rations of dried foods," Gwaine said.

Gareth stood up. "I'll gather up some odds and ends that we'll need."

"I'll make sure the horses are prepared," Lancelot said.

"Everyone, bring up your weapons, armor, and anything made of steel and silver so Gaius and Merlin can rub the herb mixture on them," Arthur reminded them.

The knights agreed, each one saying their goodbyes as they left. Arthur joined Merlin at the worktable. "Want to come with me to get my armor?"

"I should stay with Gaius and help him with the mixture."

"Okay." He leaned forward and kissed Merlin on the cheek. "I'll be back shortly."

"O, okay." He nearly dropped the sage he was holding, his face burning horribly.

Arthur looked particularly proud of himself and left.

**(X)**

Arthur stepped out of the room and closed the door just enough to make it look shut. He leaned against the wall to the left of the door, Gareth on the right.

"How long will it take," Merlin asked.

"As soon as they fall asleep, it will begin working."

Arthur raised an eyebrow, Gareth shaking his head. He motioned to the steps and started down them, Arthur following.

"I knew they were up to something," Gareth muttered. "Merlin had that look in his eye."

"And after he promised me." He tightened his hands into fists as his anger washed over him. How could Merlin lie to him like that? They were a couple and couples weren't supposed to lie to each other! Or drug their partner's food for that matter. And the drugging wasn't even the first offense! His breakfast had contained a love potion antidote, his dessert a sleeping mixture. He was never going to be able to trust Merlin or Gaius with anything consumable again. Which was a shame. Gaius made really good soup.

Gareth glanced at Arthur. "You realize he did it to protect you, right?"

Arthur snorted. "And what exactly is Merlin going to do to 'protect me' from a lich?"

Gareth stopped. "... How serious are you about Merlin?"

Arthur glared at him. He'd known Gareth had wanted Merlin for himself deep down. "I intend to stay with him the rest of my life, so you can give up any thoughts on taking him from me."

"No matter what?"

"Yes."

"Even if his very existence breaks the law?"

"Merlin's existence doesn't break any laws."

Gareth frowned, his eyes no longer meeting Arthur's. "... There are things you aren't aware of my Lord." He held his hand up, Arthur stopping so he could finish. "If Merlin were thrown into the dungeon, he would never make it out alive."

Had Gareth gone mad? "Merlin's been thrown in the dungeon plenty of times," Arthur protested. Why would he suddenly die from being thrown into them now?

"The knights will keep him safe, but you must protect him, my Lord. Merlin needs you, even if he won't admit it."

Of course, Merlin needed him. That's exactly what he'd wanted. Otherwise his boyfriend might find someone else, not that anyone could ever possibly be better than him but that Lucien guy could read and for some stupid reason Merlin seemed to like that.

"I will be blunt. The only person you need to worry about trying to steal Merlin away is Lucien. He's the only one you'll need to order to stand down, but I don't think Merlin ever intended to date him."

"Merlin told me as much last night." Their pleasant time spent gathering herbs seemed like such a long time ago. Merlin had let go of all his usual shields and had spoken openly with him.

"Merlin, has certain… requirements for someone to match his tastes. You check all the boxes, but two."

 _What!?_ Arthur stared at Gareth. What could he possibly be missing from Merlin's 'requirements'? He was hot, smart, and the prince of Camelot! What else could he want? "What two!?" Was it the reading!? _I'll have to read more._ As much as he didn't want to, if it kept Merlin interested…. _Merlin owes me._

"The knights have sworn an oath of secrecy. You'll have to ask him yourself."

"I'm—"

"Even if you order us, we won't break our promise. It's for Merlin's safety… Give him time. He will tell you. You're all he's wanted since he's arrived in Camelot. I'm only warning you because Lucien is the competitive type. I'd be weary of him."

 _That's fine. I'm the most competitive person in Camelot. Let Lucien try and take Merlin from me._ If Lucien tried anything, he'd have him exiled. Well, if Merlin let him. The last thing he wanted to do was anger Merlin by exiling Lucien. He might never speak to Arthur again. _Merlin will get over it._

"The knights are on your side, Prince Arthur. We all want what's best for Merlin and we all know that that's you."

The words took a moment to sink in. Gareth was actually on his side? He wanted Merlin and him to be together?

"We've been trying to convince him for the last year to just tell you. Lady Morgana has as well. Belden within the last few days. The castle staff supports you. The only one who's going to have a problem is King Uther."

"Why did no one tell me," he asked quietly. Despite that Arthur and Merlin had spent the last two years together, he felt like he'd missed out. They could be married already!

"Because you're the prince. The only prince. And Merlin begged us not to, and we owe him a lot."

"So I've been told." But it would have saved both of them a great deal of grief if Merlin had just come out and said something. But… Would he have listened and accepted Merlin's feelings two years ago? Even one year ago? He wanted to think he would have, but he wasn't sure. And what would have happened if he'd turned Merlin down? Merlin might have left immediately after, or his refusal might have crushed any feelings he might have had. He might have driven Merlin into Lucien's arms! Or anyone else's for that matter _! I could have lost him…_ The thought alone sent a shiver down his spine and made him sick to his stomach. "Do you really think I should keep this from my father?"

"I do," Gareth said, without hesitation. "King Uther would love to find any excuse to be rid of Merlin."

Arthur nodded. He knew his father wasn't fond of Merlin, but he hadn't realized how deep that distaste went. If that was the situation he would have to accept it and trust Merlin. Hopefully Merlin was more trustworthy when it came to courting than he was with drugging food. "Fine. I will be more careful." He didn't want to. He wanted everyone in the kingdom to know Merlin was his partner and for them to stay away. But Gareth wasn't wrong. If his father despised Merlin, as he claimed, then he would be dangerous to his relationship.

Gareth looked relieved. "My lord… thank you."

"Just go see if Lancelot needs any help getting the horses ready."

Gareth grinned at him and left down the right side of the hall leading to the stables. _Huh…_ Gareth had never followed his orders so smoothly. Usually he had to give some kind of snide remark, a protest, something. Had all of his back talking been his way of supporting Merlin? Just what had Merlin done for the knights to make them so loyal to him? Well, maybe they'd all get along better now that Merlin and him were together and happy.

(X)

The knights and Arthur returned shortly after to Gaius's tower, bringing with them any silver or iron items they intended to bring with them to Glencier. Gaius and Merlin assured them their items would be safe and ready by morning, and so they'd left to get some sleep.

Well, everyone but Arthur had left to get some sleep.

"Are you sure you used enough," Merlin asked, quietly.

"Yes," Gaius said.

Given how bright eyed Arthur looked, Merlin wasn't sure he trusted Gaius about that. The prince had grabbed a book off the public shelf, one on medicinal herbs, and had been consistently growling at it for the last twenty minutes or so. If Merlin didn't know any better, he'd have thought they were in a staring contest. "Arthur, you should go to bed. Gaius and I will finish here," Merlin attempted.

Arthur's eyes jumped to him, he looked relieved to have a distraction from the book. "You know I haven't been able to sleep lately unless you're by my side." He made it sound absolutely normal and like that claim was no big deal.

"We're dating now, you've practically declared me your fiancé already. How could you possibly be scared I'm leaving now?" Granted, that was exactly what he was attempting to do. Perhaps Arthur's instincts were warning him.

"Because you have a tendency to just disappear," Arthur said, throwing his hands up in frustration. The book flew onto the floor. Not that Arthur seemed to care. "You… YOU!"

Merlin sighed. "Stop coming in here to throw books!" He walked over to where the poor book had landed and set it onto the table. Arthur's hand immediately wrapped around his wrist. "It wouldn't be right to make Gaius do all of this alone." He motioned to the swords, shields, and armor set out across the room. "Not if we want to leave in the morning."

Arthur glanced from one item to the next before letting out a long sigh. "Alright. If it can't be helped." He released Merlin's wrist and got up, moving towards one of the bowls filled with green liquid and a towel.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping," Arthur said. "The faster we get this done, the faster we can both get some sleep."

Merlin rolled his eyes, grabbed another towel, and dipped it into Arthur's bowl. With Gaius's help, the three of them began rubbing the liquid into the steel and silver items.

It killed Merlin that they were wasting so much time to act like things were going as planned. With any luck at all, none of the knights, nor Arthur, would ever need to use these items to fight a lich, this one or any other that may appear in Camelot. A shame he couldn't tell Arthur that, so he'd leave and Merlin could sneak out. Alas, the charade had to go on.

"We need more water. Go fetch some Merlin."

"Alright." He stood up and grabbed one of the empty bowls Gaius had on the table.

"I'll go with," Arthur said, moving to his feet so fast, the armor he'd been working on crashed onto the floor. The three of them stared at it a moment, as if waiting for it to get up by itself.

"Go," Gaius shouted, pointing at the door. The two of them darted out, snickering. "You're a horrible influence, Merlin," he called after them.

_Yes, because I showed Arthur how to be clumsy._

"You don't have to come with."

"And risk losing you?" He snorted, moving closer to Merlin. "I would never forgive myself if I didn't go with you and you never came back."

"Well, maybe stop shouting out our relationship to everyone so your father doesn't find out?" If Arthur continued to do so, Merlin really wouldn’t be coming back.

Arthur stopped, and for some reason, Merlin found himself doing the same. "I swear to you, I will never let my father harm you… but… Gareth has convinced me to stop telling everyone so my father doesn't find out."

"Th, thank you." Arthur hadn't even realized the servant bootcamp he'd been enduring. How could he keep him safe from Uther? And he really didn't want to cause any more of a rift between Arthur and his father. Uther was the only family Arthur had left. But there wasn't much to worry about. After today, it was highly unlikely Arthur would have to protect him from his father.

"Merlin, I need you to trust me." He grabbed Merlin's forearm. "You cannot carry on like you alone are enough to face the world. You shouldn't have to and let's face it, you aren't capable of it."

 _You idiot. You've no idea._ Merlin gave a quick look around. Satisfied no one was watching, he wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck. "Any world facing I do is to keep you safe."

"There's no point in saving me unless you remain at my side." He leaned forward to kiss Merlin, stopping short as Merlin released him, laughing. "What's so funny!?"

"Did you memorize all of these corny lines from some awful book?" Not even Gareth dared to utter such cliched words! They sounded like horrible dialog from a fairytale. "Did no one ever tell you that real princes don't talk like the ones in storybooks?"

Arthur's face started turning red. "I'm telling you how I feel!"

Merlin kissed him on the cheek, grinning. "I know. My life means absolutely nothing without you in it."

"So just say that next time and skip the laughing part!"

"Where's the fun in that?"

Scowling, Arthur kissed him again. They caught each other's gazes, both of them blushing before Arthur couldn't take anymore and looked away.

(X)

"How is he still awake," Merlin demanded in a whisper. They'd retrieved the water hours ago and despite the spiked food, Arthur was still helping rub the mixture on the armors and weapons, humming some random tune as he worked.

"By sheer stubbornness," Gaius said.

Merlin scowled. "Then he'll never go to sleep again."

"Just go lie down with him."

"He'll never let me go."

"We can deal with that after he's asleep."

Merlin glared at his uncle. "Fine." He let out a loud yawn, Arthur looking up from the armor he'd been rubbing the liquid into. "Gaius, will you be alright finishing up? I'm tired enough to puke."

"Don't you dare," Gaius warned him.

"The last thing I need you to do is collapse while we're fighting a necromancer," Arthur said, climbing to his feet. "Come on. You can go lie down and I'll help Gaius finish."

"But…" He pouted, trying to give his best sad puppy eyed look. "I'm not sure I can sleep without you next to me now." _I can't believe I just said that._

Arthur's face turned bright red. "R, right! I'll um, I suppose I've no choice, but to stay with until you fall asleep then." He looked to Gaius quickly. "You don't mind, do you?"

_Ha! And Gaius says my acting skills are horrible._

"Of course not, my Lord."

"Come on." He grabbed Merlin's hand and together they started up the steps to Merlin's room. "Either you're going to need a bigger bed—"

"I don't think a bigger one will fit in there—"

"Or you're just going to have to get over it and join me in mine."

 _Yes, because no one will question that,_ Merlin thought, rolling his eyes. It was one thing for Merlin to stay with Arthur when he wasn't feeling well, though even then, he'd often stayed just outside Arthur's room, lounging in the hall or on the steps rather than risk staying inside the prince's room all night. And it was a risk because Merlin had found out early on he was not to be trusted to share a room all night with Arthur. It often led to pining, dark thoughts, and on rare occasions, a stolen kiss. _This might be the last time I see him though…_

"I love you, Arthur."

Arthur turned to Merlin, freezing, his face turning a darker shade of red. "I… I love you too."

"... If something happens while we're fighting the lich…"

"Nothing will happen. We will defeat it, together."

 _Easy for you to say._ Though that had been the narrative Gaius and he had been trying to convince everyone of the last few hours. The reality of what was going to happen wasn't that nice.

"Good thing I left the blanket in here."

"It's not cold." Merlin removed his boots and placed them on the other side of the bedside table, Arthur doing the same.

"No, but it's comfortable." He climbed into the bed, Merlin lying down next to him. Arthur's arms went around him immediately. "I still can't believe we're together."

"Me either "

"... You're happy that we are though, right?"

"Of course I am. I mean, we have a lot of challenges to overcome, but we'll manage. We usually do."

"Good… I'm sorry I didn't realize my feelings for you sooner."

"I'm surprised you realized at all." Merlin had been so sure just a few days ago even that Arthur would never even consider dating him. That there wasn't a single possibility that he cared for Merlin. What would he have done if he'd found a druid or Lucien hadn't gone on that inventory run? He could very well be lying next to Lucien right now instead of Arthur, the two of them saying goodbye.

I _don't want to say goodbye._ He sat up, Arthur looking at him questioningly. "No matter what stupid things I do, no matter how mad I make you, I really do love you! I—"

Arthur put his hand over Merlin's mouth. "Merlin, look at me."

"I am," he said, though it didn't come out clearly because Arthur hadn't removed his hand.

"This is _not_ goodbye. We will survive this, both of us and all the knights as well. Okay?" Merlin nodded. "Good." He removed his hand and kissed Merlin, deeply.

(X)

"Merlin, get up," Gaius whispered harshly.

"No," he whined, clinging to Arthur's arm. It was too soon. He needed another hour or a lifetime in bed with Arthur before getting up.

"Don't even think about going back to sleep!" He whacked Merlin aside the head.

"OW!" He brought his hand up to rub the whacked spot, glaring at Gaius. "You're going to wake Arthur up!"

Gaius snorted. "A horse could sit on him right now and he wouldn't know it."

Merlin stared before shaking his head. "I've been thinking and… I can't…" What was more selfish? Running off without Arthur and possibly getting himself killed or going with him, lowering Arthur's chances of survival, but raising his own? Earlier he'd believed it was the latter, but Arthur had made a good point. He hadn't done well when Merlin had been on leave for three days. Would he be able to survive if Merlin completely vanished from his life, and possibly for good?

"Merlin, there's no time for you…" He frowned when Merlin looked at him. "You're having second thoughts."

"If I run off without him or die, he'll never forgive me."

"Putting Prince Arthur's life at risk is far worse than him getting angry with you." Merlin noticed Gaius's look had softened with his voice.

"I know that, but…" He looked at Arthur again and shook his head. "I promised him."

"Merlin, I did not just drug the prince and all the inner knights so you could go back on the plan. The lich will have started for the next town by the time any of them have enough sense about them to stand up."

Merlin gaped at him "How strong did you make that sleeping tonic!?"

"Strong enough," Gaius admitted.

Sighing, Merlin stood up. There was no way he could risk so many lives any more than he could risk Arthur's. "I do love him."

"I know, and so does Prince Arthur."

"... You'll watch over him, right?"

"As I always have."

"You'll make sure he eats?"

"Of course—"

"And gets plenty of rest? And doesn't burn down Camelot—"

"MERLIN!"

Merlin winced, his eyes darting to Arthur. The prince was still fast asleep.

"Just leave already so you can return home quickly and preferably safe."

Merlin nodded. "I will. And if I don't and Arthur can't handle it…"

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"Just... maybe don't do it unless he's trying to burn Camelot down."

"The faster you get going, the less we'll have to worry about Prince Arthur. Now go!"

"I'm going!" He left the room, Gaius following close behind him. Sitting on the table was the large pack they'd prepared before the get together. Herbs, salves, food, silver, iron, holy water, blessed salt, and a few hastily written spells. A bedroll, two changes of clothes just in case, and some water skins. He picked it up and slid the straps over his shoulders. "Alright."

"Be careful and don't screw this up."

"I won't."

(X)

Arthur waited in the bed, his face burning horribly. He wanted to chase after his idiot immediately, but Gareth had warned him to give Merlin a good twenty-minute start. Which he was perfectly fine with now because it would probably take that long for his face to return to its proper color.

 _And yet he accused me of being corny earlier._ He started snickering. Merlin was just as much in love with him as he was him. To think that Merlin was willingly running off to fight a lich to keep him safe. Stupid beyond belief, but very touching all the same.

Merlin had forgotten one very important thing, though. Arthur was the sword in this relationship and God knows Merlin couldn't fight to save his own life, let alone to save Arthur's.

"..." The reality of that sank in. "Twenty minutes is too long." He climbed off the bed and grabbed his boots.

**(TBC)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept debating over and over the second part of the chapter. There was no justification for dragging it out, though. Which isn’t bad, it just felt like it was rushed… It’s a no-win situation. I hope this works and I guess if it doesn’t, I’ll end up having to rewrite it eventually… 
> 
> Warnings: It’s shounen-ai. Slash, gay. Murther, Merlin/Arthur Arthur/ Merlin. Etc.  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

I kept debating over and over the second part of the chapter. There was no justification for dragging it out, though. Which isn't bad, it just felt like it was rushed… It's a no-win situation. I hope this works and I guess if it doesn't, I'll end up having to rewrite it eventually…

Warnings: It's shounen-ai. Slash, gay. Murther, Merlin/Arthur Arthur/ Merlin. Etc.

Notes: **(X)** is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 13

Arthur stuck his head out of Merlin's room, watching Gaius and his idiot move towards the tower's exit.

Merlin stopped in the doorway. "Can't you mix a waking draught?"

"For the! Come on!" Gaius opened the door and shoved Merlin out.

"Watch it!"

Gaius followed, slamming the door shut behind him.

Narrowing his eyes, Arthur counted to ten before stepping out of the room, not only to make sure Merlin and Gaius didn't come back, but so he didn't shove Gaius down the stairs in revenge if the physician showed his face in the next few seconds. _There's no time and Gaius didn't hurt him_ , he reminded himself. And both Gaius and him had done much worse to Merlin plenty of times before. Seeing how much Merlin didn't want to go by himself though, how much he wanted to keep his promise to him, made Arthur want to call out to him and tell him everything would be okay. On the other hand, the idiot had agreed to the plan in the first place and hadn't even tried to warn Arthur about it. If Gareth hadn't realized what was going on, he and the knights would be in their beds in near coma like states and Merlin really would be riding off to his death alone.

 _Merlin is not going to die_.

All the armor and weapons remained scattered around and on the table, Gaius's worktable, and some were just laid against the wall. What were the chances Gaius had added the herb mixture to everyone else's armor and weapons after Merlin and he had gone to bed? Thankfully, he'd tended to his own items. He couldn't just grab his stuff and run, risking all the other knights' safety though. It was his responsibility to make sure they remained safe. And, though he wouldn't verbally admit it. He needed them, or at least Gareth, to help him understand Merlin's crazy ways and track the suicidal servant down.

Descending the stairs, he gave a quick look around Gaius's worktable. _Gaius was tired, he wouldn't have bothered cleaning up…_ A glint from Luca's breastplate caught his attention. He lifted the armor up, smiling despite himself. "Really, Gaius?" The physician must have been a lot more tired than he'd thought. Gaius had poured the herb mixture into four vials, corked them, and left them sitting out for anyone to find. "I need a bag."

Luckily, he'd spent a great deal of time in Gaius's tower in the last year. Something he could have never claimed before Merlin had crashed into his life. Before Merlin, and what a lonely time that had been, he realized, he would only visit Gaius if he felt ill or needed counsel. During those times he'd come in, get what he needed or talk without really paying attention to what Gaius was doing, and leave just as quickly. Now that he was a regular though…

He knelt next to one of the extra cots leaning against the wall, smirking as he pulled out the stash of empty bags the physician kept stored behind it. He understood Gaius and his methods far too well now. Except for the food drugging and he would most definitely have a talk to Gaius about that one _. And Merlin._ People weren't supposed to go along with their uncle's plans to drug their boyfriend. Well, decent people anyway. At least he knew to never accept anything from either of them anymore.

 _Who am I trying to fool?_ He knew if Merlin handed him anything to consume, he'd take it gladly, trusting the fool without a second thought. Just how blindly in love was he? And he couldn't blame any of this on a love potion or spell. Merlin had gone out of his way to make sure he'd taken an antidote for that.

Taking one bag, he discarded the others onto the table, and began placing the vials into it one by one. He did a double take to make sure he had them all and pulled the drawstring tight, shutting the items inside.

The door creaked open.

Arthur turned, eyes narrowed and ready to silence Gaius, not to mention yell at him for encouraging Merlin to run off, when Gareth and Lancelot stepped in.

"My lord," Gareth greeted.

Arthur couldn't hide his disappointment. "I have the mixture that repels the undead." He lifted the bag up. "I tended to my own last night. Those are finished," he motioned to the armor and weapons to the right. "I have no idea if Gaius finished the others."

Gareth didn't seem worried. "Merlin will know what to do. Luca and Gwaine are in the stables waiting for us."

"Percival is watching the gate, so we know exactly how far ahead Merlin's gotten from us," Lancelot added.

Arthur shook his head. All of this was becoming a little worrying. "How many times have you had to do this?"

Gareth smirked. "Plenty enough to know how to do this right. As long as he doesn't realize he's being followed right away, we can meet up with him in about an hour. By then he'll be fed up with being alone."

 _An hour?_ That seemed far too long to leave Merlin on his own, even if they were only trailing behind him by tens minutes or so. There was no telling how much trouble his idiot could get into in ten minutes. With the way Merlin worked, he could get a war started in that time! "... Merlin didn't want to go through with this. He wanted to wait for us to wake up."

Lancelot raised an eyebrow. "Did he?"

"Interesting." Gareth was quiet a moment before nodding. "I suppose we can catch up with him sooner."

 _Good._ They worked fast, gathering up all the items and bags that Gaius and Merlin had gotten together the day before. Arthur did another quick look to make sure they hadn't left anything. Chances were Merlin's pack had everything they'd need to defeat the lich anyway, but he didn't want to risk leaving something important behind. "Come on."

They stepped out of the tower.

"Arthur."

 _I know we're closer but come on._ The sudden lack of formality made him slightly uneasy. He was dating Merlin, not them.

"Arthur."

"I don't remember giving anyone permission besides Merlin to not use a title when speaking to me." And he hadn't actually given Merlin permission either, not originally anyway. Merlin had never used it and for some reason, well he knew now, he'd never forced or really even expected Merlin to use it, even when he'd acted annoyed about Merlin's lack of use of one. The few times Merlin had attached a title to his name, he'd hated it. It had always sounded wrong, like his boyfriend had purposely been trying to push him away and put up walls, which was exactly what he'd been doing not too long ago.

"My lord, we haven't said a word," Gareth said, sounding uneasy. "You didn't accidentally eat any of that cake, did you?"

"No, you told me not to."

"Arthur!"

He stopped, the two knights having no choice but to do so as well. _Damnit._ "Go after Merlin! I'll join you as soon as I can." He started down the stairs quickly, which wasn't very fast since he was holding his armor, his and Percival's weapons, and also had a large bag on his back.

"My lord," Gareth shouted.

"It's fine! Just go keep an eye on him! I won't be long!"

**(X)**

Merlin went down a mental list of everything in his packs one more time. He didn't want to sneak out and have to sneak back in to get something he'd forgotten. With his luck, he'd run into Huon or Uther if he did. And while there was no rule enforcing any kind of curfew on the servants, they would only be too happy to use it as an excuse to shove Merlin into the dungeon. Especially if either of them had heard the rumors about Arthur and him dating. Which he was pretty sure the entire city knew about already.

 _Too bad. The lich will kill me before either of you can,_ he mentally taunted. He wasn't sure which of the three could deal out the worst death, but he had a feeling the lich might be the most quick and merciful. What were the chances the lich would hold a grudge against him for dating Arthur, even if fate had brought the creature forth as punishment for that very reason?

_I wish Arthur was with me._

Merlin sighed, the only other sound coming from his horse's hooves. It was dark, and cold, and unpleasant, and all he wanted was to be back in the nice warm bed with Arthur. At this point he was even willing to give up their relationship, as long as it meant no lich, and him pining after the prince in the shadows. It had been a perfectly good setup until Arthur's brain had kicked in and he'd realized his feelings for Merlin.

A blush crept across his face, images of Arthur and him kissing rushing through his mind. Okay, maybe he was willing to take on a lich by himself as long as he got to return to Arthur. Maybe this was a test. If he could prove to fate, he was worthy of Arthur, it would stop giving them so much hell. _Yeah, right_. Even he wasn't stupid enough to believe or hope for such a thing. Granted, he'd felt that way about Arthur returning his feelings and now look at the mess he was in.

There was no doubt in his mind that Arthur cared for him, but where could their relationship possibly take them? King Uther would find out, if not from one of the servants than town gossip. Or when Arthur turned down all the potential wives, he paraded in front of him. Arthur's life would be much simpler if he'd never realized his feelings for him. Was it still considered leaving Arthur and disappearing from his life if he erased everyone's memories?

Groaning, he dropped his head onto the horse's neck. He didn't want to erase anyone's memories and so far, Gaius hadn't located a spell capable of such a feat, anyway. "Why couldn't he be a poor orphan or something?" Wouldn't that make for a better story for the legend, anyway? The once and future king started off as a poor orphan or partial orphan who rose through the ranks of knighthood and, by some amazing twist of fate, became king. Only Uther wouldn't even let Lancelot try out for a place in the knighthood until Merlin had threatened to leave with him and Arthur had lost his mind.

He blinked _. Maybe I do threaten to leave him too much._ He tried to recall all the times he'd told Arthur he was leaving, or going to walk off on the job, or refused to come back to help Arthur with anything, often resulting in Arthur dragging him back kicking and screaming. And to clarify, they were both usually having a fit until they were able to come to some kind of agreement.

Arthur still seemed particularly sore about his second return to Ealdor. In Merlin's defense Arthur had been unbearable the ride back home, going on and on about how Merlin was wasting his time and feelings for someone like William. Part of him hadn't even wanted to go back to Camelot or be anywhere near Arthur after that. Of course, Arthur had found and dragged him back to Camelot the second he realized he was gone. In return, Merlin had spent the next week tending to the spoiled brat while refusing to say much of anything and pouting. At first Arthur had refused to acknowledge his silence. By the third day he was screaming at him to talk or he was sending Merlin to the dungeon. Arthur never did, and he kept to his sulking till the fifth day when Arthur had managed to become the target of a swamp hag of all things. He never did find out why either. Swamp hags, a rather ugly troll that had similar features to an extremely old woman, only their skin was green and gray, their tangled up stringy hair brown, gray, and green, tended to be harmless, unless you directly harmed their swamp or them. Arthur had never even been to that one's swamp. Leave it to Arthur though to become the target of a creature he'd never met.

He'd thought Arthur done with all his fits until Merlin had received a letter from his mother a few weeks ago, and the prince had refused to let him have it until he'd read it first. He'd claimed it was to make sure it was really from his mother. How Arthur thought he would believe such a lie, obviously Merlin or Gaius would be able to identify a fake letter from his mother long before Arthur could, was beyond him. Arthur had read the letter three times, all the same, before dubbing it "authentic" and giving it to Merlin. Thank God his mother hadn't even hinted at the word magic.

"Gaius better do a good job," he muttered. If he came back and found Arthur hurt or starving or Gaius slacking off, or worse, he would never forgive his adopted father, uncle. _Belden is there_. And Belden had adapted quickly in learning how to deal with Arthur. "I don't want Belden to take care of Arthur!"

He needed to kill this lich and return home immediately. Though after this he might not have a home or friends to go back to. This was the first time Gaius, and he had ever tried keeping the inner knights out of something and Arthur, and he was pretty sure none of them were going to forgive him any time soon for it. _I guess I could be Gaius's apprentice full time after this. Or just go to one of the major cities in Escetir._ Or maybe he could just join the druids _. The prophecy._ He cursed under his breath. "Wait, it says to keep him safe, not that I have to live nearby." The whirlwind of thoughts rushing through his poor brain was beginning to be too much. How could he have been so stupid to leave Arthur after he'd finally gotten the damn prince in his bed? It had taken him years to achieve that, and he'd allowed Gaius to talk him into leaving, all because some stupid undead creature was destroying a city. _And killing people,_ he reminded himself.

"You must really be torn up about this. Usually you don't start talking to yourself until an hour or two outside of the city gates," Gareth called out, pulling his horse up to Merlin's own.

"Yes, well, I've never had to sneak out while leaving Arthur behind in my bed." He turned, glaring at the knight. "I should have known something was wrong when Arthur didn't collapse at the table." Given how susceptible Arthur seemed to be to magic in general. It annoyed him that Gareth had managed to avoid the sleeping draught, but at least he had someone he could rely on with him. The reality of that thought sank in. "… Oh no… Tell me you let Arthur eat the cake."

"We didn't," Lancelot said, coming up to Merlin's other side.

"But… Oh no…" He tried to think hard if Gaius and he had said anything illegal because surely if Arthur hadn't been drugged, he'd been awake when they'd spoken in his bedroom. Their conversation had been embarrassing enough, but that was it, right? The word magic had never been uttered, nor had the word spells. "I, I can't remember…"

"Remember what," Gareth asked.

"If Gaius and I said anything we shouldn't have when we thought he was asleep," Merlin groaned. "I'll be hung for sure!" He might as well have the lich eat him now. The measures of torture Uther made sure magic wielders endured upon being caught was horrific to say the least. A night in the dungeon was nothing compared to everything else. Merlin had stumbled across one record in Gregory's documents where Uther had starved and beaten the sorcerer in question so they wouldn't have the energy to use a spell and escape when he had the sorcerer burned alive. Arthur probably wouldn't turn him over to his father, but... _I let Gaius attempt to drug him. Any trust he had for me is probably gone, anyway._

"Prince Arthur didn't seem bothered by anything like that when we met up.… Though he did accuse us of calling out to him without using a title," Gareth said. "It was rather strange."

"Maybe Gaius realized what was going on and tried to create a distraction." Gaius always, usually, had backup plans that he didn't share with Merlin so he couldn't accidentally screw them up. More than a few had spared them a great deal of grief.

"I'd agree with you, but we never heard his name being called out," Lancelot said.

"Wait." Merlin stopped his horse. "Are you telling me Arthur was possibly being pulled into a magical trap and all of you just left him there?" It was just as he'd feared. He knew he shouldn't have left Arthur's side! "I have to turn around—"

"Prince Arthur seemed to recognize whoever was calling out to him—" Gareth started.

"But you couldn't hear it," Merlin protested. Unless Arthur had completely lost his mind, that left a sorcerer luring him away. And neither options were good! _Getting real sick of this,_ he mentally shouted at fate. Here he'd abandoned his boyfriend, was willing to die alone, and thus put Arthur back on track to a proper marriage to a noble woman, and fate had decided to take what sanity Arthur had left and send him into a trap. He knew what he'd done, but what in the hell was Arthur at fault for? Because he'd realized his feelings for Merlin and acted on them? _It's YOUR fault! You were supposed to be babysitting us! So, leave Arthur out of this!_

"He'll be fine. There are other knights in Camelot and Gaius will know what to do if something did go wrong," Gareth assured him. "We need to get to Glencier and stop this lich."

"Can't some of you go back," Merlin pleaded, though really it should be him going back. If the spell caster was too strong, Gaius wouldn't be able to do much, and at the rate and strength fate seemed to be dishing out punishment, the sorcerer would probably be Merlin's equal. "Just to make sure he's okay?"

"If Prince Arthur hasn't caught up to us soon, we'll go back and look for him."

No. If Arthur had been getting dragged into some kind of sorcerer's plot just as they were leaving, they had to do something now. His stomach sank. It could be the same sorcerer who'd summoned the lich! "No," he said, shaking his head. "No, we have to go back."

"That's madness," Luca said. "Prince Arthur will be fine."

"Arthur's safety is the biggest concern!"

"Merlin, Prince Arthur would kill us if we failed to protect you until he joined us," Gareth pointed out. "And he would be even more disappointed to find out you put the people of Glencier and its neighboring villages, in further danger, because you turned around on a possibility. Prince Arthur seemed annoyed, but not distressed."

"But…" He couldn't just leave Arthur's life up to chance. Perhaps he was overthinking it, but what else could call out to Arthur without the others hearing it? _Oh… but he wouldn't… would he?_ What were the chances that Kilgharrah had called out to Arthur? _That's even crazier than the sorcerer who summoned the lich showing up_. Kilgharrah hated the royal family, though he seemed to tolerate Arthur because of the prophecy. Regardless, he couldn't risk it. "Someone has to go back."

The knights shared a look.

"I'll stay with Merlin," Gareth sighed. "Lancelot, Gwaine?"

"We're going," Gwaine grumbled.

"We'll stop halfway to Lamate. If I remember correctly, there're some hills over there, we can use them to set up a proper camp."

"We'll return with Prince Arthur," Lancelot said.

"I know. Don't take any detours," Gareth gave Gwaine a look of warning.

"I did it twice," Gwaine growled.

"Are you sure," Merlin asked, looking from one knight to the other. "I could go back myself and meet you once I've got Arthur."

Gareth snorted. "And risk you ditching us? We're not exactly in a trusting mood right now."

Merlin nodded, knowing he deserved the words, but hating them all the same. "Don't you think I feel guilty enough? I tried to tell Gaius I didn't want to go, but he said the sleeping draught he added to the cake was so strong all of you would be asleep for days."

"Well, what's done is done," Gareth said.

They started off again towards Lamate, no one saying a word, which was very unlike the knights. Even when they were headed towards one of their more dangerous missions, they were often talking and joking about something, usually Merlin's feelings for Arthur or something Arthur had done to make them believe Arthur was in love with Merlin. If he remembered correctly the last time they'd been out, the knights had been going on about Arthur threatening a lower nobleman for tripping Merlin. If you hadn't known what the poor man had done, you'd have thought he'd committed treason based on Arthur's reaction.

"How angry was Arthur?"

"… I wouldn't say he was angry," Gareth said, slowly. "More like he was disappointed. I explained to him earlier in the evening that you were doing this with his safety in mind. He wasn't happy, but he calmed down."

"I hope he's okay. To think this might have been planned… What if there isn't even a lich? What if this was some lie to get us out of Camelot?"

"Then Lancelot, Gwaine, and Gaius will deal with it."

"It might be too late by then…"

"Merlin, I know your world revolves around Prince Arthur, but he is not the only person in need of protecting. He wants to save Glencier," Gareth said.

"Protecting Arthur is my purpose in life."

Gareth sighed, shaking his head.

They rode in silence after that, the other knights sometimes making comments to each other. He knew if he joined in the awkwardness would fade, but he couldn't. What if he'd made a horrible mistake? What if he'd screwed up and Arthur had been captured, or worse? He should have gone back to Camelot. They'd only been an hour or so from the gate when the others had joined him. Why had he allowed them to talk him out of returning? _Right._ Deep down, he realized, most of him still wanted to confront the lich without Arthur.

The night dragged on, the sky eventually taking on a lighter shade. Merlin stared in front of him in a daze. He was so tired, more mentally than physically, his brain constantly accusing him of getting Arthur killed and all the other possible what ifs. _I should have turned around._

"We should stop," Luca called out.

"Something wrong," Percival asked.

"I think the horses could use a rest and we could use some food. It'll give Gwaine and Lancelot a chance to catch up as well," Luca said.

Gareth looked over everyone, his eyes lingering on Merlin, and sighed. "Agreed."

"You don't need to stop for my sake," Merlin muttered.

"Just because it's cold doesn't mean the horses aren't getting thirsty," Luca pointed out.

"And you look like you're about to fall off your horse," Gareth said, his voice flat.

Merlin shrugged. So, what if he fell off the horse and got trampled? He was more worried that they'd stop and wait for Arthur and the others to come, and none of them would show up. _I should have gone back._ The knights could have gone on to Glencier. But that would have put the knights and whoever was left alive in Glencier in danger. _I should have just told Gaius no._ They could have all left together like Arthur had planned, and he wouldn't be sitting there obsessing over every little thing that might have gone wrong. They would be riding together in their usual arrangement, which since the Ealdor incident as him and Gaius had started calling it, meant Arthur tying his horse's reign's to Merlin's so he couldn't even think of running off. _We could have shared a horse._ He could feel his face heat up at that. It wouldn't have happened, but it was a nice fantasy all the same.

Everyone began dismounting. When Merlin didn't move, Gareth scowled and grabbed Merlin, pulling him off the horse. Merlin's eyes snapped open. "HEY!"

"Stop pouting," he growled. "Prince Arthur is fine. Do you really have such little trust in us?"

"Of course, I trust you!"

"You've a really bad way of showing it. We're used to you drugging Prince Arthur or sending him off on random quests to get him out of the way. But when have any of us ever failed you?" A murmur of agreement from all the knights present. "And when have we ever failed to keep the prince safe?"

"You haven't," Merlin said, unsure of how to get them to understand. A lich was something far more dangerous than what they usually went up against. There was no guarantee they'd even be able to kill it right away. "A lich is a magic problem, and there's only so much all of you can do. This thing could take years to kill. It seemed far safer—"

"To run off and face it by yourself," Gareth demanded, squaring his shoulders, and raising a finger to Merlin. "To get out of your relationship with prince Arthur and leave us to explain everything to him?"

 _Ouch. Death by lich probably would be better than that._ He knew firsthand how hard it could be to calm Arthur down. Lately it seemed like everyone was having problems keeping Arthur calm. Even Uther had given up on keeping his son in line and thrown the job at Merlin. "Alright, you've made your point."

"I hope I have, because if you ever try it again, the second we get wind of any kind of magic trouble, we're tying you up."

Merlin nodded, knowing Gareth wasn't lying. He could tell, not just from his tone of voice, but the looks on his and the other knights' faces. He'd crossed a line, and they were shoving him back in place. "I'm sorry," he said, and meant it. "I just didn't want anyone hurt."

"That doesn't give you the right to stop us. There's only one prince, but there are plenty of knights—"

"How can you say that!? None of you can be replaced!"

"Neither can you," Gareth said.

"I know that, but… I mean…" He bit his lip. If he said anything else, the knights really would tie him up, and he'd never be able to get away from them again.

"Done?" Merlin nodded. "Good. Now get over here, we could use some help," Gareth said.

"Huh?" Merlin followed Gareth's line of sight.

Gareth motioned to an open spot. "It's cold."

"Oh… right." Numbly, he walked to the spot. While the others worked with the horses and Gareth started pulling out food, Merlin started a search for anything he could use for a fire. He noticed a few times when he bent down to grab some dried grass that the other knights were watching him cautiously. It seemed it would be awhile before they trusted him to be out of their sight again.

After finding a number of stones, he made a circle and started gathering sticks, pinecones, leaves, and dried grass. If it wasn't wet, it was good enough. He dropped them into the center of the stone circle and held his hand over it. "Fýrgnást." A small twinge of magic and a spark erupted, the dried contents catching fire. He stared at it, hoping beyond anything that Arthur wasn't in Camelot fighting or getting killed in some horrible way.

"Merlin." Said sorcerer looked up. Lancelot was holding out some dried meat to him, frowning.

"Thanks, but I'm alright." He didn't think his stomach would allow for him to eat anything, not until he was sure Arthur was safe.

"Why are you so convinced something's wrong," Gareth asked.

"Arthur was called out to by magical means! Who does Arthur know that can use magic that isn't out to kill him, besides me?!"

"Gaius," Percival offered.

Merlin frowned at that. That was true. Gaius could have used magic to throw his voice, thus creating a distraction. Maybe he was being paranoid. And Gaius had told him he was going to check on the knights before heading back to the tower. He would have realized his plan to drug the knights had failed, assumed the worst, and went to misdirect Arthur. Perhaps things weren't as bad as he'd feared.

"Well, excuse me for being paranoid! All of you know there's an insane number of sor—" Gareth's hand slapped over Merlin's mouth and he shot his friend the darkest glare he could muster.

"My lord," Gareth called out cheerfully. "We were beginning to wonder if you'd ever show up."

Merlin jerked around, his eyes widening. Gareth removed his hand. "Arthur!?" He scrambled up to his feet. In shouting distance was Arthur and the other two knights. _He's okay!_ All of his horrible anxiety inducing nightmares could now be set to rest, at least for a short while. A look over showed that while Arthur looked tired, he was indeed in one piece and didn't seem to be any worse off than when Merlin had ditched him _. I guess it was Gaius._

"You guys are making horrible time," Arthur said as he stopped his horse next to the others. He slid off in one effortless movement, Luca grabbing the horse's reign. "Why are you going so slow?"

Merlin ran at Arthur, throwing his arms around him.

"Him," Gareth said, pointing at Merlin.

Arthur made a face. "Merlin, calm down. What's gotten into you?"

"I was sure you'd been kidnapped!"

"… Kidnapped? By who," he asked, scrunching up his face.

"By anyone!"

Arthur snorted, pushing Merlin to arm's length. "Well, perhaps you wouldn't need to worry about me getting kidnapped if you hadn't tried to drug me so you could run off and get yourself killed by a lich!"

Merlin flinched. He'd known if Arthur wasn't in trouble, no, even if he had gotten in trouble, that he'd be angry with him. They'd been together a few hours before the one-day mark, and Merlin had tried to drug him and run off after he'd promised he wouldn't. "I'm—"

"Later," Arthur said, walking past him and towards the other knights. "We've got another five-hour ride before we make it halfway to Lamate. I'd like to reach that point or further if possible. If someone can keep up," he said, glaring at Merlin.

Merlin nodded, reality kicking him in the stomach. "I'll keep up," he said, quietly.

"My lord, you can't just—" Gareth started.

"I will handle my own relationship problems, Gareth."

"Well, you're doing a poor job of it," Gareth muttered. He moved past Arthur and shoved the dry meat Lancelot had been trying to get Merlin to take into his hand. "Eat that."

This time Merlin took it. "Thanks." While Arthur and the knights talked, Merlin walked away. It was bright enough now so he could see in all directions. Most of it seemed to be nothing more than flat unending field. Even if he ran, they'd be able to follow him without any problems. _Running is what got you into this situation in the first place._ But standing outside the group of knights, watching Arthur smile at them, hearing them laugh. It was enough to drive him mad. It wasn't like he'd wanted to ditch Arthur or any of the knights, not really. He'd just wanted to keep them safe, and a lich was a magical issue, not a sword issue. Even with their weapons and armor blessed, they would only be able to do so much.

"Are you okay?" Gareth had once again managed to sneak up beside him.

"I don't think it really matters. I betrayed Arthur's and everyone else's' trust, I lied, I did nothing to stop Gaius from adding sleeping draught to the cake. No matter how you look at it, I don't deserve any of the knights' friendship and I certainly don't deserve Arthur." And he'd known that before he'd even arrived in Camelot. Even if they'd both been nobles, if Uther had been crazy enough to agree to their courting, it would have never worked. Did he want to be happy? Of course. Did he want to be with someone? He did, but he'd never felt drawn to anyone like he had Arthur and so hadn't worried about such things. He knew now more than ever though that he was too selfish to be in a relationship with anyone, let alone the Prince of Camelot. "I hurt everyone, especially Arthur. I have to somehow make all of this up to everyone." And he wasn't about to tell Gareth, but the first thing he could do for Arthur was take a step back and let a comfortable distance settle between them again. With any luck Arthur's stubbornness would kick in and he could continue to add to that distance little by little without him noticing. Maybe by the time they got back to the castle, Gaius would have a memory wiping spell. They could decide how far to go with it, and then he could follow all of Huon's rules, fading into Arthur's background as just another servant.

"Merlin," Gareth said, a slight edge to his voice. "You've got that look in your eye."

"How can I possibly fix this?" The tears threatening to come out had nothing to do with 'fixing' his romantic relationship with Arthur, rather knowing he had to restore it as a whole to what it had been before, but the less Gareth knew, the less he and the other knights would interfere.

"When I anger Elizabeth, I have to plan out an entire day just for her. From the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed, I have to make her feel special."

Merlin let out a choked laugh. "How can I possibly make the prince feel any more _special_ than he already does?"

"... Good point, but we'll think of something."

"Gareth!" Both of them jumped and slowly turned to Arthur.

"My lord?"

"Get over here," Arthur said, icily.

"I'm allowed to speak with Merlin." Though even Gareth looked unsure of himself right now.

Arthur folded his arms across his chest, looking mildly annoyed. "You have the map, Gareth."

"... So, I do." He walked towards the gathered knights, taking the map from his pocket as he did.

Merlin couldn't stand it. When they'd all turned their backs again, he started off in the direction back to Camelot and sat down when he was positive no one could overhear him if he started talking out loud and he couldn't hear Arthur and the knights.

He pulled his knees up and dropped his head on them. What if Arthur never trusted him again? What if Gaius couldn't locate a memory altering spell? If it came to that, he might have no choice but to knock Arthur out and demand silence from the knights. When Arthur woke up, he'd pretend their romantic relationship had never happened. Or maybe the lich would take pity on him and eat him. "Ugh! What a mess."

**(TBC)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forget that I'm writing this story for myself and for fun sometimes and everything else should be second to those things. The story always slams into a wall when I do that and yet, I do it all the freakin time and never seem to realize that I’m doing it right away.  
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump  
> Warnings: Shounen-ai, slash, gay, yaoi, whatever. Arthur/Merlin Merlin/Arthur

_I could still leave._ Arthur was mad. The knights were mad. Would it really matter if he slipped off to Glencier by himself? All he had to do was wait for them to set up camp, use a few spells that could help him blend into the darkness and mute his movements. If he kept going while the others slept, he might make it before them, considering he wouldn't be able to take the horse. Knowing the knights and Arthur, they would no doubt continue to keep a constant watch on him. If they risked it, someone would stay up with him. That meant his next chance to ditch them would be in Lamate when they stopped to leave the horses and get some sleep. 

_Unless…_

Maybe this had been Gaius's plan all along. What better way to kill their relationship than for Merlin to piss off Arthur enough to make him end the relationship himself? If Arthur initiated the breakup and put the wall up, he couldn’t get angry at Merlin for it, and since he knew that Merlin wasn't worth courting, he could move on. By trying to drug the knights, they’d be angry with him as well, meaning once he did get away, no one would think him worth going after or even grieve much if the lich did end his life. 

He blinked, staring at the back of Arthur's head. Either he really was becoming paranoid or Gaius was a genius. 

_Well, that solves one problem. Two, actually._ If Gaius had called Arthur to the side and convinced him to break it off with Merlin, that meant he could sneak off without feeling guilty. The prince wouldn't sink into a state of depression or worse. Go on a destruction spree of Camelot. The knights would remain loyal to Arthur, because Merlin was the one who’d screwed up. Gaius had figured everything out perfectly. _Note, never anger Gaius._ He was too impressed with all of this to even be the slightest bit mad at his uncle, even if it had cost him his relationship with Arthur. _It’s better this way._ Though it was a little scary that Gaius had managed to pull this off. 

Still, now he had to figure out how to get to Glencier before the others did. He decided the next spell he was going to locate and learn was a teleportation spell or something that allowed him to travel faster than normal. 

Merlin looked over at Arthur and the gathered knights. They were all hunched together, no doubt looking over the map. He could just make out the sound of laughter, his loneliness growing. 

_I might as well be a child back in Ealdor._ At least when he was there, he had William and his mother. In Camelot, he had Gaius. Here he had. Well. He had a horse. Technically, it was Arthur’s horse, so really, he had himself. Scowling, he pulled his glove off and bit down on it, screaming. 

"Really, the dried meat tastes much better," Lancelot said. 

Merlin turned, glaring at the knight. His attempt to scare Lancelot away, failed. It seemed you couldn't be threatening if you had a glove clasped between your teeth. Not unless there was a disembodied hand still inside, bone sticking out of the end, and blood dripping to the ground. Maybe next time. 

"We… we can't leave you alone for a second," he said, in between laughs. 

_Like anyone else here can make that claim!_ Merlin might not do well with physical attacks, but magical ones? None of them stood a chance against anything magical related. He started to remove the glove when Lancelot grasped his shoulder. 

"I can't stay mad at you." He pulled Merlin up and into a hug. 

"... Thanks?" With his cheek shoved against Lancelot's chest, he couldn’t see how the others, Arthur, were taking this sudden display of affection. He didn't sense any blood thirst though, so either Arthur wasn’t looking, or he didn't care anymore. _Well, if he doesn't care._ He allowed himself to relax and returned the hug the best he could, given the fact that Lancelot had his arms pinned to his sides. _Sorry, Gwen, I'm borrowing your boyfriend for a moment._

"No one hates you. We just don't understand why you suddenly decided you no longer trust us."

The embrace seemed to drag on for many minutes before Lancelot let him go. Merlin took a step back, noting Arthur looking away the second their eyes met. _Something’s changed_. "It's not a lack of trust." Gareth was right. What's done was done. Everyone may be mad, but he needed to be smart about this. If something did happen to him, it would be Gaius, and the knights left protecting Arthur for the rest of his life. He motioned for Lancelot to follow him and started walking further away from the group. He'd known Lancelot the longest, and he was the first knight of the inner circle. Who better to trust? "Gaius and I aren't sure how long this will take or how dangerous this lich might be. We have no idea what the other undead creature is. There are so many things that could go wrong."

"All the more reason why you need us. When Gwaine and I ran into Arthur, he panicked. He was sure something had gone wrong, that you'd managed to get hurt in the short time the two of you had been separated."

Merlin winced. "That doesn't surprise me." And yet, knowing the fear it would incite in Arthur, he'd agreed to Gaius's plan anyway, more proof that he shouldn't be with him. Arthur deserved someone better. Someone who didn't have to lie or disappear whenever something strange happened. Someone who could be truthful and didn't sneak out in the middle of the night after drugging him. "I…" He looked at Lancelot and sighed. He didn't want to burden his friend with what he was thinking. Not when it would cause him so much turmoil. “… This might not end the way we want it to.”

Lancelot’s face hardened. “You’re giving up?”

Merlin shook his head. "No, it’s just… It's over."

"Over?"

"Mhmm." He brought the dried meat that Lancelot had brought him to his lips and took a small bite. Lancelot was right. It did taste better than the glove.

"What exactly is over?"

"All of it," he said, grinning because if he didn’t, he’d start to cry, and he refused to cry with Arthur nearby. The friendships he'd forged, the one romantic relationship he'd ever had, probably his life. Gone at the drop of a hat, all so he could keep their sorry arses safe.

"You're being far too hard on yourself." Lancelot wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulders. “We’re your friends Merlin and friends fight against undead creatures together so they can all return home alive.”

"Why couldn’t I have fallen for you?"

"What good would that have done you? I care for you, but I love Gwen." He smiled, tilting his head. "And the world wouldn’t be right if you hadn't fallen for Prince Arthur. And what would have become of Camelot if you hadn't pushed your way into the prince's life? Gwen tells me he was insufferable before you showed up."

Merlin nodded, snickering. "The Arthur everyone dealt with while Gaius kept me locked up? That was the Arthur I ran into when I first arrived. He was throwing knives at a servant."

"You're joking."

"No, and I got thrown in the dungeon for making him stop. Luckily, Gaius was able to convince Uther to let me go."

"See, if it wasn’t for you, Camelot would have two bullies ruling it."

"I suppose our futures rest with Morgana then."

They shared a laugh, Merlin looking back towards the direction Camelot was in and nibbling on his dried meat. Remembering younger Arthur had him grinning. Arthur had been such an arsehole until he'd learned just how much he loved to play the role of the hero. Funny how fast their distaste for each other had given way to mutual tolerance. Probably a direct result of all the poison Merlin had drunk for him. That stuff was known for killing brain cells, after all. 

_Oh well._ Even if Arthur never looked at him the same way again, his feelings had helped shape Arthur into the king he was becoming. That he’d played a part in making Arthur less of a prat made him feel good. His future wife and Camelot owed him, big time. "Ahh. Twenty-four hours in paradise, right?" He stretched his legs out.

Lancelot looked at him. "Huh?"

"Well, more than what plenty of other people ever get." The list of people Arthur had entertained as dates was short enough, but Merlin had managed to make it to the exclusive gold level list, they’d shared a bed. Diamond rank wouldn't happen now, but hey, you couldn't be on every list. 

Lancelot looked uneasy. "I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"Me either." There was no point in dragging Lancelot’s mood down to his own level. Merlin was quite capable of drowning all by himself in the messes he got involved with and did it quite often, and he was sure he’d recover in due time. It wasn't like he had a choice in the matter. “If something does go wrong, promise you’ll do everything you can to keep Arthur safe. All of you.”

“… What are you planning?”

“I don’t actually have a plan,” Merlin admitted. “So, I have no idea what will happen once we arrive in Glencier.”

“No plan? You and Gaius always have a plan.”

“Not this time.”

“Come on you two,” Gareth shouted, stopping Lancelot from answering. 

"It looks like we're setting off," the knight said instead. Merlin nodded. The knights and Arthur had put the fire out and were mounting their horses. Lancelot and he started towards their own. "I know things seem bad. Just hang in there." He pulled Merlin into yet another hug. 

"I'll try." He noticed Arthur looking at them. Instead of going into the rage the prince had been defaulting into the last few weeks, he merely looked away. _Well, there’s all the proof I need._

With everyone accounted for, they started off, Arthur in front, the knights in formation around their prince. For the first time since Ealdor, Arthur hadn’t tied his horse to Merlin’s, and the warlock was back in his old spot trailing behind the group. 

The others continued talking amongst themselves. Merlin found it a little strange that no one seemed to be watching him anymore. Running off now would be a mistake though. _Wait until they're asleep and leave a note saying I've gone to the nearest tavern on my bedroll._ The resulting fantasy in his head of his traveling companions’ reactions to said note had him giggling. 

An hour ticked by, followed by another. By the third, it had begun to snow. Twenty minutes later, it was sleeting. The heavy slush pelted them fast, making it hard to see, and the horses not want to walk. 

"We're going to have to stop in Solrarea," Arthur said, his frustration clear. 

"They've got great taverns there," Gwaine said. "Might as well enjoy a good drink before riding towards are possible deaths."

 _The only one possibly dying is me_ , he thought, rolling his eyes. Not that he was going to say that out loud. _Wait._ Had Arthur said Solrarea? Surely, not _that_ Solrarea, but he was pretty sure there was only one city in Camelot with that name. 

"I spoke with the two men from Glencier. They said when they’d left the area it had just begun to snow," Arthur sighed. "The sky before us doesn't exactly look inviting either."

Merlin glanced to the sky in the north. It was gray, mean looking, and begging them to come so it could ruin their day with even worse weather than they were attempting to endure now. Just what they all wanted. Still better than risking a visit to Solrarea. 

"Are you going to be okay traveling in this?" 

It took Merlin a second to realize Arthur was looking at him. "Why wouldn't I be?" He'd made it this far and as long as Uther or a hired assassin didn't come out of nowhere and decapitate him, he was sure he would live through some sleet. Sleet beat entering Solrarea with Arthur. 

"Merlin, you already look sick again." 

"I do?" He didn't feel sick. Plenty depressed and now panicked, but he wasn't sharing that information with anyone. They all had enough to be worried about, and his current mental condition was far from the top of the list.

"Come here." 

"For what?" 

Arthur glared at him.

Merlin threw his hands up. "Fine." If he proved to Arthur he wasn’t dying, hopefully he’d just let them camp out in the snow. With a gentle nudge, he brought his horse up next to Arthur's. 

Arthur removed his glove and placed it on Merlin's forehead. "How's your breathing?"

Merlin's cheeks began to burn. "I'm fine."

"It's not just me, right Gareth?"

Suddenly Gareth was on his other side, leaning in to get a good look. "Hmm… No. He's definitely pale."

"Maybe we should stay in Solrarea tonight. It's a little out of the way, but I'd rather not risk Merlin collapsing again."

"I'm not going to collapse again," he protested. And he really didn't want to go to Solrarea. The last time he'd fallen into the city's giant fountain and then had the pleasure of almost being unwillingly seduced by the city's ruling lord, a pervert named Winston. He'd only been spared because Arthur had entered his room demanding fresh water right as the ruling lord had tried to climb into his bed. "Solrarea is so far out of the way."

"We can stay at the Wind's Whisper," Lancelot said, quickly. "Right, my lord?"

Arthur's face grew dark as his memory seemed to kick in. "Yes. Winston doesn't even need to know we stopped by."

"Really, I'm fine with camping." 

"I'm not."

"You like camping and I'll be fine."

"You don't know that, and Gaius isn't here to save you this time!" He ran a hand through his hair. "I swear I'll learn some basics from Gaius when we get back. Until then, we need to be careful."

Merlin tilted his head. "Is that why you were reading that book about herbs last night?"

Now Arthur's face was red. "No." He looked away from Merlin to the other knights. "We're agreed then? Solrarea and then Lamate?"

"Agreed," the knights said in union.

"I don't get a say?"

"Six to one Merlin.,” Arthur said, smirking. “You lost.”

(X)

"We made it," Gwaine sobbed. 

Luckily, the gates were still open when they arrived. Merlin had only been to Solrarea a handful of times, but he had enjoyed himself each visit, except for the one including Lord Winston in his bed. Most of his visits had been with the knights when they had a mission to complete. Once he'd gone with Percival alone to help remove a few goblins from the area. It was the one visit with Arthur that had ruined the city for him. Arthur had stayed at Winston’s manor and well, Merlin didn’t want any repeats. 

"If none of us get sick, it'll be a miracle," Gareth whispered. 

Merlin agreed, but Gareth hadn't been talking to him, so he didn’t answer. He was cold though and wet, and the cold seemed to have seeped into his very bones, despite his coat and other winter clothes. 

"I just hope the inn has rooms available,” Arthur muttered. 

Solrarea was smaller than Camelot, with no castle, but a small governor's manor, well, small by noble standards. The other buildings dotting the city were mostly shops, the living quarters further east from the entrance. The roads were made of white stone, as were the walls and most of the buildings. In the summer, the sun on the stone made the entire city look like it was glowing. Today, it reminded Merlin of bones.

"Like anyone would stay here if they didn't have to once word about what happened in Glencier arrived," Gareth pointed out. 

There was plenty of distance between the two cities, but not enough if you asked Merlin. You really couldn’t ever have enough distance between yourself and a lich.

"True, " Luca said. 

"Will you be staying with Lord Winston," Gareth asked. 

Arthur shook his head. "It would be rude to ask him to shelter all of us without any prior warning."

"All of us," Gwaine repeated with a laugh. "I'm staying at the Wind's Whisper. They have far stronger…" He seemed to notice Arthur was glaring at him. "I mean, it'd be rude to impose," he finished with a cough.

"If everyone promises not to get drunk, we can all just stay there," Arthur said. 

"And you will risk insulting Lord Winston. If nothing else, my lord, you need to let him know you’re here,” Gareth said.

"He'll make me stay if he knows I'm here."

Merlin couldn’t help smiling as Arthur’s voice changed from authoritative to whining.

"We'll manage without you, we always do." Gareth turned to Luca. "You brought sticks with, yes?"

Luca nodded.

 _Ugh. I was hoping they wouldn't do that._ He'd been sure since Arthur… _right_. Merlin gave his head a firm shake. He was miserable enough with how soaked he was without reminding himself that he'd probably broken some sort of record when it came to how short-lived his relationship had been. 

"Sticks," Arthur asked, looking at the knights for an explanation.

"Nothing to worry about my lord. It has nothing to do with you." 

Arthur didn’t look convinced. 

"Percival, we'll get Prince Arthur to Lord Winston's. I expect you all to wait for our return before drawing."

"Of course, " Lancelot said. "We wouldn't dream of pulling without you."

Gareth snorted. "I know I would, so I'm warning you."

 _This is taking too long._ He scanned the area, spotting the large double doors that marked the entrance to the Wind's Whisper a few streets over. He knew the place was warm and dry and had a bath. And while Lord Winston's had fireplaces and would have Arthur, Merlin couldn’t handle staying another night at that manor. Lord Winston wasn’t known for keeping his hands to himself, and unlike Gareth, he wasn't joking. Arthur probably didn't even know he'd spared him from sure doom the last time they were there. And he most likely didn’t know Winston had begged Merlin to consider becoming his personal servant before attempting to get into his bed to ‘convince him properly.’

"Gwaine, I'm heading to the inn before I freeze to death, or worse," he whispered. 

Gwaine frowned, but nodded.

Merlin started for the Wind’s Whisper. The inn was located near the center of the town. A large stone building with no more than twenty rooms at most. Warm light filtered into the street, Merlin’s heart doing a small dance. He still had some gold coins left, and he was determined to get inside and get his own room so he could pout in privacy about the curse that was his life.

He stopped at the barn, handing his horse over to a stable hand. The horse seemed relieved to be out of the awful weather. 

Merlin took a step towards the inn and screamed as his right foot went one way and his left went the other. His head collided with the ground, stars shooting across his vision. It took him a moment to realize the water and sleet were somehow soaking even more into his coat and tunic. 

"Ugh."

"Are you okay!?" The stable hand came rushing out of the barn. 

Merlin glared at him. How could he run in the slush and not end up on the ground?

"I'm fine." At least he was pretty sure he was. Slowly he sat up. His vision refused to settle, but he couldn’t stay outside, not when Winston could pop out of nowhere and possibly kidnap him or something.

"Maybe you should wait," the man said, uneasily. 

"I can't just lie here in the water." Well, he could, but he'd already decided he was going to die saving Camelot from a lich, not from catching pneumonia and then there was the Winston problem. 

The stable man crouched next to Merlin, placing an arm under him, and helped him stand up. Merlin noted he was pretty good looking, as he staggered into the inn without further damage.

"Thanks." He gave the stable man a large smile and started towards the long counter on the opposite side of the room. The bright room was filled with rowdy people, loud talk, and even better, music, that had him forgetting his run in with the ground and Arthur would soon be officially detained to Lord Winston's manner, so he was free to do whatever the hell he wanted. Within reason. Nothing extravagant, just a warm room, an even warmer bath, some food, and drink. _Maybe_ he’d run off with no one was looking.

Behind the counter stood a tall man with cropped black hair, Reginald if he remembered correctly.

The man looked him over with distaste until Merlin removed his hood and recognition registered in the innkeeper's eyes. "Merlin!"

"I told you I'd be back eventually,” he said, grinning. 

"You look like you fell into the fountain again!"

At the very center of Solrarea was a gigantic fountain with deep pools and plenty of beautifully crafted statues. A fountain that Merlin had become quite acquainted with while chasing a goblin through the town. 

"Not this time."

The words seemed to jog a few memories. 

"Merlin’s back," a man from somewhere amongst the tables shouted.

"Merlin," a woman's voice asked loudly. 

"Merlin!" A nervous laugh, and suddenly there was an arm around Merlin's shoulders. "It's not nice to get neighboring cities condemned,” Gareth hissed.

 _Condemned?_ "What are you talking about?" Why would talking to others at the Wind’s Whisper get Solrarea condemned?

Gareth looked downright distraught. “You ran off without telling Prince Arthur where you were going.”

"What does Arthur care?" He was a free warlock, thanks to Gaius. 

"Is that a trick question," a sinister voice asked, the entire room dropping a few degrees, customers going silent. Gareth backed away from Merlin, a new arm snaking around Merlin's chest from behind and pinning him to the speaker's own. 

Merlin dropped his head back, surprised. "No?

The rest of the knights entered the inn, heads all turning towards them. Merlin knew they were quite the spectacle. At the least, they all looked like drowned rats and that was being nice about it.

"I turned my back for one minute to discuss with everyone—Why are you soaking wet!?" He released Merlin, water dripping off his coat sleeve. "Did you fall into the fountain again?" 

"No," he huffed. "I slipped outside by the stables!"

"Are you… of course you’re not,” Arthur growled, turning back to the innkeeper. “We need six rooms. One with a fireplace so this idiot can dry off without getting sick!”

"O, of course, Prince Arthur. How long will you be staying?"

"Just the one night. We'll be leaving early tomorrow." 

"That will be eighteen gold pieces."

Arthur dug into his pocket, removing a pouch, and counted out the money before handing it to the innkeeper.

"I, I hope you'll find our rooms to your taste."

"Do the doors by any chance have locks?"

Merlin paled.

"Let’s draw," Gwaine grinned.

 _Why are they doing this in front of him!?_ "For order only!" He motioned to Arthur who, thank God, seemed oblivious to what his knights were doing. Of course, Arthur had finished talking with Reginald at that very moment.

Arthur looked genuinely confused. "What aren’t you telling me about these sticks?” 

Gwaine looked at Arthur, the grin dying on his face. "Right… Guess we don't get to do this anymore."

"It's tradition," Gareth said, frowning. 

_Just drop it!_ If Arthur's possessiveness sparked again because of the knights, he was going to strangle them. "We're not outside," Merlin reminded his companions, feeling more than a little guilty. They were all staring at him like he was some kind of prize and usually in this situation he was _. I can still warm them up if we can ditch Arthur._ “We need rooms first to put our things away." The knights’ eyes lit up. 

Gwaine held the sicks up in his fist. "Okay, draw. On pull! One... two... PULL!” The knights each pulled out a single stick from the bundle. Gwaine shoved the others back into his pack. "Who's longest?" One by one, they placed their sticks next to each other on the floor by their feet. 

"I think we have a tie," Gareth said.

Gareth’s and Luca's were longer than everyone else's, but the same length. 

"I could have warmed everyone up already." The knights didn't seem to hear him though as they lapsed into a sudden death match with the sticks. Sighing, Merlin spotted Arthur talking to the innkeeper again. He’d almost forgotten how much easier his life was without Arthur keeping tabs on him every few seconds.

Merlin sighed as Luca and Gareth prepared to arm wrestle. He could have warmed up everyone in the tavern by now.

"We have a problem," Arthur whispered stopping beside Merlin. 

"They're out of rooms?"

"No, just not enough for everyone to have their own. There are refugees from Glencier here."

"Oh, well, I'm used to sharing a room, anyway." He motioned to the knights. Luca and Gareth had taken a seat at a table, locked in an arm-wrestling match. 

Arthur stared. "What are they doing?"

He never thought he'd have to explain this to anyone, and least of all Arthur. At least this would make things less awkward on Arthur’s part when it came to deciding who to dump Merlin on. "Whoever draws the longest stick gets to share a room with me." He watched Arthur's face go blank before turning a beautiful shade of red. "I know, it's stupid, but it's the only way they could come up with to make the choosing random." He didn’t add that the length of the sticks designated the order of who Merlin would charm things for. In this case, drying them up and warming their room. 

"How often do they do this!?"

Merlin shrugged. "Every time we go somewhere. Lancelot only joins in for fun. The others hate it when he wins, but Gareth says at least I'm safe with him." 

"For the!" Growling, Arthur stomped across the room. "Who came up with this!?” 

"Percival," Lancelot said. 

Percival glared at Lancelot. 

"And these two idiots are fighting for first?"

"Yes."

"Perfect. Gareth, Luca, Percival. You three are sharing a room!" He turned and headed back to the innkeeper. 

"Who gets Merlin then," Gareth protested.

Arthur turned, his glare promising a very slow and painful death. "Who do you think?" He snatched Merlin’s hand and pulled him back to the counter. 

Merlin caught Gareth smirking and the knights smiling at each other. 

_They planned this! And after all of Gaius’s hard work!_

Merlin caught a horrible sight at the entrance to the inn. "Um, Arthur?" 

“Wait until—”

“No,” Merlin said. Arthur turned, looking like he was ready to scream when Merlin quickly pointed to the door. 

Arthur's body went rigid. “Damnit.” He moved in front of Merlin, the warlock blushing.

A tall man with thinning brown hair approached them, two men in armor following behind him in silence. “Prince Arthur! What nonsense is this? I made myself presentable as fast as I possibly could, and you still left before I had a chance to say hello!” The other patrons in the tavern had lowered their voices now, and even the music had dropped a few volumes. He stopped in front of Arthur, bowing. “There’s no need for you to spend the night in such a… place. I always have a spare room made up for traveling nobles.” His eyes traveled to Merlin, the warlock dropping his gaze to the floor. “And their servants of course.”

(X)

 _Wouldn’t you just love that?_ He squared his shoulders, doing his best to give Winston the smallest view of Merlin possible. He hadn’t even wanted to stop in Solrarea, but Merlin hadn’t looked well, and he couldn’t let his boyfriend get sick again. The last time they’d come to Solrarea, the pervert had tried jumping Merlin in his bed. Luckily, he’d noticed Winston going to the servant's quarters alone. He’d had no choice but to give Merlin a pointless list of petty chores one after the other until they were both exhausted. Winston had somehow remained awake and acting as a ‘proper lord’ had done everything he could to ‘help’ Merlin by showing him where everything in the manor was located. Finally, he’d just ordered Merlin to sleep in a chair next to his bed because if he didn’t, neither of them would have ever gotten any sleep. 

He flashed Winston a smile. “Lord Winston, I didn’t want to impose on you finding rooms for all my knights, and I’m afraid I need to speak with all of them on how to proceed with our mission.” For more reason than one. Such as explaining to his knights that there would be no more drawing of sticks for Merlin’s company at night. And so help them all if any of them had done anything questionable to his boyfriend during one of those nights. He didn’t think any other kingdoms had this problem. Why was Camelot such an exception to the rules place? 

“Nonsense. We can figure out some sort of sleeping arrangements.” He noticed Winston was practically undressing Merlin with his eyes and felt his hand wrap around the hilt of his sword. Merlin placed his hand over Arthur’s own. 

“Don’t,” he whispered. 

Mentally scowling, he forcibly removed his hand. “We’ll be leaving shortly after sunrise. It’s far more convenient for your staff if we just stay the night here.” This wasn’t working. Winston was hardly paying attention to him, his eyes glued onto the tiny bit of Merlin he could see. Choosing the lesser of two evils, he lifted his arm, motioning to Gareth. 

Gareth came without protest. “My lord?” 

“Take Merlin to my room, and lock the door behind you,” he whispered, shoving the key into Gareth’s hand. “Now.” 

“Um, sure.” He took Merlin’s hand. “Come on. Your owner wants you locked up.” 

“H, huh?!” 

“Just go,” Arthur said, without turning around. “I’ll explain later.”

“Don’t do anything stupid!” 

_I wouldn’t have to if the entire world would stop trying to seduce you!_ Thank god he was the prince! At the rate things were going, he’d need to be king and enact a law that Merlin was off limits to everyone, but himself. And chances were even after he did that, all the law would do would get the dungeons filled beyond holding capacity.

“Prince Arthur, your servant and knights—”

“Lord Winston, I didn’t inform you that I was here in Solrarea to throw your manor into chaos. We’re just passing through and I wished to give you the customary greeting.” Though Winston hardly deserved even a head nod from him. What were the chances he could convince his father to get rid of this fool and have him replaced with someone, anyone, a statue maybe? With his luck, the statue would come to life and hit on Merlin, anyway. _How is the biggest idiot of the kingdom also the most desirable one?_ Not that he could say much. He’d fallen for Merlin just like everyone else, he’d just gotten lucky that Merlin wanted to be with him. 

“S, surely…” His shoulders fell as he saw Gareth march Merlin towards the stairs, and he moved again, blocking Winston’s view. 

“Do not make me order you back to your manor.” His voice had taken on a hard edge and he decided he didn’t care. Winston could complain all he wanted to his father about him being rude. All he had to do was explain that Winston didn’t have the room to house all the knights, and they were talking about strategies for taking on the lich and Winston kept interfering with their meeting.

Winston’s eyes widened. “Prince—”

“I would hate to have to tell my father you interfered with royal business.” 

Winston paled at that. “I would never—”

“Then leave us to our mission. When things aren’t so dire and we have time to spare, we can enjoy the hospitality of your manor.” Meaning he never would, at least not with Merlin and if he couldn’t take Merlin with him, he wasn’t coming so, tough luck for the pervert. 

Winston dropped into a full bow, Arthur turning his back on him as he did. Luckily, his father cared little for Winston. If he’d pulled this at any of the other cities, he’d be in the dungeons for a week. None of the other lords or ladies had ever tried to climb into Merlin’s bed though, not literally anyway. Well, for now it didn’t matter. Merlin was safely locked away in his room with Gareth because he trusted Gareth more with Merlin than he ever would Winston, not that he really trusted Gareth. _I should have sent Lancelot._ But Gareth was more likely to kill anyone who so much as looked at Merlin wrong than Lancelot was. 

**(TBC)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the problems these two cause for each other, not to mention everyone else around them. Including me when I'm trying to write a decent chapter and they make it near impossible. I suppose that's what rewrites are for.  
> Warnings: This is shounen-ai, slash, gay, yaoi, Arthur/Merlin, Merlin/Arthur   
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump.

Merlin grabbed the corner of the wall with his free hand, causing Gareth to stumble when he kept walking unaware of Merlin’s sudden resistance. He turned, raising an eyebrow at Merlin.

“We can’t just leave Arthur alone with Winston,” Merlin quietly hissed. “If I hadn't stopped him a second ago, the pervert would be headless right now!" If anyone should be getting sent to their room, it should be Arthur! Granted, it was unlikely the prince would be punished if he did anything to the pervert while Merlin would risk jail time, which he couldn’t afford, because keeping Arthur safe from magic related issues was difficult enough already without trying to do it from the dungeons, but he couldn’t let Arthur leave a trail of bodies behind on their way to stop the lich either.

"Have some trust—"

"Trust!? Did you forget everything he did during the three days I was recovering?”

Gareth frowned, and Merlin could see that the knight was having what could only be traumatic flashbacks.

Arthur was _not_ to be trusted, now or ever. Not when it came to his behavior, anyway. He turned his back on Gareth, looking past the corner. He couldn’t see Arthur’s face, but given the look on Winston’s, Arthur wasn’t happy. What had Winston done to Arthur, anyway? It wasn’t like he’d tried to get into the prince’s bed the last time they were here. Judging by the looks of shame and embarrassment Winston’s guards were wearing, the stupid pervert must have said something particularly bad. They kept looking nervously at the knights of Camelot, which Merlin noted were now the only people inside the inn. Somewhere between Gareth dragging him towards the steps and him grabbing the corner, the tavern had emptied out, Reginald included. This meant Merlin needed to do something, but he wasn’t entirely sure what. If Winston was a sorcerer or a magical creature, he could yell at Arthur to look in another direction, tackle Winston to the floor and end him. As it stood, the pervert was just a creepy old man who needed to return to his manor, now. 

"I'm going to create a distraction."

"And then what!?"

"I'll let you know when I figure that out." He positioned himself to take a running start and bolted. And didn't move a centimeter. He pulled harder, but the back of his coat seemed to be caught on something. 

"What are you doing?"

Merlin stopped and looked in the direction of the voice. A good-looking man close to his age, with black hair and blue eyes, and clad in armor was standing behind him and holding him in place. "Thane!" The man released Merlin, and the warlock did a complete turn around and hugged him. "How have you been?" He hadn’t seen Thane since the last time he’d been in Solrarea.

"Fine," he laughed, returning the hug.

“What are you doing here?” Thane was the commander of Winston’s guards. _Uh-oh_. He frowned. “You haven’t come to arrest Arthur, have you?”

Thane sighed, looking over Merlin’s shoulder. "I heard you and Prince Arthur were visiting and returned from the patrol immediately. Smartly so it would seem," he said, dryly. 

"MY LORD!!" 

Merlin followed Gareth’s dash past him and his grab of Arthur’s arms. "I'm so sorry," Merlin sighed, shaking his head slightly. "I'm a failure of a manservant. I tried so hard to teach him some manners."

Thane nodded, a look of understanding on his face. "As did I with Lord Winston."

"PRINCE ARTHUR, PLEASE!!" 

Merlin briefly noticed Arthur dropping onto the floor, Winston beneath him. Arthur must have read his mind about wanting to choke the arsehole. After everything he'd been through the last few days, though, he just couldn’t muster up the energy to care that Winston was about to say goodbye to the world. Besides, this would let Arthur get rid of some of his pent-up energy and maybe, just maybe, he would calm down enough to keep Merlin as a friend. Or at least as a servant at the castle. And he couldn’t imagine anyone getting sad or angry at Winston’s removal. There might be a party, though. This really was a win, win situation for everyone. 

"WOULD YOU TWO HELP ME!?" 

"Lord Winston deserves it," Thane called over happily. 

"Yeah," Merlin agreed. The only downside to this was that Arthur was getting to have all the fun _. I'm tired anyway._

"So, how've you been? Any more goblin chasing?" Thane was smiling again, no doubt remembering Merlin’s swim in the fountain. Thane had been the one to drag him out after his sudden trip into the water.

"Worse. I got sick and Arthur almost destroyed Camelot." It seemed like such a long time ago. He wished he could go back to that time and beat his younger self with a chair until he was bedridden for a few weeks and Arthur never realized his feelings for Merlin and thus fate did't release a lich on Lamate. 

"MERLIN!"

Said sorcerer rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to Gareth. Gwaine had joined him. The two of them had gotten the prince onto his feet, each holding one of Arthur's arms while Lancelot and Percival pulled Winston away. The two guards who’d been behind Winston had vanished. Merlin hoped the knights hadn’t hurt them. It wasn’t like Winston’s guards enjoyed their job any more than half the people in Camelot enjoyed serving Uther. It was just a job you woke up and did for what little money you were paid and to avoid jail time for refusing to work for the king of the country. You just replaced king with governor, jail with Winston’s bed, and Solrarea with Camelot.

"YOU BARBARIAN!!!" Winston had a horrible bruise forming around his neck, and a swollen eye to match it. 

Merlin sighed. "Sorry, Thane. His temper really has been out of control lately." Not to mention every other emotion the prince had. When was Arthur going to settle down and act like a person? He was the only heir to the throne of Camelot, and supposedly an adult. He should be chasing after princesses, saving the world, learning how to run the kingdom from…well, maybe Gregory and Gaius, not in a bar fight with another noble that put Gwaine’s skirmishes to shame.

Thane looked surprised. "More than usual?"

"Bad break up,” Merlin explained. Making all of this his fault. But he liked Thane and wasn’t about to tell him that. Besides, they’d been together less than twenty-four hours and they’d only made out like twice. Arthur should have moved on already. There had to be like ten noble women lined up for him already by Uther. All Arthur had to do was point and one of them would arrive in a few days for him to date.

"Those are always the worst."

 _No kidding._ The one relationship he’d wanted and somehow gotten, and it was all over with in the blink of an eye. The fact that Arthur had given him a chance at all was simply amazing. Sure, he’d screwed it up, but for a short while, once some of the shock had worn off, he’d been happy. He’d probably be a sobbing mess once they’d dealt with the lich and returned to Camelot, but he had to survive the lich to make it to that point and the chances of that happening? Ha! The despair wouldn’t have a chance to sink in.

"You want me to be a barbarian?!" Somehow, Arthur managed to lurch forward, bringing the two knights with him. Winston screamed and bolted through the inn door.

"For the," Merlin sighed. "I'll be right back. The last thing I need is for Arthur to destroy the inn and get us kicked out." Or annihilate all of Solrarea tracking Winston down. He started towards the fight. The prince was thrashing, trying to get Gareth and Gwaine to release his arms. "ARTHUR! Save it for the Lic—" He cut himself off with his own scream, stars shooting across vision. Everyone's attention snapped to Merlin as he staggered back and landed on his arse, as usual. Blood began pouring from his nose. 

The knights and Arthur went into a frenzy at once, each of them running or crawling towards Merlin until they encircled him. The entire scramble had only taken a few seconds. A new record for them. The thought made him giggle.

"What happened," Arthur demanded.

"You hit him," Gareth shouted. 

"No, I didn't!"

"Your elbow hit his nose,” Lancelot said.

Arthur's face turned white. "Get the first aid kit out of my bag!!" 

This was turning into one of Merlin’s more bad days. Waking up before dawn, having to leave behind Arthur, who'd been in his bed, and getting dumped as a result. He was soaked, had been mentally undressed by Winston, and now Arthur had assaulted him, and he couldn’t do anything about it because Arthur was in his face and there was no way he could pull off a healing spell with the prince so close. 

He blinked as blood started seeping through his fingers and onto the floor. 

"Merlin, I'm so sorry!! Here, let me help!" Arthur pinched the bridge of Merlin’s nose. "You know I didn't do this on purpose, right!?"

He nodded, regretting the movement. His world started spinning, drops of blood splashing onto his coat. His eyes widened. _Gaius is going to kill me!!_ He realized the coat was the least of his worries because there was a small lake of it on his pants _. I know a blood removal spell, don't I!?_ He honestly couldn't remember, but he thought he did. That sounded like a spell that would have been in the book Domestic Spells for Around the Home that he'd been studying from recently. 

"Hurry up, I think he's going into shock!"

"You don't go into shock from getting hit in the nose," Gareth said, shoving the first aid kit into Arthur’s free hand. 

Thane appeared next to Gareth and said something Merlin couldn’t hear. Gareth nodded and Thane walked out of sight towards the inn door.

"Merlin!"

"Huh?" He looked at Arthur. 

The prince looked relieved that Merlin had answered him. "Do you think you can walk?"

"Probably." He had a bloody nose, not a sword wound. The amount of blood pouring through his fingers was rather alarming, though.

"You need to stop the bleeding first," Gareth protested. 

"R, right!" Arthur removed his hand, pulled the first aid kit open and started fumbling through it. He held the gauze up in triumph and stared at it, then back at Merlin. "I don't know how to use this to stop a nosebleed!" Merlin stared at him. "Don’t look at me like that! You're the doctor in training!" 

_So, this is how I die. Not from the Lich or Uther, but by bleeding out from a bloody nose because Arthur has lost his mind._ "Just give it to me!" He snatched the gauze from Arthur.

Arthur stared at him wide eyed. "Oh my God…"

"What?" He placed the gauze under his nose.

"Your face is covered in blood!!"

"Duh!"

"W, we have to get you cleaned up!" He looked around the room frantically before deciding to grab Merlin and pick him up, bride style. "Where are the baths!?"

"PUT ME DOWN!"

"Merlin, you're bleeding again," Gareth sighed.

**(X)**

"Ugh." Merlin slid deeper into the warm water until it reached his chin, the sound echoing throughout the room. Why couldn’t he have one normal day? Just one, he'd even settle for an hour or two of pure normalcy. Anything to give him a break from the constant chaotic mess that was his life _. I guess that's what sleep and death are for._

He was grateful for Arthur stepping in and shielding him from Winston, but to tell Gareth to lock him up? Not to mention his sudden attack on the governor. His reaction to Merlin’s bloody nose. One minute Arthur wanted nothing to do with Merlin, and the next he was ordering everyone to treat him like a princess. It was quite confusing.

 _I should hurry_. The knights and anyone else who'd just come in from the horrible weather after running from Arthur and Winston’s brawl would want a warm bath themselves. And really, Arthur should have been the first one in, not him, blood-covered face or not. Though he really needed a relaxing spot to sit in so he could figure out what to do next _. I can come back later, after Arthur’s asleep._

"Merlin?" Arthur's voice and all the concern in it resonated throughout the room. "Is your nose bleeding again?"

Merlin sighed. "No." 

"Good."

He rolled his eyes. “You know, I’m pretty sure the lich won’t jump me while I’m taking a bath.” Arthur had run through the inn holding Merlin and once he'd finally located the bath, had dropped Merlin in, clothes and all. Instead of joining him like any other person, Arthur had turned his back to him to study the door so he could have ‘some privacy’ while he bathed. 

"This isn’t about the lich! Someone has to stay with you in case your nose starts bleeding again!"

Because Arthur had proven he was the best choice for that. He'd already healed his nose though, so there wouldn't be any new surprise eruptions. Unless Arthur found out, he’d used magic to heal his nose, anyway. 

"I promise not to bleed to death in the bath. You’re free to join me, you know." That’d be a great last birthday gift before he went off to die his valiant death at the hands of the lich. No one would even need to know it’d happened. 

"What!? I can't join you! You don't have any clothes on!"

To think that Arthur was so… prudish. They’d slept in the same bed, made out a few times. Even if they had broken up, that Arthur refused to join him in the bath or even look at him right now was stupid. "I promise to keep my hands to myself."

"Th, that's hardly the issue!"

He snickered. "You nobles are so ‘private’."

".... What do you mean?" Arthur’s voice had taken on an edge. 

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "It's just funny how worried you are about someone seeing you naked."

"I'm not worried about someone seeing me. I'm worried about them seeing you!"

"Me," Merlin asked, laughing. "A bit late for that."

"What do you mean!?"

"The servants' bath at the castle is a public bath like this one. All the men have seen the other men, the women have seen all the women. It's not a big deal."

**(X)**

Arthur's heart stopped. Surely, he'd heard Merlin, wrong. "Don’t screw with me Merlin, I'm not in the mood." 

"I'm not. Ask anyone in the castle."

 _How many people have…?_ He couldn't finish the thought. 

"Hey Arthur?"

"What?" He mentally cursed at how angry he sounded, but he felt like he deserved some leniency here. He’d just found out his boyfriend had been putting his body on display for all the male servants in the castle. 

"What made you jump Winston after Gareth tried to drag me away?"

What hadn’t set him off? Winston had kept babbling about how he wanted to be the perfect host and that he'd be a disgrace if he allowed Arthur and the knights to stay at the inn. And then… He tightened his hands into fists. Then Winston had stepped to the side so he could watch Merlin’s arse walk down the hall and offered to take Merlin off his hands, permanently. "He was being an arse,” he muttered.

"He was being an arse before I left."

Arthur let out a long, frustrated sigh. "He wanted to buy you, okay!? Happy!?" He turned around against his better judgment and slumped against the wall as he took in Merlin's wet form. He could only see him from the chest up, but even that view made his face turn bright red and his legs want to buckle. If Merlin was telling the truth about the public baths in Camelot, how had he gone this long without courting anyone? 

"Eww.” He scrunched up his nose. “He knows I'm a paid servant, right? Not a slave?" 

He realized he was leaning forward just a hint to try and get a view of Merlin’s stomach and slammed back into the wall. Merlin smirked at him. "D, do you really think there's a difference to him?"

Merlin shook his head, water droplets flying.

 _I'm not going to be any better than Winston in a minute._ "Aren't you done yet?" 

Merlin shrugged and stood up. Arthur turned so fast he almost lost his balance and cracked his skull open on the wall and then again on the floor. "DAMNIT MERLIN!" 

"I have a towel wrapped around my waist," he said, his amusement clear. 

It was official. Merlin was going to be the death of him. He dared to look back. Sure enough, his idiot had a towel clinging to his thighs. He turned away again, holding onto the doorknob for support. "That's almost worse than if you were naked!!"

"You're so weird sometimes."

"HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOURSELF!"

"You're the only person I've ever met who's so worried about bath privacy." 

“You’re the only one I’ve met who doesn’t care!” 

It felt like a week had passed, but finally, Merlin had clothes on again. After he'd gathered up all his things, Arthur took his hand and together they left the bath. They passed the empty tavern and went up the stairs, straight to Arthur's room. Inside were all the knights, just as he'd requested through the door after Lancelot had tracked them down.

"Can you go take everyone's things to their rooms?" He wasn't supposed to let Merlin out of his sight, but this conversation needed to happen, and the inn was the least likely place for Merlin to get into trouble. Besides, the other rooms were just down the hall. If something did go wrong, they’d hear Merlin scream. 

"Okay." He released Merlin’s hand. Merlin gathered up the other bags, stopping at the door. "What room should I leave my bag in?"

 _He did not just ask that._ "In here!"

"R, right." He dropped his own bag next to the door and ran out. 

He took a breath. “Now that we're all here." He shut the door, hard. He’d been waiting all night for this, ever since Merlin had explained the sticks to him, and if he was going to ever trust his knights again, they had better start explaining and pray they were innocent. "What. The. Hell!?" He stomped over to them and threw the bundle of sticks he'd forced Gwaine to hand over earlier onto the bed. The knights all looked at each other in turn and shrugged. 

"They're sticks, my lord," Gareth said with a nervous cough. 

"So, all of you have told me. What I want to know is, why all of you have been drawing sticks to… to… well." His smile grew. "Whatever it was all of you have been doing." The collective shudder among all the knights gave him a pleasant rush of power. "Well?"

"What exactly are we being accused of," Gwaine asked. 

"That's what we're here to find out." And why he’d risked sending Merlin to the other knights’ rooms to put their bags away. 

".... My lord. Do you think we've…?" Gareth frowned. " _Touched_ Merlin?"

His eyes flashed. It seemed Gareth wasn’t the complete idiot he’d thought he was. "Well? Have you?"

"Of course not," they all shouted.

"Then explain the sticks!" He pointed at them, like they were some kind of magical objects and in a way they were worse. They shared another look. Arthur wasn’t having it. They only had so much time before Merlin returned and they still needed to eat and get some sleep. Well, he knew how to handle this. Smiling, he grabbed his sword from his bed.

The knights screamed and rushed into different directions, Gwaine and Luca trying to remove their own weapons. Gareth and Lancelot jumped to their feet in front of the others, holding their hands out. 

"No, no, no! My lord, it's nothing like that," Gareth shouted. 

"Well?" He was getting an explanation. 

"None of us have ever done anything untoward to Merlin! I'll explain," Gareth said, quickly. "Remember that time right after we left Realitz?"

"Realitz?” He frowned, trying to think back. “You mean that village we had to help with that weird sickness?" That had been a little over a year and a half ago.

The knights shared another look, and Gareth sighed.

"Y, yes. That one. It was the first time we had all gone on a mission together. Usually, it was just one or two of us with Merlin, so if he was acting strange or distant, whoever was with him handled it. But when there's five of us? We weren't sure what to do. All of us owe Merlin our lives, so we all wanted to help him. So… Percival grabbed some sticks, and we pulled to see who got to keep tabs on him that night."

So, the knights had noticed Merlin’s sudden shifts in behaviors too during missions and had taken it upon themselves to deal with it. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He would have been more than willing to help. Even when he hadn’t realized his feelings for Merlin, he’d still considered him a friend, or something. 

“You were usually busy with other things and Merlin would have only grown more distant if he thought he was being a burden to you,” Gareth said.

Arthur sighed, bringing one hand to his forehead. This was his fault. He’d noticed Merlin’s change in attitude after missions a few times and hadn’t reacted to them. Not because he didn’t care, but he’d thought Merlin was simply tired. When he was obviously distressed, he’d had no idea what to do to make him feel better beyond asking him if there was anything he could do to help. Merlin had always given him what he now realized was a strained smile and told him he was fine, just tired or that he was sad they hadn’t gotten somewhere sooner and so they could have saved more people.

The door opened, Merlin walking in, all eyes falling on him. "I brought your…." he looked at everyone. "I'll just leave your stuff here," he mumbled, dropping Arthur’s coat onto the table. "If anyone needs anything, I'll be in the third room down."

“I don't think so,” Arthur growled. He grabbed Merlin by the wrist and pulled him further into the room. “I didn’t give you permission to go downstairs.” And Merlin had, or he wouldn’t be holding his jacket.

Merlin made a face. “I don’t need permission to go downstairs.”

“You do when we’re discussing certain matters and it turns out you're just as guilty as they are!”

"Guilty? What did we do?" Arthur pointed at the sticks and Merlin’s shoulders slumped. "O, oh. Well, I told you about those already."

"Yes, but you didn’t tell them to stop! You’ve allowed this to go on for a year and a half!" For a year and a half his boyfriend had been finding comfort from his knights. Just once it would have been nice if Merlin had come to him. The idiot hadn’t once come to him for anything even when they were traveling alone together! Did that mean Merlin would rather suffer in silence than tell Arthur what was bothering him?

“So? It’s not like we were sleeping together or making out.”

“You never once approached me!”

"...." Merlin looked at each knight in turn before giving Arthur his full attention. "Are you kidding me!? That’s what you’re concerned about? I didn’t even know you had feelings for me! The one time I dared to think you did, you pushed me away. I didn’t want to risk you pushing me away any further than we were at the time. So, I decided if I talked to anyone, it would be the knights or Gaius.”

The words hurt more than Arthur wanted to admit. Merlin trusted the knights more than he did him. His boyfriend was too scared to even approach him based on something he’d done or said at some point in time that he wasn’t even aware of. How could he have hurt Merlin so much without even realizing it?

“Don’t ever let me catch any of you pulling sticks for Merlin again,” he growled, as he gathered the small pieces of wood and chucked them into the fireplace.

“We won’t,” the knights promised. 

**(X)**

_This is ridiculous!_ At this rate, the knights were going to end up with their heads on a stick. Why did Merlin have to be the mature one all the time? Arthur was older than he was! “Everyone get out,” he said, keeping his eyes on Arthur. The prince glared at him, but it was more of a pout than anything. He didn’t need any of the knights being maimed over this though. Arthur had been right, he was guilty. He’d allowed the stick pulling to go on, had even enjoyed it at times, as he watched them fight over him. Who else was ever going to do such a thing, even if it was just to see who got their bedrolls charmed first? 

“If you need us,” Lancelot said, quietly.

“I won’t,” Merlin answered him. One by one, the knights shuffled out of the room. Gareth gave the two a long look before leaving and closing the door. “Arthur.” The words were barely out of his mouth before he found himself pinned to a wall.

“What did I do to make you not trust me!?”

Merlin blinked a few times, his mind and heart racing. This wasn’t exactly the argument he’d thought they were about to have. “What are you talking about? I do trust you.”

“No, you don’t.” He released Merlin, walking over to the bed, and sitting down on it. “You trust the whole bloody kingdom more than you do me.”

 _What is he three?_ “I trust you more than anyone.” _With most things_. Cautiously he made his way towards the bed and when Arthur didn’t strangle him, he sat down next to him. “I mean, there are certain things I can’t trust you with, Winston’s a good example—”

“Don’t say that pervert’s name,” Arthur snarled.

 _Ah, I was wrong, He’s two_. “What can I do to show you I trust you, leaving you alone aside, because we all know how well _that_ went.”

Arthur glared at him, and he expected the prince to start yelling again. Instead, he sighed, his entire body deflating. “Why would you tell the knights—”

His eyes widened. _Oh no, they didn’t._

“All of your worries instead of me?”

“All of my worries,” he repeated.

“It’s not like I haven’t noticed. Sometimes after a mission you get really distant or depressed.”

 _Oh!_ Well, at least Arthur wasn’t going to be shoving him into the fireplace tonight. “There wasn’t anything you could have done to help.”

“What did I do to scare you away,” he demanded.

He bit his lip. He couldn’t tell Arthur half of the reason he usually got depressed after missions was because he’d used magic and felt guilty for it and just looking at Arthur after he’d used some complicated spell was a constant reminder if he was ever found out, he was a dead man. Or worse, that Arthur would hate him. That even his fantasy Arthur in his head tutted at him for using any magic. He didn’t condemn Merlin like the real Arthur would, but he wasn’t happy. And he certainly couldn’t tell Arthur that after Ealdor he’d thought he might have a chance with Arthur only for him to spend a few hours ranting and raving over how corrupted and evil sorcerers were and basically destroying any self-worth or dreams that he had of getting close to Arthur until he’d had it and ditched the prince and went back home.

“Eh…” Telling Arthur that he enjoyed cuddling didn’t seem like the safest answer either.

“Merlin…”

“Okay, okay,” he said, sighing. Best to get some of this out in the open. He might be dead in a few days, anyway. Arthur couldn’t possibly do anything worse than that. “I try my hardest to keep you out of trouble—” Arthur started to say something, and Merlin put his hand over his mouth. “Because of Uther and sometimes yourself, you get into some of the dumbest situations you can’t even begin to imagine, and I’m the one who gets you out of them. The knights help me sometimes because let’s face it, I’d probably stab myself with my own sword before I’d manage to hurt anyone else.”

Arthur nodded.

“It’s depressing, having to hide so many things from you, but you’re safer that way. And it’s not like I had anyone waiting for me back home to… well, just listen to me. Lancelot has Gwen and Gareth has Lady Elizabeth. I mean, I have Gaius, but it’s not the same. So, when the knights started offering to just sleep next to me… I took advantage of them and said yes. I shouldn’t have let it go on for so long. In fact, I tried to get them to stop once, but it backfired.”

“…That was after we went to Merciel.”

Surprised, Merlin nodded. “Did they tell you that?”

“No, but I remember all of the knights getting into a fight that evening while you went to gather firewood. And I was shocked when I came back from doing a perimeter check to find all the knights asleep around you.” He sighed. “Luca had told me everyone was cold, but it was pretty hot out that _night.”_

_Note, Luca is not good at coming up with lies on the spot._

“These… _situations,_ ” he said, as if the last word was nasty. “They’re related to what we talked about while gathering herbs, aren’t they?”

He nodded.

Arthur sighed again. “I don’t like it, but fine. I won’t pry, but I mean it Merlin. If I see a bundle of sticks in the knight’s hands and they aren’t for a fire, I will make sure they never pick up a stick again.”

“O, okay.” He couldn’t believe Arthur was letting him off the hook with this. 

“And if you feel depressed or need someone to talk to, you come to me, not them. I’m your fiancé.”

“So, we’re completely skipping the courting phase,” Merlin said, then realized what Arthur had actually said. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIANCE?! YOU DUMPED ME!”

Arthur blinked. “No, I didn’t.”

“Yes!”

“No, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered doing something that stupid!”

“This morning, after I ditched you!”

“And risk the entire world rushing in to steal you from me?” He snorted. “I would hardly risk losing you to, well, everyone, just because I was annoyed with you.”

“You’re being paranoid. Half the people you accuse of being in love with me, aren’t.”

“Name five people.”

“…Gaius, Uther, Huon, Gregory, Belden,” he said, proudly.

“…You are such an idiot.”

“There is no way any of them are in love with me. Well… Gaius loves me, but it’s because we’re family.”

“Yeah, and everyone else, but Belden is old enough to be your grandfather!”

“You didn’t say I had to name anyone close to my age, and Belden is—” Arthur’s lips pressed against his own. He wrapped his arms around Arthur, and suddenly winning the argument was the least important thing in the world. 

**(X)**

_Just how many people have seen him naked already?_ The thought had remained on repeat most of the night so far, his entire body growing hot, both at the injustice and the embarrassment of just thinking such a thing. Not just now of course, but the entire time they’d spent eating dinner, which they’d all sat through in awkward silence. He couldn’t even push it from his thoughts when Merlin and he had returned to their room or after Merlin had latched onto him while they lied together in bed. And he was still thinking about it now, hours after Merlin had fallen asleep.

 _How could I be so stupid?_ He opened his eyes, looking at the flames in the fire keeping the room warm and lit. All the male servants had probably seen and even joined Merlin in the castle baths hundreds of times over the years with how much rotten fruit the idiot got thrown at him. It had never even occurred to him that Merlin wasn’t alone in the servants’ bath. The nobles’ bath had both a large open area bath and smaller private ones further back. Why didn't the servants have the same design? _All the knights have probably seen him…_

He felt Merlin’s body pressed against his own and immediately tightened his grip around his idiot. _His_ idiot and no one else’s, regardless if they’d seen him naked or not. And he didn’t really know what was worse, the fact that so many people had seen Merlin without clothes on, and he still hadn’t, or that Merlin seemed to trust everyone in Camelot, but him.

“I’m such a…” he refused to say the word ‘idiot’ out loud when referring to himself. Sighing, he dropped his head on Merlin’s. _Keep him safe… If you let him out of your sight, he might not make it back._ He closed his eyes again. He would keep Merlin safe no matter what it took. It didn’t matter if he had to level the city of Glencier. If that’s what it took to keep Merlin alive, he would do it. The people could rebuild, hell, he’d help them rebuild it, but Merlin could never be replaced. It wouldn’t be easy though, since Merlin didn’t seem to think he was capable of, well, anything. Merlin of all people thought he’d be better suited to take on a lich alone rather than have Arthur go with him. He kept secrets from him, like the stick drawing and when he was depressed, or ran off to the knight for help instead of even hinting to Arthur that something was wrong. 

“How could I fall so hard for you?” He wanted Merlin to stop going to the knights for everything. When something went wrong, when Merlin needed something, he should be coming to him. He’d concede that Gaius was probably better when it came to giving advice, but when Gaius wasn’t around, he should be the first person Merlin thought to go to. Merlin had promised in between kissing he’d come to Arthur first from now on, but whether or not he really would… What could the knights possibly offer Merlin that he couldn’t, anyway? So, what if he’d accidentally pushed Merlin away? Merlin was guilty of the same crime and had committed the infraction only a week before. 

He let out a frustrated growl. 

“Hmm?”

Arthur cursed quietly. He hadn’t meant to wake Merlin up and he couldn’t tell him he was up having an emotional crisis trying to figure out how to get Merlin to open up to him completely about everything. "I love you."

"Love you too." 

"You better." 

Merlin laughed and laced his fingers between Arthur’s own, his eyes closing again. His breathing evened out immediately, a smile on his lips. All Arthur could do was stare, terrified at the thought of what stupid thing Merlin might do next that could possibly put an end to his life.

**(TBC)**


End file.
